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Obama to Reinstitute Jus Primae Noctis

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
KOMRADES!!!

Great news! (…at least for us “made progs”)

Our Dear Reader (AP&PBUH) is well on the way to re-instituting Jus Primae Noctis… perhaps better known in the vulgar as “Prima Nocta” (aka. “First Night”): "When any common girl/boy/hermaphrodite inhabiting their lands is married, our Nobles Government Officials shall have sexual rights to her/him/it on the night of her/his/its wedding.”
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As you may well know, Dear Reader's (AP&PBUH) election campaign team has instituted a fund raising vehicle for underwrite His Imminence's imminent re-coronation re-election. That is the great unwashed masses may be honored at the occasion of their wedding to “register” with the Obama Campaign and have well-wishers exchange the gifting of fine China place settings and Egyptian cotton sheets to the happy couple upon their intended nuptials with a commensurate gift to Dear Reader's (AP&PBUH) imminent re-coronation re-election campaign.

As the State is charged with the responsibility for issuing Licenses to marry, it will -- as a matter of course -- be an excellent opportunity for the happy couples to establish their “gift registry” with their local county magistrate. The implication for the intended couple -- of course -- will be that unintended or unwished for consequences for NOT making such a progressively progressive move. Which is where my copy of a secret communiqué from Kom. Eric with-Holder comes into play…

If you are a “Made Prog,” you are invited to peruse the rolls of the various county clerks in your province for couples who have applied for a Marriage License, but declined to divert their wedding gifts to Dear Reader's (AP&PBUH) imminent re-coronation re-election campaign. At which time, you are authorised to “crash” the wedding (preferably upon the occasion of their wedding reception), introduce yourself and select one or both partners as you desire as is your right as a demonstrated elite progressive.

This should be sufficient to encourage ALL to issue their devotion to Dear Reader (AP&PBUH)

FORWARD!!!


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Not so fast! Since you didn't give me your wedding gifts, I hereby claim my right of the first night with the bride of my vassal.

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Dear Leader Obama - the gift that keeps on taking.

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Red Square wrote:Image
Not so fast! Since you didn't give me your wedding gifts, I hereby claim my right of the first night with the bride of my vassal.

Well DONE, Kom. Red Square!

A precise illustration of the inevitable destination of this train we are all riding upon (if you will pardon the pun)... we should hope to arrive at by Next Tuesday!

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Not so fast!

In the name of fairness and equality, equal access to both parties is the only way to go!


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Being a true believer, I offer Obama access, not only to my wife, but to my whole family. And after The One has finished bestowing his blessings upon my spouse and my junior soviets, I will break out a box of Canine Helper and whip up some snacks. Only for him.

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Fhalkyn wrote:
General Confusion wrote:Not so fast!

In the name of fairness and equality, equal access to both parties is the only way to go!
General Confusion, you are correct! After all, this IS our first gay president.

I believe I did mention the potential for abusing bestowing extramarital bliss to either one or BOTH spousal units.

And I believe there is evidence circulating within some avant garde history PhD circles that George Washington was actually the first gay president in a line of several LGBT Chief Executives, although he preferred to remain "in the closet" as it were.

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Comrade REG,

You are correct in your remark with no further enlargement.
I augmented your reasoning by showing the truthful foundations that render full support to your statement.

I built upon the firm foundation in place.

Believe it or not, I had the idea before I read your work!!!

M84
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It is only right, after Dear Leader has automagically overturned 30+ states' worth of biggoted "marriage protections," by His support of it. It's the least that Americans can do for Dear Leader in thanks for His protection.



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LMAO!! Umm, wait. Sorry.

Ahem.

Ho, watchoo mean, knowm sayin? I'ma be clear -

(I gotta figger out how to hold a teleprompter sideways, like a gangsta...)



 
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