Oppressed workers, peasants, and unwashed toiling intelligentsia! One year ago today the People's Cube rapidly rose over the virtual horizon like the red sun of the revolution, dispelling the right-wing darkness of the blogosphere. Report to your local Kommissar for instructions about proper celebratory procedures. Join a mandatory spontaneous festival in your designated area. You will be given a Party-approved placard and a handful of rocks to hurl at occasional remnants of the bourgeoisie. Consumption of People's Cube sugar beet vodka is optional.
Our first agitprop material was posted one year ago today, on the International Workers' Fools Day. It is a glorious Party tradition, to coincide launches with important People's Calendar Dates. The Chernobyl reactor blew up precisely because the Party apparatchiks in Kiev had ordered the nuclear scientists to speed up their tests and be finished by May Day (the International Workers' Solidarity Day), so that they could submit a glowing report to the Kremlin about launching a new reactor. And it has been glowing ever since.
Following another notable Party tradition we have prepared detailed statistics so as better to propagandize our incredible success in building socialism, fighting class enemy, re-educating the masses, and overcoming deficiencies of the dark bourgeois past.
Great achievement comes with great sacrifice. Many of our former colleagues have perished in monthly purges. Five staff writers were collectively executed for missing deadlines. Seventeen proofreaders got demoted to shoveling permafrost in the tundra for relying on automatic spellcheckers and thus dropping revolutionary vigilance. Twenty six freelance contributors and their families were sent to hard labor camps for glaring lack of discipline. Thirty programmers were handcuffed to the radiator for a month and had their property confiscated for allowing pornographic spam to be posted in Lenin's Nook. Sixty seven typists developed hernias, and the Chief Accountant was urged to take a self-criticism session using his own firearm in result of insubordination (talking back). We're not mentioning cases of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, dismemberment, miscarriages, and frostbites. Who's counting? No one has complained yet, and the reading masses responded to our sacrifice with loyalty and discipline, contributing to over thirty million hits a day.
Remember, comrades - despite all setbacks and capitalist conspiracies, socialist watches have been and will always be the fastest watches in the world!
Keep the Cube rolling!
Marx predicted all of this happening.
Do you think it would be possible to get government funding for publication of pocket-sized Peoples Cube textbooks? Although my university has no problem obtaining other textbooks with like-minded material, I think that my students should have primary sources with them at all times.
Professor Peter A. Kurgman, PhD, PhD, PhD
Well I must get back to work, Hillary's orders. I have one month to come up with the annual May Day Address to The Toiling Masses.
So knock back a couple of Stolis for this old Space Dog, Hillary is giving me the socialist eye. (I'll try and sneak out a little later when Maureen and Janet come over. She usually gets looped and distracted when they're here...I'll join you later)
Although conducting the most important operations of bourgeois re-education and thought control of the proletariat for only one year, The P’sC continues the century-long Evolutionary Revolutionary Movement to equalize all.
The P’sC accomplishes this at the direction of the Main Organ of the Central Agitprop Directorate (a.k.a. Comrade R. Square), and by maximization of Pple’s Inventor’s greatest inventions: the ComIntern Net, Gulag.com, and the History Revision and News Story Concoction Machine, in order to centrally control, manipulate, and revise all subversive counter-PC information. The P’sC then disseminates all proper and approved information around the globe (at speeds faster than Hero-Dog and Comrade Laika’s LEO (Low Earth Orbit) Canine Cosmos Module (except to the capitalist-running-lap-dogs’ and faux communist economy a.k.a. – Pple’s Republik of China)) to effect appropriate PC behavior of the global proletariat-mass and future village people in every activity leading to the greater good.
In just one year - these efforts have convinced other Pple’s C’s movements - the Global Jihad-Es, the Eurabian Socialist-Dhimmi Movement, La Race, and Brokeback Cowboys – to ally themselves with the our Great Pple’s C and Leader of our USSA – in effort to ensure that all proletariat unite to destroy the Bushler-Rove-Cheney-Rush combine of counter revolutionary capitalists, to create total equality by eliminating all manifestations of individualism and to establish the Progressive Global Dry-Toilete Electrified Pol Pot Approved Village under centralized democratic dictatorship of the proletariat!!!
Glory to The P’sC!!!
Glory to the Pple’s Leader (in 2008)!
Glory to the Progressive Dry-Toilete Pol Pot Approved Electrified Global Village!!!
Thank you, Comrade Otis and other Comrades, the Party and the Politbureau, Comrades of Armed Organs, Young Pioneer Organizations, Komsomol, Society for Sport and Technology, Society for Advancement of Secondary Sexual Characteristics, and other groups and collectives of our great Socialist Amerikan Motherland, for this great honor!
Weeping with pride and joy,
Humble Propagandist of the Great Party,
The Common Good was never in better hands...
