Comrades,

It is rare that a news story touches my heart but I must share this with you all (sniff, sniff):

SEATTLE (AP) -- Decades ago, poor children became known as "disadvantaged" to soften the stigma of poverty. Then they were "at-risk." Now, a Washington lawmaker wants to replace those euphemisms with a new one, "at hope."

Democratic State Sen. Rosa Franklin says negative labels are hurting kids' chances for success and she's not a bit concerned that people will be confused by her proposed rewrite of the 54 places in state law where words like "at risk" and "disadvantaged" are used.

The bill has gotten a warm welcome among fellow lawmakers, state officials and advocacy groups.

https://www.riehlworldview.com/carnivor ... -here.html

I must confess to you, the era of Hope and Change has not turned out quite as I expected. Now, I think I know why; too much negativity! Comrades, we must stop focusing on what we DON'T have and start focusing on what we DO. We must stop looking at the borscht jar as "half empty" and start seeing it for what it really is: empty and broken half FULL!

All of you, please make a vow to eliminate negative phrases from capitalism from your daily speech and replace them with more progressive alternatives. I'll give you some examples:

OLD CAPITALIST PHRASE -----> NEW PROGRESSIVE PHRASE

sick -----> with disease
evicted -----> exploring new residence paradigms
bankrupt -----> cash-free existence
homeless -----> domicile-independent
terrorist attack -----> cry for help
jihadist -----> alternative religious practice utilizing explosives
blew up -----> created a rubble substitute
unemployed -----> with unpaid leave
vaporized -----> returned to component elements
killed -----> freed to become feed for other creatures
destroyed -----> reclaim for new use
loss -----> financial learning opportunities

Let us see how this idea works in practice:

A Detroit-bound airliner was returned to its component elements today when an alternative religious practitioner utilizing explosives created a rubble substitute. Three hundred passengers were freed to become feed for other creatures. In addition, numerous people on the ground, many with disease, became domicile-independent when the rubble substitute reclaimed their homes for new use.

The airline, reeling from repeated financial learning opportunities, was expected to declare cash-free existence today. A thousand employees are expected to be with unpaid leave and many will likely explore new residence paradigms.

It was the biggest cry for help in over a year.

See, isn't that a lot nicer? I feel a lot better about all we have achieved, don't you?

Inspiring comrade. We talked our way into this mess and by golly, we can talk our way out of it. Likewise, we spent our way into recession and we can spend our way to prosperity.

It's not delusional to say that we can redefine our way out of this malaise and into a brighter more enthusiastic attitude. Where the brain goes, so must the body follow.

And now comrades, I must start drinking vodka so I can send my brain to bed.

(actually I don't drink much, just often)

Comrade Opiate,

Euphemisms are as important to the revolution as bullets, and your paragraph above is an excellent example of this.

The other day, I spoke to an evicted domicile-independent exploring new residence paradigm person boarding a Collective Greenergy vehicle (bus), sporting a Hope and Change hat, and he told me that even though he is living a cash-free-existence that he is still supporting Dear Leader, because, like the rest of us, he is of the opinion that everything is still the Bushitler's fault.

Hmmmm how about these

OLD CAPITALIST PHRASE NEW PROGRESSIVE PHRASE
recession Negative Growth
global warming Climate Change
Muslim Person of Middle Eastern Descent


O wait, those are already in use!

Glorious... with the sufferings of the proletariat all around us, it's always best to keep our priorities straight: whatever bad may happen in life, WE should always feel good about ourselves while talking about it.

Yes Comrades, the Glorious People's Republik of Washington is infused with so much Hope'N'Change(TM) that it's coming out of our collective arses. At the same time our Collectively Chosen Government Change Creators (sounds so much better than elected official, does it not?) are working to ensure that only the proper words are used, they are also considering banning "assault weapons" (another delightful phrase that pretty much refers to any gun) all the while facing a several billion dollar financial learning experience in the State Budget.

The Negative growth here demonstrates the fact that the Progressives are on the proper track, and can devote time to ensuring proper PC language in all laws.

{off}
This is so Atlas Shrugged-esque

I will admit (with great fear and trembling) that the "change" is not what I was hoping for either. (ssssssh, mumskies the word!), but this is the hopelessness that comes with some changes.

I shall add a wordski! - "change" - "oops"

All hell with . . . . All hail Obamski!

Old: supporting oneself
New: underserviced

{off}The Junior Leaguers in Midland are really doing this, feeling kids on the weekend, as on school days, as though the had no parents. Or Lone Star cards.

I have one
Old: fuckwit
New: progressive

Comrades, it is not enough to find different words for old concepts and simply obfuscate the meaning of the original. We must replace negative words with positive ones and thereby completely mislead everyone about what we are talking about! This is a quantum leap forward (a perfect example! In the the past, we would have said "this is like jumping off a cliff".)

Think about the progression: what people said over the years upon seeing a shoeless child on the street
1. There goes a poor child.
2. That child is disadvantaged.
3. That child is at risk.
4. That child is at hope.

Once, if the Party created a program to help poor children and most of the money went to our friends and supporters (and ourselves) as it usually does, within a few years critics would look at the results and say "That program is not working, the children are still poor." Then we would have to fight like the devil to get an increase in funds. Our usual tactic was to say, "Of course they're still poor, the program is under-funded." This would often work but sometimes the best we could do was keep it from being cut.

Now, if the Party creates a program to help children who are At Hope^TM which doesn't work, what can the critics say? Those children are hopeless? OF COURSE NOT, what monster could say that in public and get away with it? Not only does this guarantee the program will not be cut but almost absolutely guarantees an increase in funding! After all, if the children are At Hope^TM with 10 billion dollars, how much more hope will they have with 20?

This glorious tactic will work with everything we want to do. Remember, any action to fix a negative condition MUST show a result or be assumed to be a failure (unless we can argue them out of it.) But any action to promote a positive condition is its own justification!

So comrades, the lesson is clear; the way to bigger and better government is to THINK POSITIVE!

I think I've got it, Opiate. Yes, any program for a positive result is its own justification.

And since we believe in the Current Truth(tm) we get to define what a positive result is.

I declare that promoting reducing stress is a positive condition. Last night I was listening to the Mike Mallow show on America Left and a man came on complaining that his local radio station was owned by a right-winger who aired that gasbag Rush. This caused him distress. They calculated on how to get the station owner not to do what he wanted to do with his own station when it was making him money.

Obviously the Limbaugh idiot must be silenced because Limbaugh was causing this Prog stress, and eliminating stress is a positive thing.

Just as dear uncle Joseph Stalin decreed that it was stressful for Ukrainians to keep their own crops and animals and so he took them. That eliminated stress in Stalin, which is a positive thing.

And therefore is just a-okay.