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E-mail itSkools: Insider's View of the Revolution
Written and photographed by Comrade Betty, a bona fide student of that school
 | I am your average revolutionary public skool student who dreams of living in equality with everyone else in Amerika - never worrying about finding a job, or advancing my career, or being fired - just like the French. I owe much of my aspirations to my teachers who have enlightened me and shown me the way to the glorious servitude of communism. The best part of it is that it requires absolutely no thinking. Who needs thinking if the entire universe has already been revealed to me, conveniently sliced and packaged, in my teachers' easy, educational bumper stickers? Memorize them all - and you're ready for adulthood. I even took some pictures to share with you - and also to keep them with me after I leave skool, because if I forget what they said I'll be left without any moral guidance, and that's scary. |
Here is a tool used by our agents to convert the weak-minded into useful idiots. The 'enlightened' among us realize that the true translation of this slogan is 'Seeking the Destruction of America by turning it into a Nation of Hippie Wimps in Order to Easily Militarily Overthrow it, is Patriotic.' That is a little too long to make into a party-approved chant or slogan to fit on a bumper sticker - so the sloppy translation will have to do. This sticker teaches us not to abuse the earth by using its resources to make shelter, or greedily to mooch off the food that nature provides, or, like a vile leech, to suck copious quantities of water from the underwater springs to sustain your life. If those actions are permitted to continue, human life will mutate into one of those giant disgusting leech thingies in that King Kong remake. In fact, their battle with the men trapped in the crevice could be interpreted as the proletariat trapped in a capitalist nightmare, where society eats them alive and sucks the hope and lifeblood out of them - until the savior of the people (Queen Hillary, of course) swings down on a vine held in one hand, and a Kalashnikov in the other, to vanquish the bourgeoisie and to save the weakened and exhausted people from an untimely doom.
This example tells us to ignore the fact that both Greece and Rome fell in result of a competition among societies that could not coexist with each other without the destruction of a nation (and also because of rampant homosexuality that we must pretend never existed). A perfect example of how we will lead Amerika into a state of total conflict in which we will arise and show to the masses that we are the guiding light and their only hope to survive. Yes, celebrate your diversity and individuality by saying you want to be treated equally - then go around snubbing your nose at the unenlightened and curse the infidels. Tattoo a pentagram on your forehead and sue for discrimination because you can't get hired, and complain that people act funny when they're around you. Little do most people know that homophobia is the leading cause of deaths, homicides, suicides, run-away-icides, baldness, and prostate cancer in the U.S. and... um... only the U.S. because Americans are biased, sexist, racist, and greedy people who refuse to be subjugated. Over 100 Bajillion deaths are caused each year because of homophobia. This must be stopped! * * * * The next several pictures come from my new 'survey' English class in which I am properly given the 'C' I deserve for being in a class that teaches the language and literature of the capitalist oppressors who wrote some of the world's most boring books ever. Here we have a prime example how our agents in skools and in the media have twisted one man's tragedy and attempt to raise awareness of the sacrifices soldiers are making for people they don't even know, into an anti-war propaganda device. I applaud your deception and altercation of the truth to the benefit of the Party! Here is a photo of a capitalist extortion unit (that's dollar to the uninformed) that has been correctly altered to show the denial of the liberal Amerikan to face reality - and thus to set a proper example for the rest of us. However, I do not recognize the other face in the picture nose to nose with the Great Satan of America (oh wait, that's Bush, never mind). The only thing I see wrong with this excellent piece of propaganda is the evil capitalist website billionairesforbush.com - the sworn enemy of the mothersite (communistsforkerry.com) on the left side of the portrait (he he... left side). Yes, the day this capitalist country can no longer defend itself will be a great day! It will be the day of the Revolution. Immediately afterwards, a perfect utopia will ensue. Ah yes, the artistic collage of peace signs is an inspiration to any student. It tells us that putting a flower down the barrel of a gun will prevent the resulting hole-in-head creation. If everyone just said 'peace', then the world would be a happy place with no differences - because the one side that didn't say 'peace' would kick the asses of all the other sides and force them to think their way. A good plan - there is a lesson to be learned! Notice the Doonsbury cartoon and picture off to the side that says 'There is no way to Peace. Peace is the way'. Don't be confused by the mixed messages, one saying to celebrate diversity and another saying to conform to hippiedom. These I'm pretty sure are from a prominent San Francisco newspaper (Das Khommikal) known for its Party-approved truths found in every edition, along with constant Bush-bashing, anti-Iraq-war sentiments and the strange smell of marijuana smoke on each page... I have no idea what this means, or why the people in the cartoon don't toss that annoying guy overboard. I think he might be a journalist, or a hard-core member of the ACLU (true hero of the revolution). Here is another collage that would make hippies across California shriek with joy - a collection of updates of the deaths in Iraq. This teacher displays it the same way the artist made the Vietnam War Memorial... a message that is supposed to honor soldiers who lost their lives in combat, is warped into an anti-war propaganda device. Once again I am humbled by our indoctrinators' powers of distortion. Here's a full shot of that mass of newspaper clippings - the teacher seems to have an obsession with it. She's also started a project to collect a pair of shoes for each soldier who has died: the obsession is gradually turning