President Obama stunned the world yesterday with another gutsy call as his position on the gay marriage issue continued to evolve right before reporters' eyes. In his boldest semi-reversal of everything he has previously said on the subject to date, the president proclaimed he would have no problem with men who own cats and like singing show tunes donating to his campaign.

A frightened public seemed reassured by the forceful determination in the president's voice and manner as he stepped up to lead the country in one of its most difficult crises since the Civil War. The crisis erupted earlier this week when North Carolina overwhelmingly voted to outlaw gay marriage and was exacerbated when the Washington Post revealed that Mitt Romney once forcibly cut the hair of a classmate who might've been gay in 1965. A nation in its darkest hour then turned its eyes to Barack Obama for leadership and he did not let us down.

"The gay marriage issue is the one that everybody I listen to is talking about" stated one veteran journalist, obviously moved by the momentousness of the event. MSNBC anchor Chris Matthews noted a renewed tingle in his leg after the president's statement before calling to a stagehand for a clean pair of Depends.

World Leaders were unanimous in their praise for Mr. Obama after his pronouncement. A spokesman for Prime Minister David Cameron said the UK leader would dig up the iPod with the president's speeches on it (the one Mr. Obama gave Queen Elizabeth 3 years ago) and listen to a few of them when he has time. A spokesperson for the president-elect of France, Francois Hollande said, "I'm sorry, who is Barack Obama again?"

The president's position on this issue continues to evolve as did Lincoln's position on slavery during the aforementioned Civil War. When asked if Mr. Obama would call for the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act and endorsement of pro-gay marriage language in the party platform, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said:

"Well, party platform issues are for the party to decide. That process is underway, and I refer you to the DNC on the question about the platform."

He added that "the President's belief that DOMA ought to be repealed is well stated."

Carney refused to disclose when Obama actually completed the process of "evolving" towards support for gay marriage. "I don't have a specific date for you," he said.
Source: Washington Examiner

Everyone is agreed that is perfectly clear.

Rethuglicans, who do not believe in evolution, immediately criticized our courageous president, stating that he was playing politics with the gay marriage issue and using it to avoid discussing the economy. It is not immediately clear why this would be so because the economy is doing so wonderfully (unemployment is down to 8.1%!) there is no need to talk about it.

Obama's opponent in November, Mitt something or other, had no comment but he is a Mormon and they hate gays as well as women.

We will have more on this situation as it evolves.

"Barack H. Obama attended a $40,000-a-head,[modern bourgeois society party at]George Clooney's Hollywood home. He talked about the iconic “Hope” poster that became the emblem of the 2008 campaign. [...] The poster hangs in Clooney's house. Obama [imparted] how it was based on a photo of him and Clooney at an event for the humanitarian crisis in Darfur. [ [highlight=#ff0000](lie!)[/highlight] ] “This is the first time that George Clooney has actually been photoshopped out of a picture,” the president [lamented]. “Never happened before, will never happen again.” [But... as we all know the big “O” is a liar. The photo was stolen from the Associated Press. The artist later admitted to the theft. The Dali-Bamma must be better informed. His handlers at least must be better informed"](Dwoskin 1).
Dwoskin , Elizabeth. "Obama's Clooney Joke Got Lots of Laughs. Too Bad Nobody Fact-Checked It First."Bloomberg Businessweek. 11 May 2012: 1. Web. 11 May. 2012.Comrades, lets all get together and march on Hollywood mega-rich and protest the president and his bourgeoisie artsy-fartsy friends.

The primitive Rethuglikkkan brain, which is of course wired backwards, is just incapable of understanding the simple fact taught in every public school and espoused on every propaganda media channel, except faux & hate radio, that the settled science of the evolution of man is leading towards an unprecedented age of en-light-enment, ie,
The Glorious Progressive World of Next Tuesday ™.

Dear Leader, who is above all things, (PBUH) has simply decided its time to quicken the pace.
Who are the Rethugs to even attempt to question the one true "One" who gives all subsistence and has become a mere mortal to show us the current truth and the way.

There is a better world.
We just all need to submit and renew our vows to follow him & "evolve".
Are you in?



"We kneel and give praise and all glory to the giver of the beets that sustains us." Hallelujah - Amen.