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As seen on Pajamas MediaHoly Shiite! Pious pilgrimage just got more exciting at Imam Reza's shrine in Iran, where for a reasonable fee (see price list below) a mullah can join any eager pilgrim in holy matrimony of "temporary marriage" with his choice of a lovely, fully hijabed, and properly veiled prostitute for a period between 5 hours to 10 days. Pedophiles welcome: girls as young as 12 years of age are standing by. Not to worry, the mullahs got them covered: all "temps" under 14 must show a written consent from their fathers or male guardians (no doubt on advice from the recently fired, now freelancing ACORN specialists).
We are not making this up.
According to a document obtained by Planet-Iran.com, the mullahs are doing it not for the money (what's a 5% pimp cut for a holy shrine?), but out of the noble desire "to elevate the spiritual atmosphere, create proper psychological conditions and tranquility of mind" of "those brothers who are on pilgrimage to the shrine." Verily, what true believer can maintain tranquility of mind and not succumb to sexual yearning while away from his other wives for nearly a week? No pious man should have to suffer such inhumanity.
~
Here's how it works. The mullah performs a ceremony that sanctions the "morality" of the relationship for a period specified in the "prenuptial agreement" (not more than 10 days, minimum charge 5 hrs) - in direct proportion to the size of the "bridegroom's" wallet. When the "godliness" of their prepaid romance expires, the "honeymooners" descend from the moral high ground to get an easy, Sharia-compliant divorce.
No citing of irreconcilable differences is required - but if it had been, I imagine the most common case would sound something like "I'm a deeply religious person, and she is a whore." As Allah and his prophet Mohammed would have it, a man can have many wives, so no laws are broken and the decorum is intact.Everyone is happy: the mullahs count their money, the enlightened "pilgrim" goes home with a renewed sense of moral self-righteousness, and the recurrent bachelorette is back on the bridal market.
In her case it's the reception room of the Center for Temporary Marriage (just next door to the shrine), where she sits on the couch reading Modern Bride and waiting, with a fainting heart, for the door to swing open and a tall, dark, handsome bridegroom to rush in, lift her in his arms, and carry her to the altar, and they would have a family and live happily ever after for as long as a whole week, or maybe even for the entire maximum allowed period of ten days.
But don't take my word for it. Here's the document, translated into English by Planet-Iran.com (if you read Farsi, click here for the original)
In the name of Allah who is most gracious and merciful
Temporary Marriage (Marriage is among the traditions of the Prophet Mohammad)
In order to elevate the spiritual atmosphere, create proper psychological conditions and tranquility of mind, the Province of the Quds'eh-Razavi of Khorassan has created centers for temporary marriage (just next door to the shrine) for those brothers who are on pilgrimage to the shrine of our eighth Imam, Imam Reza, and who are far away from their spouses.
To that end, we call on all our sisters who are virgins, who are between the ages of 12 and 35 to cooperate with us. Each of our sisters who signs up will be bound by a two-year contract with the province of the Quds'eh-Razavi of Khorassan and will be required to spend at least 25 days of each month temporarily married to those brothers who are on pilgrimage. The period of the contract will be considered as a part of the employment experience of the applicant. The period of each temporary marriage can be anywhere between 5 hours to 10 days. The prices are as follows:
- 5 hour temporary marriage - 50,000 Tomans ($50 US)
- One day temporary marriage - 75,000 Tomans ($75 US)
- Two day temporary marriage - 100,000 Tomans ($100 US)
- Three day temporary marriage - 150,000 Tomans ($150 US)
- Between 4 and 10 day temporary marriage - 300,000 Tomans ($300 US)
Our sisters who are virgins will receive a bonus of 100,000 Tomans ($100 US) for the removal of their hymen.
After the expiration of the two-year contract, should our sisters still be under 35 years of age and should they be so inclined, they can be added to the waiting list of those who are seeking long-term temporary marriage. The employed sisters are obligated to donate 5% of their earnings to the Shrine of Imam Reza. We ask that all the sisters who are interested in applying, to furnish two full-length photographs (fully hijabed and properly veiled), their academic diplomas, proof of their virginity and a certificate of good physical and psychological health which they can obtain through the health and human services of the township of their residence. Please forward all compiled material and send to the below address by the 31st of the month of Ordibehesht, 1389 (May 21st, 2010).
Attention: For sisters who are below 14 years of age, a written consent from their fathers or male guardian is required.
