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Isn't it time you upgraded your Race Card to a Gay Card?

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[img]/images/Gay_Card_Race_Card.jpg[/img]

Comrades, glorious news! You can now upgrade your old, outdated Race Card™ to a Gay Card™! What's a Gay Card? Why, it's like the old fashioned Race Card, but on steroids.

You see, the venerable Race Card is starting to lose its edge, and white people are becoming less and less prone to bouts of guilt, self-doubt, and introspective soul searching for deep, subconscious, genetically coded racist tendencies. In fact, some white people even laugh off the Race Card when it's presented.

But those days are over! That's right, with the new Gay Card you can do anything the old Race Card could do, and more!

For example, do you want to use spurious constitutional arguments to insist your rights trump the rights of others? Would you like to demand access to the privately owned property and services of others all the while retaining the right to deny services to those who disagree with you? Are you looking for Victim Status™ even if you happen to have the misfortune of being white?

Well, then, it's time you upgraded to the powerful new Gay Card!

Use the chart below to compare...

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Why settle for this?

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When you could have this!

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Upgrade today, comrades. The Gay Card™ is the best thing since the ObamaPhone.

UPDATE FOR PARTY MEMBERS:

As Comrade Gummipuppe points out in the comments below, Party members should also read the small print - namely, the Useful Idiot Clause in the Terms of Agreement:

This kard shall expire upon kompletion of the the "fundamental transformation" of Amerika. At that time, kard holders shall be subject to penalties, inkluding, but not limited to: discrimination, persekution, imprisonment, torture, forced labor, and death under the laws and direktives enakted and upheld by the Peoples Kongress, the Supreme Soviet, and Komrade Glorious Leader. Do not use this kard while kriticizing Komrade Glorious Leader and other high party officials, as this may decrease your life expectancy. Use at your own risk.


Wasn't it A. J. Foyt that made a living off of his race card?

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RedDiaperette wrote:Muslim Card trumps all.
Good point, Comrade RD. This is why I converted to the religion that founded tolerance, science, and women's rights.

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Lev Termen wrote:Wasn't it A. J. Foyt that made a living off of his race card?
That was an unfortunate administrative error. As soon as his ethnicity was determined and it was discovered that he was guilty of winning in a competitive environment, his Race Cardwas immediately revoked, his Victim Statusterminated, and he was promptly fined.

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There's got to be a combined Race/Gay/Muslim Card - sort of like MULTI PASS. Where do I get one?

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Blessings upon the Agitprop Department for adding a little gaiety to this post.

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What's in your wallets, komrades?

I hate to be the wet babushka here, but did any of you read the Useful Idiot clause in the cards' Terms of Agreement? It states:

"This kard shall expire upon kompletion of the the "fundamental transformation" of Amerika. At that time, kard holders shall be subject to penalties, inkluding, but not limited to: discrimination, persekution, imprisonment, torture, forced labor, and death under the laws and direktives enakted and upheld by the Peoples Kongress, the Supreme Soviet, and Komrade Glorious Leader. Do not use this kard while kriticizing Komrade Glorious Leader and other high party officials, as this may increase your chances of premature death. Use at your own risk."

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Gummipuppe wrote:...did any of you read the Useful Idiot clause in the cards' Terms of Agreement? It states:

"This kard shall expire upon kompletion of the the "fundamental transformation" of Amerika. At that time, kard holders shall be subject to penalties, inkluding, but not limited to: discrimination, persekution, imprisonment, torture, forced labor, and death under the laws and direktives enakted and upheld by the Peoples Kongress, the Supreme Soviet, and Komrade Glorious Leader. Do not use this kard while kriticizing Komrade Glorious Leader and other high party officials, as this may increase your chances of premature death. Use at your own risk."
The Force of the Party is strong with you, Komrade Gummipuppe! However, some things are issued in small print for a purpose. What happens in small print, stays in small print. That's until the time the Party deems necessary to blast those things to the size of Pravda headlines and official propaganda posters.

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What's in your wallet, komrade?
Hand it over.

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Red Square wrote:...The Force of the Party is strong with you, Komrade Gummipuppe! However, some things are issued in small print for a purpose. What happens in small print, stays in small print. That's until the time the Party deems necessary to blast those things to the size of Pravda headlines and official propaganda posters.

Thank you, komrade RS. As a diligent student of Karl Marx, Vlad Lenin, and Saul Alinsky, the force has become strong with me. I have learned that the ends justify the means when it comes to using idiots to eliminate politikal opposition and grow the party's power and control over the proletariat.

