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The People's Dating Service (Holiday Edition)

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Welcome lonely hearts to the People's Dating Service Holiday Edition. Who wants to sit through the the bourgeois holiday season alone? Well here's your chance to find that special someone to keep you company. I know you're all eager to see what Santa Mao has brought so without further adieu let's get this meat meet market open for business.

Not Che Gourmet. Ladies don't be fooled by the tooth fairy outfit. Garth is a middle aged gentleman who's learned his lesson from his stay in Folsom State Prison. If you give him a 2nd chance you'll be treated to long walks on the beach, plenty of hugs and maybe a life on the run as a fugitive.

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Wazzup Ladies? Elmo here is looking for a SWF and he's not particular. To say he's a chubby chaser is an understatement. Hobbies include crack cocaine, fried chicken and jackin' cars.

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How Do I Stop Being So Negative All The Time? Melinda is having a crisis, she desperately wants to be happy and get off her meds. Do you have the medicine she needs? Give her a try gents and you can expect plenty of cuddles along with hours of primal scream therapy.

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God i need a girlfriend sooo badly ! Fred is a blogger just like us (well maybe not exactly like us) but he's really taken a liking to computers ever since his dog left him. He's been thinking of an upgrade to a flesh and blood woman. Ladies, his RAM is guaranteed virus free.

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I've Been Having This Strange Feeling of Now. Estella is really into the Goth lifestyle but she's had her fill of Emos. She's looking for a strong, confident man who can make her fantasies come true. Spend a night in her dungeon non-consensual sex room and learn the pleasure of pure pain.

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Are You Looking For A Personal Bitch To Kiss Your Ass and Pay Your Bills? Don't let Earl's good looks fool you ladies, he's stinkin' rich. Besides living off his inherited fortune he's a real player. He spends his days jumping from Xbox to Wii and has a complete collection of every first shooter game ever written. He also owns a warehouse full of pinball and video arcade games including a genuine Mrs. Pacman. If you're a black widow, he's the guy you been looking for.

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Am I The Only Person Who Cares About People And Thinks Logically? Claudia is hysterical about finding a man that she can respect. Someone who cares as much as she does. Someone with her level of intellect and charm. Guys, if you like making a the scene then this is the girl for you.

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How Many Other People Think It's Crazy that The Universe Is Constantly Expanding? Frank is very feeling. When he's not feeling himself he likes to feel others, so much so he was dismissed as a TSA employee. Now that he's unemployed he spends his time giving free hugs. If you're into plenty of hugs and more, then this is the guy for you. Nuf said.

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Sometimes I Accidentally Grab My Own Boobs In Public. Amy is one wild and crazy bitch lady. She's a chain smoker and connoisseur of distilled beverages. Other hobbies include plucking her unibrow and testing tooth whiteners. Guys, you will never have a dull moment while she's chasing you around the house with a kitchen knife. If drama and excitement are your cup of tea than Amy is the only gal for you.

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How Do I Find Out Who I Really Am? Lucy is discovering herself and she wants a man to discover her too. If you're an adventurous fella you'll find she's a diamond in the rough. Lucy likes to spend quiet evenings teasing her hair and cooking for her man. Her specialties include beanie weenies and macaroni and cheese. Give her kitten a scratch and she'll purr.

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Why Do I Find It So Hard To Forget An Ex-boyfriend? Brenda has a great memory and if you spend any time with her you'll be sure to hear about every last boyfriend she ever had, most of them black. She's looking for a SWM this time. If you own an electric razor that's a plus. Mostly she likes to sit around the table smoking cigarettes and swatting flies (which she seems to attract).

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Why Does Half Of Me Want To Kill Myself While Half Of Me Wants To Live Forever? Clara has issues, to be or not to be. You can help her be if you give her a little love and attention. She's really into Death Metal music and torturing small animals. Other hobbies include arson and shoplifting.

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Is There Any Way To Revoke A Restraining Order? Dorothy is a dear friend of our beloved Frau and very attractive (more on that later). She holds the Guinness record for having more ink than the Sunday edition of the NY Times and more metal in her than an Al-Qaeda terrorist after a Predator drone strike. She's looking for a man with a piercing intellect who doesn't mind getting hooked on her. She enjoys long strolls and carnival freakshows. Just keep her away from strong magnetic fields.

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Still Looking For Mr. Right? People say Larry looks like Putin, others say he looks like that creepy guy from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Either way he's the catch of the day. Larry likes to model wife beater shirts at Walmart when he isn't helping out at the funeral home his parents own. If you treat him right, he'll show you his collection of gallstones and spare body parts.

