Some right-wing reactionary fiend, who no doubt thought he was being clever, sent me a copy of that horrid book 'Going Rogue' written by that harpy from the North, Sarah Palin. This hoodlum, who if ever found surely will be sent to the gulag, was more than likely thinking that I Commodore Snoogie Woogums, would go into a rage and have convulsion fits that this so called tome would ever grace my hands.
Well BAD NEWS thought criminal.........I not only opened it and began to start reading it, I have begun to do an unbiased FACT-CHECK of it for the good of the Party.
The results so far.
The first sentence.......
It was the Alaska State Fair, August 2008.
LIES........Where is the proof??????? Does she produce a ticket or a torn receipt? A program, a picture showing she was there? NO SHE DOES NOT. She says it was the Alaska State fair, but offers no proof just another example how this witch from Wasilla plays fast and lose with the facts. This blight on humanity can't even write the first sentence without fibbing.
You can tell that this so called big fish she caught was not within the legal catch size.
Anyone can see this joke of a salmon could hardly be called a 'keeper'.
Tomorrow, I'll read the second sentence and report. Remember Comrades, I'm only doing this for the good of party and 'for the children' and I am in no way shape or form enjoying reading this torture of a book.
With the gray Talkeetna Mountains in the distance and the first light covering of snow about to descend on Pioneer Peak, I breathed in an autumn bouquet that combined everything small-town America with rugged splashes of the Last Frontier.
Everybody knows that Space is the Final Frontier!!!!!! Heck Star Trek even gets that! How can she claim Alaska as the Last Frontier??? Where does that leave space? Space the second to the last frontier???.......GAWD help me if I can make it through the first paragraph without uncovering at least 20 outright fabrications !!!!!!
Doesn't she know that all snow has melted in Alaska as far back as 2005? That was why, when Hillary and McCain went there on a 2005 fact-finding mission, they discovered a globally warmed fish all covered in bumps? Where has Sarah Palin been all these years? Hiding behind her all-year-round air conditioner?
Nice analysis, Commodore. Can't wait for the fact-checking of the third sentence. I'm sure it will be just as easily debunked, with at least ten errors found, both in letter and in spirit.
We can even have a contest: "who can find more things wrong with this Sarah Palin's quote?"
I can only stomach reading a sentence at a time of this book. Anymore would cause me to break out in hives, but since the third sentence is short I was able to get through it pretty much unaffected. Though it is short it contains another unbelievable whopper that only a neo-con rethuglikkan could believe as factual.
"Cotton candy and footlong hot dogs."
WHAT PLANET DOES THIS SHE-DEVIL INHABIT??????????
Everyone knows footlong hot dogs are only a foot long in the PRE-COOKED state. They shrink after being cooked normally to a size of about 11 1/2 inches!!!!!
She expects us to believe that there actually were real bona-fide 12 inch footlong hot dogs served at the fair and not what was really dished out!!!!! UNBELIEVABLE.
As for the cotton candy reference an obvious coded racist remark to diminish the stain of slavery our African Americans had to endure in the deep south during the plantation days.
Comrades........ I need an aspirin but I will slog through tomorrows fourth sentence and report the facts and only the facts without any distortion just like the MSM does.
Excellent! I have all the proles here at my factory following your report word for word, after all... the anguish you are going through for The People(TM) and The Children(TM) cannot be denied!
Cotton Candy!!! Likely!!!! Cotton Picking Candy is what this RACCCIIIIIIISSSSSTTTTT Palin meant to say, it's as plain as the beak on my face!
Plantation Political linguistics at it's finest!
(Pssssttttt... did you get that bill straightened out so that we could give all the people in the ghetto's fifty bucks for Xmas, I would hate to lose their vote)
To complete your research on the threat this vile left over from the "Leave it to Beaver" days could have on the Party, I have secured the following "Peoples Research Tool":
It should aid you in "exposing" the dark nature of this wannabe wilderness queen while getting to the "depth" of her insanity.
The enduring sacrifice you are making in exposing this nefarious cretin will go down in the annals of progressive history!!
LONG LIVE COMMODORE SNOOGIE!
Только мертвые рыбы идут с потоком.
Apologies to Gulag 4 Alfred and all others in the collective for this report being a little late, I had to go out and buy a tire pump due to a 'all of the sudden' flat tire I, er just discovered on my bicycle.
Now on to the Fourth sentence!
"Halibut tacos and reindeer sausage."