Address: Mash'had, Shrine of Imam Reza, Shaheed Navab-Safavi, Kossar passage, Bureau of Temporary Marriages
(See full text on Planet-Iran.com)
And you thought speech codes only existed on your local public radio. The mullahs have been perfecting the magic of word games too, and with great efficiency. For instance, the above document can be used as proof that there is no prostitution in Iran.
Obviously, it is not sex tourism as long as they call it "visiting holy shrines." It is not sexual exploitation as long as the clients are called "brothers" and the whores are called "sisters." It is not a brothel as long as you call it a "Bureau." It is not prostitution as long as it is called "temporary marriage," the hustler is a mullah, and the pimp cut is an "obligatory donation."
"We ask that all the sisters who are interested in applying, to furnish two full-length photographs (fully hijabed and properly veiled)..."
See? No prostitution whatsoever. Just like there are no homosexuals in Iran. Sanctimonious language works every time whenever an irrational culture keeps people blind to reality, compelling them to judge others by what they say and not by what they do.
The mullahs are very peculiar about maintaining a highly moral society. And the society plays along, by exhibiting a highly moral behavior. And what happens in the Shrine of the Eighth Imam, stays in the Shrine of the Eighth Imam.
You may still be smirking about the new definition of "temporary employment agency." Or yucking that the meaning of "brothers" and "sisters" will never be the same again. And it may be a while before you stop associating the word "honeymoon" with the crescent on top of a mosque.
But don't be in a hurry to act superior. It seems ridiculous only because you're not accustomed to it. There are similarly ridiculous absurdities with which you grew up in your own culture without giving them much thought, or gave up fighting them.
For example, haven't you yourself swallowed and digested - at least partially - similarly sanctimonious speech codes of the American mainstream media? The political correctness as practiced by educators, entertainers, and politicians, who believe that a change of words can somehow change the objective reality?
The details may be different on the surface, but the core belief is the same - the game of banning, promoting, and inventing words puts them in control of your mind. At least in this respect, East and West appear to be sharing the same values.
Generally speaking, the Islamic culture is rather restrictive. But with a pious decorum and all the correct words, anything goes - from pedophilia to wholesale slaughter. Just don't forget to call it love, peace, friendship, tolerance, or sensitivity. And keep repeating "in the name of Allah who is most gracious and merciful" - bismillah al rahman al rahim - as often as you can.
The sanctimonious disguise can go a long way - even as far as New York, where you can build a mosque next to the ruins of Ground Zero and call it "a friendship center." As an added bonus, you get the moral right to malign the protesting Americans as "bigots" - and do so with a full backing on part of New York's "useful intellectuals" - a small but powerful sect with an extremely sanctimonious culture of their own.
Technically, the Muslim clerics behind the Ground Zero mosque are not the same as the Iranian mullahs, but their religionist tactics and belief in Sharia are identical. And although the New York sect is of a secular variety, it is also just as pious and self-delusional. Just as it is with the mullahs, anything is permissible here - from pedophilia to theft to wholesale slaughter - as long as one claims good intentions and uses a politically correct language, like love, peace, friendship, tolerance, sensitivity, or economic equality and justice. Based on emotion rather than reason, the sect's irrational culture keeps its adepts blind to reality and compels them to judge others by their words rather than by their deeds.
And that is why the New York sect has no objections to Sharia, as long as its proponents use all the right words. The two sects seem to understand each other so well because on a deeper level they both speak the same language. That makes them natural allies. At least for the time being.
OK, you've convinced me. I am taking this flyer down to my local mosque so that I can convert to Islam. Does this coupon entitle me to any discounts? You know, two for one, buy one, get the second for half off, anything like that? This is transferable, right? I assume that once I convert, I can use this flyer at my local mosque. Iran is more pilgrimage than I need, and I live close enough to Dearborn Michigan so that this semi-true believing brother will still have a good selection of temporary brides in order to elevate my "spiritual atmosphere" on my lesser-pilgrimage to Fordson High School in Dearborn.
I know that there was more to this post, but I was much too concerned with my "inner-jihad" to comprehend any of what you wrote after the price - uh - I mean - donation list.
I know that there was more to this post, but I was much too concerned with my "inner-jihad" to comprehend any of what you wrote after the price - uh - I mean - donation list.