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Be my Richard Gere like in Nights in Rodanthe. Rachael is a giggle box, in fact she never stops laughing. Doctors think it's a brain tumor but we know she's just a fan of the People's Cube. Guys, if you like a gal with a sense of humor then check her out.

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Comrades,

With a lineup like that you cannot go wrong! Incorrect possibly, but not wrong!

Great job all!

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Comrade Tooorisky wrote: Great job all!

"All" had nothing to do with it.

(I get no respect)


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Comrade Whoopie,

I've seen better looking faces on iodine bottles. If any of those selections walked into a bank they would turn off the cameras. Now here is a selection of fine proggie dates that put the above to shame.

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Global Warming a Hoax? Not on your life and Chaz Chitterling has the data to prove it. Chaz has been taking temperature readings everyday around his place in Mooselips Montana and has detected that this winter has been o.ooooooo1 % warmer than average than last years readings, prove positive! Chaz also hasn't given up on the idea of a soul mate to also warm his heart up as he does his important research, could you be the one to melt his heart?



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Dana Demmycrat has been down in the dumps lately since the November 2nd election. She's looking for a man that can cheer her up and make her forget the results. She also realizes she has an anger issue since she feels she threw her vote down the toilet this year. C'mon guys pick up the phone and get her back in the 'yes we can' mode.




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Jane Fonday has a real bouncy personality and is on a crusade to save the planet by pioneering alternate transportation. No carbon footprint when Jane hits the road just your regular old fashion natural eco-friendly foot print! Hop to it fellows and see that Jane has a date for Saturday night.


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Hey Gals! You udder check this hunk out. Biff Beefster is into health foods and a vegan. A whiz in the kitchen he can whip up some tofu ideas that will have your mouth watering. He is also well on his way to graduating from community college with only 49 credits to go. Don't let Biff skate away and be the first to win his heart.


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Monty Moonbat is ready to jump into the game of love. Monty likes Pina Colodas and getting caught in the rain. He is into yoga, fine art and great conversation. He is understanding and a true romantic.........Oh what the hell am I saying, Monty is looking to get laid and dispense with all the other crap that goes along with trying to get some.
Give him a call and he'll be sure to drop in on you in a moments notice.

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Groucho Marxist wrote:Any of those swing both ways?

Comrade Marxist, is there any reason you would think they did not???

I see Comradette Jane Fonday comes with her own ball. What a shame dear Leader is already spoken for, for as I understand it, he is in need of a . . . . but I digress . . .

Dana Demmycrat... humm, she brings a remembrance of a conversation I recently had with Whoopie, although I cannot remember all the details.

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You are doing a great service to progdom Comrade Whoopie, a great service indeed...

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This holiday season will be fantastic. All of these viable mates available, one more enticing than the next.
I am currently stuck on call at a treatment center, and longing for companionship. This thread offers me a glimmer of hope. Thank you Comrade Whoopie.

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Comrade Whoopie,

My "ALL" meant no disrespect to you, it simply including everyone pictured. Assuming that all the publishing permissions had been granted. This would include subjects of the photos as well as yourself.

The assembledge of these of these items was itself was as great a task as the Brooklyn Bridge.

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Some of these people work faster than Ipecac, and with the same results.

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ummm, I am thinking Amy would make a efficient TSA agent scanner.

Comrade Tooorisky, Lucy looks like the perfect hookup match for you. I hope you will give her a call. (take copious notes so we can share in your glorious date experience!)

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Another one that so far has escaped the Gulag Girls!

NECRO NED.

Necro Ned enjoys those cold gulag evenings sitting by.... well whatever you sit him by. Normally quiet & reserved, Ned needs that special gal/guy/it that truly understands his needs.... like to be kept on ice until election day. It is said that Necro Ned's bedroom skills are the stiff stuff legends are made of. Dig him up today girls, Ned's ready to part-eeeee.

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Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:ummm, I am thinking Amy would make a efficient TSA agent scanner.

Comrade Tooorisky, Lucy looks like the perfect hookup match for you. I hope you will give her a call. (take copious notes so we can share in your glorious date experience!)
Comrade Fraulein,How perceptive of you, aside from yourself, she is large boned and may be able to sustain long hours in the beet fields and help with heavier tasks. With that winning smile, there must be a long line of male comrades.You have my undying gratitude, there may be room for her in the stable, for allowing me to occupy your mind, if only for a short flash.