Don't all members of the Film Actors' Guild automatically get these Gay Cards?



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You all should be ashamed of yourselves! You, Komissar al-Blogunov brag about converting to the religion that founded tolerance, science, and WOMEN'S RIGHTS? Really?

And you, Comrade RS, are looking for a MULTI-PASS card that includes Race/Gay/Muslim. That's it? Really? Seriously?

An RGM MULTI PASS is all you want? Unbelievable. I am astonished.

If Kommissarka Pinkie knew about this she would blow a gasket! Haven't you forgotten something? Hmmm?

O.K., I'll give you a hint. It's the WOMEN'S CARD you jerks! What is the matter with you people?

Well, lucky for you, I have found the perfect video to keep you from Pinkie's wrath as well as protect you from serious sexist attacks if you don't have the proper card.

I will admit, with all due respect to the artist, after all, she was just trying to make a living, that this is the lamest tome for women's rights I have ever heard. It was a major hit when it was written and, after all, that's what really counts. Right, Comrades? Here it is:



You have to admit, nuthin' says sexy like a woman who can roar!

Oh, and Lev Terman, since you mentioned A.J.Foyt, I was present at the opening night party of the Metropolitan Opera held in Indianapolis, at his estate. He introduced me to a person I would rather forget. I was a member of the company.

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After posting this, I was quite touched by it. Things were different then. Helen seems quite sincere. I'll take that.

Sorry I parodied you, dear Helen. Hope you can see the context I am speaking from.

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Обратите грязи. wrote:Can I play all my cards at once?

A full house?

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Pamalinsky, there is a memo you may have missed, so I'll bring you up to date. The Women's Card™ expired yesterday with the release of that movie. At one point, a woman's card entitled you to a gentleman willing to hold a door open for you, treat you to dinner, get you flowers, etc. But now it's only good for admission to an abusive relationship with some guy that feminists inexplicably swoon over.

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...and muchos spacebos to the Editorial Board for the promotion.

Macker wrote:Don't all members of the Film Actors' Guild automatically get these Gay Cards?

I think that's actually known as a SAG card, unless they're a member of the Fruity Activities Group, known in the vernacular as FAG SAG.

-------------------------

"My head hurts," said Pooh, "and now I have no health coverage to have it looked at."
"You're the one who voted for Obama," observed Eeyore.
"I am a Dem of Very Little Brain," commented Pooh, "and hard facts confuse me."


Pamalinsky wrote:
a) An RGM MULTI PASS is all you want? Unbelievable. I am astonished.

b) If Kommissarka Pinkie knew about this she would blow a gasket!

c) You have to admit, nuthin' says sexy like a woman who can roar!

d) Oh, and Lev Terman, since you mentioned A.J.Foyt, I was present at the opening night party of the Metropolitan Opera held in Indianapolis, at his estate. He introduced me to a person I would rather forget. I was a member of the company.

And here are the answers to the quiz:

a) I have an RGB multipass with great DPI and FYI, it scans like an SOB.

b) I'd pay good money to see that, as long as everyone was either behind or wearing ASTM-approved protective shields.

c) The XY half of the race has a somewhat different philosophy which I think might be described as "diametrically opposite."

d) A true Party member takes responsibility for their own bad marriage(s).

If you disagree with any of these answers, feel free to re-mark your test paper with the grade that should have been given by your T/A, and report heshe for mandatory re-grooving.



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I am reviewing my hand of the cards I collected from attendees at today's Diversity Event, and I will lead with a Red-Haired Afro-Palestinian Transgender Muslim Lesbian with Hispanic Surname and Size Ten Shoes. Top that one if you can!

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RedDiaperette wrote:I am reviewing my hand of the cards I collected from attendees at today's Diversity Event, and I will lead with a Red-Haired Afro-Palestinian Transgender Muslim Lesbian with Hispanic Surname and Size Ten Shoes. Top that one if you can!
The Progressive world is at your feet and is yours to command.

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Gummipuppe wrote:What's in your wallets, komrades?

