This just in from the Communist News Network:

Comrade Member of the Duma, the Hon. Jim Moran (S-VA) is proposing a bill to the Duma to ban Erectile Dysfunction Television commercials.

Rep. James p. Moran (S-VA)


When asked by a member of the Inner Circle™ why he was doing this, he said "I am sick and tired of the U.S. Government having to compete with it's own proletariat when I it comes time to screw them! So many parents with neurotic hangups with human sexuality have been protesting "outside my office in recent weeks complaining about these ads!!"

We asked one of the protesters, Jennifer Deideler, about her objections to E.D. Television advertizing. "It is shameful and uncomfortable to have to explain to a 14yo what Erectile Dysfunction is and then getting into this long discussion about sex and where babies come from. Another protester, Susan "Butch" Bronsky agrees. "These E.D. pills are no more than a decaying patriarchy's attempt to maintain it's oppressive subjugation of women. These pills promote the continued rape of women on a daily basis. I can't think of nothing more criminal than to subject children to watch these ads on television. This could lead to children who will grow up thinking that sex between a man and a woman is normal. How un-progressive can these Thoughtcriminals™ be?".

Comrades,

The Party™ should endorse Comrade Moron's Moran's bill as it is clearly in the best interests of The Children™. As committed Socialists it is our duty to be the one "sticking it to the proles"! Not the other way around.


Zampolit Boris Sukavich Blokhayev
Commissar, 1st Chief Directorate for The Party™ Approved Margarita Research and Operations
Grand Inquisitor, The Reformed Church of Latter-Day Climatology (The Goremons)

This must be stopped! Late-night television would cease to exist. There is no way that the commercials for skipping out on your credit-card bills can flll the void. And what about XM Radio?

But I wonder. Would this also ban the ones which do not work to treat ED but which promise that a man will be bigger around--a woman breathlessly assures us that's <i>so</i> much more important--a few minutes after popping a pill?

In other words, if you take a pill would that make you a bigger prick?

To avoid constitutional problems we would have to limit the production to 535 pills taken the first November of each even year.

Since the Duma is full of a bunch of dildos, they do not want any competition.

Running-Dog Capitalist wrote:Since the Duma is full of a bunch of dildos, they do not want any competition.

What's wrong with being a dildo? I'll have you know that the best friend of TOTUS is a dildo.

Here is another despicable commercial that makes fun of progressive grilling of business people in Congress. Boycott Best Western!

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/NhrqxryGhkM&h ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

I thought it was real.

DirecTV has a commercial in which the board of a cable company are moaning about the satellite service. What can they do?

"I have two words. Federal. Bailout."

I want a federal bailout. The double-wide garage door at the Rancho de Rio Grande is 35 years old and falling apart. It will cost $1202 to replace! This includes the rails, springs and hardware.

I don't see why <i>I</i> should pay for it. After all, it's the target of Pupovich's talent-shitting pigeons.

Well, Representative Jim Moran (D-VA) has seen them too, and you'd be hard pressed (Pinkie: Another mouthful of vodka spewed across my keyboard) to see a smile on his face when he talks about the ads. “A number of people,” he says, “have come up, including colleagues, and said I'm fed up. I don't want my three or four-year old grandkid asking me what erectile dysfunction is all about. And I don't blame them.”

In the interests of equality, why doesn't he go after feminine hygiene commercials while he's at it? Whoever came up with the ad line, "Have a happy period," should be locked in a room with 72 women in the throes of PMS.

Would he prefer questions from his grandkid like, "Gramps, will you buy me pantyshields with wings so I can make my underwear fly?"

Flying panties? Those are the most equal panties of all. That image is burned into my mind. Bruno caught me laughing hysterically and demanded to know what about, and fool that I am I told him.

Guess what he wants?

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I thought it was real.

DirecTV has a commercial in which the board of a cable company are moaning about the satellite service. What can they do?

"I have two words. Federal. Bailout."

I want a federal bailout. The double-wide garage door at the Rancho de Rio Grande is 35 years old and falling apart. It will cost $1202 to replace! This includes the rails, springs and hardware.

I don't see why <i>I</i> should pay for it. After all, it's the target of Pupovich's talent-shitting pigeons.

Commissar Theo, have you considered equipping Bruno with a .410 Not For The People(TM) shotgun and pointing him towards the pigeons? Tell him he can have a shiny for each bird he drops. Then you can run the birds through a food processor and feed the resulting paste to your other goons.

What an excellent idea. I would do that but Bruno is so easily distracted. What if, for example, a fly started buzzing around my head? Bruno's attention would be riveted on the fly--fast motion and buzzing you know--and he might shoot me.

Then there is the problem of his eye-rolling. Makes the marksmanship a little difficult. I tried to teach him to shoot but he should all AROUND the target and didn't hit it once.