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Necro Ned, umm, how long as he been deceased or am I jumping conclusionaries? He reminds of my last dating with the People's Dating Service, but I digress . . . .

Tooorisky, there is nothing as comforting in those long winter evening as large bones, now is there? A firm, sturdy worker, she is. I know Comrade Whoopie will be pleased to learn of your personal satisfaction (although let me be clear. I do not believe he as a Return Guarantee guaranteed).

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Groucho Marxist wrote:Any of those swing both ways?

Here you go Groucho...

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Comrade Whoopie wrote:
Groucho Marxist wrote:Any of those swing both ways?

Here you go Groucho...

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Comrade Buffoon, you are asking what we have all asked at one time or another. We have no answer yet but will put you on our "keep me informed" list.

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Well "Bang!" goes another thread for Google Ads. Thanks, Whoopie. Buffoon, perhaps you should change your stormtrooper line to "Why do I admit even knowing Whoopie?"

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Actually none of the above appear to homo or bi sexual. They appear to be trisexual or that is... Will try anything.

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Goo Goo Ga Ga

Feeling a little down after voting this Midterm? Fear not, Necro - Comrades! Goo Goo Ga Ga really has what it takes to get you out of your[highlight=#NaNNaNNaN] [/highlight][highlight=#NaNNaNNaN]current malaise[/highlight]. Talk about uber progressive, this prog thumbs her nose at "until death do we part". This embalming bimbo will literally light you on fire for more Hopey & Changey activism! Goo Goo Ga Ga is the one to keep you aroused right into the next election!

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Comrades,
Dana Demmycrat may have been slighted, she is not down in the dumps, but searching for her long lost sibling. There are times her calls are for "Ralph". There are other calls for "Bertha",
no one can decipher if there are two siblings, or one with two names.

Her search efforts may continue into the forseeable future.

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There are two observations that I, Krasnodar, have.

1. Shovel 4 U's offering of a defunct Stalin with the girl.....that's just plain wrong on so many levels.

2. Whoopie's girl up there is quite normal......she's simply trying to keep a beet warm.

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It's how we cook our beats at Party HQ

(Mmmmm, savory)

DEADBEATS, maybe......

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I hate to think of how Party Headquarters would cook a meat loaf.......

NOYB...Party secret, Krasnodar....Che' LOL You don't want to know!

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So many beautiful female comrades. Anyone of them would turn heads walking through downtown Olympia Collective, and make me the envy of other progs. Is it possible to date two at the same time?

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Comrade Colonel,

It is possible to do this difficult feet. I would hate to be in your feet if they both found out about this double timing. Please be sure you have some sort of metalic encapsulation device for your coconut.

Being on the wrong end of a high speed shovel, especially the Obaminator, may result in extensive head and neurological injuries which you may not recover.

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It seems the Obaminator has become the final tool of justice....the stuff of legend.

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Comrades! The following are courtesy of Cliff Yablonski (he hates you!) at: https://www.somethingawful.com/d/cliff-yablonski/ He has a large selection of comrades/comradettes ready to reproduce for The Children! Image "I am lovely, sexy womyn of sturdy shovel-ready stock, and I needs fine comrade ready to give his all (and I do mean ALL!) for the Glory of Amerikkkan Welfare System...Power to the People, you stupid proles!!!" Image
"Sit on my face and tell me that you love me,
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you o-ra-lize,
When I'm between your thighs,
You blow me awaaay.
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you,
I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you tru-ly.
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine,
If we sit on our faces
In all sorts of places
And play...'till we're blown awaaaaaaaaaay!"

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Thanks for the link S.A.F. Judging by Mr. Yablonski's screed he real does hate everything and everybody. We should make him an honorary member of the Cube.

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That woman in the second photo, I think her father must've been Jabba the Hutt.

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Thank you comrade Pravada for ensuring I will not need to consume my rations for several days, thus reducing my carbon footprint.

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Colonel 7.62 wrote:Thank you comrade Pravada for ensuring I will not need to consume my rations for several days, thus reducing my carbon footprint.

We should all applaud your willingness to reduce your carbon footprint and save the polar bears from having to swim so much, but with these glorious comradettes around, what makes you think there would be any rations left over for you?

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That spontaneous combustion sure does warm those lonely Siberian Nights!

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Here is an available protector of our Young Pioneers!

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FYI Whoopie,

Che' has to fight off the ladies with a baseball bat!


