When a commissar knocks on your door at 3:00 in the morning and you need to get ready for a long boxcar trip to Siberia, nothing will wake you up better than a hot cup of strong Marxism Coffee!
Engrish.com that published this image points at "humorous English mistakes that appear in Japanese advertising and product design." This coffee mix from a Korean shop in China, however, is neither humorous nor is it a mistake. We at the People's Cube have been using Marxism Coffee Mix while writing our materials since the site's inception and couldn't be happier (thanks to our contacts at the Chinese Politburo). Now, would you also like to see the other side of the package? After a heated editorial debate, we decided on full disclosure in the spirit of our commitment to educating the oppressed masses.
Professor Kurgman: We need Universal Coffee Access legislation modeled after the Canadian healthcare system. Everyone will pay a new tax so that coffee will be provided for free, with retailers selected by Congress and compensated according to rates that are determined by the Senate Coffee Access Commission. This will ensure free coffee for everyone, everywhere. Once that is achieved, turning Marxism Coffee Mix into the only available state-approved brand is just a matter of time.
Is that a Marxism Coffee Mix mass-capacity feed tube flowing directly into Pple'sC Chief Story Editor's cranium?
If so - will such a device be available at the village dry goods co-op for the average proletariat or is it reserved for hi-ranking aparatchiki only?
In reverent and humble perpetual progressive proletariat prostration,
Try a cup of Heros of the Revolution. It's like Soylent Green only even more delicious.
Coffee is the opiate of the toiling masses? You betcha!
Have a Cup Today!
Or it's Gulag Tomorrow.
Marxism....because you belong to the state!
1. CLICK ON THE LINK (COFFEE MACHINE BELOW)
2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY
5. CLICK ON "APRI"
Don't forget to click on "APRI" !!!
http://www.cartoline.it/pics/_zoom_flas ... 404_01.swf
We will not allow leaks in our organization. This is not the White House. This technology is classified information. But now that the secret is out, a disclaimer is in order: this monkey has been fed all the right ingredients prior to brewing a perfect cup of coffee that's good to the last drop.
This is where Marxism Coffee apparently originates.
We went inside and took some snapshots...
The latter must have been left behind by the Commissar of Wet Works and Housekeeping (SMO's colleague).
(crackling and static... tuning... )
This is most korrect Comrade Peoples Direktor, The Great incarnadine Trapezoid (but as you have stated it, it could not possibly be otherwise)...
I am almost finished my sojourning on behalf The Party™, but thought I would send a few fotos back as my media cards were all getting rather full and the only ones available here are
Yes... I found this marvelous kavateria and kommisary during my travails... no... I am sorry for inkorrekt spellings... during my travels... yes, travels and researches on behalf of The Party™ and so very very excited was I that upon securing my Jew ears under my ushanka I immediately walked in and said, "Hello Comrades!.." and when the bullets had stopped flying, I continued, "Please, I would like to order a fragrant steaming pile of hot Marxism, to go... with a little extra hot pickled cabbage on the side, and some of those cruncy noodles..."
It was one of the most satisfying meals I have ever consumed, and the bacteria from the chicken only seemed to effect me on and off for, well... I am still taking the medicina and I may be quarantine for typhus for some time, but that remains to be seen... I will bring back the recipe...
Someone is coming and so I must be gone, like a dissenter in the night...
I live to serve. I serve to live...
Sister Massively Opiated
Kommissar of Housekeeping, Disappearances, Composting and Limo Services... Oops... forgot Dissektion... damn... always forget Dissektion... well... not forget... only forget in title... am always Dissekting.... sorry... medicina for dissentry make Sister babble sometimes, BUT NEVER REVEAL PARTY™ SECRETS!
Somewhere On The Road To Nowhere (exact lokation Party™ Secret) on Behalf of The Party™
(crackling and static...)
:: TRANSMISSION END ::
(crackling and static... tuning... )
I dispatched interloper... okay, so... I just wanted to add, if it pleases our Great Red Square, Sister would very much find it useful to have option of inserting... em... no... of placing the above warning sign in question, when necessary or in order to keep, for examples, small childrens from accidentally stumbling into inappropriate circumstances, should they wander away from, say, The Party™ creche, or from serving Meow his dinner... this sort of thing...
It is a very useful sign, is it not? I am thinking it is and so am begging Glorious Red Square's special dispensation in acquiring option of placing such sign when necessary to smooth the operations of the Kommissariate of Housekeeping's duties upon my return to the Bosom of The Party™ and The Cube™.... would this be possible, please, without going through Meow's time wasting triplicate forms and whatnot (I will take care of Meow... wait... did not sound right... I will find some appropriate favour to trade with Meow in order to make up for circumventing his tiresome and time-wasting preoccupation with dokumenting everything but his personal kollektion of Hummels and his extensive kollektion of forms of foreign currency... and I will keep Housekeeping from short-sheeting his bed, which is quite a feat really, since it is that travesty of a round rotating water-bed with satin sheets - do you have any idea how hard it is to short-sheet a round bed? Close to impossible, but yet, we manage!)...
In any case, Sister would very much like sign for her Kommissariate's use if it is as all possible this could be arranged.
Shise... someone else is coming! I must go before the pile becomes noticably large...
Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang,
(crackling and static...)
:: TRANSMISSION END ::
I am thanking you for your most great dispensation in this matter. Even as I type this, I am enjoying my morning Marxist Kava (the special PMO dark roast) with cream and sugar acquired from a very helpful prole who is even now changing into his second pair of underwears (such a wealthy country!)... Took very little persuasion, and his childrens lined up in front of Sister while she was waiting for him to retrieve it, and practiced their speeches denouncing their parents. It was very sweet. I am loving this country!
In any case, the sign will be of great use, and I think I would like to try it out now, while enjoying this wonderful cup'a'uncle'joe and being entertained by these obsequious little future back-stabbing darlings (it leads one to speculate if perhaps Meow has some off-spring that neither he nor The Party™ is aware of)... I have not had so much fun since we had that mock Christmas Caroling and gift giving exercise during the Thoughtcrime™ Seminar, where we were forced to drink eggnog, listen to signing of banned songs, and I even received a lump of very useful coal in my stocking (it was a warm night in the bunker that night!)...
Here I go... .... Oh! I very much enjoyed that... and here comes that annoying prole again... I do not think this sign will go to waste for long!
Oh come all ye faithful... just a little closer....
If so, it would bring new meaning to "smell the coffee."
For those of you who were blissfully unaware of it, there was once a coffee company trafficking in a brand with the offensive name "Contra Coffee" that was allegedly grown by former Contra exploiters and pillagers who had the gall to claim they were regularly being excluded from Fair Trade firms and denied government aid. As if! All we right-thinking (curses, that phrase!) people know President Ortega is a fine ruler. The Miskito Indians and others got what they deserved for clinging to their backward reactionary false consciousness. The wingnuts lapped it up, like the capitalist running dogs they are.
President Ortega might have some broken some eggs, but he had no huevos, for he had redistributed them among the masses. To great rejoicing.
But I digress.
The other day in a fit of pique, I went to The People's Search Engine and was delighted to find that "Contra Coffee" has apparently gone out of operation, thus sparing millions from physical, mental, and gastronomic pollution.