into fetish. AAAHHHH!!! Bad vision, BAD VISION!! Must... change... subject... * * * Even though chemistry is an exact science, this teacher believes that Global Warming and the Hole in the Ozone layer are real facts - and not just propaganda devices used to scare the stupid. He has been telling the lie for so long that he has actually believed it. Lenin was right! Aahhh... true ingenuity! The teacher places the propaganda on the desk in front of the class - so when the students get bored with his incompetent droning, their attention will inevitably switch to the sublimimininal... sublimim... subtle messages that slowly eat away at their common sense to the point where they have no strength left to resist. The only ones who seem able to, are the ones that fall asleep during class. This is a quote by one of the so-called Founding Fathers who started this disgusting capitalist nation. A perfect example of how the revolution uses the capitalist heroes against the capitalists when it suits the cause - but degrades them and calls them terrorists (never freedom fighters) the rest of the time. This sticker teaches us that yellow-handed, green-handed, blue-handed, and red-handed people can all live in harmony if we just get taught how to be tolerant of others instead of learning pointless subjects like chemistry or math - and, of course, get rid of white-handed people. Whether this person really is a member of the Sierra Club I am not sure; he could get it from a fellow Revolutionary (teacher) or a Revolutionary in Training (student), or a fellow traveler, but either way this is a fine example of our agents proudly displaying support for an organization that our comrades have successfully infiltrated over the years. Currently the Sierra Club is trying to stop all highway expansion in California, claming that it will create more development and more smog. In reality, this is another secret plot for the Revolution, in which the development will continue - but the highways will constantly stay the same size, gradualy driving the capitalists into a state of insanity as they sit in the middle of rush hour traffic going nowhere. The extra smog produced from the stop-and-go traffic will also give us something to complain about, blame the bourgeoisie for, and scare their kids with Global Warming.
This piece of propaganda is instrumental in appealing to the weak-minded because it has a picture of a cute little polar bear on it. Unknown to many is the fact that just off camera from this picture are several other polar bears feasting on one of the photographers. Items like this are successfully fooling the capitalists into thinking that the Alaskan oil wells are killing helpless animals that only have an area of over half the size of the Midwest to live in. They don't need to know about the oil deposit larger than Texas that could supply the country with oil for several hundred years more. Oh my God! (I mean Hillary, not that one, you capitalist pig!) These things are wepwoducing wike wabbits! Our agitprop manufacturing facilities must be working overtime; the propagandists deserve a raise... I mean, a pat on the back and a hero's medal - just like everyone else gets once a year. Yes, we all know that geniuses who spend their lives coming up with unprovable theories always give the best political advice which should be taken to heart. Eating animals is barbaric and should have never been considered when man all of a sudden changed from a pool of bacterial glop into a being with a will of his own. People should not eat anything that comes from living creatures. I set an example by only eating dirt and pebbles found on the ground - because even plants are alive. The bumper sticker below the 'Be kind to Animals...' is a mis-quote of Comrade Lenin. The Party only kills people to show people that killing people is necessary to obtain the goals of the Party. Obviously, when something is put onto a bumper sticker it instantly becomes truth. Or at least it does in the minds of the unwashed masses who must parade around with these and other fine pieces of propaganda plastered all over the rear end of their party-approved 1965 Volkswagen Hippie Class Buses. There is also a bumper sticker showing that its owner is politically correct by visiting the hippie-inspired artwork of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. More anti-SUV propaganda to convince the ignorant into believing that a vehicle with multiple uses, spacious interiors, and extra large cup holders are bad. Of course this must be spoken as truth because after the Revolution, only distinguished members of the Politburo will be permitted to ride in comfort because of their more-equalness. All others must drive around in electric cars pulled by donkeys when not in range of electrical outlets. If you have a friend, Party member, or associate who allows you to eat meat, you must denounce them to the nearest secret police/ ACLU outpost immediately and sign up for re-education. After all, we can't have people eating a substance that provides the brain with nutrients that increase reason and logic functions in humans. We need to follow the example Hitler set by becoming a vegetarian, landscape painter, and animal rights activist. If it worked so well with him, why not make everyone do that? Here is more advice that we must all live by. This saying comes from someone who is a member of an Indian, I mean, 'Native American' tribe who is far superior to modern man. The sayings of a people who had such a special connection with nature to the point that they burned down entire forests and killed thousands of animals for maybe a week's worth of food, along with running entire herds of buffalo off cliffs, and spent most of their time murdering and raping each other while managing to keep nearly all white men in the dark about it, are what we need to look up to. America needs to change away from oil because we won't let the evil oil companies drill for it in our own country, and we claim that wars against oppressive governments that harbor 'freedom fighters' are just over oil. We must all realize that nothing good - be it peace, security, or freedom - can ever be achieved through war. The only things war ever did was end slavery, bring freedom to an entire nation, free people from oppressive governments, end Nazism, and stop communism on a large scale. Those are all things we are trying to work for to make the revolution happen. It will never take place when people are willing to stand up and defend themselves.