But I have news. I have found a proper Party-approved soul-mate and you will all find her delightful.....she is very proficient with all munitions, but her sharp-shooting skills are beyond compare. And she is totally dotty with ole' Che', so I would temper my remarks around her, comrades.
She is very short tempered with anyone who disses me. Here is a picture for all to feast upon


Imagehttps://military.discovery.com/technolo ... rs-05.html (no drooling allowed, by you or the rest of you Prog Gunslingers I know you're all insanely jealous now)...hahahah, but she's all mine!


Here she is comrade. Sorry, but I am not able to print her pictures without her permission. Such a bit......ch she is! Do you recognize her? PRAISE THE MOTHERLAND!







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Che, because of the uncanny resemblance, I didn't want the ladies to get their hopes up that you were available so I thought I had best make that clear right upfront. You are after all, a notorious 'lady killer.'

The picture you intended to post is showing a broken image icon (did you upload that to the server as mandated by the People's Director?)

Please try again as I'm dying to see your latest acquisition. She sounds intriguing.

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Yes Che, work your clicky thing and share your glorious new found friend!

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Comrade Buffoon wrote:Yes Che, work your clicky thing and share your glorious new found friend!

I have already said that I have a problem transferring my images to the Cube. Therefore, I will give you boys a hint.....309 confirmed kills, WWII, female sniper....enough said! Her images are copyrighted (yeah,she's bad!), so I am having a slight problem with the uploads HaHa! Who knows the lovely lass's name?

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Che Gourmet wrote:
Comrade Buffoon wrote:Yes Che, work your clicky thing and share your glorious new found friend!

I have already said that I have a problem transferring my images to the Cube. Therefore, I will give you boys a hint.....309 confirmed kills, WWII, female sniper....enough said! Her images are copyrighted (yeah,she's bad!), so I am having a slight problem with the uploads HaHa! Who knows the lovely lass's name?

Google says...

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But on second glance:

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I like the cut of her jib......

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Nice SVT 40 rifle. Oh, there is a woman shooting it too.

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Here you go Comrade Che':
Che Gourmet wrote:
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5. Lyudmila Pavlichenko

When Russian sniper Lyudmila Pavlichenko was interviewed by Time magazine in 1942, she derided the American media.

"One reporter even criticized the length of the skirt of my uniform, saying that in America women wear shorter skirts and besides my uniform made me look fat, " she said.

The length of skirt probably didn't matter to the 309 Nazi soldiers Pavlichenko is credited with killing, or to the many Russians she inspired with her bravery and skill.

According to the Financial Times, Pavlichenko was born July 12, 1916, in southern Ukraine and she was a tomboy from the start. Forget playing with dolls, Pavlichenko wanted to hunt sparrows with a catapult; of course she was better at it than most of the boys her age.

When Germany declared war on Russia in 1941, Pavlichenko wanted to fight. But once she got to the front, it wasn't as easy as she thought it would be.

"I knew my task was to shoot human beings," she recalled in a Russian paper. "In theory that was fine, but I knew that the real thing would be completely different." She was right.

Even though Pavlichenko could see the enemy from where she was crouched during her first day on the battlefield, she couldn't bring herself to fire.

But that all changed when a German shot a young Russian soldier set up near Pavlichenko. "He was such a nice, happy boy," she said. "And he was killed just next to me. After that, nothing could stop me."
https://military.discovery.com/technology/weapons/snipers/snipers-05.html

Is this topic ghosting for skanky assness of it, or because the boys got out of line? Yes, I've always had a problem sleeping dogs.... sorry.

To the dogs, that is.

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Cock-a-Doodle-Doooooooooo!!!!

I Killed that Damn Ghost!!! You should have seen him comrades! He was stalking The Bunker™ and the upper courtyard in the Party Pavilion and now he's...

DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!!!!!!
Last edited by Red Rooster on 12/10/2010, 6:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason for editing this post: Ahhhrrmmmmm.... I'll never get a date like this.... (*note to self: remember prozac before dating. check.)

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Comrade Rooster, put your clothes on, the Frau will have to be averting her eye (the real one, not the glass one).

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Remember, this is a family friendly site and Google is watching.

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Comrade Whoopie,

Are you not creator of skanky ass dating service thread? Ass is donkey, da?...er jackass... Googler watch Rooster, Rooster watch Google!!! Da?

OOooooooohhhh... that cock-eyed glass eye always turns me on... you never know who she is loooking at... sooooo sexy!

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Pinkie made me do it.

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Ahem... In that case, Rooster approves. (*covers eyes with talons*) You see shovel comrade? -RR


 
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