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Our Glorious Gun Free Future

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Comrades! I have fallen out of the wormhole in a drunken stupor to show the world the Glorious Progressive World of Next Tuesday™. No guns! At all! Nobody has them!

The criminals do not have them, the governments do not have them, the proletarian masses willfully toiling away in collective labor for the Greater Good™ do not have them! This has created the most curious legal systems.

You see, after guns were outlawed, only outlaws had guns. And then they took the guns away from police, because there was no need to arm them, as guns were illegal and nobody had them. Then, the military stopped carrying guns, because there was no risk of insurrection or war, because nobody had guns, and this is the Glorious World of Next Tuesday™ were we have all achieved socialist utopia.

Of course, it is a field day for the criminals. When they shoot someone, they are not prosecuted, because there are no guns, in fact there are no criminals. So one cannot be prosecuted for something that could not happen. This has lead to a rash of armed robberies that were not reported, and several armed uprisings that were promptly not crushed, and the unusual case of someone walking down the street with an AR15 BabyKiller™ and not being arrested. No guns, no crime, no murders, no kidding!

This! This is the glorious utopia we have coming! Surrender your guns to the state! Each one destroyed is another step closer to Next Tuesday™!

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This is truly glorious, comrades! The White House must be immediately declared a Gun Free zone to eliminate the secret service and their evil guns!

Just think, the Children™ will be as equal as Dear Leader's very own children (only ours will be with fewer vacations, and less for lunch)

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Comrade Colonel, it is good to see you, although I must admit that the wormhole was not kind to your hairdo. Such is the price of time travel, I'm sure.

Nevertheless, welcome back to the actual (current to us) world of NextTuesday™, which, of course, officially started on November 6, 2012. It is truly glorious to hear from the future and see just how NextTuesday™ has fleshed out by then!

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What is wrong with my hair? This is how everyone wears it in the future. Kim Jong Ill hair is cool.

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A world where murder is left to the professionals ... the guvmint. As it should be.

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I do not think we have much to worry about... our dearest of dear leader illegally sent most of our weaponry to el Mexico, whether we liked it or not. Of course, we did, but I'm just sayn.

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The glorious gun-free future can be achieved by posting the addresses of all gun owners in the country! And, for that matter, addresses of all those who post addresses of gun owners and who, apparently, have no guns at home in case you decide to visit them!

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I like the Gratitude Poster! More functionaries of the Party should be featured!

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Thanks, Comrade Red Square, for posting Comrade Matore's information. I will absolutely call first before I drop by because I will be expecting the proper hospitality; not just warmed over borscht and home-made vodka, but some fancy bourgeois sandwiches with the crusts cut off and fine imported wine. A bit of single-malt scotch would also be lovely. I promise to wash up before I eat and I will have on a clean pair of boots. I will even leave my shovel outside - as long as it's not raining. Knowing how generous "progressives" are, I'm sure we would all be welcome.


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Colonel 7.62 wrote:This has lead to a rash of armed robberies that were not reported…

So the Glorious World of Next Tuesday™ has apparently not advanced to the point where there is no need for property.

No 'Property' = No Theft

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Wow, I thought you had just left a moment ago. Here we were playing catch the kulak in the Party Bunker (which may or may not exist) and you disappeared into an old wardrobe. Did you happen to enter a land where it's always frozen because of climate change, and the wolves have guns but not the fawns?

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Note to Department of Agitprop: I have concerns about the anti-gun picture (and like all progs, I'm constantly "concerned" and "disturbed" about everything because I care so much). The image looks like a real gun, maybe a Kimber 1911, and that makes me wonder if a truly progressive artist was hired for the job. Shouldn't it be an entire shotgun cartridge popping out of the bore of a semiauto revolver?
Something like the Krinkov AR-47...
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or the deadly two stage round developed by NASA...
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ImageI spent the day giving a concealed carry deadly weapon course to six law-abiding citizens today. This is the first step to getting a Concealed Carry license in my home state. That just makes me feel good all over.

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Ivan Betinov wrote:ImageI spent the day giving a concealed carry deadly weapon course to six law-abiding citizens today. This is the first step to getting a Concealed Carry license in my home state. That just makes me feel good all over.
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Well done.

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Some kulak is using my name to claim I may "sue" the People's Collective of The Evergreen State College over gun bans on and off campus. This of course is false. I do not own any guns, and I routinely affirm to the state I have no guns.


 
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