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Obama's Executive Orders to Increase Productivity & Rations

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Dear Comrades,

Comrade Party Chairman and Future President Barack Barackovich Obama has promised to issue an Executive Order to increase productivity of the State economy and raise the Federal minimum rations to the workers and peasants of the USSA.

In addition, another Executive Order will assign all 4-year-olds to public schools for Pre-Pre-School, where they will receive developmentally-appropriate indoctrination in Party principles, including obedience to authority figures other than parents and the necessity of social programs. Since 4-year-olds are generally considered ‘pre-rational,' they are ideal candidates for modern political formation.

He will also levy a new tax on domestic tobacco sales via Executive Order, for the protection of Young Socialists from the harms of nicotine by placing the price at a prohibitively expensive level. This way, only addicted Kulaks will be able to buy cigarettes, and their money will be taken from them to help poor State workers and government pensioners.

Most citizens will welcome the raise in the minimum rations, which help them maintain a comfortable existence without the need for literacy or a sense of urgency to promote beyond menial employment.

This is also very important to the majority of working citizens who are now employed part-time and need the increase in minimum rations to fully enjoy the fruits of our Socialist Utopia.

Executive Orders will bring us a bright future!
Comrade Obama will lead us to prosperity through his mighty pen!


Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber

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Peace! Land! Beets!

The Day has come at last. Communism leads the way!

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Is it not good to see President Barack Obamavich focusing his energies on productivity and indoctrination? It will take more than 2 Hispanic White men, Jorge Zimmerman and Carlos Danger, to derail the Great One (PBUH) from completing his 4 and 5 year plans. Hail to the Obamavich.

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Is "executive order" not a (ptui) Western term?
Should not the correct term be "ukase"? or "diktat"?

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Comrade Diaperette, I myself prefer to think of executive orders as the more current and correct version of the stone tablets from the outdated Bible thingie.

By the way, welcome to The Cube!

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Bread! We want to know about bread, and maybe a schedule for when the circus is in town...

Yes, bread and circuses. That's what's interesting.


 
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