I hear Al Gore is now considering a temporary conversion to Islam. All the chakras, massages, and other New Age stuff are a thing of the past now. Youthful indiscretions, really. He's completely serious now, as Islam is a very serious religion.
WOW, THAT IS SOME BURKA BABE! Won't Mrs. Al Czarweary be impressed with that one... I bet she can hardly wait to try that on for her dear husband (o m g, are they kidding??!!) But I am so delighted to see Comrade Algore, venturing into a new adventure with the Mooslimics! I think they can have as many wives and concubine as they want.
I heard a rumor that His Excellency is proposing a new tax on Iran's Temporary Marriage industry. Can he do that?
No Big Deal, The progressives in Hollwood are way ahead of the curve on this one as they have had these types of marriage arrangements for a long time........however, they are typically accompained with a prenup................
Great Stalin's Ghost
OK, you've convinced me. I am taking this flyer down to my local mosque so that I can convert to Islam. Does this coupon entitle me to any discounts? You know, two for one, buy one, get the second for half off, anything like that? This is transferable, right? I assume that once I convert, I can use this flyer at my local mosque. Iran is more pilgrimage than I need, and I live close enough to Dearborn Michigan so that this semi-true believing brother will still have a good selection of temporary brides in order to elevate my "spiritual atmosphere" on my lesser-pilgrimage to Fordson High School in Dearborn.I know that there was more to this post, but I was much too concerned with my "inner-jihad" to comprehend any of what you wrote after the price - uh - I mean - donation list.
Let me know how that works out komrade. I will be vissiting the worker's paradise known as Detriot ath the end of next month.
In the Boob-Bait Bazaar, we refuse to be out-classed by the Iranian Mullahs who for their own selfish reasons are undermining our suicide-bomber recruiting program.
--Kommisar of Fatwas
--Kommisar of Fatwas
oh my, is that Mrs. Al, trying on yet another new burka?
frankthekulak
Great Stalin's Ghost
OK, you've convinced me. I am taking this flyer down to my local mosque so that I can convert to Islam. Does this coupon entitle me to any discounts? You know, two for one, buy one, get the second for half off, anything like that? This is transferable, right? I assume that once I convert, I can use this flyer at my local mosque. Iran is more pilgrimage than I need, and I live close enough to Dearborn Michigan so that this semi-true believing brother will still have a good selection of temporary brides in order to elevate my "spiritual atmosphere" on my lesser-pilgrimage to Fordson High School in Dearborn.I know that there was more to this post, but I was much too concerned with my "inner-jihad" to comprehend any of what you wrote after the price - uh - I mean - donation list.
Let me know how that works out komrade. I will be vissiting the worker's paradise known as Detriot ath the end of next month. I assume it will work out very well, Comrade frankthekulak. Cruising the mosques of Dearbornistan for temporary brides is much safer than trying to fulfill one's spiritual needs on 8 Mile. The mosques have lower prices. You don't get hassled by the Zionist-controlled (blue uniforms - need I say more?) law enforcement community. And if you can't trust an imam to guarantee the chastity and willingness of your temporary bride to comply with your every wish in order to have a satisfying and climactic spiritual experience, then who can you trust? We can meet at the Islamic House of Wisdom during Imam Mohammed Ali "Alfonzo" Elahi's Halal Pancake Breakfast.
Burka girl likes to wear the viel and burkas dark
And Jihadi guy beats her hard when she's down on her back
Living for the Hajj or Ramadon
She's gonna show one Jihadi she gets bruised
And I pray that someday Allah gets me Burka girl
Burka girl likes to stay out of his sight
She prays Allah Akbar while she listens to the jihad songs
He's waitin' for that moment of submission
Her butt is calloused but her heart is tender
And I pray that someday Allah gets me Burka girl
Oh get me a get me a get me a Burka girl
get me a get me a get me a Burka girl
Oh get me a get me a get me a Burka girl
get me a get me a get me a Burka girl
A Burka girl got stripes on her back from his belt
She better not look at another but her man and or else
She is screaming out cause of her terror
She's selected then comes marriage
And I pray that someday Allah gets me Burka girl
Yeah get me a get me a get me a Burka girl
Oh get me a get me a get me a Burka girl
get me a get me a get me a Burka girl
Oh get me a get me a get me a Burka girl
get me a get me a get me a Burka girl
Oh get me a get me a get me a Burka girl
get me a get me a get me a Burka girl
Quote:
In her case it's the reception room of the Center for Temporary Marriage (just next door to the shrine), where she sits on the couch reading Modern Bride and waiting, with a fainting heart, for the door to swing open and a tall, dark, handsome bridegroom to rush in, lift her in his arms, and carry her to the altar, and they would have a family and live happily ever after for as long as a whole week, or maybe even for the entire maximum allowed period of ten days.This is exactly what I do at my dacha every Friday night, only instead of tall, dark and handsome, I get comrades reeking of Calvin Klein's "Desperation", bearing nosegays of wilted dandelions, half-price chocolates from the Scratch & Dent, and a bag of their dirty laundry.