SpiritualProgressives.org must be a very intelligent place for true intellectuals to go and protest capitalism as they hold séances to speak with the Great Lenin whilst sipping lattes. This will change after the Revolution. We will recycle everything imaginable and turn it into energy. The bodies of the deceased 5%, as well as household garbage and more will be liquefied and mixed with a tasteless soy paste to feed the world's other 95%. We will even use the radioactive uranium to feed our mine workers - so that we can cut down on electrical lighting in People's mines since our miners will begin to produce their own green light. * * * And so ends the tour of educational un-brainwashing that is funded by your tax dollars. I leave you all with this image of the hillside across the street from our skool in which a magnificent image has been scarred into the landscape. If you look closely you can see the remains of a swastika on the upper right side that the Skool Board had to call out the SWAT team, HAZMAT team, air force, and several protest groups to remove. The hippie symbol below the year was carved as a reaction to that. For those of you confused over the meaning of the last blob in the series of numbers - it was caused by the non-progressive competition between class years: each year the seniors reconstruct the number with their graduating class year on it, while jealous underclassmen try to change it to their year of graduation. You can also just barely see the remnants of a penis that was dug right before the number two. |
Regrettably though, I do not see any inducements to use public transportation. Surely, the teachers and administrators in such an academy never drive – so why do they hide it?
And I am just as confident that they conserve oil by sharing apartments with other families – but why do they not encourage others to do so?
And no doubt they make extra contributions to the IRS every year to support worthy programs (like public schools) – and yet they do not mention this either!
In fact, they undoubtedly make enormous sacrifices in their personal lives in order to share with those who are less fortunate – but I did not see any mention of them purchasing used underwear, and giving up the luxuries of plumbing and electricity. (Of course, your school has no running water, correct? Water is too valuable a resource to squander.)
My guess is that they are needlessly modest. But their ability to educate is clearly unsurpassable.
I hope you select the very best university; nothing is more important than a good education at a top 1% school.
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"Friends Dont Let Friends Eat Meat" - Very homophobic and anti gay denunciation!Quote:
"You Cannot Prepare for War and Prevent One Simultaneously" - Albert Einstein.It is untrue to believe that any good socialist would agree with this mantra. Had only Komrade Stalin not been blindsided by half brother Hitler, then maybe the great USSR would have been saved from Operation Barbarosa! And of course, how can we forget the great cold struggle with the West! It was our great build up of arms that kept Imperialist America from invading and impregnating the Soviet Union with capitalism and freedom. Thank the godless collective in the sky for our instruments of peace and Vladimir Putin!
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"It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept and celebrate those differences"This statement sounds like a cheap pick up line coming out of some bourgeois tavern. Only good Soviets are permitted to use such angles for hedonistic advance! This statement also flies right in the face of progressive feminism and transgenderism that denounces any male/female differences in behavior and physiology! In fact, I do believe that a modern day Physics class is actually a teaching of this doctrine.
After all, it is a public classroom, which is the equivalent of putting the "truths" on a billboard on the side of the highway for all to see.
PS - Oops! My mistake, I didn't realize you're now Premier Betty. My goodness man but you've done it! You've achieved the highest pinnacles of Party status. You are the American Horatio Alger story. Your teachers must be proud.
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If the Air Force ever has to hold a bake sale they'll probably take in more money than they do from Congress. Damn Commie Pinkos. How about if the schools and the military hold bake sales side by side of each other? I'd like to see that.
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PS - Oops! My mistake, I didn't realize you're now Premier Betty. My goodness man but you've done it! You've achieved the highest pinnacles of Party status. You are the American Horatio Alger story. Your teachers must be proud.My promotion er... "name change" didn't come until shortly after your post was originally submitted. I also thank you for the congratulations, Laika seemed happy to present the "more equal" position to me. I just hope that this doesn't mean more responsibility....
You have already demonstrated your ability to lead the masses to the undeniable truth of the greatness of World Socialism! Your promotion is long overdue! Your new wing-tipped leather shoes are in the mail. Feel free to pound them on the podium whenever you give a speech, especially on the merits of a public skool education!
Did Betty sneek a GW sticker somewhere?
The joyous thing is, youth rebels (they cannot help it), and will grow to oppose this loony emblem of the 'establishment'...
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Did Betty sneek a GW sticker somewhere?Actually shortly after I took all those pictures, I stuck a miniaturized version of the last election map next to that 11-2 dollar bill, but strangely it was missing the next day....
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they said the Soviet Union fell in 1988.Strange, my history teacher said it was in 1989....
The Berlin Wall fell in 1989.
The Soviet Union NEVER FELL!
We are in camouflage.
Shhhhhhh...................
Laika the Space Dog
The Berlin Wall fell in 1989.The Soviet Union NEVER FELL!
We are in camouflage.
Shhhhhhh...................
Yes, the camouflage of the great Christmas counter revolution of December 25th, 1991 put the grand strategy in place to pretend that the cold war didn't happen. "Lets all just get along" so the great Soviet drive can push its way on the American landscape with greater effect than nuclear stalemate. Most people didn't understand that the C.I.S., (Communist Infiltrated States) was a rouge to fool the capitalist imperialists to leave the Soviet Union alone so we can thrive like we are today and poising to rise up in more belligerent ways again, just like the good old days! And this time we'll be ready for America's wars of annihilation!
Laika the Space Dog
The Berlin Wall fell in 1989.The Soviet Union NEVER FELL!
