The Drudge Report story about the New York Times investigating the adoption by John Roberts of his two children continues to generate intolerant rhetoric in right-wing conservative circles. We asked the New York Times Executive Editor to give us his take on this story. Here is what he told The People's Cube:
"As is often the case, the original "source" of this "story," the Drudge Report, is wrong, overwrought and a gross misrepresentation of what has happened. What really happened is that our reporters, with great care, understanding the sensitivity of the issue, only asked a few legitimate questions.
One of our reporters simply asked, "Are these children really from South America? They look awfully white to me. Are they really children, or are they midgets with severe conservative right-wing agendas? Are these alleged "children" members of the Federalist Society?"
Another reporter merely inquired, "How did they get those kids? Why weren't they aborted? Did the mother have the right to choose? Who died and made the Robertses Gods?""
Several high-ranking Democrats agree with the NY Times' approach. Said Dr. Howard Dean, "These children are clearly plants by Karl Rove to make Roberts look sympathetic, but he can't fool the American people." Chairman Dean then demanded immediate repatriation of the stolen children and televised public show trials for both Rove and Roberts.
Men of Washington, what madness has come over you?
Can you believe the enemy truly gone?
A gift from the New York Times, and no ruse?
Is that Pinch's way, as you have known him?
Lies must be hiding in these pages,
Or it was written to butt against our Constitutional rights,
Peer over them into our houses, pelt
The Capitol from the sky. Some crookedness
Is in this thing. Have no faith in the paper!
Whatever it is, even when the New York Times brings gifts
I fear them, gifts and all.'"
The snakes, in fact, are our trusty liberal media, sent by the clever goddess of communism to destroy truth-tellers and their families for foolishly warning people against accepting free gifts of the Common Good. But we shall win, for no one has ever resisted a free gift - our strongest weapon.
The last time it happened, a few Trojans escaped the massacre, sailed to Italy, and built Rome. We then destroyed Rome by using free gifts of breads and circuses. Once again, a few Romans managed to escape. This time we must make sure that no one escapes.
I heard one of the adopted children set up a lemonade stand in front of the Roberts home and sold lemonade made by Halliburton and then refused to pay any taxes on the profits or redistribute the wealth to the neighboring children. My source was a very reliable anonymous source who received the information through an anonymous source who received the information from another reliable anonymous source. They also informed me the Karl Rove doesn't like France and he once threw an ACLU flier in his fireplace, a clear show of his hatred towards human rights.
"How did John Roberts get those awfully white children from South America? Was the mother held captive when she really wanted an abortion? Did they bleach those children to make them white?
We all know that Roberts blew up abortion clinics. Now we know he stole the right to choose and bleached the unfortunate birthlings. Do you want this man on the Supreme Court in charge of your nether-regions?"
As you know, like ice cream, abortion is a Summer favorite! All you pregnant women out there, remember, the hot Summer months can really be uncomfortable. It is ten times worse with a parasitic fetus heating up your womb and fattening you up! How about a nice cooling abortion? Afterwards, you can relax in a NARAL salon or just go home and look in the mirror at your svelte physique!
Some pregnant women want to get an abortion, but don't have the time. We have a new system where we will pick you up and bring you home at NO COST!
Other women say, "well, I am in my 8th month, so I'm not eligible." Well, think again! Late term abortions are one of the easiest and best things you can do for your body and your mental health. That pesky fetus won't be kicking and hormoning you up at all after one of our late term procedures!
See you at the clinic! Remember, it's the responsible thing to do, and you'll be much happier for it!
Thanks to NARAL, I avoided all kinds of problems with clothes and bathing suits! Sure, I wanted a baby, but who could put up with all that swelling and fattening up that comes with it? I was all ready to have a baby until I passed by a NARAL store. They were practically GIVING AWAY abortions, and WITH A MANICURE AND PEDICURE! Who could resist.
In one hour, I was back to feeling myself again, and my nails looked totally awesome!
Thank you NARAL!
Pregnancy is caused by
a. poor hygiene
b. eating greasy foods
c. eating chocolate
d. none of the above
Which of the following are treatments for pregnancy?
a. retin A cream
b. benzoyl peroxide cream
c. accutane pills
d. antibiotic pills
e. all of the above
True or False. Fetuses are really specs of dirt stuck in the
pores of your uterus.
True or False. Squeezing or popping fetuses helps them
Click here to get the answers!