Image

I DEMAND A SHOW TRIAL!

User avatar
Bah. I denounce the Lynx browser too. No pictures, therefore you do not get your full dose of Party Mandated Propaganda.

User avatar
It is an excellent browser Lynx, these proles use it to do their Post-Toast(TM) research for The Party(TM)....

Image

User avatar
Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote:Leninka,

Thirty years ago? Things as you can imagine have really changed here. I hope you remember how to use your chopsticks though. That is one tradition that will never change.

Snoogie,

Domo Arrigato,

That was vely funny.

Leninka

User avatar
Red Rooster wrote:It is an excellent browser Lynx, these proles use it to do their Post-Toast(TM) research for The Party(TM)....

Image

Yes Chicky, Your cats in the can have returned.

Now who wants soup?

Image

User avatar
Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote:Reiuxcat

How about a little chicken in the basket instead?


Image

User avatar
Reiuxcat

Always happy to help a Comrade out. I've also noticed that I can always count on you and your friends always watching my back also.


Image

User avatar
Comrades, I fail to see why we are worrying about cats and chickens or Yes Wee Cans when we ought to be preparing to earn our living when the expenditures of His O'liness cause the dollar to be replaced by a basketful of currencies as the international unit of value:
<center>Image</center>

User avatar
Commissar Theocritus wrote:Comrades, I fail to see why we are worrying about cats and chickens or Yes Wee Cans when we ought to be preparing to earn our living when the expenditures of His O'liness cause the dollar to be replaced by a basketful of currencies as the international unit of value:
<center></center>

Not to worry Comrade Commissar Theoctritus, as you can see, we have been updating the male ho's also.

Image

User avatar
Reiuxcat wrote: Yes Chicky, Your cats in the can have returned.

Now who wants soup?

Image

About time a catty cat learned how to cook! Damn those proles, it was enough trouble taking them out to The Wall(TM)! You cook the feet and we'll cook the rest....

Image

User avatar
Ahhhh... nothing like a day taking out ZombieKitties!

Image

User avatar
Comrade Commissar Theocritus, I here even certain capitalist icons have made the switch.

Image

User avatar
Red Rooster wrote:Ahhhh... nothing like a day taking out ZombieKitties!

Image

I'm glad to see you are using the approved handles. Well done.

My esteemed Comrade Rooster, I am to depart upon an important mission to Florida. I have been assigned to reconnoiter the house that Rush built. I must travel through the most bourgeois areas along the panhandle as I make my way along the coast and into the interior.

As Comrade Snoogie had pointed out, I may have to blend in with the locals and do a little fishing.

Keep up the good work you do for the people!

User avatar
Comrade Reiuxcat,

Do be safe on your journey. There is a CDC in Atlanta serving Kool-aid and I would hate for you to get a bad taste. It must be Bush's fault, it seems they are serving proles daily with phone calls to do involuntary studies of CFS for Dr. Jym Jones. One of the newest discoveries found since His O'liness took office was that those that suffer from CFS have Repressed Memories(TM) and were molested in their youth. This helps The Party(TM) proscribe more prozac and other mental inhibitors to the Rethuglicans in the south.

Blend well, Dear Reiuxcat, and enjoy the fishing.

User avatar
Reiuxcat,

Good luck on your glorious mission for the party. Your intelligence gathering on Rush will be invaluable to a future mission that Colonel 7.62 is planning.

His squad is training while we speak.

Psst........PLEASE Take your time!!!!! The squad could use a few extra days training!




Have a good and safe trip.

Comrade Snoogie Woogums

User avatar
Comrades! Fret no more! I am quite unharmed. What you have witnessed was but a testing, You are all witness to the results. I faked my collapse to test the mettle of this Gang of Four and what did we see? Leninka at least had the presence of mind to see if I was out before trying to rifle through my pockets, though of course Commissar Theocritus, being more progressive and more professional, was there first. (Sorry Commissar Theocritus, all that you found were cheap baubles, of no consequence.) Criminal Rooster at least had the good taste to offer my a glass of poisoned vodka. Not a word or act of concern from the other two defendants.

While I must give at least some credit to Leninka and Red Rooster, not a single one of the Gang of Four showed even the most basic Progressive First Aid (For Oneself) skills and waved some OPM beneath my nose to ensure it is safe to “inspect” my pockets and man purse.

Think on this comrades….. for the judgment soon follows!

User avatar
Not so fast, Pupovich. As Special Prosecutor with all the perpetual funding that comes with the position, I investigated the Gang of Four's alleged failure to render first aid. I have determined that they conducted themselves correctly, by standing over your body and wringing their hands helplessly as they lamented your tragic lack of health insurance and the fact that if only we'd had Obamacare long ere this, you would have had all the care you needed (subject, of course, to sufficient funding and available state-approved health care professionals).