Suggestions, anyone? Should I try a change of venue, pick up my bridal guide, and move to the Center for Temporary Marriage? Or does anyone think I would be more likely to attract TD&H if I just stayed put but covered myself from head to toe in veils?
Anyone?
Anyone at all?
Pinkie - I knew you would pick up this paragraph because I was thinking of your karakter as I wrote it. My heart bled as I drew this mental portrait of you.
Doing what you described would be a mistake. Think of the kollektive! How will we continue without your lovely red-scarfed, red-cheeked, and red-nosed visage always around - even if it's always around the corner, plotting to whack an unsuspecting comrade with a shovel?
What will we have instead, a Red Ninja Pinkie?
Your best bet is to stay the chosen romantic course: paste a magazine clipping of a TD&H comrade on your shovel and drink beet vodka until said comrade comes alive in your eyes.
And then, who knows? If you wait long enough, and you raise awareness high enough... I don't want to lie to you, but if the Progressive World of Next Tuesday happens in our lifetime, I'm sure the government will honor your service to the community by awarding you with a shovel-ready husband - a dreamy TD&H Spousal Unit redistributed to you directly from the state warehouse in the city of Vodkinsk.
Then we will drink at your wedding.
And the Party knows best.
Doing what you described would be a mistake. Think of the kollektive! How will we continue without your lovely red-scarfed, red-cheeked, and red-nosed visage always around - even if it's always around the corner, plotting to whack an unsuspecting comrade with a shovel?
What will we have instead, a Red Ninja Pinkie?
Your best bet is to stay the chosen romantic course: paste a magazine clipping of a TD&H comrade on your shovel and drink beet vodka until said comrade comes alive in your eyes.
And then, who knows? If you wait long enough, and you raise awareness high enough... I don't want to lie to you, but if the Progressive World of Next Tuesday happens in our lifetime, I'm sure the government will honor your service to the community by awarding you with a shovel-ready husband - a dreamy TD&H Spousal Unit redistributed to you directly from the state warehouse in the city of Vodkinsk.
Then we will drink at your wedding.
And the Party knows best.
Temporary Marriage
Whenever you're down
Mohamed has given you a way
get unwound
It's my Jihad pleasure
Islam fantasy
Someone to rent my
Final hours with me
Temporary Marriage
You're leased for a time
Temporary Marriage oh yeah
When Islamic lovers
Don't feel what you feel
And Jihad seems to be Allahs perfect will
Momentary's made real
Temporary Marriage, Temporary Marriage
You're mine for a time
[Instrumental Interlude]
Temporary Marriages never disagree
Allah wills it
They're always there for a fee
They will tell you they're thirteen
Temporary Marriage,Temporary Marriage
You're mine for a time
My Temporary Marriage
You're mine. My last time
Great Stalin's Ghost
[ I assume it will work out very well, Comrade frankthekulak. Cruising the mosques of Dearbornistan for temporary brides is much safer than trying to fulfill one's spiritual needs on 8 Mile. The mosques have lower prices. You don't get hassled by the Zionist-controlled (blue uniforms - need I say more?) law enforcement community. And if you can't trust an imam to guarantee the chastity and willingness of your temporary bride to comply with your every wish in order to have a satisfying and climactic spiritual experience, then who can you trust? We can meet at the Islamic House of Wisdom during Imam Mohammed Ali "Alfonzo" Elahi's Halal Pancake Breakfast.GSH...... Being as I am of working in Dearbornistan at this time, and I also pass by
But spousal unit be not of approving to becoming
Must see if this concept also available in future in Democratic People's Republic of Virginia. Most likely so in DC area, as our
Boris Badanoff
GSH...... Being as I am of working in Dearbornistan at this time, and I also pass byBut spousal unit be not of approving to becoming
Must see if this concept also available in future in Democratic People's Republic of Virginia. Most likely so in DC area, as our
By the way, please don't mention this to my wife. As progressive as she is, for some reason she too, refuses to embrace both "more equal than others" and temporary brides. When it comes to my embrace of temporary brides, she becomes quite reactionary.
