This is a very beautiful song, to be sung by a Polish-American tenor and a multicultural chorus of undocumented workers. For effect, they may be wearing hazmat suits. The chorus lines are in blood red; the tenor's, in plague black.



**************************************
She had Eeeeeeeeeee-BO-la
(BO-la)
Well at least that's what she told me
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
While taking seat 23C
Next to me

Ordered rum and cola
(Cola)
And asked me if I'd like a sip,
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
After it passed her swelling lips
“No I'm good.”

Good, until I saw her eyes (Ahhhhhhhhhh….)
Bleeding like slaughtered lambs
Smells that I'd never known before
And when she retched, I thought I'd catch
That EeeeeBOlah,
(Bola)
She told me I would be okay,
The CDC had told her “Fly,
You might meet a nice guy….”
And I still see that Eeebola in her eye.

[Musical interlude, accompanied by what can only be called rude body sounds]

And then Iiiiiii saw her
(Saw her)
Exploding all over the flight
(Whoa, whoa)
Shooting out organs left and right
There goes her spleen……

And I still can sense Eebola…

[speaking] Wait! It's on ME!
(Bola)
Geez, how am I ever gonna…Huh? Where are you taking me?
(Whoa whoa, whoa, whoa……)
[Chorus runs away]


[tenor continues] Get your hands off me! Quarantine??? Why didn't you put HER in quarantine??? Hey, I'm gonna miss my connection! I'll never get to Monrovia at this rate!!!”

Comradess Kelly Ivanovna -- Oh my gosh! I LOVE this! It is so perfect and so is the music!!!

Oh, what a flight.
Frontier Airlines from Dallas city.
Ebola patient sitting next to me,
'Oh I remember what a flight.

Oh, what a flight.
You know, we have the CDC to blame,
Told her she could fly upon the plane.
What a mess. Oh what a flight.

Oh, I. I got a sickly feeling when she coughed
In the room and I,
As I recall it could not end too soon.

Oh, what a flight,
Hospitalizing, quarantining me.
She had every symptom I could see.
Meet, ebola, what a flight!

I got a rash like a rolling bolt of thunder
Poundin' my head around and taking my body under.
Oh, what a flight!

Oh, I. I got a sickly feeling when she coughed
In the room and I,
As I recall it could not end too soon.

Oh, what a flight.
Why doesn't Barry want to ground all flights?
Lead from behind, Obama's never right.
He is crazy, what a flight!

I felt a rash like a rolling bolt of thunder
Poundin' my head around and taking my body under.
Oh, what a flight!
(Do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do, do.)
Oh, what a flight!
(Do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do, do.)
Oh, what a flight!
(Do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do, do.)
Oh, what a flight!
(Do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do, do.)
Oh, what a flight!
(Do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do, do.)
Oh, what a flight!
(Do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do, do.)

If I may quote my Mullah Dyets, Tovareschina Kellya -- "Bravo!!"

For those not conversant in the mother tongue, there's a pun in there somewhere

Comrades.... Wonderful works all...

Please forgive me absence these few days...

Seems I've been in isolation because the guards were afraid of the results I had because of the spoiled beets...

So open up our borders tight
Give OK for Guinea flight
You know that if we are to stay alive
Must stop this PC shuck and jive

(Do do do do; Do do do do ..... Do do do do do do dooo)

There were two cases
One was six days one was three
On Air Guinea 44
Every uncoverd sneeze, all the sputum slingin
Cause he thought that the Progs would welcome him
Oh, will they stop this 'fore it starts a panic

I don't want The States to be rife with Ebola
I need to know right now what will it be
I don't want The States to be rife with Ebola
Will they do their job or will it be
PC?

(Do do do do; do do do do ......)

He showed up in sweat, at the Dallas ER
With contagion on his skin
And the bug he had, did survive him still
It's so hard to keep it all under wraps
Oh, the days go by and we can't get clear answers

I don't want to wait 'fore my wife gets Ebola
I need to know right now, oh CDC
Please don't understate, be forthright 'bout Ebola
Will it be controlled or will we be
Sorry

(Do doo do doo ...)

You're looking at me across the tube
You're doing dissembling again
Believe me I know this tactic
You're sucking me into state of confusion
So stick a little more to the point, you scum
We're all at a danger moment
And I don't want to hear about what Obama
And Obama and Obama said
I want to hear truth now

So open up Ebola flights
Have no care for what is right
You know that if we are to stay alive
Must quash this PC shuck and jive

I don't want the fate of a life with Ebola
I need to know right now, oh CDC
I don't want the weight from a fight with Ebola
Now will you do your job, will you be
Sorry

Will you hesitate to do right about Ebola
You seem to be all ate up with PC
I just can't relate, 'bout these flights with Ebola
Will it be U.S. or will it be
PC

(Do doo do do; do doo do do ...)

So put a ban on Ebola flights
This one time just do what's right
You know that if we are to stay alive
Must drive the Progg tards from our sight

Heavin' loads, out on the floor
Can't keep down no more
Ridin' along in this Ebola plane
I've been thinkin' I'm almost gone
But my life light does now fade away
And I feel like I'm almost done
Someone's gets me in USA
You know I'm goin' be spreadin' more

Oh, oh Ebola airliner
Will carry us this malady
Oh, oh Ebola airliner
And it's here and it's goin' to stay

Goodbye to all my friends at home
Goodbye to those dead and dusted
I've got to go now to USA
You might get sick because it's me you trusted
But my stomach flips over backwards
As I get on the 707
Fever's high I got fear in my eyes
I know you're going through hell
Before you'll get to heaven

Oh, oh Ebola airliner
Will carry us this malady
Oh, oh Ebola airliner
And it's here and it's goin' to stay

Touchin' down in Washington town
Fever ain't comin' down
I've got to keep on spreadin' on
You know this fever keeps on spreadin' around
And I got here via aviation
I know that you can surely see
That you don't want to step in any of my
Vomiting I've done down in the city

Ebola airliner
Will carry us this malady
Oh, oh Ebola airliner
And it's here and it's goin' to stay

Oh, oh Ebola airliner
Will carry us this malady
Oh, oh Ebola airliner
And it's here and it's goin' to stay

Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah

Oh, oh Ebola airliner
Will carry us this malady
Oh, oh Ebola airliner
And it's here and it's goin' to stay

Oh, oh Ebola airliner
Carry me till I'm done
Oh, oh Ebola airliner
Where could we 'er go wrong?

Well Comrades, between Bobby Vinton, Frankie Valli, Steve Miller, Paula Cole and The Chipmunks -- I'd say we have all of the pop music bases covered!!

Thanks everyone for the feedback on the VInton inspired one. These all gave me a chuckle