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Fascism is Communism-lite
By mi
6/5/2009, 12:09 am


Comrades! This cat was troubled for a while by the question of why do we, the Progressives, despise Fascism, even though it is so similar to Communism. True, many of the rank-and-file members of our glorious community are too busy raising awareness to educate themselves on the details of what they are denouncing. But the community organizers ought to know — and yet, Fascism is recognized as an evil regime. This seemed unfair until suddenly I understood...

Fascism is evil — a "cheap imitation" — because it does not go far enough. Indeed, although not a free marKKKet, it still leaves much industry and commerce in the private hands (even if those are the hands of government cronies). This makes it nicely inefficient economically (and thus producing less light- and noise-pollution), but nowhere near as great as Communism.

It also leaves standing too much of these so called "human rights". While Hitler is famous for genocide, the mass murder is not inherent in Fascism. Consider Germany's Fascist allies during WW2: none of Italy, Spain, or Romania were genocidal... Losers... Indeed, Franco's Spain was the safest place in Europe for Jews during the war, and those of them (and of Gypsies), who happened to be on Romania-occupied (southern) parts of the USSR largely survived the war.

On contrast, there is no Communism state in history, where mass murder (genocide and/or other kind) has not taken place -- USSR (for course!), China, North Korea, Cuba, Cambodia...

Of course, a regime that tries to reach for the ideal and fails is even worse, than something like Capitalism, which can be mended into Communism by the simple vote (and some vote-manipulations). Fascism being "Communism-lite", it deserves nothing but scorn from the true Progressive Statists (ProstatistsTM). We shall spit and defecate on its rotting corpse as we march happily by towards the true ideal — the Communism! There is not much left to march for...

Hail Che!

 
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By Red Square
6/5/2009, 12:28 am


From the People's Glossary:

Hitler  

Hitler is an important ideological weapon helping us win just about any argument with right-wingers. As such he must be viewed as pure evil at all times. This, of course, creates a philosophical paradox: it is common knowledge that morality is relative and there is no such thing as absolute good and evil. The answer is that Hitler is a necessary exception. If he didn't exist he'd have to be invented. What makes him so evil? It doesn't matter. He's evil, period. You needn't know unless you are an advanced student of the progressive theory. If you are, then you must know that Hitler was also building socialism, only it was for Arians only (National Socialism), in which minorities would slave for the White man. We the progressives want quite the opposite. Hitler's idea of uncompensated labor for The Greater Good™ (labor camps) was very different from our idea of uncompensated labor for The Greater Good™ (labor camps). That's where it gets tricky and any further discussions should only be allowed to Party-approved professors of progressive science.


See more on Hitler here.
 
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By mi
6/5/2009, 12:37 am


Yes, Red Square, I'm well familiar with this concept of "necessary exception" (I did study the site's dictionary before), but I'm not fully accepting it — perhaps due to this bourgeois concept of "Occam's Razor"... Of all contemporary Fascists, Hitler tried the hardest, but he did not reach the ideal of Communism, and this is something, where the closer you get to the ideal (without reaching it) the more evil you are for trying...

 
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By Opiate of the People
6/5/2009, 12:51 pm




Glenn Beck interviewed Dr. Thomas Sowell May 27 about disenfranchisement, and asked him whether the U.S. was still a capitalist nation. Here's Sowell's answer:

BECK: So let me start with that question — are we are still a capitalist country?
SOWELL: Oh, heavens. Partially.

We’re not a socialist country, because the socialists believe in government ownership in the means of production, but the fascists believe that the government should have private ownership and the politicians should tell people how to run the businesses. So that’s the route we seem to be going.

BECK: So what route is that again?

SOWELL: The private people still own the businesses but the politicians tell them what to do.

BECK: Right, but isn’t that — I’m trying to remember, that’s —

SOWELL: That’s fascism.

BECK: Yes, I was going to say, I knew it was a bad one. And I was going to say, I think that’s fascism. Yeah. OK. Well you’re a crazy lunatic. Why would you say we’re going down a fascist road?