Is it ten days as the moon rises or ten days as the moon sets?
What if ahhh...let's say for the sake of argument...that a matrimonial minaret does not rise firm and erect at the mosque to praise Allah after so-called "marriage"? Is not the groom entitled to a full Toman refund or a goat of his liking? If not goat, maybe camel?
I always look for the fine print in such social contracts. I remember when Helen the Toaster ended up at the bottom of the Potomac.
I know....too many questions...trust the mullah and you will be mullafied...errr...mollified.
What if ahhh...let's say for the sake of argument...that a matrimonial minaret does not rise firm and erect at the mosque to praise Allah after so-called "marriage"? Is not the groom entitled to a full Toman refund or a goat of his liking? If not goat, maybe camel?
I always look for the fine print in such social contracts. I remember when Helen the Toaster ended up at the bottom of the Potomac.
I know....too many questions...trust the mullah and you will be mullafied...errr...mollified.
Dah, Janet too big for pretty muslim lady sheets. Janet think, uh, Janet think American people need to, uh, need to be nice to muslim people. Janet SMASH American people who, uh, who are mean to nice muslim ways. Daaah, Janet make them pay! Janet pet pretty dog Laika now. Come here pretty Laika. No need to hide from Janet. Janet love small helpless animals.
And Now Live from Imam Reza's Shrine of Holy Pleasures, Let's give it up for Groucho Marxist
Allah Akbar Everybody!!!!!!!
Don't duck, just sayin hi
Rimshot
Hey have you seen the sex shops here in Palestine? Great inflatable dolls.
They blow themselves up. Rimshot
I was working the suicide hot-line the other night and I got a call. I said you calling from a cell phone.
He said, "Yes" Can I call you back at this number? He said, "Not Yet" Rimshot
Have you seen the latest flick? "Burkas Gone Bad"? Rimshot
You spend six hours in this sun you'll think burkas gone bad. They can walk away on their own. Make you think they have already detonated. And they thought something was "rotten in Denmark".
Rimshot
Gotta love those burkas. One size fits all. Rimshot
So two suicide bombers get on a crowded elevator and one farts. The other says "Hadji was that you?" "No....... Not Yet"
Rimshot
An Islamic panda bear walks into a bar. Orders a sandwich. Eats it and then pulls out a gun and shoots everybody.
He then heads for the door and bartender says, Hey whats that all about. Panda says look it up for yourself.
Bartender looks up panda bear and reads. "Eats shoots and leaves. Rimshot
Tough crowd, Haven't seen a crowd this tough since I played Uday's birthday party.
Rimshot
But seriously folks. tough crowd in Baghdad. When you bomb there...
You really BOMB. Rimshot
If you bomb bad enough you ya get 72 virgins.
And you see where they strap those bombs......
They're still virgins!!!!Rimshot
And talk about being sexually frustrated, I thought my ex-wife was bad.Rimshot
Man the whole country here is singing "I can't get no satisfaction"
Half of it has had clitorectomys. Rimshot
Seems I made somebody mad over there. Hard to imagine pissing off somebody called a "mullah" Guess they misunderstood me..
I said something about all this oil for profit..... Rimshot
and they thought is was for Prophet. I barely got out alive.
Had to fly out quickly.
Boy are my arms tired.
Rimshot
Hey you been a great crowd... Allah Akbar y'all. Ducks and runs out.......
Allah Akbar Everybody!!!!!!!
Don't duck, just sayin hi
Rimshot
Hey have you seen the sex shops here in Palestine? Great inflatable dolls.
They blow themselves up. Rimshot
I was working the suicide hot-line the other night and I got a call. I said you calling from a cell phone.
He said, "Yes" Can I call you back at this number? He said, "Not Yet" Rimshot
Have you seen the latest flick? "Burkas Gone Bad"? Rimshot
You spend six hours in this sun you'll think burkas gone bad. They can walk away on their own. Make you think they have already detonated. And they thought something was "rotten in Denmark".
