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JetBlue to offer SafeSeating™ for traumatized voters

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[img]/images/Safe_Seating_JetBlue.jpg[/img]

Are you a Hillary supporter who still suffers from anger, depression, and seething hatred of all things conservative? Do you regard the simple appearance of an old Reagan/Bush t-shirt as hate speech that makes you physically ill? Are you fearful that you might even have to share a flight with a conservative, a fascist, a KKK grand wizard, an SS obergruppenführer, or a member of the Trump family?

Well, your worries are over! After the appalling incident in which Ivanka Trump dared to book a flight just so she could flaunt her father's victory in the faces of traumatized Hillary supporters, JetBlue has taken steps to ensure this never happens again.

That's right. JetBlue now offers SafeSeating™ with complimentary Play-Doh™, stuffed animals, virtual reality goggles, and colored pencils. Passengers who fly in the SafeSeating™ class will be partitioned off from other potentially hateful passengers with opaque curtains colorfully decorated with unicorns, rainbows, and Hillary in “Rosie the Riveter” regalia.

The virtual reality goggles will provide a panoramic view of Hillary being sworn in as America's 45th president, just like she should have been all along. Relaxing images of Russia being obliterated in a nuclear holocaust as due punishment for hacking the election are available at the flip of a switch. For Sanders supporters, an endless loop of videos comparing America unfavorably with European countries is right at your fingertips.

But wait! There's more! Each person flying SafeSeating™ will be escorted individually to and from their seat by a caring, sensitive staff member equipped with a box of Kleenex™ who's ready to give hugs or just a reassuring pat on the hand and a warm smile whenever needed.

Now we all know that “haters gonna hate”, but that's no reason why you should have to share your personal space with deplorable individuals. With our first on last off boarding policy for those flying SafeSeating™, you'll never notice that such unsettling and hateful people are even on board. So sit back, enjoy the flight, and relax knowing that you'll spend the entire flight free from the rude intrusions of reality.

[img]/images/Safe_Seating_JetBlue_Airport.jpg[/img]

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Comrades!

This is an excellent example of how the fascism of capitalism must be fought! But be ready, comrades! The evil ReThugLiKKKans are going accuse us of childish behavior and of being intolerant hypocrites. Our Useful Idiots™ Fellow Travelers™ in the State Run Media Bureaus will ignore those criticisms. Those criticisms we cannot ignore our Useful Idiots™ Fellow Travelers™ in the State Run Media Bureaus will shout them down with accusations of Hate Speech™.

HEIL HILLARY!

--
Boris Sukavich Blokhayev, Zampolit.
1st Chief Direktorate for Socialist Compassion Enforcement™ of the DNC's Politburo™.

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SafeSeating sign is now available for downloading, printing, and placing around places where snowflakes congregate, e.g., colleges, Starbucks, or airports.

[img]/images/SafeSeating_Snowflakes.png[/img]

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Red Square wrote:SafeSeating sign is now available for downloading, printing, and placing around places where snowflakes congregate, e.g., colleges, Starbucks, or airports.

[img]/images/SafeSeating_Snowflakes.png[/img]
Мне очень нравится!

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... JetBlue now offers SafeSeating™ ...
Is it also for Yurop snowflakes? or contra-inclusive, Amerikkkan only? like, RRRAAAAACIST?

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... JetBlue now offers SafeSeating™ ...
Is it also for Yurop snowflakes? or contra-inclusive, Amerikkkan only? like, RRRAAAAACIST?
SafeSeating™ is primarily designed to meet the needs of American snowflakes still in shock over discovering the existence of the Electoral College. But if you're a "Syrian" "refugee", you simply go straight to first class seating with any carry on baggage you have with you. As proof of our open mindedness and tolerance, you get an inspection pass from the TSA so you'll see how open minded and tolerant we are.

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... JetBlue now offers SafeSeating™ ...
Is it also for Yurop snowflakes? or contra-inclusive, Amerikkkan only? like, RRRAAAAACIST?
SafeSeating™ is primarily designed to meet the needs of American snowflakes still in shock over discovering the existence of the Electoral College. But if you're a "Syrian" "refugee", you simply go straight to first class seating with any carry on baggage you have with you. As proof of our open mindedness and tolerance, you get an inspection pass from the TSA so you'll see how open minded and tolerant we are.
Thanks, Esteemed Komissar ‒ thoroughly elucidating.

And ‒ just so you know ‒ vee haff here, in Germany, ALSO Hillary-devoted snowflakes. They now hear the Trombones of Jericho, see Mane, Tekel, Fares written on walls, and generally turn to H2O in its fluid state.

Those Kraut-snowflakes, they surely will not visit Amerikkka ‒ now, that Herr Trumpler has the say. So, the SafeSeating™ may not be an issue here, after all.

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:Those Krut-snowflakes, they surely will not visit Amerikkka ‒ now, that Herr Trumpler has the say. So, the SafeSeating™ may not be an issue here, after all.
Probably not America, at least not for a few more years. However, SafeSeating™ is available for Euroflakes travelling to Cuba or North Korea.

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...and more blessings upon the brethren in Agitprop for the additional agitprop.

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If you liked this story, you should see the next one featuring these and other characters. Social Justice Warriors now have brand-new insignia!

Militant snowflake: new insignia for social justice warrior


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Comrade -- in your haste to let us in on this wonderful bit of news, you neglected to mention that the safe seating option includes a magazine rack with the usual "safe" magazines. Passengers in need of "unsafe" magazines must make a special request.

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His book is getting HAMMERED on Amazon. LOL.

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You can no longer vote with stars as they are blocking this. After all, we must not tolerate bullying of LGBT snowflakes.

However, LGBT snowflakes are entitled to chase down, harass and bully the families of people they disagree with.

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Evil Smiley wrote:His book is getting HAMMERED on Amazon. LOL.

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You can no longer vote with stars as they are blocking this. After all, we must not tolerate bullying of LGBT snowflakes.

However, LGBT snowflakes are entitled to chase down, harass and bully the families of people they disagree with.
Fake negative reviews on Trump's books are still open on Amazon, though. There's been a flurry of one-star snowflakes, apparently with no limit.



 
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