I was worried about the silence of one of our most esteemed members, Sister Massively Opiated, and dropped her a line. She's had some medical problems but in typical fashion is soldiering on without complaint. She's starting up a new business and straightening out things, and will return when there is more time for pleasant raillery.

I certainly hope SMO's new business is related to advancing the revolution, like radical cheer leading, breeding of progressive suicide-bomber dolphins, or the advancement of poodle-shooting howitzers. In that case the extreme secrecy of her mission would be explained by the classified nature of said activities.

And please stop spreading the untruths about SMO's medical problems. Such statements negate all of our pain$taking effort to convince Amerikkkans that people in Canada by definition are healthy and can't have medical problems due to the socialized nature of their healthcare system.

The Politburo mandates to qualify SMO's condition as a paper cut and wishes her a speedy recovery.

Cool dolphin.

Get Well Soon!

I was wondering what happened to SMO. Good luck with your new undercover post and get better soon, er, I mean, hope your paper cut heals quckily.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I was worried about the silence of one of our most esteemed members, Sister Massively Opiated, and dropped her a line. She's had some medical problems but in typical fashion is soldiering on without complaint. She's starting up a new business and straightening out things, and will return when there is more time for pleasant raillery.

Theocritus Lies,

I complain professionally... what else can I do? I am Canadian.

Theorcritus Tells the Truth,

I was overcome by some responsibilities and took the opportunity to try to organize my life a little, and as I have this stigmata of a paper cut, the loss of blood has slowed things down a little... but I'm getting there. The domicile is coming along, again, albeit slowly... and though we have managed to eradicate Trotsky, The Progressive Kulak Monster (or at least banish him to the UK where he is enjoying the weather... I fully expect him to return when the weather cools down and stops melting his stolen butter caches... For those of you not familiar with the Kulak Nospurratu, you may begin your education with the introductory link and work your way through the rest of the referred to thread... as you will see, the Progressive Kulak Monster will infest your bunkers, steal your People's Cubes and try to paint the squares different colours in order to provoke competition, hoard butter and coffee, and scare your children... they can be killed, but return with each full moon... if you continue on to the second page of the referred to post, you will see the battle Red and I waged against this grey flannel menace, as well as hear the tale of the Kulak Monster that bednyaks tell their children to frighten them when they misbehave... but it is not all fiktion... nor is it at all certain yet that we have won, but the fight continues, or will... when this incredibly deep paper cut heals...)

Red Square wrote:I certainly hope SMO's new business is related to advancing the revolution, like radical cheer leading, breeding of progressive suicide-bomber dolphins, or the advancement of poodle-shooting howitzers. In that case the extreme secrecy of her mission would be explained by the classified nature of said activities.

And please stop spreading the untruths about SMO's medical problems. Such statements negate all of our pain$taking effort to convince Amerikkkans that people in Canada by definition are healthy and can't have medical problems due to the socialized nature of their healthcare system.

The Politburo mandates to qualify SMO's condition as a paper cut and wishes her a speedy recovery.

Red Square Tells the Truth,

Only this morning I spent an entire four hours on the telefon with the Ministry of Cruel and Unusual Punishment, arranging for proper care of my paper cut... I have an appointment for treatment in October, a beautiful month where I live, as the colours of the leaves on the trees changes to a stunning array of reds found only in this part of the world... October is a good month to die...

I do thank you all for your concern, and your good wishes which I have received and have, I admit, been remiss is answering as promptly as I should. Aside from Red's tasking orders, I have been reorganzing the bunkers in preparation for the coming winter (the polar bears come ever closer), working under cover as a struggling kapitalist pretending to attempt to earn a living by working independently, disguising my papercut as several crippling autoimmune disorders (but which I am receiving treatment for and which are improving... Michael Moore is dokumenting my case for his next film, tentatively titled Dolphins and Polar Bears: An Inconvenient Cold War), and the rest cannot be disgust... I mean discussed (sorry... Kanadski English is not so good) as both Laika has invoked the private freqency claws (Rrrruff!), and as Red has pointed out, a papercut is not something to be trifled with.

I am hoping to have all this business cleared up as quickly as possible and return to the glorious arms of the Cube to once again take up my responsibilities toward the Party Organ... I am very much looking forward to sharing my adventures with the masses and getting on with the work of The People, which is truly what I most enjoy...

I have missed you all terribly, my darlings, and you are never far from my thoughts... Pravda, Meow, Laika, Theocritus, Hedgehog, Dr. P... Betsky... and of course, Glorious Red and my darling C. Otis... I only hope that you can bear with me a little longer... I promised I wouldn't disappear for an entire year again, and I won't, but I believe this paper cut needs a little more time to mend (though again... the new and miraculous medication is doing it's thing... only a little slowly)... I will do my best to drop in a little more often, especially because I just had a look around and Great Uncle Mikhail's Liver Spot!!! There's a sh!tload of stuff to catch up on since I slipped licking that envelope and cut my tongue!!! I believe my first work back will involve some Smiley work, just to cheer myself for the task of clearing the decks... but in due time... Michael is trying to get in my front door again and I believe I accidentally locked it, and as we have been testing some armaments, I wouldn't want Aki (he is a grumpy little dolphin today... they tightened his braces, though what he is complaining about, I have no idea... Sister had the first surgery on her jaw at the end of May and now I have to wear a stupid retainer that makes me lisp until it heals completely... what is it with dolphins and orthodontia around here?) or Chicken Shushi to accidently 'wing' him (we couldn't very well tell him we have guns and shoot people who just walk into our unlocked houses uninvited... he'd have to recut the entire ending of one of his films... if he survived - Sushi's a great shot and he's a freaking huge target... and if he didn't survive, we'd have to eat him... ... ... hmm.... It's never too early to start stocking up for winter... even if they are getting a little warmer... and we are going to have to feed all those polar bears... and Algore has supposedly started dieting, having caught on to the fact that we were fattening him up... .. .. .... though we did manage to give his welp a honking case of the munchies... but of course, that seems to have fallen to sh!t as well as a result of your ridikulously strict drug laws... <heavy sigh>... best laid plans of mice and dolphins... but I do go on... I can only put it down to slight blood loss... please excuse this slightly anaemic dolphin... )


More... and soon... but now, it's meds time...
SMO

SMO, Algore is not dieting. He's been talking with Michael Moore and has to diet. Enough food for both of them would cause the crust of the earth to collapse so he's not dieting by choice but by necessity. This is because once Michael asked the Gorobot, "Do you wanna do Shoneys?" And Algore did--and they ate the entire franchise. Well, there's part of a parking lot in Seacausus but they started in Texas which is now smaller than Oklahoma.

Rosie O'Donnell was there tucking into the garbage bins but Michael stuck his pointed noise into her broad beam and that's why she has that look on her face. Well that and because she insists on wearing a jock strap and filling it with a banana. Which doesn't like it.