Comrade KERRY must be very pleased...
break out the cigars !
If it were'nt for the Cube, I would still be making a six figure salary,driving a Benz to my corner office every morning and coming home to make passionate love to my swim-suit model trophy wife. But the Cube showed me the light, and I gave up all those awful and evil things. I now work twenty hours a day sorting through endless amounts of Party paper work and files getting paid nothing but meaningless awards and promotions. I am alone now and have nothing to call my own except my undying love for Comrade Hillary and the Party and even that does not belong to me. I now know the meaning of true miser- uhh I mean happiness. Thank-you for opening my eyes.....
PRAISE THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE MOST PROGRESSIVE BEACON OF LIGHT AND TRUTH IN THE WORLD, OUR GLORIOUS PEOPLES CUBE, MAY THE LIGHT CONTINUE TO SHINE ON US ALL FOREVER!!!
Che BaabaabooieCOMRADES!!! WE HAVE COMPETITION!!!!!!!!!!!
Indeed, this is competition - but it's what in the Motherland was called "Socialist competition" - which means we are not going to eat each other like the capitalist entities, doggy-style - and do hostile takeovers or any other grassy knoll stuff. We have loved this book ever since it was recommended to us by http://dicklist.blogspot.com/.
In this book, children learn important facts of life:
- Adults are also like children - weak, silly, and irresponsible - and therefore they must be spoiled, spoon-fed, and protected from evil elephants by the nanny state - from cradle to grave!
- All you need to know while entering adulthood is that life is a big kindergarten, where wise and caring squirrels will take care of all your little needs as long as you keep electing them!
- EVERYBODY must vote Democrat if they want to eat, go to school, and generally stay alive - especially if you grow up to be a homeless person. Hey, it's OK, we're not judging anybody!
- So what if with life lessons like this you will most likely become a homeless person when you grow up? Being homeless is no worse than having a job - as long as the country is run by the Democrats. Everybody else in the street will look just like you anyway.
- If you don't vote Democrat, you must be one of those evil elephants who squish little baby squirrels for fun.
- The only alternative to nanny state is babies squished by evil Republican elephants.
- Republican elephants are evil.
Please note that the artist here is Yuliya Firsova who herself grew up in the Motherland under the caring guidance of a squirrel. She knows exactly what she's drawing about. Great job, and a Hero of Socialist Labor Medal for you too!
In fact, it's the ONLY book that should be in your child's library (besides works by Marx, Lenin, and Gramsci). When I saw that book I burned all my children's other books and replaced them with this one (including my 24-year-old son's bookshelf).
Of course the next book in the series is "Little Nutkin Squirrel Has Two Mommies"
(They met at the local SLUT chapter in San Francisco....Squirrel Lesbians Unite Together)
Hey, who needs a father when you have socialism & Democrats?
Don't worry, vote Democrat and the government will take care of you....and don't forget to share...ALL of your wealth.
We're almost there Comrades!
But on this fine occasion, I will toast and drink an extra high ball of my special reserve Pravda vodka tonight in honor of all of us comrades digging our way out of this snakepit of decadence and depravity that Marx and so many others fought so hard to dismiss. On this fine first anniversary of the Cube, I will be surrounded by my squirrel, muskrat and woodchuck friends tonight as I think so fondly of each and everyone of you Comrades!
Tried to register previously w/ Lenins 'n Things,but didn't go through.
I will think of better name so not to confuse fellow comrades.
We have loved this book ever since it was recommended to us by http://dicklist.blogspot.com/.
I just love the fact that the Republicans are big assf**kin' elephants the size of a tank! That kind of power gives me a real charge!!! The democrats are just rodents who carry mange and interbreed.
(big ass tank crunches a Skoda)
Oh, and here's a virtual beer for the three-year celebration...
(big ass stout and some bread with butter! mmmm. all the food groups.)
Premier BettyOkay, that was just one big quote with nothing added... anyone care to do the deleting?
I must be special. Someone quoted me.
I feel pretty... oh so pretty... I feel pretty and witty and gay!!!!!!
See you in the toilet paper or bread lines!
Will there be jousting?!?
As much as I like to take credit for this, I found it a few months ago while searching for images; I have no idea who made it.
[a few clicks later]
Okay, done. That was time well spent. That definitely needs to be saved somewhere.
and . . .
Judge Fraulein Pulloskies
and . . .
Lovely cake, Fraulein! I make a monthly cake for the
The person saving the garbage bag, Juan Pablo, will bake and create all kinds of goodies.
ЦаревнаWhat a hunk (I have a thing for garbage bag savers)
I believe, cough, I saw him first?
-- information minister
I know I am not alone in this desire. Admit it! You want it, too!
Maybe we can enlist the skills of Kathryn Limbaugh, an event planner par excellence!
Just a thought.What do you think?