My Comrades!

I just received this message in my inbox.

Your Dear Leader has invited me - the Supreme Leader and Beloved Tyrant of the People's Utopia of Zimbabwe to dine, converse, concur and otherwise hobnob with him at a State Dinner.

There is just one problem here, my friends. And this is why I, The Great Enlightened Potentate of Zimbabwe have to ask my comrades of the Cube for assistance. Is it normal Amerikkkan Diplomatic Protocol to ask a foreign leader for a donation of $3 when you invite them to dinner?

How am I, Obamugabe to respond to this? In Africa it is seen as an insult to invite someone to dinner and then ask him to pay. In fact, it is an insult punishable by immediate Disappearance Without A Trace to ask Obamugabe to pay at a restaurant!

My Comrades. I have not yet decided how to respond to this insult. Thermo Nucular War may be the only honorable choice.

Amandla!

Obamugabe


From: "Barack Obama" <[email protected]>

To: "Bob Obamugabe" <[email protected]>

Obamugabe --

I've set aside time for four supporters like you to join me for dinner.
~
Most campaigns fill their dinner guest lists primarily with Washington lobbyists and special interests.

We didn't get here doing that, and we're not going to start now. We're running a different kind of campaign. We don't take money from Washington lobbyists or special-interest PACs -- we never have, and we never will.

We rely on everyday Americans giving whatever they can afford -- and I want to spend time with a few of you.

So if you make a donation today, you'll be automatically entered for a chance to be one of the four supporters to sit down with me for dinner. Please donate $3 or more today:

https://my.democrats.org/Dinner-with-Barack

We'll pay for your flight and the dinner -- all you need to bring is your story and your ideas about how we can continue to make this a better country for all Americans.

This won't be a formal affair. It's the kind of casual meal among friends that I don't get to have as often as I'd like anymore, so I hope you'll consider joining me.

But I'm not asking you to donate today just so you'll be entered for a chance to meet me. I'm asking you to say you believe in the kind of politics that gives people like you a seat at the table -- whether it's the dinner table with me or the table where decisions are made about what kind of country we want to be.

It starts with a gift of whatever you can afford.

Please make a donation of $3 or more today, and we'll throw your name in the hat for the upcoming dinner:

https://my.democrats.org/Dinner-with-Barack

I've said before that I want people like you to shape this campaign from the very beginning -- and this is a chance for four people to share their ideas directly with me.

Hope to see you soon,

Barack


No purchase, payment, or contribution necessary to enter or win. Contributing will not improve chances of winning. Void where prohibited. Entries must be received by 11:59 p.m. on 6/30/11. You may enter by contributing to Sponsor through https://donate.barackobama.com/Dinner-With-Barack. Alternatively, visit https://my.barackobama.com/Dinner-With-Barack-Alt to enter without contributing. Four winners will each receive the following prize package: one round-trip ticket within the continental U.S. to a destination to be determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion; hotel accommodations for one; and dinner with President Obama on a date to be determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion (approximate combined retail value of all prizes $1,075). Odds of winning depend on number of eligible entries received. Promotion open only to U.S. citizens, or lawful permanent U.S. residents who are legal residents of 50 United States and District of Columbia and 18 or older (or of majority under applicable law). Promotion subject to Official Rules and additional restrictions on eligibility. Visit https://my.barackobama.com/Dinner-Rules for full details, restrictions, and Official Rules. Sponsor: Obama for America, 130 E. Randolph St., Chicago, IL 60601.

I was insulted by the White House too when they didn't allow my hooker companions and I do the dirty in the China Room. Ugh, I sure do miss the Clinton days.

Comrade O,

“aka Obomba” needs campaign funds...
He has over $1 B, but it takes alot to get nutwork TV time, he has to buy public opinion polls, bribes to union bosses, buy ‘objective” reporting, cash incentives to mobilize the base, incentives for “poll watchers” aka Thugs, behind the scenes.

Politics is expensive business for an honest politician.

I think we should all enter this "Win a Dream Date With Barak" contest! He's so dreamy! Imagine what you could say when it's just you and him at the table! Pinkie! I've registered! Have you?

I'd insist that we eat big bowls of chili with deviled eggs on the side. Then he can go home and hold Michelle's head under the blanket.

Whoopie, have you forgotten that he's Irish? His digestive tract is better suited to a heavy dose of corn beef and cabbage if he's going to prep for a Dutch Oven session.

I've just sent mine.

Then I sent three more..

Obamugabe,

Let us not be so hard now. The U.S is in sorta of a cash flow problem right now and three bucks is not so much to throw in for a little din din action with the President.

Sheesh, it is not like he would blow the toast at dinner after all and embarrass you and all the other diners.

Obamugabe, if you were asked for only $3 when you came to dinner, that means that you are going to be the dinner.

One of the man fur hats that I wear is chef to General Idi Amin. Che Gourmet is the People's Chef, of course, but I do a mean cassoulet of prole, and Idi liked it so much one time that he missed filing his papers to come to America to be a professional bowler. [ He wanted that. ]

But I'll give Idi one thing: he taught me to make the cassoulet of prole with the blood of a black man because it is sweeter than the blood of a white man.

General Bob, I just had second thoughts.

If you have been invited to the White House, perhaps Dear Obozo and Michelle are going to ask you for tips on how to get rid of those pesky old people who don't pay taxes and who eat medical care. After all, you can only move so much Soylent Green.

Perhaps we could have Menschenwurst. Grind up the pesky old people, who have died in the waiting room of the single hospital left in every state, and stuff them into their own intestines.

Which we do not have to clean out. After all, we've gotten people quite to love the taste of People's Tasty Crème, you know.

You should be honored by being included in Our Leader's "share the wealth" policies. It is a time honored tradition to allow visitors to our White House to contribute to Our Deal Leader's campaign. If memory serves, Comrade Clinton honed this into a fine art.