Check them out!
Edvard ShootskiComrade Burnzski on Guard!
Each shall instantly go to Jiffi-Lobo and be fitted with a Superheterodyne, Phased-antenna array, mu-metal shielded tin-foil hat, which will look very fetching once they have been released from the tender administrations of sensitivity training.
One would hope that they at least pipe in the "Sounds of the Gulag©"From Hemlock
Productions $21.99, Contains, charming sounds of Machine guns, screams, whips, shouting, and attack dogs growling. Yes comrades sounds that will bring you home.
This will also serve to prepare them for Kind and Generous leaders, Jiffy Lobo®
Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitalityä INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith
We need to have the proles learn to cower at the sound of barking attack dogs. Do you think that we ought to set up classes to distinguish say between the sounds of a German shepherd, a Doberman or a Rottweiler? I, with my fine ear, can tell the difference in a second.
Now here at the Rancho I have two sorts of dogs. The dogs which bark, pour encourager les autres, and dogs which have had their voice boxes removed, so that they don't give notice as they rip out the throat of a prole.
Now I have one more question. If the proles have either had their throats ripped out, have had three consecutive Jiffi-Lobos, or have been impaled, can we consider them dead, or do we have to submit them to Obamacare? I know it's just a labor-saving device but do we really need an Obama Death Panel when the prole is disemboweled?
Apparently the racist anti-government extremists dared to use loud speakers.
As we all know, only noisy Leftist demonstrators are allowed to use bullhorns to get their message out. Rightwing reactionaries are expected to sit quietly in a dark corner with their mouths shut.
Also think of conservatives who get pied on American universities. Who are shouted down.
Commissar TheocritusEach shall instantly go to Jiffi-Lobo and be fitted with a Superheterodyne, Phased-antenna array, mu-metal shielded tin-foil hat, which will look very fetching once they have been released from the tender administrations of sensitivity training.
Most equal Comissar, they will need insulated soviet brown bear fur versions of these hats for proper gulag use.
This Jiffi-Lobo hat has excellent tuned signal pulling power. It is being held at the korrekt angle to align with Comrade Laika's space orbit as well:
This is a dangerous group that the Univerisity is routing. Anyone within ACORN voter registration range should be shuffled into the cattle pens and either branded or butchered. Troublesome cattle infect the other cattle and soon we would have a stampede on our hands.
Here's to ya Comrades:
What's not to love?
Would The Party be interested in
If stuffed Gollums already exist, which they probably do, maybe we could make our own version...the body of Gollum with the head of Mao. Or the body of Hildebeast with the head of Stalin. Anything that troubles the souls of capitalists is going to be fun!
(If this has already been proposed before...oops!)
I just wish that Gollum hadn't decamped though, before I could thank him enough for his enlightenment. And perhaps get some pointers. The only problem with your excellent suggestion about stuffed-animal Gollums is that they would have to be very smart robots, because i myself have never seen a stuffed animal that could steal and then blame you for it.
Of course that could be solved if we could have a Useful Idiot Gollum. That one wouldn't have to steal at all, or spout rubbish, or be sententious at all. It would merely be a Gollum doll with one of my impaling sticks right through it, wearing a tee-shirt saying, "I'm the most useful of useful idiots!"
Don't wish too hard for nearly naked prog chicks. Some of them are very, er, earnest. [center][/center]
This Progressive is from Breasts Not Bombs.
Have you said your 100 Hail Obamas? Have you abased yourself as an American, guilty of raping the planet? All this is Groveling 101 at Prog U.
Illustrious one I try my best to emulate for the glory of all that is good in THE ONE's eyes to pass for a proper American. Yes yes I do. ALthough I had to use toothpicks to keep them open I look at decadent dolls at Hooters and have learned for infiltration reasons who Dale Earnhardt is. Although I am equipped in fashion to give girly girls GIANT GRINS I have only molested holes in ground not violated whole sphere of planet. Still learning arts of progressive propaganda. Maybe next year.
I just received my appointment badge to start new center of education. You are immediately to get refresher course comrade.
Look at those lines! That form! That thing can dig beets for days!
Every day when I rise I look at that and think that just maybe, if I toil unceasingly for the masses, maybe I'll get to spit-shine that tractor some day. Look at the wheels on that tractor! Look at the headlights!
My breathing is getting faster. Oh...the windshield...huff, puff, the muffler...
I need a cigarette.
I know! I know! Conspicuous consumption, but let's consider it. It takes off less potato and makes thinner peels. And before you accuse me of not eating the peels, I feed them to proles less equal than I am. Once I just refused to feed my proles, but they unfortunately died on me, which is most unpatriotic. So I now feed them the thinnest of the peelings of shriveled, old, rotting potatoes.
Made with my stainless-steel potato peeler.