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Trump: Russians to sell cherries

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BREAKING NEWS: The cherry blossoms peak bloom date has been pushed back five days according to sources in the Trump White House. CNN's Social Justice Investigative Team has uncovered a trail of lies and deception leading directly back to a secret meeting and numerous conversations between Trump officials and Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak.

Administration insiders describe loud and often violent arguments between Trump and his handlers over who should take blame for the delay. In the meantime, the National Park Service website is being used to cover up the deception by blaming Obama funding cuts. The trees could not be reached for comment.

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Wait a minute, Comrade! I was just reading somewhere (I'll come back and edit this when I find it) that cherry blossom season in Washington, DC is early because of Global Warming!

Edit: See it here:

https://web.archive.org/web/20170310195 ... 5960a8882f

And as every Made Prog knows, the Washington Post is never wrong. Ever.

This is, of course, a worldwide environmental catastrophe. Because everything that happens in DC has worldwide consequences.

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The first wave of Putin's storm-babushkas arrive to corner the market, taking advantage of the hacked cherry blossom in Washington, DC.

[img]/images/various_uploads/Cherries_Babushkas.jpg[/img]

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Damn KKKapitalism <spit!><spit!>, spoiling everything by blowing evil carbon into environment!
Making the precious Planet overheating (by undercooling - korrekt, Comrade Lysenkomann)!

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With Global Messiah that would have never happened!

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US_1927_WashDC_Tidal_Basin_Cherry_blossoms_(600).jpg
(WashDC, Cherry blossoms - dancers at Tidal Basin)
(ahem, A.D. 1927)_

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CherryVodka.jpg
Comrades,


I'm in the tractor barn. (you know which one) Stop by for a sip of Trumps Special Fruit Juice. I started this batch right after lunch, so it's super el primo!

INGREDIENTS

1-1/8 lbs sour cherries, pitted and halved
25 oz fresh vodka from tank #2
2 lbs juiced potato peelings (optional)

PREPARATION

Fill a jar with the cherries and pour the vodka on top. Seal tightly. Leave in a dark, cool place for between 6 hours and 3 months - whichever comes first. After ageing is complete, open the jar and drink. Repeat as needed.

CC



<hic>


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And how are Putin's storm-babushkas planning on pitting all those hacked cherries??!!!

Just like Wikileaks, Crazy Russian Hacker knows all and tells all.................................



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Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:And how are Putin's storm-babushkas planning on pitting all those hacked cherries??!!!

Just like Wikileaks, Crazy Russian Hacker knows all and tells all.................................


Well, I used to pop a lot of cherries back when I was young... and I didn't need any help from plastic devices!

Not bragging or anything. Just sayin'

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Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote: Well, I used to pop a lot of cherries back when I was young... and I didn't need any help from plastic devices!

Not bragging or anything. Just sayin'

Komrade, these modern cherries are full of disease. Sometimes the cherry isn't even there, it's been popped already! And sometimes the cherry is attached to a leftist marxist feminist! Is it any wonder plastic devices are needed to safely pop the cherry nowadays?

Then again, these are reports from other people. As soon as the Komrades of the fairer sex see my bushy palms, inch-thick glasses, and watery knees they tend to run for the hills.

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Comrade Stierlitz wrote:Komrade, these modern cherries are full of disease. Sometimes the cherry isn't even there, it's been popped already! And sometimes the cherry is attached to a leftist marxist feminist!
So I've heard, Comrade, so I've heard. They just don't make 'em like they used to, do they?

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I hear some damn kids out on my lawn again... has anyone seen where I put my glasses?

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[OFF]
I knew this topic would deteriorate (degenerate?) eventually. I'm just surprised that it took so long.

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Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote: Well, I used to pop a lot of cherries back when I was young... and I didn't need any help from plastic devices!

Not bragging or anything. Just sayin'

Komrade, these modern cherries are full of disease. Sometimes the cherry isn't even there, it's been popped already! And sometimes the cherry is attached to a leftist marxist feminist! Is it any wonder plastic devices are needed to safely pop the cherry nowadays?

Then again, these are reports from other people. As soon as the Komrades of the fairer sex see my bushy palms, inch-thick glasses, and watery knees they tend to run for the hills.


Tsk.....tsk.....tsk.....maybe male Comrades should stop hunting women based on viewing them through the kaleidoscopal prism of their little brain. Comrades should look for a virtuous woman instead of throwing hotdogs down hallways and contracting all sorts of unpleasantness.




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Does this mean we will have cherry wodka instead of beet wodka?

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Minitrue wrote:Does this mean we will have cherry wodka instead of beet wodka?