I hate to be the wet babushka here, but did any of you read the Useful Idiot clause in the cards' Terms of Agreement? It states:

"This kard shall expire upon kompletion of the the "fundamental transformation" of Amerika. At that time, kard holders shall be subject to penalties, inkluding, but not limited to: discrimination, persekution, imprisonment, torture, forced labor, and death under the laws and direktives enakted and upheld by the Peoples Kongress, the Supreme Soviet, and Komrade Glorious Leader. Do not use this kard while kriticizing Komrade Glorious Leader and other high party officials, as this may increase your chances of premature death. Use at your own risk."
The good news is that our Useful Idiots never think it'll happen to them, and so they live in a little bubble of imagined security. All the while, they work tirelessly for the Great Struggle while anticipating some kind of reward for their efforts. That's what makes the 3:00am visits so much fun when the purges begin. The looks of bewilderment, astonishment, and indignation are just precious. "But I wrote for Daily KOS!" "Hey, I'm a protected minority!" "Get your hands off me, you brute!" Oh, how we roar with laughter when we watch the videos over and over again.

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
The good news is that our Useful Idiots never think it'll happen to them, and so they live in a little bubble of imagined security. All the while, they work tirelessly for the Great Struggle while anticipating some kind of reward for their efforts. That's what makes the 3:00am visits so much fun when the purges begin. The looks of bewilderment, astonishment, and indignation are just precious. "But I wrote for Daily KOS!" "Hey, I'm a protected minority!" "Get your hands off me, you brute!" Oh, how we roar with laughter when we watch the videos over and over again.

Yes. How true, komrade. Let them live in the bliss of ignorance and delusion as long as they vote korrektly and work tirelessly for the Great Struggle. Once the struggle is over, their usefulness will end.
BTW, I find it most humorous that some of these Useful Idiots™ own firearms and even have carry permits, yet they dutifully support the party's agenda to disarm the proletariat for their "safety" and "the children." In reality, the agenda was devised to make them easier to handle during the 3:00am visits.

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There was a discussion on our Facebook post leading to this thread. And there appeared a discussion thread there as well, which I have to repost here.

Jon Osborne wrote:I have a gay card. Sadly it doesn't get you much as an adult, though if you're in high school you're pretty much guaranteed a great time if you're into getting called names and being intimidated, harassed and occasionally assaulted. The race card is still the winner
Someone else wrote:So the standard for being exempt from the Constitution is getting picked on in high school? Get a life.
Jon Osborne wrote:Actually, I'm a libertarian. I'm not asking to be exempt from anything. Equality before the law is just fine with me. What I'm saying is that being gay doesn't get you 10 extra points on college admission or a leg up in employment. All it gets you is the occasional "faggot."
The People's Cube wrote:I was hoping this post would not be seen as gay-bashing but rather a commentary on the hustlers who would channel gay issues, just like they are channeling black issues, into a treasure trove of political points for themselves - while exposing random gay "passer-bys" to additional resentment unnecessarily.

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"The Race Card, the Gay Card, the Muslim Card..., these are all actually the passports of your citizenship in the various nations, States, that make up our world. You see the COEXIST bumper stickers on automobiles? COEXIST is written in the emblems of some of the States that must exist together. The States are the important thing. Not individuals. States are what make up the world. There are only States.

"When one State demands it's place in the sun and to have the other States recognize it by dealing with it as equals as by, as an example the Gay nation demanding that other nations engage in trade like wedding cakes and such, that State is simply demanding it's right as a legitimate nation in the world of nations.

"Thus, we are made up. A bundle of sticks so to speak. A bundle of States."

Doctor Utopia speaking to college students, Feb 15, 2015

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Just a point about what I'm really getting at here in this post: The right to property necessarily means the right to discriminate. Either that, or an offended Christian has just as much right to shut down a gay bakery and put it out of business. I prefer the right to discriminate in its literal sense - the right to choose whom I will or will not serve. If that right doesn't exist, then a Jewish baker could just as easily be compelled to bake a Nazi themed cake for a skinhead wedding. To be fair, I believe a gay owned bakery has a right to refuse business to whomever they wish, a Muslim barber has a right to refuse to cut a customer's hair, and Christians have a right to conduct their businesses consistently with their beliefs.
Can't we all just get along in mutual respect? These days, the answer is, "You hurt my feelings; I'll see you in court." When we can grow up, understand that not everybody sees things our way, and even learn to laugh at ourselves, the world will be a better place.

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:Just a point about what I'm really getting at here in this post...

A legitimate government is based on the consent of the governed. That which you can rightfully consent to is what you can rightfully delegate to another. You cannot delegate to another a "right" to take away the rights of another. Property, freedom of association, freedom to contract - these are basic individual rights that are necessary to live as a free individual. This self-governance IS the American experiment. To say that you have a "right" to take those fundamental rights away from another is to deny that person and ultimately everyone else of their right to govern their own lives.