We are in camouflage.
Shhhhhhh...................
True. Unfortunately some of our overzealous comrades are breaking the camouflage rules and leaking the truth out. It was documented by http://www.NewsBusters.org here:
Soviet Communism as Fashion Statement -- Again>>
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On Monday, for the second straight weekday, Access Hollywood's New York correspondent, Tim Vincent, a veteran of the BBC, sported a hammer and sickle T-shirt as he introduced a story.
Comrade Tim Vincent must be disciplined by an iron fist of the revolutionary justice. And stop giggling, this is not what I meant. The gay culture war references are good for the masses, but among ourselves we must refrain from innuendo and jokes in general. What I meant was that Comrade Tim Vincent has a lot of shoveling to do, I just hope he keeps his shovel well-oiled, sharpened, and properly holstered in accordance with the Party manual. But our surveillance video tells us he keeps his proletarian shovel not on the wall next to the oil portrait of Stalin where it belongs - but behind the same dresser where he keeps his Red Army attire, such as the shirt above.
See video here:
http://www.thepeoplescube.com/video/200 ... -NBCAH.wmv
James Taranto in his today's column (see "When 'Sensitivity' Is a One-Way Street") comments on an incident that led to a lawsuit by parents as reported by AP via MSNBC
AP
When a few classmates razzed Rebekah Rice about her Mormon upbringing with questions such as, "Do you have 10 moms?" she shot back: "That's so gay." . . .After Rice got a warning and a notation in her file, her parents sued, claiming officials at Santa Rosa's Maria Carillo [sic] High violated their daughter's First Amendment rights when they disciplined her for uttering a phrase "which enjoys widespread currency in youth culture," according to court documents.
I am a bit in the dark about your present training. I do hope you are living off OPM right now, as there is no better time in one's life to live on OPM and not be forced to actually produce anything of value than when you are young. Be that as it may, not all are so fortunate, so if that is not so, I hope you are at least in an institution that will further refine your already impressive socialist credentials. Ah, the best time of the Pup's life.... living on OPM, honoring nature by worship of certain plants, mushrooms, and man made "vision" enhancers, going to listen to experts in advanced party doctrine, chasing the elusive comrade of opposite yet equal gender persuasion... etc. Ah, those were the daze....
Super Pup
It did sadden me somewhat though, the lack of originality of so many of those stickers. My Lenin, most of them were done back in the 60's.Well, if you saw all the teachers, you could quite easily see them at Woodstock with every type of drug in their system. As we all know, aging hippies make the best teachers.
Super Pup also
I am a bit in the dark about your present training. I do hope you are living off OPM right now, as there is no better time in one's life to live on OPM and not be forced to actually produce anything of value than when you are young.My current training, unfortunately, lacks the decorations and blatantly progressive attitudes of high skool. I am missing the daily rants about the EBA and constant hints/ subliminal messaging telling us to attend peace rallies, and support the Demokrat Klub. Also, my requests for financial assistance in my never-ending quest to do nothing has failed because of my Half-Life addiction.
I am currently being given subtle hints to get a <shudder> job. All my efforts have failed so far. I hope the revolution hurries up.
I must say, I was amazed at the degree of brainwashing allowed in that school. Is it really any wonder there are so many "anti war" people or otherwise dead from the neck up people when they are exposed to such tripe on a daily basis? I dare say that despite all those stickers about celebrating diversity, there were no displays even remotely suggesting a faith in God, or suggesting that perhaps some of these other "movements" are in error? That was religion being foisted on you even if they don't call it that. I knew there was a lot of crap being taught in schools. but I was simply shocked by those pictures. At least when I was in college, that sort of stuff was basically kept to "Free Speech Alley" where everyone was free to express their views.
I'm going to try to avoid getting loans at all costs. I don't want to end up with a ton of $$$ to owe back when I graduate. I've been thinking of getting a degree in video game design, or engineering. But I also want to get a business degree to fall back on just in case.
All the hippie activists in college and high school back in the 60's are just trying to re-live their greatest years by becoming teachers and getting as many students to join them as possible. There is a Christian Club at the school, but there are no religious posters or anything like that. Not even a cross. However, my homeroom teacher (another hippie) did put up a paper cut-out cross on one of her windows. She even admitted to the class one day that she could get into trouble if the administration found out.
I too did tend to be like your hippie activists.. in the sense I had decided I wanted to stay in college forever. I studied psychology, not because I had this burning desire to help people. No, I was into the behaviorist school, and also liked my physiological psychology. Thought I might go for a PhD with the idea of staying in school to fill other's heads. But alas, one summer after finishing all my course classes for my Masters, I went home for the summer to make a little money and take a break, and ended up getting hired by Exxon Research and Development Labs... which you would know if you read my Pup's history link I provided.... But don't follow my example... run, flee, hide from it! Otherwise you could end up well.... like the Pup.
Most video game companies want college degrees in using those programs so they can make games like these:
http://www.gametrailers.com/player/21504.html
(That's all actual gameplay, not a pre-rendered cut scene)
The problem with computer technology is that every year a newer and better version comes out and you have to go back to school to learn all the new stuff they have. I don't think I will be able to get hired for work with Auto CAD until I finally get into a class that teaches the new 3D rendering in the 2007 version, but last time the class got cancelled and now I'm going to have to keep signing up until it stops getting cancelled.
