I know, I know, it's not even Thanksgiving yet, that glorious pagan holiday when we celebrate the Native Americans' bountiful gifts of food to the stupid starving white slave owner settlers, but we all know that Marxmas comes a little earlier every year - so let's get ready!

Especially with things escalating as they are in the Middle East, where the Occupiers are stirring up trouble with the peaceful Palestinians yet again, what better time to remind one another of the One, Who came once and for all to save the world - Dear Leader, President B. Hussein Obama! - with the gift of an RPG or an Improvised Explosive Device.


And at that most wonderful time of the year, when progressives are celebrating all over the world, what little tyke doesn't dream about having his or her very own suicide vest or AK-47? After all, sooner or later we're going to have to deal with those bitter clinger Rethugglikkkans who refuse to go peacefully off to the Gulag - so let's get little Johnny, Suzie, and Achmed armed and trained up this Marxmas!


I know at my dacha we'll be getting up bright and early on Marxmas Morning, as we always do, and I can hardly wait to hear the cries of joy as the little ones open their presents and discover their brand new Hamas-approved hand grenades and official Hezbollah Brand™ suicide vests!


So let's not let the Gaza kiddies have all the fun this year - fire a kwanzaa rocket into your Marxmas tree at dawn on Marxmas Morn, and let's all shout Allahu Akbar! as we hold hands around the burning tree and think of the glorious reelected One that's making it all possible!

And as Comrade Whoopie would say, a very "Hopey Changemas" to you too Comrade ROCK!

Wow those kids got really great stuff for last Marxmas Day! All I got last year was this lousygreat shovel. What's so nice about gifts of RPGs is that it never gets old because there are no kids from last year around to say: "Hey, that's what I got last Marxmas!!"

We at the Department of Human Health and Abortions were a little perplexed that the Hamas Palestinians declined our gifts of free birth control. We were relieved to hear that they turned it down because they need to continually replenish their ranks as recruitment of brain washed kids from the U.S. is significantly down.We at the UN acknowledge and congratulate the Hamas Palestinian's efforts to minimize their impact on world overpopulation and global warming.

Comrades,

I had NO IDEA Hamass is really the KKK wearing kkkool-looking green hippie headbands with psychadelic squiggles on them. I feel so enlightened.

How wonderful to see family traditions passed down from one generation to extinction. I remember getting cool toys for Marxmas (of course back in those old, white 50s days it used to be called "CHRISTmas"), but that was before all this hi-tech RPG stuff and suicide vests.

And the glorious picture of the near-extinct mother holding her near-extinct son: Like mother like son, I always say. Some traditions never die -- unless they're wearing a shiny new suicide vest they got on Marxmas!

Executive Order 11.22.2012 The First Thanksgiving
On the 22^nd of October, we have changed our history cleansed re-educated shall bow on our kneesshall give thanks to our glorious leader, for providing such a great feast. The kapitalistic corruption by Big Bird showing a profit taking advantage of the masses are not aligned with the overall good.

Coach, that was your problem back at the Karl Marx Institute when you were getting your reeducation degree: you never paid attention during the indoctrination films. Everyone who did (like myself) knows that a Flatulaphone played as illustrated blares forth with a "BuWhaaaa! BuWhaaaa!" sound, not a "toot-toot-toot." Just ask FLATUS Michelle; she is an expert with this instrument.

(By the way, would it be racist of me to ask that you save me some white meat off that big bird?)

Ivan
Sound enemating from a fartuba is determined by tightness of embutture. Is cheeky, nyet? And the Coach deserves cranbeets on the side.

Mmmm! Big Bird fried in peanut oil. My favorite.

♫ Marxmas is coming
Moochele is getting fat
Won't you please put your paychecks
In the Collective's hat ♪

If you haven't got a paycheck
Well, lucky lucky you
♪ 'Cause Obama gonna send you
An iPhone too!

♫ If he doesn't send an iPhone
Obamaphone will do
If he doesn't send Obamaphone
Well, Marx bless you ♪

Oh, Marxmas is coming
♪ The beets are in the pot
Time to thank Dear Leader
For all you've got ♫

If you haven't got a beet pot
♫ Be careful what you say
Don't look up, a drone is watching
You night and day

♫ Yes, Marxmas is coming
Moochele is getting fat
And the country's moving FORWARD!
Now how about that? ♪

Hyappy MarXmas, Comrades!

What a relief on the white suits, It appeared either they were suffering from a terrible skin affliction, or they did not want to let the other guys know what shade of lipstick they had on.

Shown below is a recently graduated Jihadist eager to begin his pre-Marxmas Shovel-Ready™ job in the Caesar 0bama administration:
His Shovel-Ready™ job title? Jihadi Aftermath Disposal Technician.

We will put him to work in the 0bamanation Plantation beet fields to practice until the Mahdi comes to herald in the true Progressive World of Next Tuesday™.

I wonder if that Old New World Order will be heralded in with Flatulaphones?

And let's not forget all the early Marxmas Day presents sent south of the border to help the proletariats there in there struggle against repressive forces.

... while visions of virgins dance in their heads ....

On the first day of Marxmas, my comrades gave to me

A picture of Leon Trotsky
Two Das Kapitals
Three bayonets
Four bowls borscht
Five year plan
Six workers starving
Seven Lenins leaping
Eight Stalins staring
Nine bloody purges
Ten Sputniks spinning
Eleven vats of vodka
Twelve counts of treason

hippie holidays Comrades
This for festive gathering at the local Commintern

It's beginning to look a lot like Marxmas
Everywhere you go
With factories being closed, and taxpayers getting hosed
And producers getting shafted once again
It's beginning to look a lot like Marxmas
The country's lost its souls
Don't try to control your fate, you will be accused of hate
Don't go near the polls

It's beginning to look a lot like Marxmas
Every pundit spins
You see it on CBS and subsidized PBS
Their reportage amounts to mortal sins
It's beginning to look a lot like Marxmas
America is dead
They voted for legal pot, since it's just a commie plot
Get it through your head

It's beginning to look a lot like Marxmas
With feminazi rules
You better not be pro life, Big Sis will get out her knife
And gleefully cut off your family jewels
It's beginning to look a lot like Marxmas
The Liberal jihad
From now on they get their way, don't ever again say
You believe in God.

Point of Order.... which some of you had better heed given how close we are to Next Tuesday..... We only celebrate FESTIVUS here at the Cube in relation to the occurance of the Winter Solstace.

Your compliance is appreciated... (even though my trigger... er retrobortion finger is a bit itchy).

Raum Emmanual Goldstein wrote:Point of Order.... which some of you had better heed given how close we are to Next Tuesday.....

Ahem.

Comrade Raum. We are GETTING FARTHER AND FARTHER AWAY from NextTuesday™, since it came once and for all on Tuesday, November 6, 2012! But now - it lives in our hearts - and it shall reign (along with Dear Leader) forever and ever! And ever!

Another way to look at it - Colonel 7.62 can correct me if this isn't the Current Truth - is that it's now NextTuesday™ FOREEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!!

It's a glorious thing, comrades.