Now, had you been conscious, they might have told you how to find whatever services you needed, either by giving you directions to the nearest pay phone so you could look up said services in the Blue Pages, or a URL/website number for such services along with directions to a pay phone so you could look up the location of the nearest Internet cafe in the Yellow Pages. However, in today's economy, when so many are forced to choose a cell phone plan over something as basic as a meal as evidenced by photos of the First Lady slinging slops in a shelter, it could be safely assumed that you already had a cell phone and therefore would not even require any assistance from the Gang of Four as just described.

Just ask yourself, Pupovich: Did Mulva, who is everything an ideal prog should be, do more for the guy with cancer and three kids than the Gang of Four did for you?

User avatar
Dear Consulate,

We do not know what to say. We have stolen, bribed, cowered, begged, defiled,given evidence to this court in hopes that we may be properly disposed of rendered fair judgment upon. And Mulva is a far more equal progressive than we could ever hope to be. The progressive art of moderation stamping out others thoughts and opinions, like so wonderfully practiced by the MSM has been applied.

We are sorry to hear the poison vodka glass of water did not kill revive the Good Judge.

We shall render more stolen, bribed, cowered, begged, defiled, er... things evidence for defense shortly....

Your Honor Marshal Pupovich, did you not enjoy find useful the bribe evidence of The Gold Pup Coins we rendered?

User avatar
Ah. Pinkie. You bring tears to the rheumy eyes of this old socialist. In late 2006 I was lost, a Commissar without a cause--I didn't even know that I <i>had</i> an inner Commissar. I Googled something for another blog I used to post on and came across the Cube.

Which directed me to Mulva. How well I recall going over to dear Alva's place and leaving little gifts of my appreciation and I've been a member of the Cube ever since. My heart and soul belong to the Cube.

And it was all because of the Community Organization of the Cube directed toward dear Alva.

Gee. I hope I spelled his name right.

User avatar
Marshall!

I showed no compassion while you were.....er, indisposed?

Who do think the Gang stuck with the job of changing making sure you had your newspaper everyday?

And by the way, I made sure it was a Party approved one at that. Did you not enjoy passing out on reading the New York Times?

User avatar
S-W, I hate to tell you but he didn't have <i>The New York Times</i>. I have a bird cage and had fish to wrap.

User avatar
Marshall, I should remind you that it was I who was watching the Gang of Four through a sniper scope in case they tried something funny with what was believed to be your corpse. Like burying it BEFORE looting, salvaging internal organs, and tanning your hide for a bedspread.

User avatar
7.62, very good. Never waste an asset. That's like letting money out of the country.

User avatar
Actually I was thinking that were the Marshall actually dead, his skinned out looted and gutted corpse would make excellent bait for crab fishing. There really is no need to bury anybody. All can be salvaged and reused. It's recycling at it's finest!

User avatar
S-W, I hate to tell you but he didn't have The New York Times. I have a bird cage and had fish to wrap.

oops!!! I gave you The New York Times? I had two papers to divy out. Oh well, I'm sure the Marshall made good use of the Washington Post while he was thinking things over.

User avatar
Marshall

I also have to confess. Colonel's 7.62's firing squad while you have been...er deliberating, has gotten quite bored.



User avatar
I think that we should take over the <a href="https://www.pantex.com/">PanTex plant</a> in Amarillo. After all, that's where they make the nuclear bombs.

User avatar
Image
Comrades and Criminals, Enough is Enough! Justice denied is justice delayed, or something like that. I am ready to rule in the People vs The Gang of Four. Before reading the verdict, I wish to thank the valiant comrades who stepped up to ensure justice was done. Actually, I was tempted to denounce Kommisar Blogunov for failing to provide a competent defense for the Gang of Four by failing to reveal the crimes they had committed and later confessed to. But then on review I saw the way that the counsel for the defense worked together with the People's Prosecuter Pinkie to bring these four to justice. Kommissar Blogunov led the gang to start denouncing others and blaming Bush, while the People's Prosecutor Pinkie's appearance led to their confessions. A special ration of beets should go out to Colonel 7.62 for his steadfast attention to keeping the trial on course.

First off, I want the record to be clear, this has not been an easy case to oversee, but my duty is clear. I have studied past precedents and Show Trials, kept up to date with the broadcasts from the Hero Space Dog, consulted the Constitution for Dummies (written by the Chairman in those intermittent periods of lucidity), and I have evaluated similar cases from the European Union and the United Nations. Finally of course, I considered the standards put forth by Comrade Obama and will rule based on my own gut feelings of what is right and what is less right. As a dog-person, I can feel and judge better than those dead white European males that previous courts relied on, and not bound by “the rule of law” so valued by the neo-cons, non-progressive imperialist war mongers.

