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Bruno is Crowned Beauty Non-Contest Queen! Finally!

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Dear Comrades,

For those of you who might not know, Jodin Morey stole the Prog Queen Beauty Non-Contest Crown, and absconded with it to a cave near Brainerd, Minnesota (of Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox fame-as seen in the movie"Fargo").

For reference - see original People's Cube Beauty Non-Contest Post

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This was quite upsetting to Bruno, who was in the lead for receiving the crown. So we put in a phone call to Comrade Al Franken, who told us, he would see if he could get past the Minnesota Democratic Farm Labor party members cave guards, and get into the cave to speak to Jodin.

Well, nothing happened. Comrade Al Franken did get into the cave, but did not come out for days, so Bruno bravely took it upon himself to retrieve the crown.

Without Comrade Theocritus's knowledge, Bruno boarded a bus near the Rancho del Rio for a grueling 48 hours to Brainerd. Babe the Blue Ox (who keeps up on all the local gossip) was able to give Bruno excellent directions to the cave. So, in the dark of the night, Bruno approached the DFL guards, dressed as a GITMO Freedom Fighter escapee, and was allowed into the cave. They were quite aware of Jodin's strong and sympathetic feelings for the unfairly inprisoned GITMO heroes, and felt that Jodin would want to protect any escaped Freedom Fighters.

Once inside the cave, Bruno waited for an opportune moment, and grabbed the crown right off of Jodin Morey's head. Neither Jodin, nor Comrade Franken made any attempt to fight Bruno. Bruno informed me that they seemed to be more interested in one another, and before he left the cave, Bruno did give both of them a piece of his mind, and he had the presence of mind to exit the cave wearing his GITMO costume so as not to alarm the DFL guards.

He then boarded a return bus all the way back to the Rancho.

Congratulations Bruno. You did it! You are now officially the People's Cube Beauty Non-Contest Prog Queen of 2009.

Hugs and Kisses from all.

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Special thanks to Comrade Red Rooster for all of his fantastic graphics.

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Good for you Bruno, the fruit wins out over the fruit, and two fruits find flatulating friskiness in a cave fantastic!

From our fowl farm to you Bruno:


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Comrade RR,

A fitting video. Wait a minute. I thought you were video deprived.

I am sleep deprived tonight, but I wanted to see Bruno's crowning. It was worth the wait.

If it weren't for your graphics, the People's Beauty Non-Contest would not have been nearly as successful. All of the Prog contestants and participants are indebted to you, as you did your best to make them look their best.

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It's FAP free time in the Syberian gulag! So I get to hunt and peck, but all is not equal on this 5 year old Zil computer while the Mazerati is kept hostage by the sleeping chics.

Thank you, Dear Leninka, it was my pleasure... and now I must step outside to relieve my sinus' from the flatulating chickens.

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Leninka, thank you for chronicling Bruno's epic venture to retrieve his beauty crown from Jodin Morey. It was the bravest thing that he's ever done, except bitch-slap Jennifer Lopez once.

I'm so glad to get it back. For weeks I had to listen to Bruno snivel about it. "Theocritus, that's </i>my</i> crown. I deserve it. And you and I both know that Jodin Morey can't accessorize."

Well, no, he can't. And there are many other things that Jodin Morey can't do either. I was hoping that I could at least get him to help me produce some Prog Piglets from some of the sows that I have here, but when feral sows take one look and roll over snorting with laughter, you're not going to get Prog Piglets.

I am glad though to know that Jodie is with Comrade Al Franken. After hearing that combination of sneering and whining I longed to live next door to a boiler factory.

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Well I'm glad the contest is over, and it's a funny story when the crown was streetshared.

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The only problem is displaying the crown properly without getting in the way of the fruit on his head. But you know, this may be a way to get him to quit doing Carmen Miranda. Now if any of my loyal comrade friends even <i>mentions</i> Ethel Merman, it's a pestilential plague of the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits and five cotes of talent-shitting pigeons.

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I was, in fact, concerned about the business of crowning both Bruno and the fruit, but as that is his current signature fashion accessory, I thought it best left untouched.

Really, if you and Bruno ever venture to Houston (I know, I know you aren't that fond of my Bug Swamp), I would love to take you to Naomi's Hat and Dress Boutique. Each hat is individually and lovingly decorated, and I suspect Bruno wouldn't know what to do with himself.

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Oh, Leninka, thank you for the invitation. When I lived there, going to college in the 70s, I thought that it would be a great town if I had time and money. I had neither then.

We can never let Bruno get near Naomi's. When he gets into a hat emporium the problem that he does know what to do with himself and it's terribly embarrassing.


 
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