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Islamists Rethink Position On Gay Marriage

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We're here. We're queer. We've got bombs strapped to our chest

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Soldiers manning a checkpoint near Baghdad stopped a wedding convoy to find that the purported bride and groom were wanted terror suspects, an Iraqi Defense Ministry official said Monday.

Upon inspecting the convoy, soldiers found a stubbly-faced man, Haider al-Bahadli, decked out in a white bride's dress and veil. Bahadli was wanted on terror-related charges, as was his groom, Abbas al-Dobbi, the official said.

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"It was horrible. My husband picked a burqa for me, and it made me look fat."

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"I was given anti-American propaganda as a party favor."

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"I got a cookie, but I can't eat it because my diet."

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Ummmmmm how may "positions' can there be in Islamic Gay Marriage?

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Comrade Hasan -

I hope you don't mind me making some graphic improvements on your idea.

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I hear they received an anal dildo in the shape of a stick of dynamite as a wedding present.

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Red Square wrote:Comrade Hasan -

I hope you don't mind me making some graphic improvements on your idea.
Of course not, I like it!

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I want to see the bloody bedsheet to confirm the consumation.
What about the dowery of 16 she-goats and one slightly used camel?

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Nine months after the consummation there will be a birth. How do you think mullahs are hatched?

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"The soldiers became suspicious of the convoy because its members -- save the "bride" -- were all male and because one of the cars in the convoy did not heed orders to stop, the official said."

This is the worst case of profiling I've ever heard of. What's so strange about most of the wedding party members being male? That may be a bit odd in the west, but certainly not in the Lands of Islam.

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At Islamic wedding feasts, the men and women are separated by a curtain. And I believe that the consummation must be witnessed to prove that the girl is indeed a virgin. Women who have had gynecological work which removed the scars of their genital mutilation to insure their worth request that the scarring be replicated, fearing death at the hands of their relatives for the imagined disgrace of not remaining mutilated.

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"[highlight=#ffff99]And I believe that the consummation must be witnessed to prove that the girl is indeed a virgin.[/highlight]"

You are correct Father Prog (as usual). I've often wondered if there is such a thing as a Professional Witness for occasions such as this. If so, what would that be listed in the phone book as? Would the Witness then provide a suitable, frame-able certificate?

"Oh look honey, I've found the Certificate. See, there in the photo? That's proof Ahmed! There goes your grounds for divorce Mr I Know a Virgin When I see One."

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I see a service selling fake blood and bits of hymen. After all, if the bones of Christ and bits of the True Cross could be hawked in the Middle Ages, why not these things?

I see a fine use for Planned Parenthood. They have been giving advice on how to run an underage prostitution ring, or what they thought was one (posing the question of how many real ones they helped), so they can use their abortion doctors to stitch up a Muslim "working girl" before her forced marriage to her cousin.

Planned Parenthood: We'll make you a Virgo Intacta!


 
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