Video game designer, engineering, business. I know, this is a headache, they hand you a list and say here, these are the degrees that are out there, now what do you want to do for the rest of your life? Its like, how the heck am I supposed to know until I do it?!
Great job on the school, even though I am over a year late with this. It nice to see that the schools are teaching kids the proper education. Of course, with this new bill that the Terminator signed (they really did send one! they did! Arnold the actor is a deadly robot from the future! Based on Arnold the actor!) the schools are becoming even more progressive. I bet you are glad to be out of there.
What I meant was now and then, when I actually see those "porn ads," I would often see Must know Auto Cad, so I figured if you know how to auto cad, you could whore for them... LOL
Visual Studio, that is what I think my *cough* job... er... whoring needs, I am but an amateur... creating Access databases and some fairly cool Excel files. But a lot of the people where I work do not have Access, so I really would like to make programs so they can use my databases even when they do not have Access on their computer.
Nobel Prize-winning group Doctors Without Borders can cure a child half-dead from capitalism in just three weeks time with Plumpynut. So Plump on because its For the Children™
Plus I just like saying Plumpynut......
RedtheProgressiveFox
Great job on the school, even though I am over a year late with this.
Thanks, and don't worry about it, time is irrelevant.
RedtheProgressiveFox
I bet you are glad to be out of there.
Oh, yeah.
Pup
I just don't really see the allure of those games... lost interest after Leisure Suit Larry here... LOL, and I never got to the modern versions. That game you showed looked like they were riding some sort of rocket powered window cleaner scaffold.
Yeah, after a while the new games that come out just seem to be re-hashes of old games, but with newer graphics. I don't really recommend Leisure Suit Larry, unless you are really desperate, like the people who play"Sexy Beach 2" and stuff. and the scaffolding thingy they were riding was kind of weird looking, but, hey, if it works....
And if that game doesn't interest you, well, there are always others.
LoneRedStar
This is an emergency we must distribute the Plumpynut. Because all progressive thinking folks know:Nobel Prize-winning group Doctors Without Borders can cure a child half-dead from capitalism in just three weeks time with Plumpynut. So Plump on because its For the Children™
Plus I just like saying Plumpynut......
I'd love to stand up in the middle of a crowded theater, point my finger toward nothing in particular, and shout, "PLUMPYNUT!" just to see what happens, but before I do, could you tell me what it means?
Strictly for my legal defense, you understand.
Pinkie
could you tell me what it means?I was wondering the same thing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plumpy'nut
and it is fun to say.
Funny words, you know, like Plumpynut . . . Sinkbean . . . Jabberwocky . . . Hillcare.
Actually, I sort of resembled the British in that old classic song, sort of resembled? Oh, you would not believe how fast a bull can cover the distance or how one can ignore the fact they are being ate up with briars on their desperation to escape.
Yeah they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles
And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go.
They ran so fast that the hounds couldn't catch 'em
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
It is a high protein and high energy peanut-based paste in a foil wrapper that can be distributed to children at home rather than in specialist feeding stations and can be eaten without any preparation. It tastes like a slightly sweeter kind of peanut butter. It is categorized by the WHO [ I never knew Roger Daltry likes peanut butter] as a Ready-to-Use Therapeutic Food (RUTF) For the Children™ .
The funny part was that it was recently featured in a feel good spot on one of the major news networks with the claim that "With this Plumpynut! we can save all the worlds hunger and starvation in 3 weeks" Rather ambitious I'd say. Basically isa peanut butter paste sweetened with milk powder and vitamins..
I still like the faces made when I interject it into a sentence..... Kinda like Jaberwocky. I would love to see the looks if you shouted it in a theater......
LoneRedStar
The funny part was that it was recently featured in a feel good spot on one of the major news networks with the claim that "With this Plumpynut! we can save all the worlds hunger and starvation in 3 weeks" Rather ambitious I'd say.And what's so funny and ambitious about that, dear sir? Don't you remember the 2004 Presidential campaign? Had our then-candidate been elected, paraplegics would've stood up and walked and boogied!
:P
Commissar Pupovich
Visual Studio, that is what I think my *cough* job... er... whoring needs, I am but an amateur... creating Access databases and some fairly cool Excel files. But a lot of the people where I work do not have Access, so I really would like to make programs so they can use my databases even when they do not have Access on their computer.Do not feel bad here Commissar, I do not know much about it either. I know how to start a new application on it, and do a few things, but that is about it. I was able to obtain the software through an edukation program and got it for pennies on the dollar. What I needed was actually just Microsoft Visio, but there were several other things that could be ordered as well. I remember seeing Visual Studio for sale for several hundred dollars before, and I already had a book on it, so I got it along with a copy of Windows XP Professional.
I use the Visual Studio for practice for programming. I do not know much, and it has been that way for a long time. I usually get to the point where they show you how to make the computer count or put a message up on the screen, and that is about it. Although, my current book has gotten me to the point where they show you how to build a program with the buttons and all that stuff, but I do not know the workings behind it. I made a little program that displays a bunch of 1s and 0s when you open it. It can scare the heck out of a computer newbie. It is not much, but I am proud of it.