Rimshot
Gotta love those burkas. One size fits all. Rimshot
So two suicide bombers get on a crowded elevator and one farts. The other says "Hadji was that you?" "No....... Not Yet"
Rimshot
An Islamic panda bear walks into a bar. Orders a sandwich. Eats it and then pulls out a gun and shoots everybody.
He then heads for the door and bartender says, Hey whats that all about. Panda says look it up for yourself.
Bartender looks up panda bear and reads. "Eats shoots and leaves. Rimshot
Tough crowd, Haven't seen a crowd this tough since I played Uday's birthday party.
Rimshot
But seriously folks. tough crowd in Baghdad. When you bomb there...
You really BOMB. Rimshot
If you bomb bad enough you ya get 72 virgins.
And you see where they strap those bombs......
They're still virgins!!!!Rimshot
And talk about being sexually frustrated, I thought my ex-wife was bad.Rimshot
Man the whole country here is singing "I can't get no satisfaction"
Half of it has had clitorectomys. Rimshot
Seems I made somebody mad over there. Hard to imagine pissing off somebody called a "mullah" Guess they misunderstood me..
I said something about all this oil for profit..... Rimshot
and they thought is was for Prophet. I barely got out alive.
Had to fly out quickly.
Boy are my arms tired.
Rimshot
Hey you been a great crowd... Allah Akbar y'all. Ducks and runs out.......
Just in time for this story, a Muslim community in Brooklyn's Sheepshead Bay is fighting their own battle to build a new mosque there.
The flyer says it all. Got it from here - http://www.facebook.com/?tid=1514313694 ... 4736001634
The flyer says it all. Got it from here - http://www.facebook.com/?tid=1514313694 ... 4736001634
"prey" and "mostly" is all you need to know
Free conversions for Africans? Do they have to be full-blooded Africans born on African soil, or can they be mongrels?
And why can't I get a free conversion? At the very least, couldn't I get a free burqa when I convert? (I do like that "Red Ninja" look Red Square showed me.)
And why can't I get a free conversion? At the very least, couldn't I get a free burqa when I convert? (I do like that "Red Ninja" look Red Square showed me.)
This reminds me of "affirmative action bake sales" spoofs on campuses. Only this is no spoof. It's dead serious.
I am heartbroken... the link is not working for the facebook thingy. But then I am not a real African or even a fake African so I would not get the free conversion price. <<,sob. sob>>
Come the world of next Tuesday, we will all get free conversions no doubt.
Come the world of next Tuesday, we will all get free conversions no doubt.
And I'm guessing they mostly do not support pedophilia and child brides, temporary or otherwise.
I have some questions for the winner of this contest.
Muhammad Asyraf Ridzuan beat a 27-year-old Islamic schoolteacher who studied at Egypt's Al-Azhar University to win the competition late Friday in an event broadcast nationwide from an auditorium packed with spectators who secured highly coveted tickets. It was the culmination of a 10-episode run to find a young man whose religious devotion could inspire other Malaysian Muslims of his generation.
The boyish-looking Muhammad Asyraf's victory earned him prizes that mixed the spiritual -- a new job as prayer leader at a prestigious Kuala Lumpur mosque and an all-expenses-paid pilgrimage to Mecca -- with the secular, including a car, iPhone, laptop and 20,000 ringgit ($6,400) in cash.
Quote:
An Islamic reality TV show that made its contestants counsel promiscuous teenagers and bury corpses has named a 26-year-old mosque prayer leader as Malaysia's top role model for young Muslims. Producers voiced hopes Sunday of launching similar versions of "Imam Muda," or "Young Leader," in other Muslim-majority countries after the Malaysian show's first season became the most-watched program to ever air on pay-television network Astro's Islamic channel.Muhammad Asyraf Ridzuan beat a 27-year-old Islamic schoolteacher who studied at Egypt's Al-Azhar University to win the competition late Friday in an event broadcast nationwide from an auditorium packed with spectators who secured highly coveted tickets. It was the culmination of a 10-episode run to find a young man whose religious devotion could inspire other Malaysian Muslims of his generation.
The boyish-looking Muhammad Asyraf's victory earned him prizes that mixed the spiritual -- a new job as prayer leader at a prestigious Kuala Lumpur mosque and an all-expenses-paid pilgrimage to Mecca -- with the secular, including a car, iPhone, laptop and 20,000 ringgit ($6,400) in cash. 
I'm not much at bakin' but cookin' is what I'm all about.