SOWELL: Only because we are.
 
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By Commissar_Elliott
6/5/2009, 4:05 pm


If this is true, which it is, then fascism is not extreme right-wing politics.
 
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By mi
6/5/2009, 4:09 pm


Commissar_Elliott wrote
If this is true, which it is, then fascism is not extreme right-wing politics.


Well, this much has been known to all, but the busiest (with awareness-raising) prostatists...
 
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By Running-Dog Capitalist
6/5/2009, 5:00 pm


{karakter off}

It has been the Big Lie of the American Left, claiming Nazism was "right-wing."  Adolf Hitler let Communists (except Jewish Communists) into the Nazi party --before the break with Joe Stalin.  Stalin and Hitler had a non-agression pact and Stalin was taken by surprise when the Germans invaded the USSR in 1941.

"Right-wingers" tend to be classic liberals:  valuing individual liberty and suspicious of powerful government.  A "Right-Wing Extremist" would actually be an anarchist, not a Nazi.
 
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By Lenin Grad
6/5/2009, 5:36 pm


Yes comrades, I will never forget Hitler's lie and will never side with a fascist again!
 
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By Red Square
6/6/2009, 12:13 am


Excuse me while I prepare for the celebration of the 70th anniversary of the 1939 Soviet-Nazi peace treaty.
 
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By Red Rooster
6/6/2009, 1:34 am


The 2009 Soviet-Obama Peace Treaty?  Comrade Red Square have you lost your mind!Comrades you have all been in the vodka trunk again!  Nothing in my hand, PRESTO:


 
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By Genosse Pieck
6/6/2009, 10:12 pm


Red Square wrote
Excuse me while I prepare for the celebration of the 70th anniversary of the 1939 Soviet-Nazi peace treaty.


Prog off...

When I went to Ordzhonikidse/Vladikavkaz in the summer of 1987 (?), we tagged along with a group of West German tourists on a guided tour of the area. Up until then, I had no idea Nazi Germany had made it that far - hey I was only 14... (this was the furthest of their advance towards the southeast, the goal being the Baku oil fields.) In true Soviet fashion, however, the (government) tour guide took us to all the battlefields to let us know how many Germans were killed at each one of them. After the 3rd one, my dad and his colleague got really mad and left the group. We were there on engineers' visas, so we had a bit more freedom to travel than the tourists.

One of my uncles fought on the eastern front, was captured, and spent a couple of years in Siberia. He never talked about it. All I knew is that his faith sustained him, and he harbored no ill feelings against his captors after the war. My grandfather fought on the western front against the rest of the Allies.

It was cool to have him meet some of the Russian gentlemen who came to visit my dad (on business for the same project for which my dad went to Russia several times.) Again, there were no hard feelings, even though his wife, my grandma had to flee Breslau/Wroclaw from the advancing Soviet troops. It was all water under the bridge.

I know it sounds really corny and Soviet, but russkaya-nemetskaya druzhba (or so, my Russian has become a bit rusty) does have a nice ring to it... especially after the history we share.

Mir.

Really.

Prog on

But only as long as Poland does not attack us again! Wait, we need to liberate the occupied territories of Silesia, Pomerania and East Prussia!

Comrade Obama! Please ask your Dear Friend Premier Ahmadinejad, if he can spare some freedom fighters in our jihad against the Polish oppressors.
 
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By Red Square
6/9/2009, 4:50 pm


I accidentally stumbled upon a blog that details Hilter's leftist roots. Lots of curious info.

They even have a rare picture of a Red Army Swastika shoulder patch.



However, I must point out an error in its description on the blog. Red Army was formed Feb. 23, 1918. The date on the picture is smudged, but it's probably 1918. The text in Russian details the description of the patch and who it is designed for: Red Army soldiers and commanding officers of the Kalmyk troops. Kalmyks are a small pastoral ethnic group in southern Russia, with their own autonomous region west of the Caspian Sea. They are of Mongolian origin and they are Buddhists. Hence, I believe is the swastika, which is a common Buddhist symbol. In the text, the swastika is called "LYUNGTN" or some such native Kalmyk word in Cyrillic (the text is blurry and those may be characters specific to the Kalmyk language).

