In the wake of historic electoral loss, Chavistas blame their failure to get their message out as the reason the people of Venezuela voted overwhelmingly against socialism.
"Our message of fear and intimidation isn't getting out anymore," said president Maduro. "Hello, hello. Can you hear me? If you don't vote Chavista we'll get you fired! It no longer works for us."
"We thought we had the people by the balls," explained Maduro to a sympathetic AP reporter. "Socialism is a system where you have everyone by the balls. Housing, food, jobs, money - everything comes from the government. If you don't let us hold you by the balls, your life ain't worth a plugged nickel. But that only works if everyone is afraid of you."
"They stopped fearing us, apparently, because we failed to get our message of fear and intimidation out effectively, even despite covering every wall in Caracas with pictures of me as the Orwellian Big Brother. They stopped paying attention to my portraits. Some say the masses finally had nothing left to lose but their chains. But I think the problem is that those portraits were just not scary enough. Maybe if we fired those artists and put them to jail for sabotage, our message would have been a lot clearer. Maybe we should have hired Shepard Fairey to handle our visual agitation and propaganda," the Venezuelan president said.
"We've learned one thing from this election: for socialism and Chavismo to win we have to work harder at terrorizing the masses," President Maduro said. "No more mister nice guy. We have to find a way to get our message out somehow."