Once a year, Comrade Minitrue - that is, until global climate change alters the planet's orbit, the cherry trees all die, and the Earth spirals quietly into the sun. In the meantime, drink up!

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Captain Craptek wrote:
Minitrue wrote:Does this mean we will have cherry wodka instead of beet wodka?

Once a year, Comrade Minitrue - that is, until global climate change alters the planet's orbit, the cherry trees all die, and the Earth spirals quietly into the sun. In the meantime, drink up!
We have ten years before the earth is destroyed by Trump's policies. And that's no amateur estimation; I've been predicting the end of the world in ten years since 1970. I know what I'm talking about.

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Craptek,

I thought you were writing about Russian brides.

--KOOK

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:We have ten years before the earth is destroyed by Trump's policies. And that's no amateur estimation; I've been predicting the end of the world in ten years since 1970. I know what I'm talking about.
Lemme see... 2017 + TRUMP! + 10 = ... yep!, 2027, most korrekt, Komissar - dead end!

I reckon, your former predictions suffered from a glitch in modelling the villain-factor.
Lemme see...
...Nixon (villain, oy, villain!) ...Ford (uh, oh) ...Reagan (arrgh, villain! villain! villain! baddie!)
...Bush-1 (baddie!) ...Bush-2 (baddie! bad baddie! villain!).

But the 97% consensus in UACCVFT, the Unified Anthropogenic Climate Change Villain-Factor Theory, is: you need a SUPER-villain! Boom, here we are - 2017, TRUMP!

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[color=#C0392B]Genosse Dummkopf was korrekt when he[/color] wrote:
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:We have ten years before the earth is destroyed by Trump's policies. And that's no amateur estimation; I've been predicting the end of the world in ten years since 1970. I know what I'm talking about.
Lemme see... 2017 + TRUMP! + 10 = ... yep!, 2027, most korrekt, Komissar - dead end!

I reckon, your former predictions suffered from a glitch in modelling the villain-factor.
Lemme see...
...Nixon (villain, oy, villain!) ...Ford (uh, oh) ...Reagan (arrgh, villain! villain! villain! baddie!)
...Bush-1 (baddie!) ...Bush-2 (baddie! bad baddie! villain!).

But the 97% consensus in UACCVFT, the Unified Anthropogenic Climate Change Villain-Factor Theory, is: you need a SUPER-villain! Boom, here we are - 2017, TRUMP!
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I KNEW I was right this time. Thanks to great minds like Dummkopf and Craptek, the People's Science™ is settled!

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Read and applaud, comrades:

"Senate Democrat wants to spend millions to probe whether RT News is...Russian"

The RT post on this subject looks like it's torn from the pages of Glorious Kube itself. Life is truly imitating our collective.

Now that the motherland has become anathema, should we change our attires? Are Ushanka's still allowed? The Kurrent Truth is changing so fast these days.

But back to the matter at hand, comrades, spending money. I demand expensive research into these other obscure mysteries:
- what country is Vladimir Putin president of ?
- what language do the Russians actually speak?
- is the Kremlin really in Russia, or in the basement of the Trump tower?

Are there other mysteries that can only be solved by throwing money at them? Please send us your opinion.

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Minitrue wrote:... Are Ushanka's still allowed? ...
A pussified, pink Ushanka (Pushanka?) would, I guess, still pass Zye Tsyenzura.

(now just wait and.. see Comrade Craptek go goggle-eyed? Pushanka! bushy charm! )

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Minitrue wrote:... Are there other mysteries that can only be solved by throwing money at them? Please send us your opinion.
Yeah, and next gazillion $$ to reveal :
- RT : does it stand for Rerum Terrestris? Real-Time? Rex Tyrannosaurus?
- should R really stand for Russia, then : T certainly stands for Trump, ah?

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Minitrue wrote:Read and applaud, comrades:

"Senate Democrat wants to spend millions to probe whether RT News is...Russian"

The RT post on this subject looks like it's torn from the pages of Glorious Kube itself. Life is truly imitating our collective.

Now that the motherland has become anathema, should we change our attires? Are Ushanka's still allowed? The Kurrent Truth is changing so fast these days.

But back to the matter at hand, comrades, spending money. I demand expensive research into these other obscure mysteries:
- what country is Vladimir Putin president of ?
- what language do the Russians actually speak?
- is the Kremlin really in Russia, or in the basement of the Trump tower?

Are there other mysteries that can only be solved by throwing money at them? Please send us your opinion.
That has to be fake news from some alt-right Koch funded propaganda site. Russia Today would be abbreviated РС, not RT.


 
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