I don't know how long these patches were in use, but I've never heard of them until today. Most likely they were destroyed and the memory of them erased once the Nazis attacked the USSR. But I can imagine the bewilderment of the Kalmyks in the Soviet Army during WWII, as they were fighting against a European power bearing their own national symbol, and seeing all kinds of disparaging caricatures of it in official propaganda materials.

As a footnote, the relatively small Caucasus region contains a wild mix of nations and ethnic groups that would be more than enough to fill an entire continent. There are three distinct language families: Indo-European, Caucasian, and Altaic, each of them represented by dozens of smaller language and ethnic groups, all living on different stages of human civilization, from primitive communal formations of early Iron Age to the modern industrial age. Separated by tall mountain ranges, they've always been at war with each other and they don't want to stop (e.g., Chechnya). Dagger is part of everyone's national costume. It's real Middle Earth there - just as fascinating and just as dangerous.

BTW, Lenin was one-quarter Russian, one-quarter Kalmyk, one-quarter German, and one-quarter Jewish. A wild mix, but the Asian features were there. The "one-quarter Jewish" part was one of the most carefully guarded state secrets in the USSR up until the 1990s, when it was leaked into the press. The reasons were probably similar to those why Hitler was mum on his own Jewish ancestry. I wonder if that secret had also been guarded as religiously. Anyone? Granted, the hypocrisy on the both sides was almost farcical.

On a different note, this picture is also fascinating and more to the point of Hitler's socialist roots. Perhaps our German Kameraden on the Cube can provide an exact translation into English.


 
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By Genosse Pieck
6/9/2009, 5:21 pm


The election campaign poster is interesting.

"We the Workers have awoken!" Wir Arbeiter sind erwacht.

I can't read what the guy on the left has in his left hand. The right hand clutches a dagger... The guy in the middle is a jew (diminutive stature, "hook" nose, suit) whispering into the socialists ear - after all, socialists and jews have always collaborated. The list in the socialists hand is addressed to the "Hitler Barons" Again, I can't make out the first line.

Hetze und Verleumdungen = agitation and defamation

Die Bonzen im Speck, das Volk im Dreck =

The  bigwigs in the bacon, the People in the dirt.

Bigwigs are of course the rich capitalists and bankers. The reference to bacon is based on the German proverb "wie die Made im Speck" - like a maggot in the bacon, i.e. it's doing really well. They don't have to suffer, while The People lives in dire proverty.

Paragraph 48 of the German constitution of 1919 gives the President virtually totalitarian powers if the Reich (which, until 1933 was a Republic, even though it had the "Reich" title) is threatened, from within or without, including using the armed forces if necessary and suspending all civil rights. (This is virtually based on the role of the Kaiser.)

Hitler used the burning of the Reichstag building to invoke this article.

The bottom reads (the first part in the - I think - beautiful Suetterlin-Cursive)

wir waehlen (we vote)

Nationalsozialisten (national socialists)

Liste 2 (second choice on the ballot)

For which election was this poster? The Nazis didn't have the top spot yet?
 
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By Red Square
6/10/2009, 12:59 am


Thanks! That is fascinating.
 
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By Genosse Pieck
6/10/2009, 9:32 am


Well, they WERE the National Socialist German Workers' Party... You can see a lot of the socialism part shining through in their propaganda. The cause for misery of course being the jews and the real socialists and bolsheviks.

It must be noted, that the SPD (Social Democrat Party of Germany)'s roots are a lot more radical than what they are today (even if they generally still a bunch of whackjobs.) They were founded during the Second Reich (1871-1918), and one of their goals was to overthrow the monarchy, not exactly the "in" position to hold.