I was moved by the defense exhibits that were presented, and found the food and drink most refreshing, and after weighing, counting, appraising the value, and investing these exhibits, I have made sure they were all put to good use or secured as needed.

It is clear to this court that the Gang of Four are clearly guilty of all the charges brought forth against them as well as those they have confessed to. However, they have clearly demonstrated the values that the Party is based upon – confession, denouncing of others, groveling, backstabbing, and willingness to suspend belief if necessary to further the Common Good™. It is my sincere belief that they have demonstrated their love for the Party and will continue to be an asset to the Party – at least as long as we keep the record of their crimes should it be useful in the future, for as we know, there is no such thing as statute of limitations or double jeopardy in the People's Court.

Hold your beets Comrades! I am not finished. While I have declared your innocence of the charges you were tried on, there are some other issues to be addressed.

First off, in spite of, or even perhaps due to, the defense offered up by the People's Prosecutor, I still find that you failed basic Progressive People's First Aid by not taking proper precautions and waving some OPM under my nose.

This Gang of Four also failed to present the proper Form PS-666SCR3WM3 necessary to hear their pleas. Some used the wrong pencil, others failed to spell their names correctly, and all of them failed to provide the required deposit. This simply can not be over looked!
Finally, I must consider the effect of my ruling these four as innocent on the other proles in the collective and also the effect this would have on the need for Party discipline For the Children™.

Therefore, it is the ruling of this court that the Gang of Four be remanded to the Karl Marx Re-education Center – Ranchero West for further orientation under the tutelage of Commissar Theocritus and Bruno.

Now don't go crying about it not being fair…. Of course it is not fair by the pathetic standards of those on the insane right, but I also must point out that you will not be in the same camp with ordinary KMRC inmates. I understand that the Inner Circle has further plans for you four, provided you survive. The down side is that it is summertime, and Bruno…. Well, it is summer dress for Bruno… and he does enjoy lounging around the pool…may Lenin have mercy on you all. And remember… it is For the Children™!

Now let's party like there is no tomorrow! Print us up some OPM and print plenty so we can have a little to throw away to the sheeple to keep them satisfied.

User avatar
Hail Judge Pupovich! You have shown great wisdom and cleverness.

Now that you have rendered your fair, and balanced judgement, may I bill the Gang of Four for the time I spent denouncing them?

User avatar
Oh, thank you most merciful and equal comrade, Marshall Pupovich. We are most grateful for your fair and equal, but unequal, and yet equal decision rendered.

Of course you are more equal that the "white male" oppressors of all progs, and being a dog, you have senses and sensibilities that would make you most qualified for the supreme court of our glorious system, and if questioned by those in the inner circle, I'm sure you would have no secrets, no soda pop can stories, no bad ass teasing of any administrative assistants in your history.

I am most humbled by the court, but please, I'm afraid of the nano-Jimmie Carter rabbits. I have had nightmares about them ever since Comrade Theocritus revealed their existence. Bruno, I can deal with, but not those nasty little creatures.

User avatar
Yaaaaawwwwwwwnnnnnn! Is it morning yet?

Has the showtrial ended? Am I dead yet?

Is it time for the cock to crow? Oh... ok....


Cock-Aaaaahhhhhhh-Doooooooooooooodle-Doooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo
oooooooooooo
ooooooooooo
oooooooooo
ooooooooo
oooooooo
ooooooo
oooooo
ooooo
oooo
ooo
oo
o
--oooooo!!!!!!!

ahk, uhoooey, blahhk...



*CROAK!*

User avatar
Image
Marshall,

A wise and most equal ruling. It has been an honor having you as Judge.

Image Marshall,

A wise and most equal ruling. It has been an honor having you as judge.


Under the wise guidance of Comissar Theo I present the above as my most equal compliments on the way you have handle this trial for the common good.

User avatar
fffff-OPM!?! fffff-vvDidvvvv zzzzaa Hhhhhonorablezz Judgevvv seyzz ffff-OPM!?!... I, fff-Igorzz fVonzz fffYugozz, havez fff-brotzzz OPMzzzz!
Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image
...havz ah-fff niczz dayzzz...

*slllllluuuuuuuurrrrrrpp*

_______________
Igor, what are you doing playing with those bills? Put them back where you found them, at once--yes in these cardboard boxes! I can't make my next post unless this money is safely stored in the boxes! Go on, there's a good intern.

--Commissarka Pinkie

User avatar
Comrades:

While judgment has finally been passed, it is my duty to inform all of you that as Special Prosecutor, my investigation will continue until I have all the information necessary to complete an official report. As you can see by all of these cardboard boxes behind me, I still have thousands of pages of documents to sift through and analyze, and I've just learned there will be more coming after the next big spending bill gets rammed through Congress, thus funding the office of Special Prosecutor for the next fiscal year, though we may not see all the results for at least another ten years yet.

