Comrades!
Today is a glorious day, marking the one year anniversary of Our Saviour Barack (middle name omitted) Obama taking office.

The One in a humble moment

All over America this morning there were irrepressible spontaneous demonstrations when (union) workers marched out of factories and offices and paraded through the streets with banners voicing their gratitude to Big Brother for the new, happy life which his wise leadership has bestowed upon us.

Here is a stunning list of our Dear Leader's achievements his first year in office:

* Enjoyed a record-breaking $170 million dollar inauguration party
* Made fun of Special Olympians on the "The Tonight Show"
* After saying "We can't drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times..." journalist discover that Obama cranks the thermostat in the Oval Office
* Decided not to get a dog from the animal shelter as he promised, but instead got purebred "BO"
* Gave the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches
* Gave UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs (he was probably re-gifting)
* Gave back the bust of Winston Churchill which occupied the White House for decades
* Declared every Wednesday night at the White House "Party Night" vowing to "raise the roof on this mutha"
* Changed "The War on Terrorism" to the more pleasingly title "Overseas Contingency Operation"
* Changed the term "acts of terrorism" to the more compassionate and understanding term "man-caused disasters"
* Bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia
* Bowed to the Prime Minister of Japan
* Bowed to the Mayor of Tampa, FL (wait, that one didn't count - he was just showing her how to do the "robot")
* Filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current on their income taxes
* Hijacked 9/11 and turned it into a "National Day of Service"
* Burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on "Earth Day"
* Fired the CEO of General Motors despite not having any constitutional power to do so
* Had Air Force One fly low over Manhattan for an unannounced "photo session", scaring the wits out of just about every New Yorker
* Doubled the national debt, which had taken more than 200 years to accumulate
* Gave Henrieitta Hughes a house after her tearful pleas for help at a town hall meeting
* Treated the First Lady to a date in NYC at a cost to the taxpayers of $25,000
* Raised cigarette taxes 60 cents a pack (menthol cigarettes were exempt for some odd reason...) and banned clove cigarettes
* Called Tea Party members "tea-baggers"
* Called for the trail of 9/11 mastermind KSM to be held in of all places - New York City!
* Awarded Nobel Peace Prize for.....well, I'm sure it was for something - WAIT! I know...for apologizing around the world for America
* Created the most "transparent government in history" by posting all legislation on the white house website 5 days before congress votes...(nope, scratch that one)
* Generously gave 6.5% of their 2008 income to charity (the Bushes gave 23% of theirs to charity in 2007)
* Ended funding for Washington DC's school voucher program, while his daughters get to attend the same private schools he denies poor children the choice to go to
* Thanked himself for being invited to speak with the Irish Prime Minister (well, somebody had to!)
* Made swift military decisions concerning Afghanistan (if you call 8 months "swift")
* Withdrawn all troops from Iraq (oh, wait...he didn't do that? Uh, nevermind.)
* Joe Biden said that "Iraq is one of Obama's greatest achievements" (!!)
* Gave almost 500 glorious speeches in only 365 days, almost all of them with the aid of a teleprompter.
* Government-run health care (work in progress)
* Thinks he's TIger Woods - played 24 rounds of golf in his first 9 months in office (took Bush over 2 years to play that many)
* Obama gave himself a "B+" grade !


Comrades, what grade do YOU give our great leader? (Remember, daily beet rations are dependent upon your answer).

The only reason Obama gave himself a B+ is because he thinks the first letter of the alphabet is B...and dog gone it, you know, he's right.

I give him a solid A++. In an entirely unrelated subject, I am currently being held at gunpoint by Amy Bishop and Shelly O; who are shouting random things at me like "You better give Lil' Barry an A++, Dammit!" Is that the sound of Joe Stack's plane I hear? Wow- he's come to rescue me- ahh, crap.

(off)
Can he thrust his head any higher? I'm no psychologist, but that seems to indicate a serious narcissistic tendancy. One of these days a big wind is gonna catch them big ears of his and snap that big ol' bobblehead off his puny shoulders. He better hope he can still get healthcare after that

* Awarded Nobel Peace Prize for.....well, I'm sure it was for something - WAIT! I know...for apologizing around the world for America

By the by, has the Dear One ever gotten around to donating the million bucks that came with it to a worthy charity as he promised at the time?