BTW, the Second Reich (the First one being the Holy Roman Empire) was only a monarchy in some respects. More properly would be to call it a Federal Monarchy. The Kaiser was if you will President for Life, with virtually the same rights and responsibilities of the Reichspraesident (as in Hindenburg) during the Weimar Republic as well as the Bundespraesident today, except that the declaration of war piece has been a bit more "diversified" today.

Anyway, the member states did have their say in the democratically Reichstag - Parliament (of course not without some fraud involved, it was, after all, the first attempt) and Reichsrat - Council. Also, the member states were not all monarchies, either. The city states of Bremen and Hamburg had a republican form of government. I could honestly say that there may still be a Second Reich today, if Kaiser Frederick III had lived a while longer. He was liberal (in the good sense) and had a servant's heart rather than a monarch's. Also, he would not have kicked Otto von Bismarck out. Of course, we all know what happened in 1914, 1918, 1933, 1939 and 1945... Now back to the topic, the SPD hat a major transformation in the post WWII years, they essentially parted with their radical ways. Today, especially in some rural, protestant regions, the SPD is just as "conservative" as the CDU.
 
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By Red Square
6/10/2009, 10:45 am


As they say, history doesn't recognize the subjunctive mood. But since we're talking about ifs simply for amusement purposes...

If the revolutionary terrorists in Russia (who called their group "The People's Will") hadn't killed Czar Alexander II in 1881 (after three prior assassination attempts), October Revolution may not have happened. Alexander II was a great reformer who abolished serfdom one year before the US abolished slavery. His reforms were progressive (in the original meaning of the word) but there probably is a certain threashhold in history when real progress becomes supplanted by the phony "progressivism" as we see today in the US. The more liberties the Russian citizens received, the more audacious the knucklehead revolutionaries would become, demanding the impossible, bombing and shooting anyone they didn't like.

Speaking of which, I never believed that electing Obama would end racial and other grievance mongering. According to what happened in Russia then, it's only going to get worse. The leftist knuckleheads are already beginning to hate Obama for not being as radical as they are.

Going back to Alexander II, if his democratic and economic reforms were to continue and to take root, Russia may have been much less radical politically a couple of decades later, when communists used Nicholas II's stupidity and weakness to begin spreading like cancer and later metastasizing throughout the rest of the world.
 
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By Genosse Pieck
6/10/2009, 11:27 am


Of course history relies on facts (depending on who you ask), but every so often you do wonder, "what if?"

Progs have to come up with new stuff all the time, as otherwise they won't have any cause for fundraising. You will never hear a prog saying "mission accomplished!" Instead, they will fight for new causes.

Back in the 80's the Greens were all the rage in Germany. The mainstream parties cleaned up the air from admittedly harmful substances emitted from tailpipes by mandating catalytic converters. The air has gotten cleaner, despite more vehicles and more driving. Are they celebrating today? No, instead they came up with another cause. The same goes for scientists. Many get funding from the gubmint. Of course they will tell the gubmint what it wants to hear, in order to get more funding. Just like they have separation of church and state (in that the state must not interfere in church matters), so should there be a separation of science and state. Pres. Eisenhower warned of the military-industrial complex, and for good reason. Is today's equivalent the science-government complex?

Just follow the money.
 
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By Red Square
6/12/2009, 10:59 am


Genosse Pieck wrote

... the German proverb "wie die Made im Speck" - like a maggot in the bacon, i.e. it's doing really well...


This sheds new etymological light on the origins of "Made Progressive."
 
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By Red Square
6/12/2009, 12:14 pm


Is this a medal? Eagle, swastika, and hammer & sickle together... I understand "Tag der Arbeit" as "Day of Labor". Is this something like "Hero of Socialist Labor?"

(And who's the guy with the Afro? Beethoven? LOL).