That's why it's so important that all of you contact your representatives and tell them they need to pass it NOW!!!--before it's too late to reverse the dire consequences of my not being able to continue my investigation--consequences that will endanger the lives of our children, our children's children, and all future generations for the next ten centuries unless Congress acts NOW!!!

Another reason I'm looking forward to the day they pass that bill is all the news outlets will be running fresh new stories about Bo's latest tricks and the wonderfully creative and unique ways Michelle likes to button her cardigans. It's so refreshing to finally have in the White House a devious, mischief-making dog and a First Lady who cares so much about how she looks!

(Is it just me, or is there something weirdly redundant about that last sentence?)

User avatar
Leninka wrote:Oh, thank you most merciful and equal comrade, Marshall Pupovich. We are most grateful for your fair and equal, but unequal, and yet equal decision rendered.....

I am most humbled by the court, but please, I'm afraid of the nano-Jimmie Carter rabbits. I have had nightmares about them ever since Comrade Theocritus revealed their existence. Bruno, I can deal with, but not those nasty little creatures.

You are most welcome Comrade, it was my pleasure to serve the Party, my pleasure indeed! You really should not have to worry about the Jimmy Carter nano-rabbits, or should I just say, nanobbits. Commissar Theocritus has little to do with them other than being case zero. I invented the nano bot rabbits, he was merely the first case of infection. The dear Commissar had invested much OPM into developing a defense against talent shitting pigeons, and so my research and development department, in it's never ending search for the means to defend the Party, came up with the nanobbits. Then again, since you are going to be spending some time down there, I suppose the best bet for you would be to stay still and quiest as much as possible, and what ever you do, do not read, watch, or even think about anything that the former felon Ronald Reagan ever did. Jimmy Carter nano-rabbits positively hate RR.

User avatar
Colonel 7.62 wrote:Hail Judge Pupovich! You have shown great wisdom and cleverness.

Now that you have rendered your fair, and balanced judgement, may I bill the Gang of Four for the time I spent denouncing them?

You wait til now to bill them? What would you have done had they been summarily shot Comrade?

User avatar
I see the People's Prosecutor is up and about this fine Socialist morning! Great job Commissarka, and you are most correct about the need to print more OPM so your investigation continues. The seriousness of the charges makes that all too clear.

User avatar
Marshall

I've obtained some video from the Commissarka One of her investigators left no stone un-turned in trying to gather further evidence agaisn't us.

You should be proud of her staff and efforts!!!



User avatar
I am too lazy to read all four pages of the thread, so I denounce everyone who posted on it for making it so long.

User avatar
Marshal Pupovich wrote:
Colonel 7.62 wrote:Hail Judge Pupovich! You have shown great wisdom and cleverness.

Now that you have rendered your fair, and balanced judgement, may I bill the Gang of Four for the time I spent denouncing them?

You wait til now to bill them? What would you have done had they been summarily shot Comrade?

Drain most of their blood before the shooting and harvest their organs, then send a bill for the ammunition, and the time spent harvesting blood and organs to the next of kin.

User avatar
Comrade Joe wrote:I am too lazy to read all four pages of the thread, so I denounce everyone who posted on it for making it so long.

I denounce Comrade Joe for not following this important People's Show Trial. Given as it was broadcast 12 hours a day on State TV, and Party Radio, how could you have missed it? Did you take your tinfoil hat off again?

User avatar
Colonel 7.62 wrote:
Comrade Joe wrote:I am too lazy to read all four pages of the thread, so I denounce everyone who posted on it for making it so long.

I denounce Comrade Joe for not following this important People's Show Trial. Given as it was broadcast 12 hours a day on State TV, and Party Radio, how could you have missed it? Did you take your tinfoil hat off again?

I denounce Colonel 7.62 for not remembering that my tinfoil hat was stolen by the rethuglikkkans while I slept and the State has not yet issued me a new one.

User avatar
The Fresh Smell of OPM(TM) lights up a my old Krony nose.... get more wears for fellow travelers... right here...

<embed wmode="transparent" src="https://www.zazzle.com/utl/getpanel?zp= ... 1934274750" FlashVars="feedId=117956571934274750" width="450" height="300" TYPE="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br><a href="https://thepeoplescube.com/Store.php">Get Re-Educated</a> at <a href="https://www.https://thepeoplescube.com/ ... .com/">The Peoples Cube Store >>></a>

User avatar
Comrade Joe wrote:
I denounce Colonel 7.62 for not remembering that my tinfoil hat was stolen by the rethuglikkkans while I slept and the State has not yet issued me a new one.