Hey, Groucho Dangerfield, nice bit.
Q - When is the only time you can spit in a Arab woman's face?
A - When her mustache is on fire!
Rimshot
All due respect to Comrade Al.
This is of course beneath me and I denounce any and all use of such material. The collective would never demean woman by speaking in such a fashion. Stoning is the only civilized way. I hope this does not degenerate into tasteless Arab jokes. We at the collective subscribe to, "Be Allah you can be!"
Okay, I'm quitting while I'm only just behind and not yet fatwa fodder.
Q - When is the only time you can spit in a Arab woman's face?
A - When her mustache is on fire!
Rimshot
All due respect to Comrade Al.
This is of course beneath me and I denounce any and all use of such material. The collective would never demean woman by speaking in such a fashion. Stoning is the only civilized way. I hope this does not degenerate into tasteless Arab jokes. We at the collective subscribe to, "Be Allah you can be!"
Okay, I'm quitting while I'm only just behind and not yet fatwa fodder.
Great Stalin's Ghost
And I'm guessing they mostly do not support pedophilia and child brides, temporary or otherwise. MostlyThis story is now reposted in New English Review and has one insightful comment. See, marriages don't always work out, even the temporary ones.
It's hard to choose.
The two-day package seems like a bargain, only twice what you'd have to pay for five-hours, and only $25 more than one day would cost. Of course the biggest bargain of all, if we are thinking only in coarse pro rata terms, is the 4-10 day Mutah, but that's a long time, then you're practically committed, and what if, after a day or two, things just don't work out, and you've gone and already plunked down 300,000 tomans.
No, all in all, the price-point for me, and all others similarly thrifty and unwilling to commit, is that two-day package.
What about you?
Indeed, if your temporary marriage is failing and you're too honest to pretend and too moral to live a lie, can you cut it short and get your money back?
Also, will it be cheating (or undermine the institution of marriage) if while being married to a temporary wife you fall in love with another woman and enter into a permanent marriage with her? Ten days can be a very long time...
Hugh Fitzgerald
I don't know.It's hard to choose.
The two-day package seems like a bargain, only twice what you'd have to pay for five-hours, and only $25 more than one day would cost. Of course the biggest bargain of all, if we are thinking only in coarse pro rata terms, is the 4-10 day Mutah, but that's a long time, then you're practically committed, and what if, after a day or two, things just don't work out, and you've gone and already plunked down 300,000 tomans.
No, all in all, the price-point for me, and all others similarly thrifty and unwilling to commit, is that two-day package.
What about you?
Indeed, if your temporary marriage is failing and you're too honest to pretend and too moral to live a lie, can you cut it short and get your money back?
Also, will it be cheating (or undermine the institution of marriage) if while being married to a temporary wife you fall in love with another woman and enter into a permanent marriage with her? Ten days can be a very long time...
In The Name Of The Holy State: Is there not even one - ONE - comrade who can line up Comrade Polanski with a nubile preteen female? After all, 13-year-olds are Just So Passe Now. Under our new enlightened Leadership, such persons do not even fall into the Revanchist category of "jail-bait"...
Comrade Unkulturny
In The Name Of The Holy State: Is there not even one - ONE - comrade who can line up Comrade Polanski with a nubile preteen female? After all, 13-year-olds are Just So Passe Now. Under our new enlightened Leadership, such persons do not even fall into the Revanchist category of "jail-bait"...Only when making whoopie is not "rape rape".
Ohhh you will soon get yours Mr Red Square Smarty Pants! I shall come for you with both fists clinched in rage! But first, I must make pilgrimage to Iran to see an Imam.. then.. look out, you will!
I don't think that's really Islamic Rage Boy... he looks a little flat to me, like it's someone pretending to be him and using one of Big Red's cardboard cutouts... I wonder who it could be... hmmm... maybe we should ask Flat Fatima (anyone seen her, or has she turned sideways again?)...
Sister Massively Opiated... just kind sorta daydreaming a little until they get my meds regulated...
ps... I think Pinkie looks great as a Red Ninja! I wanna be a Red Ninja too!... but ninjas don't leave puddles... :(
... also... I didn't see rimshots up on that price list... oooOOoooh! Gotta go and water the garden - it's 4:50 a.m. and the stoner who lives below me on the 7th floor is smoking his morning doobee, and it always freaks him out and makes him really paranoid when water starts coming out of nowhere... heheheh... I'm so mean...
