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Just last night our Comrade Imperatorskiy Pingvin proposed this headline: "CNN adds 'full semi-automatic' setting to washing machine to more effectively spin news."

And this morning I see a story in PJ Media about how The Babylon Bee published a story titled, CNN Purchases Industrial-Sized Washing Machine To Spin News Before Publication and Facebook blocked their link with a warning that it had been debunked by Snopes as "fake news."

We were shocked!

Not because Snopes debunked an anti-prog spoof as "fake news." Snopes has been debunking our spoofs as "fake news" forever. Here's a partial list:

• Warsaw Ghetto Uprising was an Overreaction (by David Mikkelson)
  
• Rumor: Television personality Rosie O'Donnell got an ISIS tattoo in support of the Islamic State's 'struggle against Western imperialism.' (by David Mikkelson)
  
• Rumor: A portrait of Abraham Lincoln was removed from the White House to make way for a picture of the Obamas' pet dogs. (by David Mikkelson)
  
• Fake news reports Miley Cyrus burned a Bible during a concert in order to promote tolerance. (by Dan Evon)
  
• Fake news reports that CNN host Fareed Zakaria posted a blog entry calling for white women to be raped by Islamic minority groups. (by Staff)
  
• A fake news site claimed Dearborn banned alcohol because of a Muslim majority in the city's council. (by Kim LaCapria)
  
• Sen. Dianne Feinstein did not say she is unsympathetic to veterans who experience symptoms of PTSD because they “deserve” it. (by Kim LaCapria)

Neither were we shocked to find out that Facebook was blocking someone's links; Facebook has been limiting our shares and marking our links as "spam" for quite some time - without any explanations or warnings.

We were shocked that Facebook actually had the decency to give the Babylon a warning and an explanation, instead of just quietly shadow-banning them into the memory hole, like they did it with the People's Cube while keeping the semblance of our online presence for demonstration purposes only.

Just last night our Comrade Imperatorskiy Pingvin proposed this headline: "CNN adds 'full semi-automatic' setting to washing machine to more effectively spin news."

Yeah, no kidding! We just bought a new house with a dishwasher with features that include every single aspect of your life at the press of a button, including when to pick your nose.

All I want to do is press a button that says "Start" and have it end with the signal "Done."

It seems unbelievable that an entire dishwash could take 80 minutes. Yet it does. This is the true meaning of "semi-automatic."

In addition, when I called a serviceperson, he/it warned me about using the "sanitizing" button. He/it said that that would absolutely melt my plastic absolutely!

I rely on these plastics for my very existence! I want them clean but not melted! Where is the wicked witch of the west when I need her?

Snopes Rates Babylon Bee World's Most Accurate News Source

Kim LaCapria? Isn't she one of David Mikkelson's prostitute / content writers?

What CNN really needs on their spin machine is a setting for "extra heavy loads."

I wield a shovel and wear thick, sturdy boots. I should know.

In order to maintain freedom we need to crack down hard on all this willful freedom. Humor first and then the world!

Those conservative groups are funded by Russia anyway.

My guess is the people at Facebook are still laughing at their cynical little joke. They know very well what's what.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:What CNN really needs on their spin machine is a setting for "extra heavy loads."

I wield a shovel and wear thick, sturdy boots. I should know.

F'nay Commissarka Pinkie! I don't want to have to wash my dishes before I dishwash them! Is that too much to ask?

Pamalinsky wrote:

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:What CNN really needs on their spin machine is a setting for "extra heavy loads."

I wield a shovel and wear thick, sturdy boots. I should know.

F'nay Commissarka Pinkie! I don't want to have to wash my dishes before I dishwash them! Is that too much to ask?

Golly, Pammie - do what I do,.. eat off the ground. Saves water and there's no cleanup.

Your pal,
Craptek

ps - no need to thank me.

Pamalinsky wrote:

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:What CNN really needs on their spin machine is a setting for "extra heavy loads."

I wield a shovel and wear thick, sturdy boots. I should know.

F'nay Commissarka Pinkie! I don't want to have to wash my dishes before I dishwash them! Is that too much to ask?

Say good night, Gracie.

Comrade Otis wrote:In order to maintain freedom we need to crack down hard on all this willful freedom. Humor first and then the world!

Those conservative groups are funded by Russia anyway.

Good luck with that Comrade Otis, the opposition has no humor whatsoever. And you want it first? Seriously? That's where we find ourselves. What to do next? I dunno. I just dunno.

$.$. Halliburton wrote:

Pamalinsky wrote:

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:What CNN really needs on their spin machine is a setting for "extra heavy loads."

I wield a shovel and wear thick, sturdy boots. I should know.

F'nay Commissarka Pinkie! I don't want to have to wash my dishes before I dishwash them! Is that too much to ask?

Say good night, Gracie.

And, good night to you, sir $$ Halliburton, (ie. George!)