I denounce Comrade Joe for not reporting the loss on the People's Blog(TM), and for not following the show trial on State TV. Or will you have me believe your TV was broken too? If so, why then did you not listen to the loudspeakers at your place of employment? You cannot escape the Party Line(TM) and showing your ignorance in these proceedings shows me that you in fact were dodging the Party Truth(TM).

User avatar
Colonel 7.62 wrote:
Comrade Joe wrote:
I denounce Colonel 7.62 for not remembering that my tinfoil hat was stolen by the rethuglikkkans while I slept and the State has not yet issued me a new one.

I denounce Comrade Joe for not reporting the loss on the People's Blog(TM), and for not following the show trial on State TV. Or will you have me believe your TV was broken too? If so, why then did you not listen to the loudspeakers at your place of employment? You cannot escape the Party Line(TM) and showing your ignorance in these proceedings shows me that you in fact were dodging the Party Truth(TM).

I denounce Colonel 7.62 for not remembering that I am an authorized Party Telecommuter, and therefore there are no loudspeakers where I work. I similarly denounce him for failing to realize that I have no TV.

User avatar
Get your own thread, you two.

I denounce both of you equally.

User avatar
Marshal Pupovich wrote:
Leninka wrote:Oh, thank you most merciful and equal comrade, Marshall Pupovich. We are most grateful for your fair and equal, but unequal, and yet equal decision rendered.....

I am most humbled by the court, but please, I'm afraid of the nano-Jimmie Carter rabbits. I have had nightmares about them ever since Comrade Theocritus revealed their existence. Bruno, I can deal with, but not those nasty little creatures.

You are most welcome Comrade, it was my pleasure to serve the Party, my pleasure indeed! You really should not have to worry about the Jimmy Carter nano-rabbits, or should I just say, nanobbits. Commissar Theocritus has little to do with them other than being case zero. I invented the nano bot rabbits, he was merely the first case of infection. The dear Commissar had invested much OPM into developing a defense against talent shitting pigeons, and so my research and development department, in it's never ending search for the means to defend the Party, came up with the nanobbits. Then again, since you are going to be spending some time down there, I suppose the best bet for you would be to stay still and quiet as much as possible, and what ever you do, do not read, watch, or even think about anything that the former felon Ronald Reagan ever did. Jimmy Carter nano-rabbits positively hate RR.

Finally, the true history comes out about the origins of these creatures. With those 100 degree temperatures, you can be assured I will stay quiet. I will remain in a catatonic state until October. That is, unless of course, I am called to duty. Then, I will slug around, and wipe up after Bruno, I suppose, while Comrade Theocritus reclines comfortably in the only air conditioned room at the ranch.

User avatar
Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Comrades:

It's so refreshing to finally have in the White House a devious, mischief-making dog and a First Lady who cares so much about how she looks!

(Is it just me, or is there something weirdly redundant about that last sentence?)

Commissarka Pinkie,

You are completely mistaken. Our Dear First Lady bears no resemblance whatsoever to a mischief making canine.

Image

User avatar
Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote:Marshall

I've obtained some video from the Commissarka One of her investigators left no stone un-turned in trying to gather further evidence agaisn't us.

You should be proud of her staff and efforts!!!

That was an inspiring insight into the Kommissarka's investigation. Is it any wonder that she is able to get to the facts such as they are?

User avatar
Leninka wrote: Finally, the true history comes out about the origins of these creatures. With those 100 degree temperatures, you can be assured I will stay quiet. I will remain in a catatonic state until October. That is, unless of course, I am called to duty. Then, I will slug around, and wipe up after Bruno, I suppose, while Comrade Theocritus reclines comfortably in the only air conditioned room at the ranch.

Yes Comrade, I am most proud of my Jimmy Carter nano rabbits. They have proven to be most useful indeed. However, apparently one of them had a program glitch that attacked my computer. This caused some delay in your trial. But then again, it also gave me time to ponder the case more deeply and so ensure justice was done.

User avatar
Sorry I've been absent; I've been setting up the Rancho de Rio Grande for the continuing-education seminar. Which is what re-education will now be called. Since no one is perfectly educated we all walk step by step down the long but straight road in the Progressive World of Next Tuesday(tm).

The nano Jimmy Carter rabbits have proven to be most useful. They have chased away all the roaches and the rattlesnakes. And they've learned to keep away from people, or at least people with high heels. Once they surrounded Bruno, hissing, "Nuclar! Nuclar!" and he pull off one of his size-14 stiletto-heeled pumps and drove the heel right through the head of the nearest one. I swear. He can't hit a trash can with a make-up laden Q-tip but he can spike a nano Jimmy Carter rabbit in the head 10 out of 10 times. While singing,

"What use [Whack!] is staying [Whack!]
Alone in your room? [Whack! Whack! Whack!]
Come hear the music play! [Whack! Whack! Whack!]

