Our site has received an angry letter from Poland complaining about the unnecessary complexity of the People's Cube puzzle. "Despite your claim that this 'ultimate egalitarian tool' guarantees equal outcome for all players, after two weeks of strenuous efforts we gave up resolving the puzzle," the letter states, concluding that "something must be fundamentally wrong with the puzzle itself." The letter, signed by Slawomir Sierakowski, editor-in-chief of the Polish "Krytyka Polityczna", organ of the progressive wing of the Communist Party of Poland, indignantly criticizes us for misleading the masses into a "sinister bourgeois trap" of believing in a "competition with a human face."
Below is the full text of the letter from Polish comrades:
|We cure weak liberalism with strong communism!|
| General Jaruzelski pushes boundaries of the progressive theory |
"American capitalists tried to undermine our morale with a puzzle that is too complex for a simple comrade!"
On the cutting edge of societal evolution: Hugo Chavez is testing the Polish People's Cube at the UN.
Setting goals for the masses demands a class watchfulness. To aim toward a bright future one must have a clear understanding of what is possible for a simple comrade and what is not. Remember that anything is possible for comrades as a collective, while a comrade as an individual is incapable of a single meaningful act. Forgetting this simple truth can mislead you into a sinister bourgeois illusion that competition may actually be winnable. And that is the case of your so-called People's Cube.
Still worse - it gives the impression that there are some different ways of finding the solution, some different possibilities of resolving it. Don't you remember, comrades, that there should only be One Way, One Thought, One Idea?
But heads up! We found the solution. After long and exhausting consultations with general Jaruzelski, Adam Michnik and Professor Zygmunt Bauman, we are proud to announce the Polish People's Cube!
The first cubes produced were given to the leaders of the free countries: Eternal Castro of Cuba, Kim Jong Il of Greater Korea, and Chavez the Bolivar of Venezuela. We also distributed it among the leftist leaders in Poland. We are now waiting for who will be the first to resolve the puzzle.
The People's Cube commentary:
Dear Polish comrades! We congratulate you on your scientific achievement. You have advanced the progressive Marxist theory to even further limits. A non-rotating one-segment model is indeed the ultimate phase of the progressive idea, suitable for the final stage of societal evolution when all competition shall wither away along with the notions of state, family, and private property.
But in America where we have the misfortune to reside, your model may appear too radical, which may alienate some of the moderates. A few decades of proper conditioning and subliminal re-education are required before your version can even be considered for mass distribution. The sad fact is that in this country, in this day and age, some forms of competition still continue to depress the toiling masses. Therefore, our traditional model will better accommodate their perception of reality. We propose a peaceful co-existence of the two models. While your version of the People's Cube is more suitable in the countries of victorious socialism, let our traditional version continue to educate the toiling classes in the non-socialist economic region of dying capitalism. That will allow our respective Parties to set proper goals for the masses most effectively.
From the People's Glossary:
Mr Snuggle BunnyOnly then will the people be lifted from the burdens of cutting and gluing their own cubes.
Mr Snuggle BunnyOnly then will the people be lifted from the burdens of cutting and gluing their own cubes.
Comrade ClydeOn The People's Dice of Equality, the enemies of the People will always roll boxcars, and those boxcars will take them East to settle the New Lands in Siberia.
Comrade ClydeI am chastened. Where shall I report for re-education, comrade?
Red SquareComrade Cons. Underground sent us this picture with a note saying "Life once again imitates the Cube" and a recommendation to issue a Fatwa against The Looking Spoon.
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