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Feds crack down on orphans, set sights on widows

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[img]/images/Gitmo_Orphanage_Refugees.jpg[/img]

Following the discovery of a terrorist cell in Texas operated by an Iraqi orphan who entered the United States as a refugee, reports have surfaced of an additional 41 orphans implicated in terrorist plots in the United States since 2014. This brings the total number of orphans-turned-terrorists discovered since that time to 113, according to information provided by Congressional sources.

During a recent hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee, FBI Director James Comey warned that while "[w]e are stopping [terrorist plots] so far through tremendous hard work, many of these orphans don't have parents to guide and discipline their behavior. Some will inevitably get into some mischief, and I cannot see me stopping it indefinitely."

The Obama administration refused to comment, citing ongoing prosecutions and the potential for exposing embarrassing holes in the refugee screening process, but December's budget, signed by President Obama, contained an appropriation for a new orphanage at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

U.S. Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL), Chairman of the Senate Subcommittee on Immigration and the National Interest applauded the administration's decision to repurpose Guantanamo Bay now that most detainees have been rehabilitated and released, but cautioned that a "large number of widows in the refugee program do not have a husband or children to occupy their time, and there is a high risk that they may also turn to terrorism." The non-orphan Middle Eastern refugee population is comprised entirely of widows.

White House spokesman Josh Earnest responded by pointing out that "[if] Republicans are so terrified of widows, then I would hesitate to vote for them when there are so many quadriplegics trying to bob across the Rio Grande."

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That orphanage need a better name, to help maintain their self-esteem. A few suggestions:

  • Busy Little Hands Orphanage
  • Precious Little Jihadi Playground
  • Islamic State of Happiness
  • Over the Rainbow Caliphate
  • Heart of Great Satan Nursery

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Red Square wrote:That orphanage need a better name, to help maintain their self-esteem. A few suggestions:

  • Busy Little Hands Orphanage
  • Precious Little Jihadi Playground
  • Islamic State of Happiness
  • Over the Rainbow Caliphate
  • Heart of Great Satan Nursery

- Mohammed's Magic Kingdom
- Jubilant Junior Jihad Camp
- Uncle Imam's Happy Fun Time Basement
- Little Footprints in the Sand

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Per usual, Cube monitoring rightfully stole my idea for The Prophet's Funtime Unicorn Farm.

How about Chuck E. Cheese's in Paradise?
The Fluffytorium?
Hellfire Test Range C-3?

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The Official Kokomo Waterboarding School.

Long live the 150 year revolution.

Kokomo.jpg

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In keeping with official progressive policy to praise Papa Obama at all time for all things


Then I suggest naming it after him and in keeping
with his progressive faith of birth and the rumored peccadilloes
inspired in his youth, no doubt, by his progressive mentor Frank Marshall Davis



The Barry Soetoro Home for Dancing Boys



most progressive


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This picture proves that not everyone who looks like a Muslim is a threat. Obama should project this image on the screen during his next speech about bringing in more widows and orphans.

Burka_Patio_Umbrellas.jpg

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Germany now uses pictures to help the orphans and widows adapt to their new land. USSA next.

German_Sign_Migrants_Poop_Showers.jpg


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I missed the broadcast, did the refugees poop in the empty chair next to FLATUS?


 
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