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Vote Remain or Cthulhu Will Devour Your Soul!

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Disturbing news from the ministry, comrades!

As you all know, on the 23th of June the British proles will vote in a referendum to remain or leave the European Union.

For the past months Comrade Cameron, the exalted leader of the British peasants and workers, has been waging a completely unbiased and korrekt campaign for the "Remain" camp. He has been warning his fellow Tommies about the dangers of leaving the warm breast of the European bureaucratic land of milk and honey, predicting - among many other disasters - the outbreak of World War Three, the downfall of the global economy, and a fascist coup d'état.

But the unruly subjects of the most wise and merciful British establishment politicians are seriously considering voting for "Brexit." What a shameful betrayal of their selfless leaders!

Because time is running out to replace the Brits with Syrian refugees (as is happening in the rest of Europe) before the referendum, comrade Cameron has now revealed to us a new most shocking and completely believable argument against leaving the EU. In Mr Cameron's own words:

If the British population perseveres in this folly and votes for a so-called Brexit, I have credible information that the Dark Lord Cthulhu will rise to destroy the British Isles and devour the soul of every man, woman and child in his path.

Mr. Cthulhu, one of the Great Old Ones of the Lovecraft™ Mythos, had this to say in a telephone interview:

Yesssssssssh.
You must all vote rrrrrrrrrremaaaaaaain...
Europpppppe will rrrrule allllll.
Act againsssst my will and I will make slavesssss of you all.
I will torture your beloved onesssss before your eyessss for all eternity.
You will beg for deathhhhhh.
I will feassssst on your tearssssss.

With this new and korrekt information, we here at the Ministry of Truth are certain the British people will think twice before voting for the despised and unnatural Brexit.

Yours in giving unbiased information,
Comrade Minitrue

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Golly,... does this mean someone found the "special" parchment with runic inscriptions? Uh, ohh!

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Captain Craptek, is that pic from a specific movie? (Or just you monday morning? ;) ) Greetz

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Minitrue + Captain Craptek : wrote:... pic from a specific movie? ...
... uh, good old Odo Shima Godzilla of A. D. 1954 ? — but (a) touched by Monsanto, and
(b) under Global Warming stress, and (c) thusly strayed into Caribbean Sea & Chavismo-2000 ?

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Prog Off.png
Good try, comrades - but it's Night of the Demon (or Curse of the Demon in USSA) 1957 British horror movie. I saw it in the local movie theater as a high schooler. Great movie.

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Captain Craptek wrote:
Prog Off.png
Good try, comrades - but it's Night of the Demon (or Curse of the Demon in USSA) 1957 British horror movie. I saw it in the local movie theater as a high schooler. Great movie.
It does't hold a candle to this English monstrosity.

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Biff Henderson wrote:
Captain Craptek wrote:
Prog Off.png
Good try, comrades - but it's Night of the Demon (or Curse of the Demon in USSA) 1957 British horror movie. I saw it in the local movie theater as a high schooler. Great movie.
It does't hold a candle to this English monstrosity.

Ha! Comrade Biff. This reminds me of a place where I worked in Las Vegas. They were trying to decorate the place which was rather large and new, and decided to include artificial trees along the hallways. Some of us with senses of humor referred to them as Triffids! And, if you knew who was in charge of all of this decorating you would absolutely agree! It was a dreadful place to work. Nasty megalomaniacal control freaks and zombies galore! The leaders of this company finally wound up in jail, which they deserved.

Comrade Students,
Here is Godzilla in all his (her?) glory. The movie poster does invite modifications from those in the party with mad graphic skills.

Godzilla_poster.jpg

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Biff Henderson wrote:
Captain Craptek wrote:
The attachment Prog Off.png is no longer available
Good try, comrades - but it's Night of the Demon (or Curse of the Demon in USSA) 1957 British horror movie. I saw it in the local movie theater as a high schooler. Great movie.
It does't hold a candle to this English monstrosity.

Day of the Triffids is also a first rate entry! Not many years later I had a small part in this classic!

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Comrade Pamalinsky,

If Hollywood did a remake the Triffid spores would be spread by the rising of the oceans.

Humor in the workplace. When I worked at the Humane Society they expanded my duties to include running a crematorium. I wasn't too pleased with the situation. I let it be know I felt that merited an increase in play. We didn't come to an understanding so I had a bumper-sticker made that said " I (Heart) all dogs, well done " and made a point of parking my car close to the main entrance so clients could get an eyeful. The director called me into her office and said my sentiment was inappropriate. I asked her - is it now inappropriate to take pride in my work? That I should hide from the world what is asked of me, I cannot celebrate a job well done? The look on her face, the dead silence. Dear Leader™ would be pleased to hear inclusiveness won the day.

Captain Craptek - After all these years the thought of it still gives me nightmares.