 
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By Komissar Blogunov
6/13/2009, 11:43 am




Here's another angle on the comparison between fascism and communism.  Richard and Sabina Wurmbrand are not widely known outside of those who follow the persecuted church, but they were Romanian Christians who were ethnically Jewish.  Richard, who spoke several languages and was familiar with a wide range of philosophers and literature, was imprisoned, isolated, and tortured for a total of 14 years for his work in the underground church in Romania.  Sabina was later sentenced for five years to prison and to a labor camp on the Danube River where she worked in near starvation conditions.  The Wurmbrands suffered during both the Nazi occupation of Romania, and the "liberation" of Romania by Soviet forces.  Sabina, who lost much of her family in the Holocaust, said the Nazi occupation was preparation for communist rule.

Her book, The Pastor's Wife, details the story of her and her husband's conversion, Richard's refusal to submit his faith to the communist government, the Soviet occupation and the communist takeover (amidst promises poo-poohing fears of just such a thing), how they hid Nazi soldiers from the Soviets while simultaneously evangelizing Russian soldiers, and the trial of their faith as they went through their different imprisonments.

When finally ransomed to the west, they founded Christ to the Communist World, which later became today's Voice of the Martyrs.  VOM, which is advertised on Rush's website, has a free newsletter with a good bit of information about the persecution of Christians today, especially in communist and Muslim countries.  Just as a heads up, I warn you that reading this material may make you skeptical of Islam's widely reputed religious tolerance and of communism's claim to provide justice for the downtrodden.

 
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By Komissar Blogunov
6/13/2009, 11:48 am


Red Square wrote
Is this a medal? Eagle, swastika, and hammer & sickle together... I understand "Tag der Arbeit" as "Day of Labor". Is this something like "Hero of Socialist Labor?"

(And who's the guy with the Afro? Beethoven? LOL).



Maybe we should observe Labor Day, or Earth Day, or both each year with this image.
 
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By Genosse Pieck
6/13/2009, 1:14 pm


Red Square wrote
Is this a medal? Eagle, swastika, and hammer & sickle together... I understand "Tag der Arbeit" as "Day of Labor". Is this something like "Hero of Socialist Labor?"

(And who's the guy with the Afro? Beethoven? LOL).



Tag der Arbeit is the socialist Labor Day - May 1st. It's still celebrated in Germany (and other western European countries) to this day. No clue who the guy with the 'fro is, but it looks like a very socialist nomenclatura hairstyle, if you ask me... kinda like Brezhnev. But then Konrad Adenauer, the first chancellor of the FRG sported the same hairstyle.

Not sure if this an actual medal or what, but "Gedenkmuenzen" (memorial coins) with no value were always minted in Germany to commemorate something or other. Kinda like the Obama plates, chia-pets (what about a che-pet?), etc...

Blogunov -

thank you for bringing the Wurmbrandts to our attention. I have definitely heard of the VOM, but did not know its origins. My dad in his day did his own thing to spread Christianity in the Soviet Union by smuggling Russian Bibles into the USSR. Don't ask me how they were never uncovered. Miracles, I guess. But he always kept his personal German Bible on top of the suitcase he hid them in, and of course he would be questioned about it. "For personal use" and it being in a foreign language was always enough for the customs commissars. Or maybe they were just temporarily blinded.
 
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By Genosse Pieck
6/13/2009, 1:17 pm


Actually, this is not a medal, Just a pin:

http://www.georgejohnsmilitaria.com/m-312.htm
 
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The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand



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No help from Obama to storm-ravaged Kentucky; officials consider renaming state to New Orleans in effort to get attention
Politico: volcano trouble in Alaska a result of Palin's policies
MoveOn adopts Bush's cowboy diplomacy: 'You're either with Obama or Rush'
Obama urges liberals to start listening to Rush Limbaugh: 'all too often we start by dictating on issues and don't always know all the factors involved. So let's listen.'

More bad economic news: area antiwar group lays off its bumper sticker makers
Dissent no longer patriotic: Obama
Reminder to Hollywood celebrities: must change 'patriotic' setting from 'hate America' to 'love America' on Jan. 20

Obama promises to Photoshop a better future for America

You won't be told lies if you don't ask questions: Obama's new media policy
Personals: senate seats available in NY & Il. Hardly ever used. Cash OK.


