| While canvassing neighborhoods in Ohio this Sunday, Barack Obama advised a tax-burdened plumber not to worry about money because under his presidency money will disappear since it will no longer have any meaning anyway. Instead, all Americans will be living off Obama's highly nutritive WealthSpread™ formula that is surprisingly low in effort and is being promoted by a group of leading nutritionists known as the Cook Fringe of the Democrat Party under the brand name "I Can't Believe It's Not Earned!" "Your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isn't it?" the plumber asked, complaining that he was being taxed "more and more for fulfilling the American dream." |
"So instead of cutting taxes with a kitchen knife we'll butter it up with wealth and spread it around like we earned it," the Democratic candidate continued. "It's a patented foreign blend that is guaranteed to help improve my standing in the polls, but it's made with 100% pure American taxpayer sweat, which once again shows how taxes can be patriotic." When asked to clarify how exactly this plan was going to work, Obama, who is currently ahead in the polls, explained that it was "quite simple: everyone will be contributing according to his abilities and consuming according to his needs, while special observers will be making sure that a worker's contribution does not go above or below the approved list of his abilities. Special distributors will also be making sure that a worker's needs do not exceed the quota based on the availability of the WealthSpread™ formula." "And, of course, there will also be watchers who will watch these watchers, and the watchers who will watch those watchers, and so on - leading to a full guaranteed employment for everybody." "What's not to vote for?" Obama finished as he was cheered on by a group of supporters wearing blue pins with the Obama logo and the words "Journalists for Obama."
When the inquiring plumber, in turn, was confronted with a question whether he would like to be in charge of determining his neighbor's needs and WealthSpread™ rations in his community, he lowered his eyes and admitted in a hushed voice that it sounded like an offer he couldn't refuse. Obama frequently rails against what he calls an immoral Republican concept of tax breaks that somehow "trickle down" to the rest of Americans, contrasting it with the beneficial effects his own low-effort WealthSpread™ formula that he claims has nothing in common with what his opponents label as "wealth redistribution."
|
Quote:
"quite simple: everyone will be contributing according to his abilities and consuming according to his needs,

jeffshultz
So.... any requirements/problems with my posting this on my own website?Quote:
I cannot find Obama's WealthSpread in my local market. Is it usually in the dairy section refrigerator? Am I in wrong section or wrong market?Red Square
Shocker: Obama Takes McCain into Custody
General Mousey-Tongue
Another K-O (as opposed to K-Y) by our Glorious Leader...Quote:
Does the WealthSpread come in a breast milk formula?


The Tsarevna
The Great One has done it again! Putting plumbers and Repuglican candidates in their Kapitalist place...on the way to the re-edukation kamp.

ObamaMarx2008.
HOUSEKEEPING DEPT: People's Troll's post has been whited out.
Tiglath-Pileser
jeffshultz
So.... any requirements/problems with my posting this on my own website?AbecedariusRex
ObamaMarx2008.
HOUSEKEEPING DEPT: People's Troll's post has been whited out.
Komissar Blogunov
AbecedariusRex
Hey, Blogonuv, wanna attend a young conservatives meeting together?I. Fling Pu
How can a college student best use this wonderous spread?Komissar Blogunov
AbecedariusRex
Hey, Blogonuv, wanna attend a young conservatives meeting together?Sister Massively Opiated
First, the Cube protects me, and then the Party protects me, and now the Obamesssiah™ and his WealthSpread™ protecteth me and provideth for me. He maketh me tingle and speaketh in tongues... I feel all shiny and new... or at least shiny... and a bit slippery...
Chairman M. S. Punchenko
Film Actors Guild? I like that Alec Baldwin.




AbecedariusRex
Jesus is speaking out of your grandfather's derriere? Man, that wacky messiah. What a card.RepublicanPlumber
I love this website! You guys are too funny! Real patriots!Plumba For Obama
I am a true democrat! Everyday I drink 18 beers and shove the bottles up my ass. I work hard at my job of sitting on my ass and collecting welfare. I want to achieve the AMERICAN DREAM of having BARACK OBAMA LICK MY SHIT FILLED ASSHOLE.



one ping only
so correctGeneral Mousey-Tongue
Another K-O (as opposed to K-Y) by our Glorious Leader...Ted State
Where do I obtain such a glorious shirt? I will wear it proudly around Harvard Square in the Peoples Republik of Cambridge, MA and post the video on you tube. If I am not killed first. Can you post a link to the shirt or did you photoshop it on the guy?Commissarka Pinkie
...I wonder if he's a frustrated borderline genius...Komissar Blogunov
Commissarka Pinkie
...I wonder if he's a frustrated borderline genius...AbecedariusRex
Komissar Blogunov
Commissarka Pinkie
...I wonder if he's a frustrated borderline genius...Komissar Blogunov
Fascinating the attractive power of WealthSpreadTM. We just joke about free giveaways and these losers materialize. Also, I think I understand the troll. I believe he's trying to be ironic. Maybe if the collective pitched in and bought him a thesaurus his insults would have potential to be clever. But it seems that like most underage bloggers, he'll continue to be vulgar to get attention and imagine that somebody, somewhere (besides himself) is genuinely impressed. Look everybody! I can use dirty words! Please, please notice me and affirm that I'm significant!Troll
OBSCENITIES DELETEDVladimir Toot'en
Troll
OBSCENITIES DELETEDComrade_Tovarich
Comrades,| Related Articles | Author | Replies | Views | |
Hillary: My Finest Hour, Or How I Earned My CIB | Hillary | 57 | 31253 | |
Obama's War on Fox News Becomes a Quagmire(Go to page: 1, 2) | Red Square | 96 | 54883 | |
Obama's Keys To The Car Speech | Superkommissar Maksim | 39 | 5850 | |
Obama's Nuts And Their Magical Properties | Red Square | 40 | 50602 | |
Al-Qaeda Kidnaps Obama's Teleprompter(Go to page: 1, 2, 3) | Komissar Blogunov | 161 | 58569 | |
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests
News
Site map
SitemapIndex
RSS Feed
Channel list
Rubiks & Rubik’s Cube ® used by special individual permission of Seven Town Ltd.
News
Site map
SitemapIndex
RSS Feed
Channel list
Gosnell's office in Benghazi raided by the IRS: mainstream media's worst cover-up challenge to date
IRS targeting pro-gay-marriage LGBT groups leads to gayest tax revolt in U.S. history
After Arlington Cemetery rejects offer to bury Boston bomber, Westboro Babtist Church steps up with premium front lawn plot
Boston: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence'
Study: Success has many fathers but failure becomes a government program
US Media: Can Pope Francis possibly clear up Vatican bureaucracy and banking without blaming the previous administration?
Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy
This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester

White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras
Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse
Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school
Study: Free lunches overpriced, lack nutrition
Oscars 2013: Michelle Obama announces long-awaited merger of Hollywood and the State
Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: 'rapists and rapees should work together to prevent gun violence for the common good'
Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'
Kremlin puts out warning not to photoshop Putin riding meteor unless bare-chested
Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead
Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending
Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances
Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons
Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago
Karl Rove puts an end to Tea Party with new 'Republicans For Democrats' strategy aimed at losing elections
Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country
Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'
White House releases new exciting photos of Obama standing, sitting, looking thoughtful, and even breathing in and out
New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen
White House: when President shoots skeet, he donates the meat to food banks that feed the middle class
To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead
State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations
Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward
President issues executive orders banning cliffs, ceilings, obstructions, statistics, and
other notions that prevent us from moving forwards and upward
Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects
World ends; S&P soars
Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood
Meek inherit Earth, can't afford estate taxes
Greece abandons Euro; accountants find Greece has no Euros anyway
Wheel finally reinvented; axles to be gradually reinvented in 3rd quarter of 2013
Bigfoot found in Ohio, mysteriously not voting for Obama
As Santa's workshop files for bankruptcy, Fed offers bailout in exchange for control of 'naughty and nice' list
Freak flying pig accident causes bacon to fly off shelves
Obama: green economy likely to transform America into a leading third world country of the new millennium
Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future
Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs
Modernizing Islam: New York imam proposes to canonize Saul Alinsky as religion's latter day prophet
Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'
Study: Obama's threat to burn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties
Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years
Obama attends church service, worships self
Obama proposes national 'Win The Future' lottery; proceeds of new WTF Powerball to finance more gov't spending
Historical revisionists: "Hey, you never know"
Vice President Biden: criticizing Egypt is un-pharaoh
Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"
Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness
Al Gore: It's a shame that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of polar bears
Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke
Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights
Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code.' Elsewhere rapists tout 'consent reductions in sexual intercourse'
Obama's teleprompter unhappy with White House Twitter: "Too few words"
Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't
Taking a page from the Reagan years, Obama announces new era of Perestroika and Glasnost
Responding to Oslo shootings, Obama declares Christianity "Religion of Peace," praises "moderate Christians," promises to send one into space
Republicans block Obama's $420 billion program to give American families free charms that ward off economic bad luck
White House to impose Chimney tax on Santa Claus
Obama decrees the economy is not soaring as much as previously decreeed
Conservative think tank introduces children to capitalism with pop-up picture book "The Road to Smurfdom"
Al Gore proposes to combat Global Warming by extracting silver linings from clouds in Earth's atmosphere
Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: "When you pray to God, do you always hear a response?"
Obama regrets the US government didn't provide his mother with free contraceptives when she was in college
Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!
Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: 'Come again soon!'
Obama to tornado victims: 'We inherited this weather from the previous administration'
Obama congratulates Putin on Chicago-style election outcome
People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies
Hamas: Israeli air defense unfair to 99% of our missiles, "only 1% allowed to reach Israel"
Democrat strategist: without government supervision, women would have never evolved into humans
Voters Without Borders oppose Texas new voter ID law
Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond
Obama blames previous Olympics for failure to win at this Olympics
Official: China plans to land on Moon or at least on cheap knockoff thereof
Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels
Poll: Progressive slogan 'We should be more like Europe' most popular with members of American Nazi Party
Obama to Evangelicals: Jesus saves, I just spend
May Day: Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above
Midwestern farmers hooked on new erotic novel "50 Shades of Hay"
Study: 99% of Liberals give the rest a bad name
Obama meets with Jewish leaders, proposes deeper circumcisions for the rich
Historians: Before HOPE & CHANGE there was HEMP & CHOOM at ten bucks a bag
Cancer once again fails to cure Venezuela of its "President for Life"
Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory
Secretary of Energy Steven Chu: due to energy conservation, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off
Obama Administration running food stamps across the border with Mexico in an operation code-named "Fat And Furious"
Pakistan explodes in protest over new Adobe Acrobat update; 17 local acrobats killed
White House: "Let them eat statistics"
Special Ops: if Benedict Arnold had a son, he would look like Barack Obama
I Own The World
Supercommissar Maksim
It's Big Fur Hat
Blur-Brain
Terry Colon
The Fine Report
The Looking Spoon
Sad Hill News
Professor Kurgman
kathy blog
FAQster
AWOL Civilization
BestObamaFacts.com
Looking at the Left
Red Planet Cartoons
Julia Gorin
Brain Terminal
Death By 1000 Papercuts
Zombietime