Image

POLITICAL BELIEFS ASSESSMENT TEST

5/20/2008, 8:56 am
User avatar
[img]/images/loud.jpg[/img]
Yesterday I received an email from Don Hagen, the author of a funny political quiz that I saw before on the Web but never had time to link to the People's Cube.

I can't post all 179 questions here, but here's a sample.


POLITICAL BELIEFS ASSESSMENT TEST

1: Government's practice of stealing from the rich to give to the poor is...

  • CONSERVATIVE: a crime.
  • LIBERAL: a brave, generous and heroic deed.
  • LIBERTARIAN: a foolish, misguided attempt at social engineering.
  • COMMUNIST: an inspiration to us all.

7: The Center for Public-Health Dietary Self Control releases a study that says eating just one jelly donut is as harmful to human health as smoking 10,000,000 cartons of cigarettes. Do you...
  • CONSERVATIVE: keep eating jelly donuts.
  • LIBERAL: demand that jelly donuts be removed from vending machines, and public school cafeterias.
  • LIBERTARIAN: hoard jelly donuts before they are regulated off grocer's shelves.
  • COMMUNIST: hoard jelly donuts so you can sell them on the black market.
10: What techniques are best for maintaining discipline in the classroom?
  • CONSERVATIVE: If just one student misbehaves, severely punish the entire class.
  • LIBERAL: Force boys who refuse to settle down to take psychotropic drugs, such as Ritalin and Prozac.
  • LIBERTARIAN: Anyone who doesn't want to be in class can leave.
  • COMMUNIST: Anyone who doesn't want to be in class can be made an example of.

19: Cloning human beings...
  • CONSERVATIVE: must be outlawed. The only person who should be creating human beings is God.
  • LIBERAL: must be outlawed. The only permissible nontraditional ways to produce offspring are in vitro fertilization, hiring a surrogate mother, and wife swapping.
  • LIBERTARIAN: is a perfectly acceptable method of reproduction, and is a wonderful source of identical twins.
  • COMMUNIST: may one day produce the perfect comrade.

20: What's the best way to stop people from illegally crossing our borders?
  • CONSERVATIVE: Seal the borders so no one can get in.
  • LIBERAL: Do nothing to beef up security at the borders, and offer illegal aliens a wide array of free services.
  • LIBERTARIAN: Allow unrestricted passage across the borders.
  • COMMUNIST: Seal the borders so no one can get out.

21: How would you define the word "profit"?
  • CONSERVATIVE: What business owners earn by selling a quality product at a competitive price.
  • LIBERAL: What business owners RIP-OFF from their customers.
  • LIBERTARIAN: What business owners are rewarded with for risking the loss of their own money.
  • COMMUNIST: What business owners RIP-OFF from their employees.

See all 179 questions here >>
Back to top
5/20/2008, 3:23 pm
User avatar
I find this quiz offensive. The answer to every question should be "Impeach Bush".
Back to top
5/21/2008, 9:50 am
User avatar
I didn't read all of the questions,but the ones I did read, I admit that I fell more in line w/ the libertarian answers......I need to be purged of my libertarian opinions....help me,Lenin!
Back to top
5/21/2008, 3:01 pm
User avatar
......I need to be purged of my libertarian opinions....help me,Lenin!

Dammit, if I could just keep a cigar lit in this jar, I'd give you a great Groucho impersonation: "Why go to Lenin when you can go straight to Marx...and that would be the sweetest thing I ever poiged!"
Back to top
5/21/2008, 6:09 pm
User avatar
Ivan Betinov wrote:
......I need to be purged of my libertarian opinions....help me,Lenin!

Dammit, if I could just keep a cigar lit in this jar, I'd give you a great Groucho impersonation: "Why go to Lenin when you can go straight to Marx...and that would be the sweetest thing I ever poiged!"
You funny. Where's YOUR hat?
Back to top
5/21/2008, 7:49 pm
User avatar
Funny! Too Funny! I will have to read over the rest of the 150 when I get time.
Back to top
5/22/2008, 5:43 pm
User avatar
Where's YOUR hat?

I don't actually have a hat, or for that matter really want one. The lack of a hat, however, was a useful tool for me to demand compenstation from the hat-wearing elite of the Collective.
Back to top
5/22/2008, 6:22 pm
User avatar
Then where's your compensation?
Back to top
5/22/2008, 6:46 pm
User avatar
Ivan Betinov wrote:
Where's YOUR hat?

I don't actually have a hat, or for that matter really want one. The lack of a hat, however, was a useful tool for me to demand compenstation from the hat-wearing elite of the Collective.

Ahhh,that explains your earlier comment.......I don't want a hat either,I want what you're getting.
Back to top
5/22/2008, 7:29 pm
User avatar
Then where's your compensation?

It will be arriving next Tuesday, according to the Party's timetable.

.......I don't want a hat either,I want what you're getting.

I will share it with you equally next Tuesday.
Back to top

 
POST REPLY

Return to “People's Blog”