I think he aims for the teeth. They're bright and shiny you know.

It was grisly; the walls were covered with a green ichor which is what I suppose that they have for blood but the ones that survived ran like hell.

So all who are coming here for continuing education will be issued stiletto-heeled pumps, just for peace of mind.

User avatar
Commissar, one of the reasons I invented the nano rabbits was for them to explore strange new places, uncoover hidden OPM, to go where even the Chairman has never gone before. That explains why they are so useful in chasing away roaches, and why my OPM account has grown so much.

I do hope you are able to rehabilitate this Gang of Four....I assume your impaling stakes are in readiness should there be any "failure to communicate." Then again, I would imagine the image of Bruno in his swim wear would be sufficient.

User avatar
*sniff* *sniff* errrrrr..... Aha! OPM! I am alive again!

Excellent comrades, not one of you fretted the Asshole of The Aviary's(TM) death. I am most impressed. Like good socialists who HATE The Robber Barron's(TM), you all celebrated at my death! Now as good socialists throw a Giant Collective Party(TM), AFTER the hard work of burning a path through nature is accomplished and spit on the graves of all those who accomplished it, you too sing and glorify the death of The Rooster.

You are true comrades, and so I have this to confess, I have been busy for some time in Moonbat caves taking out useless proles of The Revolution(TM) and it has transformed me... do not be shocked comrades... but....

Image
Yes comrades dark caves indeed, in fact Marshall Pupovich may be most fond of what I found...

Image

And so comrades I still search for this criminal... he is the darkest criminal of them all... if you saw him you would know it... and comrades, beware he will intoxicate you with sardonia and eat you while you laugh at your own demise...

Image
and she er... he... er... it lives here >>>>>

User avatar
Sitizvens!

Da Goodz Doctvers havzzz ffffff-requested-zzz ffff-that all-zzz Criminals and Prosecution ffffff-report-zzz fffff to-zzzzz my Dungeon(TM) for-zzzz Party Approved Torture(TM).

User avatar
Igor, you can have what's left after my impaling stakes. The particularly recalcitrant comrades will be serenaded as they squirm on the stakes by Bruno singing his new arrangement of "Tico, Tico" with a hip-hop beat.

User avatar
Why not an electronica Mozart tune, or better yet Alana Morsette, I bet Bruno just loves Alana!

User avatar
My ears! My ears! My bleeding ears!

Actually Bruno loves J-Lo. He doesn't love it however when I play, over and over, that South Park episode
<div><object width="512" height="322"><param name="movie" value="https://d.yimg.com/video.yahoo.com/yep/ ... 40"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="AllowScriptAccess" VALUE="always"><param name="bgcolor" value="#000000"><param name="flashVars" value="id=6476100&vid=2051508&#12296;=en-us&intl=us&thumbUrl=http%3A//l.yimg.com/a/p/i/bcst/videosearch/1927/58173653.jpeg&embed=1"><embed src="https://d.yimg.com/video.yahoo.com/yep/ ... ver=2.2.40" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="512" height="322" allowFullScreen="true" AllowScriptAccess="always" bgcolor="#000000" flashVars="id=6476100&vid=2051508&#12296;=en-us&intl=us&thumbUrl=http%3A//l.yimg.com/a/p/i/bcst/videosearch/1927/58173653.jpeg&embed=1"></embed></object><br><a href="https://video.yahoo.com/watch/2051508/6476100">South Park Tacco Flaverd Kisses</a> @ <a href="https://video.yahoo.com">Yahoo! Video</a></div>

Cartman makes a video with a hand-puppet of Jennifer Lopez which is so good that the studio fires the real Jennifer Lopez. Cartman sits up all night writing music. "Miss Lopez, your music is so simple that it's no trouble at all to write."

Ben Affleck falls in love with the hand-puppet, which keeps saying, "I love tacos and burritos." And it is thoroughly disobliging to a nasty, jumped-up little bit of work.

This is funnier than Mr. Creosote in <i>The Meaning of Life</i>.

User avatar
Commissar Theo,

I'm am glad you are seeing to the preparations for our stay at Rancho Del Rio Grande, as we carry out our sentence that the Marshall handed down. In order to help you with your preparations and ensure our experience is in lock-step with the Marshall's directive that we be educated in proper prog behavior 24 / 7, under your esteemed tutelage.
I have to inform you of the following, I have been placed by the Party doctors under some very strict dietary standards and proper rest protocol.

