As other nations are hurriedly changing names to avoid being liberated by Russian forces, Georgia governor Nathan Deal took action to rescue his state from a possible invasion.

“Well, I received a very unsettling email from Igor Toutellalai in which he informed me that for one, other countries were changing their names for national security reasons, and two, there was a country on Russia's border also called Georgia. I looked at a globe to see if there really was a country named after our great state, and sure enough, there it was! I took action right away and called an emergency meeting of the state legislature, and we couldn't agree to change our name to New Kenya fast enough.”

Legislation went through in record time as both parties worked together to meet the crisis. Provisions in the new law include making Swahili the official state language, extra funding for track and field events, and mandating that “Georgia on My Mind” will now be sung acapella in 11 part harmony.

The bill was signed into law earlier this morning by Governor Nathan Deal, now Governor Nathan M'pango. “New Kenyans can now sleep better at night knowing that we're well off Russia's radar,” assured the governor.

New Kenyan Olympic legends Lamar Ferguson and his daughter, Betty-Mae, will be hosting a series of ads called, “Hujambo, Y'all” to encourage former Georgians to make the switch to their new native tongue.

Will New Kenya finally reinstitute Freaknik in Atlantagrad, or some copycat Harambee substitution?

Does this mean our next President for Life will come from Georgia?

Tovarichi wrote:Will New Kenya finally reinstitute Freaknik in Atlantagrad, or some copycat Harambee substitution?

Yes, New Nairobi will proudly host such culturally enlightening events in the future.

Callmelennie wrote:Does this mean our next President for Life will come from Georgia?

Glorious news, comrade! Has the identity of the seventh son of the seventh PDF layer been released yet?

Trayvon.