After being perceived as weak on the world stage, President Obama has now truly toughened the U.S reaction to punish Russian leader Vladimir Putin for his complete disregard of international law by occupying the sovereign territory of the Ukraine.

An obviously pleased Mr. Obama with his new strategy to punish Mr. Putin, relayed to the press that he had recently been on the phone with him about the situation in the Ukraine, specifically the Russian occupation of the Crimea, which is sovereign Ukrainian territory. Mr. Obama stated that he repeatedly assured Mr. Putin at the beginning of the conversation that, "If he liked his plan, rebuilding the Soviet Union, he could keep his plan....period," and then Mr. Obama started to snicker.

Mr. Obama further said that during the conversation he also inquired if Mr. Putin liked his current Doctor. "He said he was quite happy with his Doctor, and that he had built a long and trusting relationship with him as his primary care giver," Mr. Obama said with a big smile on his face, "I also then asked him if his current premiums were affordable and if his deductibles were reasonable." He told me, "Quite affordable and reasonable."

Mr. Obama then stated that he asked Mr. Putin, just out of concern, about the state of his current health, age, if he was a smoker and some other basic questions, "I actually needed that information to complete the Obamacare enrollment process, but I wasn't going to tell him that of course". Mr. Obama also said he was filling out a paper Ocare application at exactly the same time he was having his phone conversation with Mr. Putin, as the website was still in his words,"having glitches".

Mr. Obama said the phone conversation ended on a positive note with Mr. Putin being most impressed with the concern for his health that Mr. Obama had displayed. "I told Mr. Putin after our conversation that he could be expecting a nice little letter from the U.S in the next couple of weeks summarizing our conversation." he then further stated, "Mr. Putin actually might think I am some sort of lightweight that can be pushed around, but when it comes to handing out some real pain to folks, I'm not a man to be trifled with.... just ask anybody in America's middle class."

Mr. Obama expects that Mr. Putin will be receiving his new Obamacare letter, healthcare insurance plan and his new premium payment notice within the next two weeks. "After he gets it, I fully expect him to be calling me madder then a tea party protester and angrily demand an exemption to be taken out of Ocare completely," Mr. Obama then further elaborated, "it is at that point when I'll finally have some real leverage over him and then we'll seriously talk about his immediate withdrawal from the Ukraine".

Whew, that's a relief. I thought maybe he decided to punish Putin with a baby!

Another clever ploy by Dear Leader. Disarm and conquer. Now that NSA has Putin's medical records I won't be surprised if they declare him mentally unfit for a license to carry.

Captain Craptek wrote:Another clever ploy by Dear Leader. Disarm and conquer. Now that NSA has Putin's medical records I won't be surprised if they declare him mentally unfit for a license to carry.

Or send in OSHA and EPA to assess fines on all contaminant-producing elements in his surroundings that might contribute to his possible future lack of wellness.

Oh, the HUMANITY!

It's too cruel, too vicious! Please, grant the waiver!