Change we can believe in: Clinton 1990s staffers
Somali pirates hijack international space station

Starting with 11/5/08, the cor- rect progressive greeting in America is "Barack Obama!" The reply is "Obama Barack!"
Laika the Space Dog consi- dered for new White House pet: "Thoroughly vetted by Bill Ayers"


CHANGE: President-elect Obama crushes Yankee imperialism in a landslide





Seven Obama cousins found living in voting booth



US choppers attack ACORN voter registration center in Syria
US military: We decided to strike now because this time next year we’ll be a Peace Keeping force

Biden predicts severe test for Obama in first six months: another question from Joe the Plumber
Obama: Let he who is without wealth cash the first check!

Joe Biden: work is a four-letter word


FBI investigates Mickey Mouse Club for voter fraud
Embarrassed ACORN accidentally registers 'Ronald Reagan'

Kids' hymns to Obama a success of Democrat strategy: If you can't abort them, indoctrinate them
World to USA: 'Fix world ecomonic crisis so we can get back to hating you'

Obama's campaign invites opponents to play 'Truth or Jail'
Biden: Hoover text-messaged Americans to calm fears during 1929 crash
Dead support Obama, all are registered to vote by ACORN
Biden calls taxes patriotic
Study: Jesus spoke without a telepromter

Obama promises free lipstic for everybody if elected
KARAOKE: These Are The Jerks We Call Journalists

Obama's negotiations with Gustav prove fruitful; storm spares "French Quarter"
Feminist group: Sarah Palin worst mother since June Cleaver; decried as "too feminine"
Obama: leave Bristol alone, she has been punished enough with a baby
Putin shoots tiger with Polonium-laced dart
Obama: ready from day one to place a call to UN if a US city is nuked
Cult of personality at the People's Cube is up 90% compared to previous Five-Year Plan
Congress established windfall tax on US gold medals
International Olympic Committee to redistribute Phelp's ill-gotten golds to less fortunate athletes

Obama beats Hillary to coveted CPUSA endorsement
February 2050 declared White History Month. Future headlines expected to read "Minorities hardest hit... and deservedly so."
Obama denounces Russia's actions; humbled Russia sends self to Gulag
US trade deficit dropped; NYT instructs readers to turn paper upside down for more favorable view of graph
Sharpton protests disproportionate deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, calls for immediate deaths of David Letterman and Billy Joel to even score
Science to unveil invisible cloak; Conservative White Christian male in NJ says he's been invisible for years
NYT: Russia's invasion of Georgia leaves much smaller carbon footprint than US invasion of Iraq
Larry the Cable Guy issues call to "man the pick up trucks" as Russia invades Georgia
Edwards claims he was having affair with camera, didn't notice woman attached




Chavez's parents cut off Hugo's credit card after Moscow shopping binge
Oil industry to Pelosi: You've been given a brain. Use it or lose it.
Congress to declare July 19th International Swimmers' Day


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How many superdelegates does it take to change a lightbulb?

Photoshopped Iranian missile saves 25% on Islamic Republic's carbon footprint


Word of the day:
HUSSIES n. Female Obama supporters changing their middle names to Hussein
Obama: we have always been at peace with Hillary Clinton
Grand Rapids Mayor George Heartwell vows city will be "vanilla" when rebuilt
Media grows impatient with Iowa's lack of flood-related rapes and pillaging: Why can't they be more like New Orleans?
Lou the Looter In Iowa
CNN investigates Iowans caught blowing FEMA debit cards at Tractor Supply Company
Obama: WTC problem ended on 9/11, Pentagon still a problem
Hillary supporters organize against Obama

Janet Reno congratulates Elian Gonzalez on joining Cuba's Young Communists

Elian Gonzales - my kid is a Communist Party Honor Student
Dick Durbin denies that being Hell's spokesperson and moonlighting as a Democrat Senator presents a conflict of interest
Flooding in Iowa causes typical white people to turn bitter and cling to evacuation procedures
Democrat energy policy: let them eat cake
Monica Lewinsky endorses Obama: 'This is not the Bill Clinton I knew'
NASA unveils 'ass-crack' space suit for plumbing repairs at int'l space station