1. I prefer to sleep in. I usually rise about 9:30, if you start the coffee pot at about 9:10 it should be ready by the time I get up. Black, no sugar by the way.
2. Eggs….sunny side up and a bit runny, I like to dip the yolk part in my toast.
3. Lunch should be light as to not upset my delicate innards with digestive issues before dinner. Crab salad or a nice soup will do.
4. My afternoon nap usually goes from about 1 to 2.
5. Dinner, all steaks should be served medium rare and the butter used with the lobster for dipping should be of the “light” variety.
6. Red Rooster usually tucks me in at 10 pm and reads me bedtime stories until I fall asleep.

I hope you find this information helpful as you prepare for my arrival.

User avatar
Comrade Snoogie Woogums,

Are we related? Dipping your toast in the runny yoke? Steaks medium rare? Rising late? Birds of a feather.

User avatar
Red Rooster wrote:
Yes comrades dark caves indeed, in fact Marshall Pupovich may be most fond of what I found...

Image

Comrade Rooster, I am most impressed with both your transformation into the Dark Rooster, and the clarity of your photo of one of my Jimmy Carter nano rabbits. It is difficult indeed to find one of the nanobbits on a specimen slide much less to resolve the image so clearly. I see that is a Series 2.01 model.

User avatar
Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote:Commissar Theo,

I'm am glad you are seeing to the preparations for our stay at Rancho Del Rio Grande, as we carry out our sentence that the Marshall handed down. In order to help you with your preparations and ensure our experience is in lock-step with the Marshall's directive that we be educated in proper prog behavior 24 / 7, under your esteemed tutelage.
I have to inform you of the following, I have been placed by the Party doctors under some very strict dietary standards and proper rest protocol.

1. I prefer to sleep in. I usually rise about 9:30, if you start the coffee pot at about 9:10 it should be ready by the time I get up. Black, no sugar by the way.
2. Eggs….sunny side up and a bit runny, I like to dip the yolk part in my toast.
3. Lunch should be light as to not upset my delicate innards with digestive issues before dinner. Crab salad or a nice soup will do.
4. My afternoon nap usually goes from about 1 to 2.
5. Dinner, all steaks should be served medium rare and the butter used with the lobster for dipping should be of the “light” variety.
6. Red Rooster usually tucks me in at 10 pm and reads me bedtime stories until I fall asleep.

I hope you find this information helpful as you prepare for my arrival.

Comrade Snoogie Woogums..... I am most impressed! You have validated my judgment of you!

User avatar
Snoogie, I shall see to all to that of course

....Bruno! Bruno! Get a load of this. Snoogie Woogums thinks that the Rancho is a resort. How much fun it will be as he and the other members of the gang wind up pulling up mesquite bushes with nothing but a shovel and a pipe. Fed on old frijoles and moldy tortillas, and on Sunday some old potatoes thrown in.....

Gang of Four, to make your stay even more entertaining, I have arranged for some light entertainment for you. Bruno and Charro, who is now over 70, will do the Qualities of Mercy rhumba for you, to be followed kindergarteners singing opera.

User avatar
Oh Theo, I have to have several tons of lead melted and cast into bullets for the Red Guard. I'll happily pay you to have the Gang of Four melt down and cast the lead. Preferably during the hottest part of the day, and with no vapor protection. I imagine you can use the same pots for cooking as melting.

User avatar
That's a good idea. But we also need to have the Gang of Four doing community service. Which means of course learning shiatsu massage to give to esteemed party leaders.

Rosie O'Donnell.
Our Many Titted Empress.
Nansky Peloski.
Teddy Kennedy.

User avatar
Comrade Marshal,

with great humility and inawedness I accept the ruling of your court. As your most humble servant, I am gratefully looking forward to the Continued Education Seminars at Comrade Vlad's estate. In true Berlin form, that is, clad in various states of (un)dress consisting of strips of leather procured from the VEB Beate Uhse, I will happily be giving out massages to the 4 aforementioned members of the party elite and to any member of the cube nomenclatura, as The Party sees fit. The more calloused, flaking, exzema ridden skin, the better. The hairy types, such as Rosie, are most welcome. Especially if they like whips.

User avatar
I DENOUNCE Snoogie Woogums and Leninka for the hate crime of having carnivore fantasies! Meat is murder! (Tasty, tasty murder...)

User avatar
Marshal Pupovich wrote: Comrade Rooster, I am most impressed with both your transformation into the Dark Rooster, and the clarity of your photo of one of my Jimmy Carter nano rabbits. It is difficult indeed to find one of the nanobbits on a specimen slide much less to resolve the image so clearly. I see that is a Series 2.01 model.

Your Honor Judge Marshal Pupovich,

It is the least we could do after your most equal and gracious leading of this Showtrial. We are most in awe of your acclaim and esteem in The Party™. We thank you sincerely for your service to The Party™. It is your precedence of power that we bow before in this court.