You might want to look into that Betty. Some schools will let you get the software for a fraction of the cost, some will have limitations, others will just take you at your word that you are only going to use it for personal and edukation purposes (or you could just change your last name to Gonzales).
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Thanks, and don't worry about it, time is irrelevant.Except when it comes to 5 year plans. :)
LoneRedStar
It is a high protein and high energy peanut-based paste in a foil wrapperRight off the bat it sounded like peanut butter wrapped in tin foil. Peanut-butter, it was invented by a dentist, I think, that used it for a high-protein substance for his patients that could not chew with their teeth (or did not have teeth). So, yea, it looks kind of like Al Gore, plugs 2 computers together and claims that he invented the internet (although, he did not even go to that much trouble).
Tell you a scary one... I actually wrote one code that allowed a variable square of option buttons to display. For example, say you have one "test" or "training" that has 10 steps and 5 possible answers for each step, the form will show a display of 10x5 option buttons to check. It can cover from a 1 step by 2 answers, up to 12 steps by 8 answers and show the appropriate grid, in addition to providing a box to enter duration if appropriate. I was so proud when that finally worked!
I think you can see this, even not being a member, by going to this link:
http://forums.delphiforums.com/infinite ... msg=5055.5
Heeeheee... and thiese are a few codes I made for an Excel file to predict a final score for LSU vs Alabama (or whatever LSU's victim's name) based on ratings in several football areas.
=IF((AZ1=0),"",IF(AZ1<15,3,IF(AZ1<30,6,IF(AZ1<50,7,IF(AZ1<65,9,*CUBE BREAK*
IF(AZ1<75,14,IF(AZ1<80,17,IF(AZ1<85,"Now you're just lying!",""))))))))
=IF((AZ1+BA1)=0,"",IF(BA1<15,23,IF(BA1<30,27,IF(BA1<50,34,*CUBE BREAK*
IF(BA1<65,42,IF(BA1<75,49,IF(BA1<80,52,IF(BA1<10000,72,""))))))))
Commissar Pupovich
You know you can "practice" some programming even in Word, or Excel for instance as they also use VBA to a point?Heck, did not know that. Ugh! I remember even just a few months ago, I thought I was all that with computers. I was always helping everyone and everyone says "Commissar! You are so smart". I knew at first not to believe them, but as time went on, I believed them more. I never got to the point where I though I knew everything, but I thought I knew a lot, and then I started studying for my A+ Certification. Ha! There is an eye opener. I keep getting more and more new (or forgotten) information thrown at me, so much for my ego. It looks as if I do not know what I thought I did.
Looked at your program, clever Commissar Pup. I do not understand a lot of the code because I have only been exposed to the C class of programming, but I can see enough to see that it is what you say it is, and like the "VB gods" part. That is what I like about programming, as long as you are not working on a project with a company or other people, you can personalize it. I mean, come on, Error #----- is so boring. I like that you spruced it up.
What I would like to eventually get into is programming handled PCs. These things are already useful, but I would like to make them more so, given them kind of a personalty. I am not saying AI, I could not even being to comprehend how such a system would work. It would take too many years, but I have made a couple of programs in the past that would give you a response if you told it “hi” (which was nothing more than telling the computer to show a message on the screen). I have seen the little handheld "buddies" time and time again, and wanted one. One in particualr comes to mind, but such a device has holographic technology, do not think I am there yet (nor maybe ever will be, but OLED looks as a promising alternative). On top of that, I would also like to program and build <gasp> robots <as Commissar of such, you wouldn't be that surprised, would you>. When I was a kid, I used to imagine of building my own robotic empire, lol, guess I have had my mind in Sci-Fi la-la land for too long now.
As far as programming in Excel, there shows even more of my ignorance. I did not know that Excel went that deep. I have only used Excel a few times (and never have even touched Access).
(btw, looks as if someone gets into denial sometimes when it comes to his prediction program on the football).
Hee hee... if you liked that error message, check out the one I did for my restraint database:
Private Sub Form_Error(DataErr As Integer, Response As Integer)
Select Case DataErr
Case 3022
Response = acDataErrContinue
MsgBox "You have caused unneeded wear and tear on your fingers by trying to enter" & vbNewLine & _
"a support record for this person for the same day and time as one already entered." & vbNewLine & _
"You can try, but the guardian of the gates will only laugh and not allow entry!" & vbNewLine & _
"To prove his point, he will now close the gates and you will have to try again."
Case 3317
MsgBox "You have really made the database mad by trying to enter a date greater than today!", vbApplicationModal
Response = acDataErrContinue
DoCmd.Close
Exit Sub
Case 3314
MsgBox "A required field such as time in, time out, restraint type etc. is not allowed to be empty."
Response = acDataErrContinue
DoCmd.Close
Case Else
DoCmd.Close
End Select
End Sub
That Excel forumla only looks complicated, it really is not. This is the shortened code for the "losers."
The basic If statement in Excel is If(x is true, then do y, else do z)
So this: IF(AZ1<75,14,IF(AZ1<80,17,IF(AZ1<85,"Now you're just lying!",""
Would read: Check the value in cell AZ1 (which is where I summed a row of about 5 football variables rating such as defense etc), if AZ is <75 then print 14. If not, then If AZ1 is greater than or equal to 75 but less than 85, print 17, but if AZ1 is equal to or greater than 80 then print "Now you're just lying!"