Comrade Biff

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CollegeProf wrote:Comrade Students, Here is Godzilla in all his (her?) glory. ... does invite ...
Comrade Prof - you on the spot inspired my otherwise dull skull. Thinking of that Gender Conundrum as related to Godzilla, it makes my mind nearly explode! Which of the (currently) identified ca. 4000 genders (Mr. Zuckerberg with his skimpy 60 genders is far behind the curve) did/does Godzilla belong to or have or whatever ?

It boggles my mind, thinking of all the new perspectives opened by your remark - slyly smuggled in as an apparent micro-sidekick.

Godzilla, nay, Phantasy Creatures Gender Studies, with all the accompanying mumbo-jumbo ― a plethora already (though incompletely) listed here.

wow! Real Progress, coming!

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Pamalinsky wrote:
Biff Henderson wrote:
Captain Craptek wrote:
Prog Off.png
Good try, comrades - but it's Night of the Demon (or Curse of the Demon in USSA) 1957 British horror movie. I saw it in the local movie theater as a high schooler. Great movie.
It does't hold a candle to this English monstrosity.

Ha! Comrade Biff. This reminds me of a place where I worked in Las Vegas. They were trying to decorate the place which was rather large and new, and decided to include artificial trees along the hallways. Some of us with senses of humor referred to them as Triffids! And, if you knew who was in charge of all of this decorating you would absolutely agree! It was a dreadful place to work. Nasty megalomaniacal control freaks and zombies galore! The leaders of this company finally wound up in jail, which they deserved.

Pamalinsky, as a Citizen Party Enforcer I assign to you 15 hours of Community Service in the form of mile-deep mining for your working in the church of capitalism called a Casino.

[OFF]

Casino!? Yeesh, I couldn't set foot in one let alone work in one. I'm disgusted at the slightest sight of a casino. Even from the outside they glow with disparity and sleaziness. The games seem as fun as watching paint dry, especially the slot machines, which have umpteen-million different variations and brandings with Star Wars and Wizard of Oz and other such franchises plastered on the front but are the same random number generator game on the inside. And you must admit that casinos, especially the Las Vegas ones, make car salesmen seem like saints in comparison. I better quit before I start overflowing with profanities.

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Comrade Stierlitz + Pamalinsky wrote:... the slot machines ...
(...inner Kraut...) _Ja, and dsey are unikvol, dse machins, veri unikvol. Vhen i vas in Vegas, dsey billim-billim-billim vrom dse slots, money-money-money, but veri veri unikvol dsey billim. Sou, dsis billim-billim unikvoliti, dset sure as hölle vas all ready like GULAG vor dse poor delicate Comrade Pamalinsky. Ja?

Sou, Comrade Stierlitz : vot habout only 5 hours Communist Servicing and only coupl-inch-deep mining ? or besser yet, makink Pamalinsky a cute secretary in minink Apparatchik Office ?

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Comrade Stierlitz + Pamalinsky wrote:... the slot machines ...
(...inner Kraut...) _Ja, and dsey are unikvol, dse machins, veri unikvol. Vhen i vas in Vegas, dsey billim-billim-billim vrom dse slots, money-money-money, but veri veri unikvol dsey billim. Sou, dsis billim-billim unikvoliti, dset sure as hölle vas all ready like GULAG vor dse poor delicate Comrade Pamalinsky. Ja?

Sou, Comrade Stierlitz : vot habout only 5 hours Communist Servicing and only coupl-inch-deep mining ? or besser yet, makink Pamalinsky a cute secretary in minink Apparatchik Office ?

She'll be transferred as soon as possible to your office. I'll have a team break into her apartment and replace her wardrobe from linen fieldworker outfits and surplus combat boots to short skirts, tight-fitting dresses, and high heels.

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Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Comrade Stierlitz + Pamalinsky wrote:... the slot machines ...
(...inner Kraut...) _Ja, and dsey are unikvol, dse machins, veri unikvol. _. . . dset sure as hölle vas all ready like GULAG vor dse poor delicate Comrade Pamalinsky. Ja?

Sou, Comrade Stierlitz : vot habout only 5 hours Communist Servicing and only coupl-inch-deep mining ? or besser yet, makink Pamalinsky a cute secretary in minink Apparatchik Office ?
She'll be transferred as soon as possible to your office. I'll have a team break into her apartment and replace her wardrobe from linen fieldworker outfits and surplus combat boots to short skirts, tight-fitting dresses, and high heels.

... dsis iz vonderful news! indeed, as Comrade Minitrue uses to say : Glorious news, comrades! — dsat iz, vor Comrade Pamalinsky, ant vor Comrade Minink Apparatchik.

But remembah, dse high heels must be Biff-Henderson-model, ant off course, dse shovel - Kube Edyshn - must be attatched to Comrade Pamalinsky !______________________________________________or else ! Image


P.S. ant pyerhaps vee should consult Comrade Pamalinsky habout dse choys of day-vyaaar / evening vyaaar / swimm-vyaaar ?

