Sydney, Australia - AP (Associated Potatoes) - An Australian university student appears to have solved a mystery which has perplexed astrophysicists for decades - she has found the so-called "missing mass" of the universe during her Summer Break. Undergraduate Amelia Fraser-McKelvie-Smith-Jones made her astounding discovery while looking at photographs of the USSA's "first" couple, B. Hussein Obama and his wife Michelle.

"Oh my God, I was like, "There it IS!!" stated Ms Frasier-McKelvie-Smith-Jones when asked how she reacted to the discovery. "It was, like, I was like WOW and then there it was, bulging out, and, like, I couldn't believe no one had noticed it before!!"

When it was pointed out to Ms Fraser-McKelvie-Smith-Jones that the media, especially in the USSA, is pretty much 99.99998% pro-His Excellency and Anything He Touches and always shows the "first" couple in a blindingly (although somewhat tellingly smarmy) light, she admitted that that could easily be the reason behind her late discovery.

"I'm like, well, somebody was bound to point it out eventually!!" stated the science-minded Australian undergrad.

When reached for comment, the first lady sneered, stuck her fist in the air, and slurped another hunk of chocolate ice cream from the top of her quadruple cone.

If that black belt were worn any higher, it could impede free breathing.

The Major says "It might be mistaken for a hat!

General, I do believe that you mean "that African-American belt".

But the Major does have a point, and I'm not referring to his hat.

ROCK, I must side with the General, Clothing is not of ethnic hyphenation status. At best, such undocumented belt of unknown national origin could be described as "negroid" until a long form birth certificate (or an invoice) can be presented.

though as I vaguely recall (over several Vodkas in the Officer's Club) the other evening the Major had a meaningful discussion about "urban" used in place of the former tint represented by absence of color, but neither of us can remember much of such talk...

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote: When reached for comment, the first lady sneered, stuck her fist in the air, and slurped another hunk of chocolate ice cream from the top of her quadruple cone.

You have pleased FLOTUS of USSA.


Good things will now happen to you, Comrade.
Look in your beet sack.

umm, well, it does appear that Pres. Michelle is hiding something. . . perhaps she was borrowing top secret documents like Sander BurglarBurger did? Or did we find all those lobsters and tamales she likes, hiding under her underneaths?

Frau,

I think she's trying to smuggle some of that Aussie beef under that "brisket" she's wearing "outback". It's an amazing thing we have witnessed over the past 2½ years: Obimbo's head, and ego, growing to record-breaking proportions, and MOO-chelle's arse growing to. . . well, just growing and growing... and growing...

Are we sure said student was korrect on the location of this missing matter?

Who's to say?

Good Lenin! Is she carrying a concealed weapon?

Gulag 4 Alfred, this is scary as ROCK's photo... if your photo is correct, Moo-chele is in violation of felony posession of weapons in federal buildings. OR she is a He...

Where's the TSA when you need them? Anybody got Janet's home number??

R.O.C.K.,

Where'd you get that terrifying photo of... well it kinda looks like MOO-chelle, but with those teeth I'd swear it was a Taxmanian Devil... or Demoncrat... or just some really, really demon-possessed individual with serious hate/anger/rage issues?

Damn near scared the Stalin outta me just looking at it!

Race is not the issue. She may not know what race she is in. Human is out.

Umm, you don't suppose Michelle was looking at a certain Democratic member of congress's gray underwear pic, do you?

Two things wrong. ROCK, that picture that you have shows her to be, er, packing something in her undies. Now ConservativeM and I might look at that with interest--do we have a tranny in the White House? But no, I'm afraid not. Perhaps that's the result of her new food pyramid or chart or Venn diagram.

And for the rest of you, LISTEN UP. Any talking about fat asses has to pass my muster because I'm the official press agent for Our Many Titted Empress, Hillary.

I'll have you know that she has the definitive fat ass in the world, and she's careful not to drop a pen at a briefing, for it will orbit her ass.

And it is utterly untrue that her ass is normal and that's where she coils her barbed tail.

It also has the added benefit of drawing attention away from her cloven hooves; it took Bruno Mali to make shoes which didn't like like, well, trotter-wear, for our dear MTE.

So our MTE has the fat ass. Moochelle has the fat mouth.

And dear Oleader sits in the Oval Office, with his basketball picks, his golfing, his vacations, as he runs the world over a cliff. What's better to ruin this country than a dim playboy? Especially one whose nuts have been cut off by his wife. Nero fiddled while Rome burned. Obozo swans about amusing himself on the taxpayer dime while his complete and total ideologically born ignorance of the world (he's very religious; ask Rev. Wright) insures that he'll be the last president to live this large.Après moi le déluge was I thought the arrogance of a French king, but it sounds so much better when snorted out the nostrils, which we can look up, if he's not drowning in the rain, of our Wastrel President.

But Lenin, I love him. I so hate this country which lets me be open, out, free, and prosperous and which lets me treat others like individuals.

Which is not the prog way. I hate individuality because free people are difficult to control. All hail Obozo, the leader into impoverishment and failure. It doesn't matter that he's completely clueless and his leaders are either evil, Mankind-hating totalitarians or fools. As long as people are suppressed, we're just fine.

Pardon me. I need to work up a few good sniffs in preparation for watching Chris Matthews.