Formal Appeal to Comrade Red Square, People's Director of the Department of Unanimity and Visual Agitation and Chairman of the Plenary Committee for Oversight of Intellectual Security and Standardization

Comrade Red Square!

In order to fully implement the Socialist dream of an Amerikan proletarian utopia, it is imperative that party organs must identify and properly subjugate conflicting intellectual concepts that may cause those with non-conformist tendencies to question the Party and its efforts to improve the condition of the people through Socialism.

As we all know, correct thought, led by the Party, is the only thing that will keep the people progressing in the correct direction. Therefore, the Party must properly indoctrinate the proletariat so that cooperation can be voluntarily achieved and the Socialist vision can be quickly and efficiently implemented.

Besides, having to forcibly liquidate non-conformists is embarrassing and expensive. Therefore, in keeping with your most recent example, I propose that the Plenary Committee create a Directorate to collect examples of intellectual non-conformity, such as:

• Americans are getting sicker - but we are living longer than we ever have
  
• We are living longer than we ever have - but our medical system is broken by corporate greed
  
• Our medical system is broken by corporate greed - but corporations will be in charge of the new system
  
• Corporations will be in charge of the new system - but government supervision will help us get healthier
  
• Government supervision will help us get healthier - but the government has been supervising us before while we were getting sicker

Corporations are poisoning our food with preservatives and GMOS – but we are living longer than we ever have. In order to live longer, we must eat healthy food – but food without additives is what our ancestors ate and did not live as long. Our ancestors had unhealthy lives, and so the government helped regulate our food to make it healthier - allowed all the unhealthy preservatives and GMOS to get into our food

For the sake of the masses in need of proper indoctrination for their own welfare, I appeal to the Department to collect these falsehoods and properly expose them to public ridicule!

Nomenklatura-climber, please remember these two truths:

1. If government has under performed the cause is under funding.

2. If government has mismanaged, the cause is a lack of the correct progressive people in leadership.

We are on the right track now with higher taxes and better leadership. All is and will be fine.

Who is this upstart that addresses Red Square directly on his first post? No permits, no appointment, Dear Lenin, this could've gone "Joe-the-Plumber" in a second...

Dear Tovarish Tovarichi,

Apparently, the permit section of the Blog is underfunded, because I was unable to locate the Inspectorate so as to receive proper Party guidance. I apologize to the Party and the people, and I am willing to denounce three other Facebook subscribers for subversive agitation (in exchange for a pardon).

I suspect that Bushite elements of the Intergalactic Zionist Conspiracy are responsible for this breakdown in Party discipline.

To Wyoming with all the Wreckers!

Comrade Climber. Ahem. "Other Facebook subscribers"??

You are, however correct that, Bush. Therefore, while we will suspend your beet vodka ration for one (1) week and keep it in a safe place (HAHAHA!!!) until you have proven yourself worthy, please to consider Tovarichi's post a mere warning.

We will be watching.

Thanks for the vodka.

Oh, goodie! Another 'volunteer' to help me toil in the Peoples' Beet Field.™ Me and Mister Kalashnikov were getting lonely.

Dear Comrade Rock,

Don't worry, I only use Facebook for agitational purposes, to spread the message of the Party to the non-indoctrinated Bourgeoisie elements (along with some cat pictures now and then).

I will also offer to Comrade Red Square .75 kilo of my grandmother's homemade horse soujuk and a bottle of kvass I received as reward at last year's mandatory Volunteer Work Detail where I layed bricks at the local collective farm for the Commissar's new summer dacha.

Please... no beet field! I have gluten intolerance and I get a rash from beet greens!

Nomenklatura-climber wrote:Dear Comrade Rock,

Don't worry, I only use Facebook for agitational purposes,

The people find FaceBook agitating without any special or extra effort.