Comrades,

I was just checking my email to see how my efforts to help a poor Nigerian with some financial transaction problems he is experiencing at the moment is going. When I had a new message.

It said click on the following link for an awesome free music video. So I clicked and I am still puking.

Comrades if you see an email that advises you to click and see an awesome free music video DO NOT CLICK IT. Of course there are those who will do it out of morbid curiosity, so to prevent that from happening I'll just post the horrible thing here so you can just delete the email at home if you receive it.

Imagine my disappointment, Comrade Snoogie Woogums, at not finding more delish recipes within the confines of this post. I just knew you had been in Che's kitchen once again creating more fantastic anti-capitalist repasts. Oh well.... One can only dream.... I fondly remember those "Spam" Holidays when meat was served to us on those special days honoring workers.

Then again there was always those times the kitchen staff would serve their special beef soup following the untimely passings of bunk mates in the gulags to cheer us all in our time of loss and revitalize our morale for working in the beet fields.

Comrade Snoogie... such song is INSULT to my Mooslime bretheren!!

WE ALL MUST SUBMIT!!!

LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA

(even when we do such posting we must be for hitting SUBMIT button, are we not?)

I eat cold spam and canned pineapple to celebrate Obama's Hawaiian roots on the anniversary of his birthday (whenever that was) as well as his immaculation.

On a more serious note, please beware of scams soliciting aid money for Japanese earthquake victims. Japan is probably the best equipped nation when it comes to dealing with an earthquake aftermath. Although this one is particularly bad be suspicious of any claim that the government there is overwhelmed and can't help their citizenry without your generous donation.

Mrs. Al, good to hear from you. We missed your fuzzy chin.

I am for always getting clicking emails and when I click I am hoisted overseas to some Chinaman web site where they are selling the most un-notable, nefarious items I have ever seen. Now I have drawers full of un-notables & nefarious gadgets. Some of which I am afraid to use, since the directions seem very "invasive".

I wish you comrades had give such warnings sooner. I would have many more dollars to my name.... and lesson shocked looks at items I have been forced to see.

Good to see you again, Mrs. Al.

i like Spam with my borscht, but it always gives me gas...

Comrade Menace,

Most unfortunately, you and your vehicle use different kinds of gas.

Now we have Hate Spam? Will the crimes of George Bush never end?

I received some of your mail by accident Commodore:
To: Commodore Snoogie Woogums
From: Little Abayomi

Dear Snoogies,
Received $1,500 you sent kind. Thank so much. We there almost. All am needings is $5,000 to pay local Bank Clerk and then I transfer $150 Million (US) your accounts we discussed.
Sincere,
Little Abayomi

Grigori E.R. wrote:Now we have Hate Spam? Will the crimes of George Bush never end?

I received some of your mail by accident Commodore:
To: Commodore Snoogie Woogums
From: Little Abayomi

Dear Snoogies,
Received $1,500 you sent kind. Thank so much. We there almost. All am needings is $5,000 to pay local Bank Clerk and then I transfer $150 Million (US) your accounts we discussed.
Sincere,
Little Abayomi

Why Thank You Comrade!

Oh and I don't mind that you posted my private email for the entire collective to see as it shows that I'm a true prog that is just helping a poor unfortunate third world victim of white colonial imperialism get a little justice back from the 'man'.
What was interesting though out of all the people in the world that Abayomi could have sent email to asking for a little assistance in this matter......HE PICKED ME! Figure the odds on that one.

Snoogie, I do share your astonishment at being selected. You know, all of us who are True Believers in this Hopey-n-Changey bullshitgospel have to practice a lot of Forced Belief.

Yes, Forced Belief. That's it. I make myself believe five impossible things before breakfast. So when I turn on the news and see the smiling face of The Chosen One, Our Anointed Leader, I smile instead of, well, I hate to say it, puke up my guts.

See how important it it to believe in impossible things?

Forced belief! That's it, comrades, forced belief!

Or perhaps I ought to call it Forced Faith. I think that the acronym would be more suitable.

Father Prog Theocritus wrote:Or perhaps I ought to call it Forced Faith. I think that the acronym would be more suitable.

Indeed FPT. A most appropriate new acronym to add to the lexicon of the Collective™: Forced Faith™.

Applying Forced Faith™ helps us to understand the infinite wisdom of the Goracle and what it is to love a tree; the nuanced dronings of The One as he deigns utterance to his well-scripted impromptu speeches; to settle once and for all that Global Warming™ is real science based on real, man-made facts; that Keynesian economics works everytime it's tried—as long as the "right" people are implementing it, and that Liberal Christianity is NOT the same as the New Age of Enlightenment®.

Whinny, I think that you have hit on something. "Global Warming™ is real science based on real, man-made facts..."

Brilliant. Just brilliant. You realize that you have immanentized the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. You have brought the ineffable nature of quantum mechanics to the macro level, where I thoroughly use that ineffable nature to eff everyone.

We don't know. In olden times we had to hire a pollster to tell us what we wanted told us. We had to hire people to lie, er, spin, for us. Pardon. My truth girdle burst.

It is a man-made fact, and therefore true science, that Our Many Titted Empress does not have a fat ass. It is a man-made fact, and therefore true science, that Nanski Peloski does not sleep hanging by her feet from the roof of a crypt. It is a man-made fact, and therefore true science, that Michelle Obama is more than a baby mama. It is a man-made fact, and therefore true science, that Lord Obozo is not a joint venture of Disney's animatronics and TelePrompTer.

And as far as using this newfound power to eff all the effable, I'm rolling up my sleeves right now and spitting on my hands.

I'm Father Prog Theocritus, and I Can™.

Dear FPT,

is a man-made fact, and therefore true science, that Our Many Titted Empress does not have a fat ass. It is a man-made fact, and therefore true science, that Nanski Peloski does not sleep hanging by her feet from the roof of a crypt. It is a man-made fact, and therefore true science, that Michelle Obama is more than a baby mama. It is a man-made fact, and therefore true science, that Lord Obozo is not a joint venture of Disney's animatronics and TelePrompTer.

Might I humbly submit to you that your examples have no need for man-made facts, but are proven truths/science that stand on their own merits? Our many Titted Empress indeed has a fat ass; no man-made facts needed to prove that. Nanski Peloski does hang by her feet from the roof rafters of a crypt somewhere in BFE San Francisco. And it's also true (but not mentioned much for secretive reasons), her alliance with Auntie Semitic is solely based on her increased need for formaldehyde shots because she has developed a tolerance for the botox injections. Lord Obozo is a joint venture of Disney, Pixar, TelePrompTer and quite possibly G.E. too. They bought his skinny MOO-latte ass. But I will concur with you on MOO-chelle being more than a baby mama: it certainly was man-made facts that conjured up the exemplar.

And one more thing, FPT, it was your inspiration regarding Forced Faith™ that opened my eyes to see the real science based on the real man-made facts. And that needs ineffable amounts of Forced Faith™.