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USA Today's current truth about chainsaw bayonets

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USA Today has done its progressive duty by releasing a video calculated to scare the unwashed masses with various dreadful modifications to AR-15 rifle, which included a chainsaw bayonet.

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This sparked a lively discussion on Twitter, with over two thousand commenters asking where they could buy a chainsaw bayonet, or proposing other useful attachments, such as, a pencil sharpener, a pizzawheel, a banana named "apple," and Kevin Spacey's head for converting your firearm into a sexual assault rifle.

WATCH: 'USA Today' Warns People To Beware Of AR-15 Armed With Chainsaws

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The only person wielding a chainsaw bayonet in our experience is Comrade Olga Photoshopova (left).

We'll be expecting her to share some useful techniques on operating it.

On our part, we propose this aftermarket modification:


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And whad, no frontally mounted V-2 ? _Himmelherrgottdonnerwetterkreuzgewitterwolkenbruch !

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USA Today left out bayonets even more dangerous than the chainsaw.

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Other bayonet options


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If the shooter had this barrel modification, he might have destroyed the whole planet!

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And I cannot even imagine the mayhem this would have caused:

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:And whad, no frontally mounted V-2 ? _Himmelherrgottdonnerwetterkreuzgewitterwolkenbruch !

Comrade Dummkopf, you've mistakenly mentioned the Ultra-Top Secret Hipster Assault Force aka (F-Troop)

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F-Troops Futuristic weapons

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Fortunately, the Honorable Senator Chuck Schumer is on the case...

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I like the weed whacker bayonet modification for around the yard but now I think I'll ask for the chainsaw bayonet for Christmas. It looks pretty handy.

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A dual-use system. Remember: An army marches on its stomach!


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And of course Model Messiah:
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In action (already seen here) :

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plus more action (reuse) :

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The chainsaw bayonet is the attachment of choice for assault rifles used by Man-bear-pig.


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Now that USA Today has become the official laughingstock extension to AR-15 rifle, our "laughingstock" image has gone viral and is making rounds on various blogs, including Power Line.

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So it exists after all.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">When people ask me how I feel about gun control: <a href="https://t.co/lE8NalWQpP">pic.twitter.co ... </p>&mdash; Hotep Jesus (@HotepJesus) <a href=" 3, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>


 
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