Access uses a similar statement, only it is Iif which also basically is an If then statement. In fact, both are used in VBA or Access queries for example.
Iif(VariableA>80,"True","False")
is the same as
If VariableA > 80 Then
MsgBox "True"
Else
MsgBox "False"
End If
One thing I have enjoyed about this is that now I sort of understand the buttons you see here and what they do, or why drop down boxes work etc.
Now I am yet to understand why everywhere constantly makes you repeat your email address to make sure you did it right. That really PO's me!
Oh, and by the way, most people have no idea what Excel is capable of. Too many people use it as a word processor or at best a simple calculator. Check out Pivot charts and tables in Excel... they essentially turn Excel into a database.
Open a blank document. Go to "Tools" in your toolbar, and then choose Macro. In that drop down list you will see Visual Basic Editor. Click on that and you will see familiar sort of set up. Choose Insert from the toolbar and you will even see User Form option there, and when you pick that, you will see the familiar palate of buttons, text box etc, show up there.
(It is 2003 with me too. Microsoft will have to drag me, kicking and screaming to the new office suite. As with Windows Vista, the new office suite, they changed too much, I do not like it.)
Commissar Pupovich
Hee hee... if you liked that error message, check out the one I did for my restraint database:
Private Sub Form_Error(DataErr As Integer, Response As Integer)
Select Case DataErr
Case 3022
Response = acDataErrContinue
MsgBox "You have caused unneeded wear and tear on your fingers by trying to enter" & vbNewLine & _
"a support record for this person for the same day and time as one already entered." & vbNewLine & _
"You can try, but the guardian of the gates will only laugh and not allow entry!" & vbNewLine & _
"To prove his point, he will now close the gates and you will have to try again."
Case 3317
MsgBox "You have really made the database mad by trying to enter a date greater than today!", vbApplicationModal
Response = acDataErrContinue
DoCmd.Close
Exit Sub
Case 3314
MsgBox "A required field such as time in, time out, restraint type etc. is not allowed to be empty."
Response = acDataErrContinue
DoCmd.Close
Case Else
DoCmd.Close
End Select
End Sub
LOL! You are right, I do like those error messages.
Quote:
So this: IF(AZ1<75,14,IF(AZ1<80,17,IF(AZ1<85,"Now you're just lying!",""I see now what your are meaning with it. I thought that it might be a really weird looking "if" statement, but I was not sure.
Quote:
I am by no means an expert, have never had even one class on these programs. Taught myself mostly from Google and some books. You can almost always find the code you need, or something to get you close to it, on the web for free.<appaulse> I am a big fan of do-it-yourself. I started out in computers when my grandparents gave me one. I learned quickly and blew everyone else away. As long as it is not too expensive, I will tear it apart and look at it (software, hardware, whateverware). I have learned all that I know by myself. This A+ Certifaction is the first "formal" education that I have had with computers.
Quote:
Oh, and by the way, most people have no idea what Excel is capable of. Too many people use it as a word processor or at best a simple calculator. Check out Pivot charts and tables in Excel... they essentially turn Excel into a database.I will have to add Excel to my list of things to learn. I get so mad becuse there is so much to learn and so little time. There is always something else (of course, part of the problem is that I am interested in about everything).
Quote:
One thing I have enjoyed about this is that now I sort of understand the buttons you see here and what they do, or why drop down boxes work etc.Now I am yet to understand why everywhere constantly makes you repeat your email address to make sure you did it right. That really PO's me!
I think that is so they are sure that they have the right email adrress (this gets on my nerves as well).
I remember there is an Easter Egg in Microsoft word, if you type something in (I forget what it is) it ends up typing "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog", like, a million times.
(lol, do not worry Betty, you are not the only one that does not understand my wording, logic, or reasoning. I like to think that it is because I am so smart, but I do not think that isreally it)
Premier Betty
...I remember there is an Easter Egg in Microsoft word, if you type something in (I forget what it is) it ends up typing "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog", like, a million times.Not an Easter Egg, Premier, a Feature (sort of like the random lockups and corrupted documents). The feature you speak of is the RAND command, provided for filling an area with random text - say for a template, so you don't have to type in a bunch of nonsense yourself. Basically a time saving feature. Though I prefer Lorem Ipsum myself - it looks more naturalistic.
Open up a new Word document. Then type in =RAND(5,10). You will see the sentence: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. It should have ten of those sentences in each paragraph, and there should be five paragraphs. So the (5,10) could be any two numbers you want.
Also viable in Excel. If you type =RAND () in a cell it generates random numbers between 1 and 0. If you type =RAND ()*100 it generates random numbers from 1 to hundred. You can then use the fill handle on the lower right hand corner of the cell to fill up as many cells as needed.
I have used Microsoft Word quite extensively, so if you need any tips, give me a shout.
Long Live The Party's Computers.
