In accordance with the desire for Hope and Change that the voters chose in November, the House of Representatives has revealed the new method of writing legislation.
Speaker of the House Nansky Peloski said, in a press release:

I spend so much of my time flying all over the world on my big jets--zoom! zoom!--that I just don't have time to do all the bill writing that I want. So I've just cut out the middle man. Bonnie Fwank and I always fly together and when I need to spend another hundred billion, I just pull the bill out of his ass using my patent-pending Pull Out Of My Ass Bill Maker.

It's a tremendous saver of time. Bonnie really loves it when we reload the POOMA Bill Maker with paper.

I pull most of the bills out of Bonnie's ass when we're flying over red states, of course. You should always shit down on red states.

Bonnie Frank is teaching other members of congress how to pull bills out of their asses but so far only a very few like being loaded up for the process.

Gee, I can't imagine why some Reps don't like the loading up process. . .

On another note, hasn't this been a tradition as long as politics has been a job? The bills have to come from somewhere, and we both know they don't come from paper, and someone writing them down.

I figure that since Teddy is dead, he won't mind the loading process. And I'm sure Bonnie Fwank would love the job as Official Congressional Necrophiliac Bill Loader.

Otto von Bismarck said "Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made." Now we know what he meant.

Judging from the volume of new legislation flowing forth from the Party this year, somebody better get Bonnie some Immodium before he loses his mind.

Barack likes butts, too:<P><img src="https://i810.photobucket.com/albums/zz2 ... oman-1.jpg">

Opiate of the People wrote:Otto von Bismarck said "Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made." Now we know what he meant.

Judging from the volume of new legislation flowing forth from the Party this year, somebody better get Bonnie some Immodium before he loses his mind.

Too late. . .

Opiate of the People wrote: Judging from the volume of new legislation flowing forth from the Party this year, somebody better get Bonnie some Immodium before he loses his mind.

Yeah, how exactly do you manage to write an 800 page stimulus bill and follow up with a 1300 page health care bill? And how many pages was Cap-n-Tax?

If nobody has time to read these bills, who the hell managed to write them in only a few months?

You'd almost think they had these all written up years ago and they've just been waiting for the One to arrive on the scene.

Kind and Generous Leader: I have heard of "pulling it out of my ass" but this is more than I was ready for........ Anyway I guess I was misinformed they said the "Elite" in the District do not have anuses, that all of the people in Washington are walking talking assholes. Every time Nansky opens her mouth I feel I am looking at a rectum. Reid is a walking asshole, and the venerable Arlin Sphincter, can't keep it shut.


Yes D.C. is the "Mecca" of bung-holes....

Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

Comrade Whoopie wrote: You'd almost think they had these all written up years ago and they've just been waiting for the One to arrive on the scene.

I hate to beat a metaphor to death, but what the hell, it just fits the circumstances so well...

Yes, the Party has had Legislative Constipation since 1994 and Obama is the laxitive that stimulated the diarrhea of victory!

Now, let us flush the fruits(?) of their labor and wipe the slate clean.

Red Star, I think that we can consider that the Progressives are people who just pull things out of their asses. Our asses.

I never think. It makes my head hurt. That's why I pull everything out of my ass. Reasoning? Fah. Who cares about reasoning? When I was in college I was <i>expected</i> to reason because I studied math, but what good did that do me? Nothing. Nothing I tell you.

I didn't make me feel big and powerful like being a Made Prog does. I had to bow to--wait for it--that awful thing called reality.

Now don't choke up. I'm a made Prog and therefore I reject reality.

Because dealing with reality is someone else's problem.

POOMA causes hemaroids, at least that's what I hear, I gave up on on POOMA and PUMA when I learned Dear Leader would take care of everything for me. Now I don't need POOMA or PUMA and all the hemaroids are in DC.
====================================================
Sponsored by Desperation H - When a little donkey boy just won't do.

