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Obama: Do Not Read Too Much Into One Jobs Report (Again)

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Comrades, as you might have witnessed on your telescreens recently, the June Jobs Report was somewhat less than a rip-roaring "Summer of Wreckovery IV" "Happy Days Are Here Again" success.

Our Dear Leader has acknowledged this and but insists we are making progress and urged us not to read too much into one month's report.

The president is surely correct on this point. In fact, I am sure I have heard similar wisdom proffered on other occassions...

Let me think, where have I heard this before.... Perhaps here....
~

For the Thirtieth Time, the Obama Administration Admonishes Voters Not to Read Too Much into One Month's Jobs Numbers



May 2012:
“Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report and it is helpful to consider each report in the context of other data that are becoming available.”

April 2012: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report and it is helpful to consider each report in the context of other data that are becoming available.”

March 2012: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, and it is helpful to consider each report in the context of other data that are becoming available.”

February 2012:“Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report; nevertheless, the trend in job market indicators over recent months is an encouraging sign.”

January 2012: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report; nevertheless, the trend in job market indicators over recent months is an encouraging sign.”
December 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.”

November 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.”

October 2011: “The monthly employment and unemployment numbers are volatile and employment estimates are subject to substantial revision. There is no better example than August's jobs figure, which was initially reported at zero and in the latest revision increased to 104,000. This illustrates why the Administration always stresses it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.”

September 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.”

August 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.”

July 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.”

June 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.”

May 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.”

April 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.”

March 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.”

February 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.”

January 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.”

December 2010: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.”

November 2010: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.”

October 2010:“Given the volatility in monthly employment and unemployment data, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.”

September 2010: “Given the volatility in the monthly employment and unemployment data, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.”

July 2010: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, positive or negative. It is essential that we continue our efforts to move in the right direction and replace job losses with robust job gains.”

August 2010: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, positive or negative.”

June 2010: “As always, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, positive or negative.”

May 2010:“As always, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, positive or negative.”

April 2010: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, positive or negative.”

March 2010: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, positive or negative.”

January 2010: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, positive or negative.”

November 2009: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, positive or negative.”

No, that's not what I had in mind. I have referred to my official Party history books for other examples of when this sage wisdom was given.

Announcement on the HMS Titanic, April 15, 1912: "Passengers have reported running water in their staterooms, even those not equipped with faucets. The captain wishes to stress it is important not to read too much into any one such report because the ship is unsinkable."

Press Release, Berlin Bunker, April 1945: "Citizens are advised not to make too much of reports of Soviet tanks appearing in the city. It is helpful to consider these reports in the context of other data, such as Steiner's counterattack."

Official Proclamation, Pompeii, 79 AD: "Regarding the recent episode of falling ashes and pyroclastic flows emanating from Mt. Vesuvius, the chief magistrate wishes to stress that it is important not to read too much into any one such report; molten lava is volatile and flow estimates are subject to substantial revision."

Mondale Campaign HQ, November 6, 1984: "It is important not to read too much into reports of states being called for Reagan minutes after their polls close; the trend in our Harris poll numbers over the last few days has been an encouraging sign."

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So, as the president said, it is important not to read too much into one report, especially when that same report occurs thirty times in forty one months. In fact, this admonition makes even more sense in the latter case because there are thirty times more reports to not read too much into, thus the effect of any one of them is even more diluted! Am I making myself clear? Look, it's simple math: if one report does not mean too much, a single report means even less if there are thirty of them because there are so many others to choose from! Get it? Why focus on one bad report when you have 29 other bad reports to focus on? You all should be grateful you have an expert like me to explain complicated logic like this to you.


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Also, the numbers are consistently NEVER what the economists "expected."

Unemployment rate: Always "higher than expected."

Jobs growth: Always "lower than expected."

Nothing is ever what the economists expect.

Every month is a surprise!



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Tovarichi wrote:"There are no tanks in Baghdad"
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Compare:

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I know, I know! The guy on the right is hosting a $40K per plate celebrity fundraiser for the guy on the left!

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People don't realize how insignificant negative jobs numbers are even after many consecutive months. Even one isolated month of positive jobs numbers would instantly stop this negative trend, and mark the beginning of a new one. Just two consecutive months of positive numbers would totally reverse the trend, and bring us into a recovery that could falter for up to a year. As for three consecutive months---that would likely usher in four whole years of the best economy Americans could ever hope for!

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People don't realize how insignificant negative jobs numbers are even after many consecutive months.

An example of a person not realizing how insignificant job numbers are after many consecutive months.

long-term-unemployed-face-discrimination-11092701.jpg

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Thankfully, we have Lyin' Brian Williams to "explain" these incredibly "complex" issues to the proles. What would we do without him?

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Read? What is this "reading" business of yours? I am just told what I am needed to know, and leave it at that.


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Those Prog Glasses are AWESOME. Everyone MUST purchase a pair or pay a penalty, right?

