Let's face facts Comrades, Dear Leader Obama is a collective genius!

His speeches have Fundamentally Transformed Amerikkka into 1917 Russia and now, his speeches will transform Amerikkka's energy economy into redistributive orgasm!

Via the oil spill!


Surely the mere words of Dear Leader will scurry that silly fossil fuel back into its hole, no?

Surely the mere words of Dear Leader will feed that family of five in Loosianah bahyoo swamp, no?

Surely the mere words of Dear Leader will un-F the minds of those silly global warming deniers, right? Is the evidence not clear?

Rejoice Comrades! Utopia is near! He shall speaketh soon!

Comrades,

Consider deeply the words of Our One. He is reaching out to his enemy, not unilaterally rushing to war with it. While it might evince some reactionary thought, which cannot be helped with some enemies who are so because they are simply not yet progressive, the oil slick is being fed a reassuring diet of nurture and tolerant inclusive camaraderie.

For its part, the oil slick will help with cap and tax, because it's tired of being drilled for, extracted, exploited. It also wishes to help keep Our One in power and will, once the goal has been attained, slowly melt away and go back to minding its own business.

Comrades, it is clear: dialogue is peace and power.

No war for oil, no war on oil. Just as Dear Leader has won over the hearts and minds of Al Qaeda and the Taliban by refusing to use prejudicial terms like "War on Terror" and "Radical Islam" he will be able to convince the oil to go back down the memory hole simply by changing the way we speak about it.

We should come up with sweet sounding euphemisms for this "Man Caused Disaster." Something like "Golden Honey Water" or "Slippery Tides."

Comrade_Tovarich wrote: For its part, the oil slick will help with cap and tax, because it's tired of being drilled for, extracted, exploited. It also wishes to help keep Our One in power and will, once the goal
has been attained, slowly melt away and go back to minding its own business.

How much more smarter can a Comrade be? Maybe we should ask Uncle Ted...

This upstart deserves a denouncement!

So, has The One added another title under his belt - The Oil Whisperer? Or would it be more precise to call him The Crude Whisperer?

In fact, considering that most Obama supporters believe that "crude oil" stands for off-brand personal lubricants, he is not going to lose the votes of those who still can't understand who or what this BP was drilling on that rig in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico, that caused such a big spill of KY Jelly into the water.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:We should come up with sweet sounding euphemisms for this "Man Caused Disaster." Something like "Golden Honey Water" or "Slippery Tides."

Having viewed the allegedly live footage of the gushing oil, I wish to propose Black Golden Shower as the politically correct phrase. It's black gold, it's showering up, and something will go down the drain.

I like it Tovarich, it fits nicely with Dear Leader's Trickle Down economics. From the Party™ , to the People, according to need.

(I'm already feeling trickled on)

The DЭAЯ LЭADЭЯ is about to use this Spill to spill the beans on His Plan for the "WAR AGAINST DRILLING":

LINK

Yes Comrades, just like the Boosh had his WOT, Premier Obama will have His WAD.

When all is said and done, Americans will be paying $20 per gallon of gasoline, all in the name of saving the environment.

Is that clever, or what?

Dear Leader has a WAD? Hmmm... we must be checking that with Princess Mo.

I denounce Comrades Tovarish and Whoopie for agreeing to racist terminology!! We can not be for calling Golden Shower 'Black' as then peoples of color will make for being up in arms and we will then all be in the thick of it. Perhaps more like Bubbling Golden Shower would be of more appropriateness.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:it fits nicely with Dear Leader's Trickle Down economics. From the Party™ , to the People, according to need.
(I'm already feeling trickled on)

The exact quote, comrade, is "Trickle Up economics." And if you have no idea what that means, look at the BP oil spill.

Mrs Al Czarweary wrote:Dear Leader has a WAD? Hmmm... we must be checking that with Princess Mo.

I denounce Comrades Tovarish and Whoopie for agreeing to racist terminology!! We can not be for calling Golden Shower 'Black' as then peoples of color will make for being up in arms and we will then all be in the thick of it. Perhaps more like Bubbling Golden Shower would be of more appropriateness.

I join you in your denouncement Mrs Alczarweary...due to recent developments, I'm just in a denouncin kinda mood...

Red Square wrote:So, has The One added another title under his belt - The Oil Whisperer? Or would it be more precise to call him The Crude Whisperer?

Rumor has it that he Whispered to the Oil Spill to avoid all Section 8 housing. Is there any Section 8 housing on the beach or waterfront??????

Yahtzee!

Comrades,

I wear my denouncements with pride, for I know that in purity of thought I am at least as equal. My Tokarev 9mm, obtained from Russian smugglers, has never failed me in disputes of this nature, by the way.