Comrade Theocritus,

When I first saw your post, I thought it was a map to your house. And now you tell us it's Comrade Frank's ass. Well, at least the bills Bonnie produces will go well with the Nanski Peloski Poop-eel Automatic Nanski Peloski personalpoop portable solar powered poop recycling machine. (Click Here for Reference)

Comrades, I am some what disturbed. I was walking by a KKKapitolist "Tea Party" the other day. And I heard some of these obvious Rethuglicans, calling the Obamessiah, Nansky, Dead Ted, and many more of the people's heroes "Assholes"

I declare, that immediately the word "Asshole" is now raciest.

Comrade Turnitoff, rally the troops, have them harshly deal with this "Hate Speech ®"

Red Rooster, get over to the Grave yard and get us some voters.

Colonel 7.62, Equip the "Seiu thugs", lazy acorn scum, Brain Dead Democratic AstroTurfers, Errrrr volunteer grass roots freedom supporters with Peoples rifles, (No ammo these people are too dumb)

Let's stop this hate speech now!!!


Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

I am shocked, <b>shocked</b> that anyone would call Nansky or Dead Ted or Dear O'Leader an asshole.

This is grounds for a slander suit by proctologists.

Red Star wrote:Red Rooster, get over to the Grave yard and get us some voters.

The Cockled Commissar of Graveyard Entrances is on it! If it's votes you want, it's votes you get.

"Come here you feel good voter! I SAID COME HERE! There now, that's a good little vote waster...."

*grabs maul, place prole's head on stump*

"Now then, you've seen how they do it on the chicken farms, right!?! RIGHT!?! Good..."


THWACK!!!

(100,000,000 to go...)

Comrade Whoopie wrote:

Opiate of the People wrote: Judging from the volume of new legislation flowing forth from the Party this year, somebody better get Bonnie some Immodium before he loses his mind.

Yeah, how exactly do you manage to write an 800 page stimulus bill and follow up with a 1300 page health care bill? And how many pages was Cap-n-Tax?

If nobody has time to read these bills, who the hell managed to write them in only a few months?

You'd almost think they had these all written up years ago and they've just been waiting for the One to arrive on the scene.

The bills were cut and pasted from the scribblings of Young Socialists' Club meetings.

If we are now pulling bills out of asses, then it is time to start prescribing People's Laxative to our Dear Leaders. That way, with a single mighty push, we can get an entire legislative session done at once. In fact, they should install a bill shitter in the Oval Office, so that once a bill is pulled out of an ass, Obama can sign it while it is still warm and fresh.

Yes, Colonel, and since Bruno is now winning the race for the ass to pull bills out of, that means that I get to get rid of him.

This is a win/win for me. The country gets progressive legislation. It saves wear and tear on the brain of Nansky. And I get rid of Bruno.

Congratulations on that Comrade Commissar.

He said, "...sign it while it's still warm and fresh."

Could this new product be called LegiLax(TM)? Five times more legislation with twice the crap!?!

Commissar, are you referring to the elephant dung paintings, or the piss christ scribblings?

Don't eat the yellow snow!

Comrade Red Rooster, you are a socialist genius! Which probably means you are scheduled to be purged at some point soon. However, for a very small bribe....... err contribution to the Revolutionary Red Guards, I can make sure your name is off my purge rolls.

Meanwhile, LegiLax(TM) sounds like a sure fire, progressive winner!

Colonel, All I have are these two paper weights from Bawny Fwanks desk, a little bribe gift I received for keeping quiet about the housing bubble he helped create house boy he tried to mate. Please accept this as my bribe... er... donation.

Most suitable paperweights. Strange, I seem to have spilled vodka on my purge list, and a name has blotted and smeared. Funny how that happened. Guess I best round up Comrade Roto Rooter while the name is fresh in my mind.

7.62, don't you remember that you emailed me that purge list? Perhaps we ought to let RR that I have a copy of it too. This is only for record keeping you know; I would do nothing to hinder dear Comrade Red Rooster. Just as I'd not hinder Pupovich.