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Those Prog Glasses will go great with my Obama Magic Money Machine and the Amazing Democrat Voters (formerly known as Amazing Sea Monkeys) that I'm growing in old peanut butter jars for Election Day fun. I just love watching them build their own Occupy encampment and marveling over all the neat little tricks they do! What's more, even if they die (which they do more often than not) they can still vote!

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Glorious! Thanks to the Amazing Prog Glasses, I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel! BTW, does anyone else hear a bullet train coming?

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Close, Opiate. I think what you really hear is the sound of billions and billions of dollars being poured into a deep dark hole that someday--if we keep digging deeper, like Joe Biden says--will lead to the completion of the bullet train.

So let's keep digging! And pouring! And spending more!

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Red Square wrote:Image

denying the hazards to their dying regime oops, both.
the call to prayer at sunset ifrom the mosque s the most beatiful sound on earth both too.
tells lies for a living both again.

The one on the right has worn a uniform. (A winner! Yaaay!)

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Close, Opiate. I think what you really hear is the sound of billions and billions of dollars being poured into a deep dark hole that someday--if we keep digging deeper, like Joe Biden says--will lead to the completion of the bullet train.

So let's keep digging! And pouring! And spending more!

money-black-hole copy.jpg

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:...what you really hear is the sound of billions and billions of dollars being poured into a deep dark hole that someday--if we keep digging deeper...
... will bring us to China, directly through the earth core. That light at the end of the tunnel is the glimpse of the glorious golden stars on the red Chicom flag. The cargo that bullet train is carrying in that direction are our jobs.

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daroof.gif
Da troof, da troof, da troof is on fire,
We don't need no work so let the mutha-fu**ah burn!
Burn Baby, Burn!
*

Well... he's got his hands up, so it's either that, or he's saying "one job report," but holding up 8 (or 10) fingers... My only question is, why are his pom-pom pasties slipping? Does he have three nipples? Oh wait... those are wind-socks on the mics... I, of all people, shoulda knowed that... the colour in the original foto just had me confused for a sec... strange how they went out of their way to make them match them to his shirt in the original foto... they're always grey, but they dyed them green... strange thing to bother comouflaging.

*I went with Nelly's version of the song.

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Opiate of the People Posted:
blackholehiggsboson.gif

Now that they think they've finally found the Higgs Boson, that shovel must be really heavy, so close to the event horizon... He should really be standing in the other direction (and wearing safety glasses)... the gravitational tidal forces are gonna make him whack himself right in the head with that...

Oh wait... the basic laws of physics don't apply to him... just when I thought my memory was getting better.

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Red Square wrote:
Commissarka Pinkie wrote:...what you really hear is the sound of billions and billions of dollars being poured into a deep dark hole that someday--if we keep digging deeper...
... will bring us to China, directly through the earth core. That light at the end of the tunnel is the glimpse of the glorious golden stars on the red Chicom flag. The cargo that bullet train is carrying in that direction are our jobs.
Ahh yes, comrades, and the bullet train coming back is filled to overflowing with delightful goods made in the People's Republic of China, which - by design - can not only be replaced again and again, thereby giving us the joy of purchasing new things, many of them stimulate our creativity as we struggle to put together their intentionally malformed parts to make them functional! Our communist brothers and sisters think of everything :)

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Sister Massively Opiated wrote: Oh wait... the basic laws of physics don't apply to him... just when I thought my memory was getting better.

Physical laws are just like legislative ones; Dear Leader simply chooses not to enforce those which do not please him or benefit "his people."

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Update:

For the Thirty-First Time, Obama White House Says ‘Don't Read Too Much' Into a Bad Jobs Report

As the Administration stresses every month, the monthly employment and unemployment figures can be volatile, and employment estimates can be subject to substantial revision. Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report and it is informative to consider each report in the context of other data that are becoming available.

https://pjmedia.com/tatler/2012/08/03/f ... ent-381052

Say, this is getting ridiculous, even for a loyal-to-a-Bush's fault Party member like me. I am working overtime not reading too much into the previous 30 bad jobs reports, where the hell am I going to find the time to not read too much into another one???? After all, I have so much other freakin' stuff to do... I gotta look for a job, I gotta go down to the unemployment office to pick up my check, I gotta apply for permanent disability... when the hell do I have time to not read stuff into another bad jobs report? I think the gubbermint should start paying me for not reading stuff. Hey, Congress gets paid big bucks for not reading shit (like the shit they pass into law!) The media gets paid big bucks for not reading shit (none of them read any of Dear Leader's books although they all said his books were great.) How about me? I can not read stuff as well as any of them. Who's with me on this?

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Pay no attention to the comrade behind the curtain. Just enjoy your red slippers, click your heels, and say, "There's no change like hope..."

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Opiate, we shouldn't be reading jobs reports anyway. Dear Leader has assured us that the stimulus worked, so all those 31 reports must be vicious lies written by racist Republicans. The real figure has to be below 5%, because that's what he promised us for the $trillion+ he spent on it.


 
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