-Mikhail
Oh, P.S.: Always remember that Word is Styles driven. Set up all the Styles you'll need for the document, and then write it out. Do a Google search about "Microsoft Word Styles" and get an idea about what I'm talking about, then ask any questions you have about setting it up - I'll be glad to 'splain anything you need. It's kinda confusing at first, but your documents will be more stable, and easier to write if you set it up that way.
-AK47
Or maybe our discussion can be considered scholastic?
-Mikhail
However, a postwhore denotes someone interested in rank, someone who struggles to compete. As we know, competition is anathema to progressive socialism and one that engages in such behavior must be smacked down immediately with prejudice. I can assure you comrade, I have no interest in rank or in competition to be tops. In fact, I was shocked to discover there even was a count of such information, and to discover that Premier Betty was #1. Now surely you are not going to infer that Premier Betty is a postwhore?
Mikhail T. Kalashnikov
Boy, did we hijack this thread totally with our comp/prog talk, or what?Or maybe our discussion can be considered scholastic?
-Mikhail
I deem this as scholastic discussion... you would agree Da?
Besides, what's wrong with a little hijacking among friends?
LoneRedStar
I must now DENOUNCE both Comdare Pupovich and Comrade Redtheprogressive fox as being postwhores......Ah, perhaps it's time we pull out some special code written just for you comrade....
Private Sub PurgeRecord_AfterUpdate()
' Find the record that matches the control.
Dim rs As Object
Set rs = Me.Recordset.Clone
rs.FindFirst "[LoneRedStar] = " & Str(Nz(Me![PurgeRecord], 0))
If Not rs.EOF Then Me.Bookmark = rs.Bookmark
DoCmd.DoMenuItem acFormBar, acEditMenu, 8, , acMenuVer70
DoCmd.DoMenuItem acFormBar, acEditMenu, 6, , acMenuVer70
DoCmd.DeleteRecord
MsgBox "Comrade LoneRedStar is Purged"
Me.BillingRecord
DoCmd.Find "LoneRedStar"
Dim CostBullet, Kopek As Currency
CostBullet = CostBullet + ([CostBullet]*0.25)
Debug.Print CostBullet
If CostBullet <= 50 Kopek Then
DoCmd.SendBill "non-person family"
Else
DoCmd.SendBill "non-person collective"
End If
End Sub
The Accusatory Pup
In fact, I was shocked to discover there even was a count of such information, and to discover that Premier Betty was #1. Now surely you are not going to infer that Premier Betty is a postwhore?It’s not my fault! It's Bush's! Just because I have been here since the second or third day the Cube started and posted on every single forum, topic, and thingy there is doesn't mean that I'm a postwhore!!!
Commissar Pupovich
I deem this as scholastic discussion... you would agree Da?Besides, what's wrong with a little hijacking among friends?
Scholastic indeed, of course. I just didn't want to detract from the main thrust of the original article is all.
And surely there is nothing wrong with hijacking among friends if it promotes the Greater Good™. Just ask the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine. They did a phenomenal job at the Dawson's Field hijackings (September 6, 1970).
Long Live The Party.
-Mikhail
Premier Betty
The Accusatory Pup
In fact, I was shocked to discover there even was a count of such information, and to discover that Premier Betty was #1. Now surely you are not going to infer that Premier Betty is a postwhore?It’s not my fault! It's Bush's! Just because I have been here since the second or third day the Cube started and posted on every single forum, topic, and thingy there is doesn't mean that I'm a postwhore!!!
Premier! I am shook to my very paws! Shoot indeed! For as is clear, I was by no means accusing you of any competition. Nay, I was trying to defend you for I know that you and I are merely active party members doing our best to bring about the glorious revolution. I agree completely with you other than you mistakenly thinking I was accusing you.
Betty, it is ok, we know that you are a loyal party member. You still hold the highest number of posts than anyone, but watch out, for if we did compete, I should say that the Pup is coming after your title.
<throws smoke bomb on the floor and runs out in the ensuing confusion>
Commissar Pupovich
LoneRedStar
I must now DENOUNCE both Comdare Pupovich and Comrade Redtheprogressive fox as being postwhores......Ah, perhaps it's time we pull out some special code written just for you comrade....
Private Sub PurgeRecord_AfterUpdate()
' Find the record that matches the control.
Dim rs As Object
Set rs = Me.Recordset.Clone
rs.FindFirst "[LoneRedStar] = " & Str(Nz(Me![PurgeRecord], 0))
If Not rs.EOF Then Me.Bookmark = rs.Bookmark
DoCmd.DoMenuItem acFormBar, acEditMenu, 8, , acMenuVer70
DoCmd.DoMenuItem acFormBar, acEditMenu, 6, , acMenuVer70
DoCmd.DeleteRecord
MsgBox "Comrade LoneRedStar is Purged"
Me.BillingRecord
DoCmd.Find "LoneRedStar"
Dim CostBullet, Kopek As Currency
CostBullet = CostBullet + ([CostBullet]*0.25)
Debug.Print CostBullet
If CostBullet <= 50 Kopek Then
DoCmd.SendBill "non-person family"
Else
DoCmd.SendBill "non-person collective"
End If
End Sub
Dear algore, now I know I'm a geek when Ive been purged in VB. Well done Comrade Pup. I glory in your coding expertise. I pass this on:
Resistance is futile
(if f<1ohm)
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