By denying the fundamental rights that we have created a government to protect by the delegating to the government our right to self-defense the statists destroy a government based on consent of the governed - a government based on our fundamental individual rights and the delegation of power from us, the people, to the institution we created to protect us from just such a thing.

Legitimate government cannot deny you your property except in certain circumstances or else it is no longer legitimate government. The insistence on religious rights, as opposed to the fundamental principle of legitimate government, will not stop the statists.

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
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Just a point about what I'm really getting at here in this post: The right to property necessarily means the right to discriminate. Either that, or an offended Christian has just as much right to shut down a gay bakery and put it out of business. I prefer the right to discriminate in its literal sense - the right to choose whom I will or will not serve. If that right doesn't exist, then a Jewish baker could just as easily be compelled to bake a Nazi themed cake for a skinhead wedding. To be fair, I believe a gay owned bakery has a right to refuse business to whomever they wish, a Muslim barber has a right to refuse to cut a customer's hair, and Christians have a right to conduct their businesses consistently with their beliefs.
Can't we all just get along in mutual respect? These days, the answer is, "You hurt my feelings; I'll see you in court." When we can grow up, understand that not everybody sees things our way, and even learn to laugh at ourselves, the world will be a better place.
I hereby denounce Comrade Komissar al-Blogunov for using logic and making sense. Shame on you, Comrade! Hopefully your show trial will be quick and you can be re-educated back to an acceptable intelligence quotient.

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Kelly Ivanovna/келя ивановна wrote:I hereby denounce Comrade Komissar al-Blogunov for using logic and making sense. Shame on you, Comrade! Hopefully your show trial will be quick and you can be re-educated back to an acceptable intelligence quotient.
Oh, uh, those comments were so earlier today in my foolish and indiscreet youth. I mean, at this point, what difference does it make?

M84
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RedDiaperette wrote:Muslim Card trumps all.
This, of course, may still hold true for a while longer, but, first off, those of us misunfortunate enough to be born white cannot use the Muslim Card and be believed, and second of all, the Muslim Card's effectiveness is tied to the number of ISIS beheadings, at least somewhat. This card may lose its effectiveness in the next few years.

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But if you show your Muslim Card™ to Marie Harf, you'll be moved to the front of the unemployment line!

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Pity the woebegone prole who, when spreading his hand out hopefully upon the poker table, discovers two queens beats his straight flush.

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
Just a point about what I'm really getting at here in this post: The right to property necessarily means the right to discriminate. Either that, or an offended Christian has just as much right to shut down a gay bakery and put it out of business. I prefer the right to discriminate in its literal sense - the right to choose whom I will or will not serve. If that right doesn't exist, then a Jewish baker could just as easily be compelled to bake a Nazi themed cake for a skinhead wedding. To be fair, I believe a gay owned bakery has a right to refuse business to whomever they wish, a Muslim barber has a right to refuse to cut a customer's hair, and Christians have a right to conduct their businesses consistently with their beliefs.

Can't we all just get along in mutual respect? These days, the answer is, "You hurt my feelings; I'll see you in court." When we can grow up, understand that not everybody sees things our way, and even learn to laugh at ourselves, the world will be a better place.


You must understand, komrade Komissar, that while we are traveling down the road to hell Next Tuesday™, there are many wrongs that must be korrekted and guilty oppressors who must be punished. Thankfully, our Glorious Leader and the Demokrat party have stepped up to do that.

In exchange for voting korrektly, they will pave the road to Next Tuesday™ with all sorts of good intentions like granting special privileges to the oppressed. You can force your beliefs on other people, shut down businesses that don't follow your beliefs, riot, loot, attack police officers, kommit murder, behave indecently in publik, get lucrative employment even though you have no qualifications, etc. No worries, no problems. No accountability! Just have at it.

But that's not all! Other benefits of korrekt voting include, but are not limited to: free money, free food, free clothing, free heat and air conditioning, free elektricity (solar and wind of course), free indoctrination education, free healthcare, free abortions, free birf kontrol, free ____, etc. Free! Free! Free! Who can pass up free shit??? Besides, it's only "fair."