Dead people at Obama's rally identified as a renegade splinter group of Hillary's 'invisible Americans'
Howard Dean: dead people will vote Democrat no matter who gets the nomination

Mainstream media silent on increased attacks on US troops by mainstream media
Sen. Kennedy under treatment. Mary Jo still dead

Muanmar drafts Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco to help with cyclone clean up
New Orleans Mayor sends school buses to Myanmar
As Darfur violence surges, world vows not to give a crap unless the US gets involved
Chinese citizens crushed by bricks and rubble; tanks have day off

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Friendly fire: BBC office hit by al-Qaeda rocket
Al Gore knows what caused Burma cyclone but won't say it
International community promises to suspend anti- Americanism until after American aid reaches Burma
Mainstream media saddened that Austrian pedophile isn't a Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, or a GOP senator



North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria
Earth Day: save the planet, starve the children!

Focus group: if water boarding was a sexual preference, they'd be teaching it in public schools

Study: Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich

Mixed month for MTV: teen pregnancy drops, however STDs are on the rise
Obama pledges to give every typical small town family a possum sandwich
Delays at American Airlines: a sneak peak into proposed government healthcare

Stop and smell the Sharpies

Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy

Media: this year's Global Bad News Awareness week to overlap with International Good News Obliviousness month
NPR journalists go on truckers-style protest over high price of lattes
Most popular April Fools joke: "A Democrat president won't raise taxes"


Obama denounced extreme statements in Osama's new tape but urged voters to listen to the entire message before making judgment
Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person"
Spitzer denies applying hardball tactics in front of bathroom mirror and threatening to come after himself
New York State House retires Spitzer's #9 jersey
KKK endorses Harvard's gym segregation policy: 'Blacks and Jews are next'
London quake caused by SUV, now impounded by Scotland Yard
Hillary's healthcare plan to include smelling salts for Obama's supporters and mandatory amputation of Chris Matthews' leg
USMail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp
Obama: one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity
Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote
Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do it, so can we!'
Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City' shot at checkpoint
John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement
To avoid scorn and ridicule, Tom Cruise converts to Islam
NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama

NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp
Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General
Brokeback Mountain loses climber
NASA's Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on Mars

Las Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers
Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib
Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak
Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign

Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope

Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on street corners

Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change

Al Gore's children receive carbon credits for Winter Solstice Holiday
Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush
Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win

Pelosi declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course
Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally
High school Meth teacher starts new class

Holy Mitt!
Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000%
Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless- transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick
Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive
"How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway
Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate
Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes
"Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad
New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline.
Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish'
NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others

Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough
Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress
Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news"
US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November
Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit.
LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead
USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller
Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia
MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home

Reid: The war on fire is lost
Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire
Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California
NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires
Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far.
Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore
Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed?

San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault
Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark
End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France
Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!"
Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland"

Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!"

Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics
Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants

CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground"
Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"

Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart
Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming


To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama
Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes.
George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam
Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers
John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care
Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't kill
Democrats select 2008 presidential slogan:
"Death to America"

Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense
"Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues
Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's death
New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face

Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison

Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry
China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists
Al Gore to recall the Internet


Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month
First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle
Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead

William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package

Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis
Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program
Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos


Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability

London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings
Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"

Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos"
Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship

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Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric
Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it?
US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in Iraq
US Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for?
Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"
MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!

Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page
As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem"

Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant

Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory
Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain"
Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey
Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists"
French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results
Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture

Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely

Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time

Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids
ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists'
Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops
Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling
Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision
Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves
Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases

Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro-
mote Global Warming Jelly

New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system

Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket
Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!"
Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up
Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards
Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries
Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again?
Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues
Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial

House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED
Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission

North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright
Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission

Is it time for Pinochet yet?

see CITGO think HUGO CHAVEZ

Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History

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