This Bush in a skirt actually expects you to swallow this FISH STORY OF A LIE
[left]THE LIE THAT A HALIBUT WOULD BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY FIT INTO A TACO!!!!!!!!!! THERE IS NO WAY but only in her delusional world that you could stuff that into a taco shell. Oh the agony I'm going through for the good of the party.
Pssstt:....... RED ROSTER, the 50 bucks should be distributed soon!!!!! I seem to have made a good stock investment in HarperCollins Publishing Co. For some strange reason that I can't fathom their stock has really risen in this pathetic Capitalist economy of late.[/left][/center]
I DENOUNCE SARAH PALIN AND THE "STATE" OF ALASKA. (Who has seen this "Alaska" anyway? There is supposed to be moose browsing over oil, but I think that was an invention of Cheney to justify invading Canada)
Alaskan Reindeer Sausage my shovel's butt! I looked it up:
Quote:Ingredients: Pork, Beef, Reindeer, Water, Salt, Nonfat Dry Milk, Spices, Milk.
Another insidious deception debunked. And to think there still are people who will take Palin's Sentence #4 non-critically! But not us, of course. We know better because we're more smarter!
Outstanding catch! Yet another boldface lie. The FDA demands that the prime ingredient be listed first in this case pork not reindeer. This is nothing but a pork sausage with a reindeer additive but the real truth and facts you'll never get from this fibber.
Shoot, next thing you know this snake-oil salesperson will declare that Alaska actually has a vegetable industry!!!!!!!!
I can only make through FACT- CHECKING the very first part of sentence 5 as I will now prove that Sarah Palin is also in the pockets of big-oil corporate capitalistic masters that direct her to do their nefarious bidding and she is afraid to offend them. The rest is just to much of whooper to go through in one fell swoop. If another Comrade can take up the mantle and provide an OBJECTIVE fact-checking just as I have and the MSM has done with all their stories on her (yet she snivels the MSM wasn't fair, like we on The Cube are going to buy that lie also) on the rest of this sentence of falsehoods, this Comrade would greatly appreciate.
Here it is in all its atrocity...........
"Banjo music playing at the Blue Bonnet Stage, baleen etchings, grass-woven Eskimo baskets, and record-breaking giant vegetables grown under the midnight sun."
I'll take the first part about the Blue Bonnet Stage:
FACTUAL BUT CONCEALS THE REAL TRUTH AFTER ALL!!!!! There are no BLUE BONNETS in Alaska! There is a blue bonnet type flower that Alaskans call LUPINE.
[center][/center] Alaskan Lupine
But is this stage called the Blue Lupine stage? NO. Why would she allow this obvious wrong named stage to be called Blue Bonnet and not protest???? The answer is simple.
Because In Texas they are called BLUE BONNETS!!!!!!!!!!
[left]It is now obvious to anyone, who is not a brain dead rethuglikkan that she didn't protest the name as not to offend her rich oil buddies in Texas which she is in co-hoots with! She would go so far as to besmirch her own constituents, by giving in to allowing the stage to be wrongly named just in order to honor EXXON and the rest of those greedy oil fiends who are all headquartered....yup, that's right in Texas. I do have to ...cough....give this wily Wasilla woman some credit, she is crafty, very crafty, but the real truth will always come out.
The rest of sentence is now yours to provide an OBJECTIVE NON-SLANTED FACT-CHECKING in the finest tradition the MEDIA has set for all of us to follow the minute she was chosen as McSame's running mate.[/left][/center]
The truth, of course, shines through in such spotless documentaries as George Clooney's "Syriana," which proved beyond doubt that Texas oil interests are murdering people left and right (but mostly left) around the world, to advance their regressive agenda. If they could assassinate an Arab sheik, how difficult it would be for them to rub out some minor Alaskan governor if she refused to sneak in subliminal pro-Texas messages in her best-selling book? We should be on lookout for more of those.
"Banjo music"? Another bold-face lie. Everybody knows that Alaskans don't venture outside without their Polar-bear mittens. How can one play banjo wearing Polar-bear mittens? It's getting more and more ridiculous.
And I don't even want to know what those "baleen etchings" are. What kind of a dirty mind could come up with "baleen etchings"? Granted, describing sex scenes with whale body parts at a public fair (like the one in San Francisco's Folsom Market) would not be in conflict with author's moral standards if she were a progressive environmentalist. But for a self-professed conservative this is highly, HIGHLY hypocritical.
I'm too disgusted right now, need to soothe myself with my soothing mitten. Please go on without me, I'll catch up later.