If you act now and vote korrektly, Komrade Glorious Leader and the Demokrat party will also throw in an added bonus. They will use the power of government to settle the score and give everyone a "fair shot" at their "fair share." You don't like your employer because you feel you are not being paid enough? You think the guy who owns the grocery store in your neighborhood is "rich" because he charges too much? NO PROBLEM! The Komrade Glorious Leader says, "They didn't build that. Somebody else did that!" That "somebody else" is YOU. You are therefore entitled to your "fair share," so he and the Demokrat party will get it for you.

Let's face it. Life in the old, unjustly founded and evil America was just not "fair." We now have "hope and change" working for us. FORWARD!

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RedDiaperette wrote:I am reviewing my hand of the cards I collected from attendees at today's Diversity Event, and I will lead with a Red-Haired Afro-Palestinian Transgender Muslim Lesbian with Hispanic Surname and Size Ten Shoes. Top that one if you can!
I'll see all of the above, and raise with Obamaphone, EBT, and left-handed...Craptek, you going to take this and run, or fold?

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:
RedDiaperette wrote:I am reviewing my hand of the cards I collected from attendees at today's Diversity Event, and I will lead with a Red-Haired Afro-Palestinian Transgender Muslim Lesbian with Hispanic Surname and Size Ten Shoes. Top that one if you can!
I'll see all of the above, and raise with Obamaphone, EBT, and left-handed...Craptek, you going to take this and run, or fold?

I hope you two don't have cards up your sleeves as well as other methods,

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Gummipuppe wrote:
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
Just a point about what I'm really getting at here in this post: The right to property necessarily means the right to discriminate. Either that, or an offended Christian has just as much right to shut down a gay bakery and put it out of business. I prefer the right to discriminate in its literal sense - the right to choose whom I will or will not serve. If that right doesn't exist, then a Jewish baker could just as easily be compelled to bake a Nazi themed cake for a skinhead wedding. To be fair, I believe a gay owned bakery has a right to refuse business to whomever they wish, a Muslim barber has a right to refuse to cut a customer's hair, and Christians have a right to conduct their businesses consistently with their beliefs.

Can't we all just get along in mutual respect? These days, the answer is, "You hurt my feelings; I'll see you in court." When we can grow up, understand that not everybody sees things our way, and even learn to laugh at ourselves, the world will be a better place.


You must understand, komrade Komissar, that while we are traveling down the road to hell Next Tuesday™, there are many wrongs that must be korrekted and guilty oppressors who must be punished. Thankfully, our Glorious Leader and the Demokrat party have stepped up to do that.

In exchange for voting korrektly, they will pave the road to Next Tuesday™ with all sorts of good intentions like granting special privileges to the oppressed. You can force your beliefs on other people, shut down businesses that don't follow your beliefs, riot, loot, attack police officers, kommit murder, behave indecently in publik, get lucrative employment even though you have no qualifications, etc. No worries, no problems. No accountability! Just have at it.

But that's not all! Other benefits of korrekt voting include, but are not limited to: free money, free food, free clothing, free heat and air conditioning, free elektricity (solar and wind of course), free indoctrination education, free healthcare, free abortions, free birf kontrol, free ____, etc. Free! Free! Free! Who can pass up free shit??? Besides, it's only "fair."

If you act now and vote korrektly, Komrade Glorious Leader and the Demokrat party will also throw in an added bonus. They will use the power of government to settle the score and give everyone a "fair shot" at their "fair share." You don't like your employer because you feel you are not being paid enough? You think the guy who owns the grocery store in your neighborhood is "rich" because he charges too much? NO PROBLEM! The Komrade Glorious Leader says, "They didn't build that. Somebody else did that!" That "somebody else" is YOU. You are therefore entitled to your "fair share," so he and the Demokrat party will get it for you.

Let's face it. Life in the old, unjustly founded and evil America was just not "fair." We now have "hope and change" working for us. FORWARD!
I don't know who wrote that drivel in my name while feigning to be me posting out of karakter, but there will be Hillary to pay. Something like this is more like it. Party approved and appropriate for the Children.

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This comrade in the Great Struggle™ makes a strong case for the Race Card™...


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We are now in possession of empirical evidence that Race Card still trumps Gay Card with all its subcategories, including the Gay-Hispanic-Minority variety.

Race Card still easily trumps Gay Card at Univision

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Uh oh. It looks like in the world of Next Tuesday, the gay card doesn't have the value of the race card, even when a gay (white) Hispanic is holding it. Seems that the thought police of Univision considered this gay person's comments to be out of line:
https://www.hngn.com/articles/76888/201 ... -obama.htm

He has been duly erased from the memory of the State and is now a non-person.


 
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