Your Humble (Yet Equal Dammit) Servant,

Red Rooster

User avatar
RR, Pieck, since you're now comrades of the Inner Circle, I'll let you in on a secret. Throw Pupovich a bone and everything's just fine. He rolls over on his back, his paws in the air, his soft furry underbelly exposed, and you can get away with hell.

It works every time. Except for the ossiferous semantic confusion that Bruno had when I told the Chairman that we'd throw Pupovich a bone.

"You wouldn't <i>dare</i>!"

Such an idiot.


User avatar
Comrade Commissar, are Marshal Pupovich and Comrade Evil, M.D., related? I can hear the former bark "Throw me a freakin' bone here..."

Glad to assist, Comrade Marshal. What shall it be, beef, pork, sheep, elk, moose, elephant, rhino, or perhaps some almost-necro-species?

User avatar
Pigeon, Pieck, pigeon. That of the talent-shitting pigeons of course.

And may he choke on them while the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits hiss, "Nuclar! Nuclar! Nuclar!" around him. I actually found talent-shitting pigeon shit just over my kitchen window in the courtyard! Not to mention on my garage door. And there's nothing to perch on above either one. Nothing.

These are bombardier pigeons, and Pupovich will pay. A visit from Meow is in order, like a visit from Elizabeth I, who went on her Royal Progress throughout the noble houses of England, and bankrupted them.

User avatar
Pigeon? As in carrier pigeon? This explains a lot...

User avatar
Pupovich's pigeons are rats with wings. Rodents. That's why they're so similar to the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits--all those teeth. Did you hear that while he was in the White House Jimmy used to gnaw on the Oval Office desk? He only has enamel on the outside of his teeth.

User avatar
Commissar Theocritus, you always tell everyone that if you throw me a bone, I roll over on my back etc. Here is a chance to see. As judge of the Show Trial, I feel it is my duty to follow up on your training and disposition of the Gang of Four. In addition, I will wish to see this alleged damage from my Talent Shitting pigeons as well as my Jimmy Carter Nano Rabbits.

I have but one request.... for now, and that is for the sort of barbecue for which your name is famed from the southwest to the filthy bowels of the house that Comrades Nancy and Harry built. I would hope that my meal would include some broiled virgin with Comrade Idi's barbecue sauce, Chairman's original rat on a stick, and some brain salad.

But would it be possible for you to provide some Progressive Brain Salad? You usually serve rethuglican brain salad since as we both know that you serve that because the supply is so plentiful and thus lighter on your pocket book. But this is a special event, what with the successful conclusion of the Show Trial and the tremendous progress that our dear leader Obama has overseen. Progressive brain salad is most expensive, but it's higher fat content makes it so much more delicious, and I am sure you must have a few progressive inmates in your possession. It would be most appreciated Commissar.

User avatar
Genosse Pieck wrote:Comrade Marshal,

with great humility and inawedness I accept the ruling of your court.

Comrade, it was my honor to judge you and provide a just sentence for you and your companions in crime. Just remember to mention that you were sent by Marshal Pupovich when the guards confiscate all of your belongings when you arrive at the Commissar Theocritus KMRC Southwest facility. It will make me eligible for the Frequent Condemnation Tote bag and the shiny golden gavel pin. You should also make sure you have your Frequent Sentencing card punched as I am sure you will no doubt earn quite a few more points over the years in service to the Cube.

User avatar
Pupovich, of course I'll provide you with Prog brain salad, if you wish, but let me tempt you with battered deep-fried Prog brains. These are truly wondrous, served with a truffled béarnaise.

The truffles are found by Rosie O'Donnell on all fours, when she's in truffling mode. No one can find a tree with truffles under it better than Rosie. Once she went to the south of France and was kidnapped for five years for her ability to find white truffles.

I serve this with a dish of sauteed chanterelles in an orange demiglace.

Of course it's called mixed beet surprise on the menu.

User avatar
That sounds wonderful, but my heart is still set on Progressive Brain Salad. Speaking of this, I was just thinking that perhaps Comrade Brain in a Jar Betinov is quite progressive (and tender) don't you think? I am sure he would not mind sacrificing for the Common Good™.

User avatar
Bear in mind, Pupovich, Brain in a Jar is a made progressive which means that he is more equal than others. Which means that he doesn't have to share. Any more than you or I do.

User avatar
But Comrade Brain in a Jar has such a nice pink and gray marbling.... I am sure he would make an excellent Brain salad!

User avatar
That's it, Pupovich! You're getting nano Jimmy Carter rabbit on a stick. And quit whining!

User avatar
No! No! I am too equal for that! OK, perhaps there is some room for compromise. I will have to turn my sights for progressive brain salad from the dear Comrade in a Jar....with great sadness.


 
POST REPLY