Sister Massively Opiated... just kind sorta daydreaming a little until they get my meds regulated...
ps... I think Pinkie looks great as a Red Ninja! I wanna be a Red Ninja too!... but ninjas don't leave puddles... :(
... also... I didn't see rimshots up on that price list... oooOOoooh! Gotta go and water the garden - it's 4:50 a.m. and the stoner who lives below me on the 7th floor is smoking his morning doobee, and it always freaks him out and makes him really paranoid when water starts coming out of nowhere... heheheh... I'm so mean...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38612000/ns/us_news-the_new_york_times
A two-minute study of the above passage by Commissarka Pinkie concluded the following:
The more mosques we build, the less terrorism and fewer bombings we’ll have.
However, to justify the construction of more mosques, it might help to have more Muslims.
To acquire more Muslims, we’ll have to import more of them and/or convert more Americans to Islam.
To convert more Americans, we’ll have to . . . well, I’m sure there’s already a plan in place for that.
Once we are all under Islam, terrorism and violence will simply wither away and become non-existent.
And then we shall all live together in a peaceful world of sunshine, lollipops and rainbows!
P.S. They don’t say what kind of extremism they’re countering.
Quote:
A two-year study by a group of academics on American Muslims and terrorism concluded that contemporary mosques are actually a deterrent to the spread of militant Islam and terrorism. The study was conducted by professors with Duke’s Sanford School of Public Policy and the University of North Carolina. It disclosed that many mosque leaders had put significant effort into countering extremism by building youth programs, sponsoring antiviolence forums and scrutinizing teachers and texts.A two-minute study of the above passage by Commissarka Pinkie concluded the following:
The more mosques we build, the less terrorism and fewer bombings we’ll have.
However, to justify the construction of more mosques, it might help to have more Muslims.
To acquire more Muslims, we’ll have to import more of them and/or convert more Americans to Islam.
To convert more Americans, we’ll have to . . . well, I’m sure there’s already a plan in place for that.
Once we are all under Islam, terrorism and violence will simply wither away and become non-existent.
And then we shall all live together in a peaceful world of sunshine, lollipops and rainbows!
P.S. They don’t say what kind of extremism they’re countering.
I have just had a brainstorm. Trust me folks, if anybody here knows what that feels like, it is me.
Item: If we all convert to Islam, we will be able to have peace and a piece at low cost.
Item: The Gulag Girls having received their recent makeovers are looking exceptionally fine.
Item: Red Square has recently been revealed as having a massive set of digs complete with lots of giltwork and minature giraffes.
Synthesis: We convert to Islam, declare Red's pad a mosque, and put the Gulag Girls on the "available for marriage" list, then make a freaking fortune.
Item: If we all convert to Islam, we will be able to have peace and a piece at low cost.
Item: The Gulag Girls having received their recent makeovers are looking exceptionally fine.
Item: Red Square has recently been revealed as having a massive set of digs complete with lots of giltwork and minature giraffes.
Synthesis: We convert to Islam, declare Red's pad a mosque, and put the Gulag Girls on the "available for marriage" list, then make a freaking fortune.
Ivan Betinov
I have just had a brainstorm. Trust me folks, if anybody here knows what that feels like, it is me.Item: If we all convert to Islam, we will be able to have peace and a piece at low cost.
Item: The Gulag Girls having received their recent makeovers are looking exceptionally fine.
Item: Red Square has recently been revealed as having a massive set of digs complete with lots of giltwork and minature giraffes.
Synthesis: We convert to Islam, declare Red's pad a mosque, and put the Gulag Girls on the "available for marriage" list, then make a freaking fortune. Sounds a lot like evil kapitalism to me. However, just so we're clear, I get first pick of the girls.
Fasters in the Holy Shrine of Imam Reza
Astan Q. Razavi (Feeder and pimp)
According to the reports issued from Astan Quds Razavi website, Assistant of Sacred Premises and Pilgrims’ Affairs of Astan Quds Razavi reported, “With expansion of feast of Razavi generosity plan in the current year, a crowd of nearly one million fasters will have their breakfast in the Holy Shrine of Imam Reza. On the menu is two eggs (over easy) and bacon fried in pork fat.”
Special guest speaker Adalf Q.
Last bumped by DaveFilms on 8/13/2011, 12:31 pm.
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