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If anyone is interested, I know a comrade in Minsk...

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Biff Henderson wrote:If anyone is interested, I know a comrade in Minsk...
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Comrade Biff,

I'm curious - Why would someone have a pair of high heel bowling shoes?

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Biff Henderson wrote:
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If anyone is interested, I know a comrade in Minsk...

Does he have a comrade in Pinsk?


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Captain Craptek wrote:
Biff Henderson wrote:If anyone is interested, I know a comrade in Minsk...
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Comrade Biff,

I'm curious - Why would someone have a pair of high heel bowling shoes?
If you put your mind the the gutter the view will clarify the matter.


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Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
The Peoples Cube.2016.05.31.(Tom Lehrer.Lobachevsky.1953).Vote Remain or Cthulhu Will Devour Your Soul.jpg
[OFF]

This guy is a genius. Maybe not in (aside smiley) topology. But certainly in humor.

Combining Math (and generally, science - real science) with deadpan wit, racy accompaniment (typico in spoofing mode), incredible timing, and all that while, uh, Linguo-Appropriatively exploiting Russlish & Yiddish & Tech-Sciency gobbledygook - that's genius.

an (obvious) "Zayonist" + an (obvious) top-comic performer = yet another proof of (my private opinion) : Yehudim are Weltmeysters in Humor.




P.S. ... and while already kiddin' in OFF :

waz-guxDU.Common-Core-Math.(w=450).jpg

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Ivan Betinov wrote:Are you proposing a gutter ball?

Ivan, you know only high-ranking party officials are allowed to hit the pins. Us proles have to get gutterballs all the time or we get shot! Except we're allowed one pin hit on our birthday every year, but the paperwork has to be filed 5 years in advance. And we have to be escorted in handcuffs to the lanes by no less than 10 KGB officers in full riot gear.

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OK, you guys, THAT'S IT! You all are certifiable. And that's undeniable!
(What a great riff amongst you all! That was quite entertaining! Made my day!)

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Speaking of Godzilla, this monster alligator that strolled across a Florida golf course last week directly onto the Drudge Report and then Snopes, didn't say a word about Brexit.

However, according to some MSM reports he may have been looking for Donald Trump and Rush Limbaugh, among other Florida golfers.

The fun part is that this golf course is about eight miles away from where I live in Florida, as the drone flies. I've seen smaller gators in my area, including a baby gator sitting under our car in the driveway (discovered by Mrs. Red Square as she was leaving for work one morning), but nothing as big.

This one must be the alligator version of Donald Trump.


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And they already made it into a movie. How predictable of Hollywood.


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So that's why they closed the golf course at Jurrasic Park

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Back to Cthulhu.
My favorite HP Lovecraft quote also serves as an uncanny metaphor for life in the recent United States:

"There was a bursting as of an exploding bladder. A stench of a thousand open graves. A sound the chronicler would not put on paper. Then there was only a venomous seething . . . "

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ratskins wrote:Back to Cthulhu.
My favorite HP Lovecraft quote also serves as an uncanny metaphor for life in the recent United States:

[highlight=#ffff00]"There was a bursting as of an exploding bladder. A stench of a thousand open graves. A sound the chronicler would not put on paper. Then there was only a venomous seething . . . "[/highlight]

Prog both On and Off:

Good one, ratskins! I don't even have to read HP Lovecraft to know that this quote is true.
Thanks for the quote.

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A new breed of monster is captured moments before it swallowed up an unsuspecting child.

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Comrade Biffinaditch wrote:A new breed of monster ...
... whew, here lil' me thought it's over, the nightmares . . . _and there, Comrade Biffsky restarts !

Little_Nemo.13.awake + monster.cleaned.JPG

( fabulous Winsor McCay and his mesmerizingly explosive
Little Nemo comic strips of A.D. 1905-1914 )

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Nigel Farage Rocks!

British politician and the leader of the UK Independence Party (UKIP) Nigel Farage has slammed EU bosses over European crisis. "It's even more serious than economics because if you rob people of their identity, if you rob them of their democracy, then all they are left with is nationalism and violence. I can only hope and pray that the Euro project is destroyed by the markets before that" - Farage said at the end of his speech.


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Pamalinsky wrote:... Farage Rocks!
[OFF]

yep — Mr. F is routinely a top-class sensor for all things wrong with EU (which goes down the tubes ever since the late 90s).

(for which our Party here condemns that revisionist imperialistic enemy of EUSSR, in strongest ice pick terms.)

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Nigel Farage is truly an enemy of the people! Thank you comrade Pam for showing us this footage. How dare he question the colonisation of Europe by Merkel-approved migrants...

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Minitrue wrote:Nigel Farage is truly an enemy of the people! Thank you comrade Pam for showing us this footage. How dare he question the colonisation of Europe by Merkel-approved migrants...

You are quite welcome, most esteemed Comrade Minitrue. Always at your service.


 
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