![]() 500,000,000 worth of capitalist property damage and counting | The new 'must work for money' rule, introduced by the French government, has precipitated huge street demonstrations in Paris, as student and labor leaders rise against the specter of capitalism, worried that its emphasis on hard work and personal responsibility will ruin their most cherished cultural values of government dependency. At the famed Sorbonne University, protesters vandalized cars, bus shelters, and shops, including a McDonald's restaurant. Rioters, crying "Vive la Révolution," absconded with a statue of Ronald McDonald and later beheaded it with a makeshift guillotine. "The new jobs contract is a slap in the face to our youth," an indignant student activist told us as he filled an empty wine bottle with gasoline to make a Molotov cocktail. "Every French child grows up dreaming that the government will give him a non-demanding job that'll pay for his future spacious apartment, month-long vacations, and dinners at Maxim. Now our dreams are shattered! Who can blame us for being angry? I'd like to look that person in the eye and torch his car." |
His friend Jacques, wearing a Che Guevara T-shirt, recalled growing up in a state-subsidized housing project. "We all knew we wouldn't have to do anything to earn a living as adults, just like our parents didn't," he said, climbing on top of a new Citroen. "We prepared ourselves for a dream life of eating cheese, watching Jerry Lewis comedies, and protecting the status of the most civilized nation on earth. I feel cheated. How can I ever trust the French government again?"
Most French intellectuals agree that the 'work for your money' rule is an insult to French culture, claiming that the very survival of the legendary French work ethic may be at stake. "More work, personal responsibility, and efficiency are all dangerous signs of encroaching Americanization," says the head of the philosophical department of the French Academy of Sciences. "We are happy to see so many young people today in the streets, willing to defend our traditional way of life based on idleness, arrogance, and corruption." Labor Unions maintain that the new law erodes the worker's right to attend nail salons, keep trysts with mistresses, and sit in cafes drinking coffee during work hours. "If our government and employers think they can force us to earn our pay, we'll teach them a lesson they won't forget," says UNEF leader Bruno Julliard. "First, we'll call for a national day of strikes on March 28. Then we will surrender to Belgium. The Belgians have better labor laws, and many also speak French, which makes them the next most civilized country on earth." Economists argue that, in terms of labor productivity, a national strike in France would be indistinguishable from a regular work day. The only difference is that the workers would consume their a peritif s and cigarettes outside, so as to better enjoy the arrival of spring, and, of course, some of them would be carrying union placards. |
Laika the Space Dog
Watch out for mimes, they could be mines.Kommissar Betty
Laika the Space Dog
Watch out for mimes, they could be mines.Former Marxist
Kommissar Betty
Laika the Space Dog
Watch out for mimes, they could be mines.Quote:
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