Guilt Quiz & Guilt Level Chart: Tools for the Guilted Age

395..pretty good,right?
 

The thing I'm most guilty about is that my guilt score didn't beat my credit score...
 

395


There were a few questions where no answer would fit. I raise chickens and vegetables on a secure and undisclosed 5 acres in the Pacific NW.
 

Welcome to The Glorious Cube Comrade General Dissarray have you meet General Confusion? Any Relation?
 

Thank you Comrade Rooster. I have not yet had, umm, pleasure of meeting most equal Comrade General; aside from our dedication to the kollektive and progress, I believe we have no relation.
 

Is glorious website! Is good to see that pipples is Polemically Correct here! Tovarish!
 

Is 565. Is needing only 101 more points to be perfect capitalist pig. Is not good, yes? But wait! 666 is good number to Glorious Leader, yes?
(PSA: No pig was killed or injured during the typing of this post.)
Is now chance of getting 10 point deduction from PETA maybe...
 

Welcome Comrade Uze Fulidjits... ahh yes.. you make good provider for working poor™ comrades.. please begin shoveling at once!
 

I do not have a guilt score, I confess i am guilty of not being guilty. It is the best I can do.
(Are we allowed to cheat like good progressive?)
 

Privileged red trash...
 

спасибо
Spaseeba.

Now I go to Garden and shovel?
 

I managed to score a 460 on the test and I am truly guilty as hell about that. So much so that I ran out and had that number tattooed on my forehead by my neighbor, using an icepick and the contents from a discarded BIC pen I found in the street. I richly deserve the lifetime of derision and ridicule that goes along with being the guilty, guilty, guilty white male you now see in this photo.


 

You have Sister? I hope not.
 

650, when do I get my train ticket to the state run summer camp?
 

I think you may have set a sub standard....
 

Guardian of Pravda

You have Sister? I hope not.

Sad to report, yes...I do have sister. However, she is far less guilty than I, weighs only 135kg (when not carrying RPG-7) and is SINGLE! Want her Obamaphone number, Tovarisch?


 

I scored 580 - how can I score more?
 

-201--400.
idealistic progressive
Entitled to government grants and promotion within the administrative hierarchy due to your undeniable guilt. Recommended for media appearances and awards to help spread guilt among the masses. As a trusted member of the community you will be placed on only intermittent surveillance. We will count on you to provide us with useful information on your guiltless neighbors, co-workers, friends, and family.
 

580

I'm so ashamed of myself.
 

510! Do I win a samovar, Comrades?
 

I only scored 565. I think i'm going to go create some jobs just to make up for it. Or buy some slaves.
 

520. If I were religious it would have put me way up there!
 

Eh - 535. Glad to be. Wish it was higher though. Ruh Roh, I hear the Cheka coming after me now.
 

+440
Though I am Five Years of undug beet fields away from the initiation of the Progressive Guilt Quiz Self Denunciation Project, I feel compelled to denounce myself here and now.
Do I get remission for depth and sincerity of guilt?

It will be lonely at Platform 1. Sigh!
 

No, no, no Komradina Sputnik, at 500, I too will be waiting at the Platform with trembling knees and sweaty palms for trans-shipment to the nearest Gulag--Detroit.

There will always be new generations of thought criminals to punish!!
 

I have accumulated 545 guilt points. I confess that when I have cardboard boxes to dispose of, rather than turning them into a fiber-rich beet supplement for my family or driving them to the recycling center, I put them in the dumpster. I feel responsible for increases in malaria worldwide. How can I rid myself of this guilt?
 

I have accumulated 545 guilt points. I confess that when I have cardboard boxes to dispose of, rather than turning them into a fiber-rich beet supplement for my family or driving them to the recycling center, I put them in the dumpster. I feel responsible for increases in malaria worldwide. How can I rid myself of this guilt?
 

I have accumulated 545 guilt points. I confess that when I have cardboard boxes to dispose of, rather than turning them into a fiber-rich beet supplement for my family or driving them to the recycling center, I put them in the dumpster. I feel responsible for increases in malaria worldwide. How can I rid myself of this guilt?
 

615. Does this go on my permanent record?
 

My guilt level is 360, oh well, back to the trenches!
 

Comrade Komissars and Premier Red, I am afraid that I have scored 520. I request nothing but a high-quality shovel in the gulag, and a worker number that doesn't end in 2 or 7 if such a request may be fulfilled. If the Gulag is full please send me a Correspondence Course in the mail, I have already started studying Party doctrine from library books. Glory to the Party!

PolPotLuckSupper

520. If I were religious it would have put me way up there!
I hear you Comrade PolPot!
 

480... I shall surrender my beet ration card and report to my nearest re-edukation gulag before Next Tuesday, with shovel in hand.
 

It is an UTTERLY BIASED and TOTALLY UNSCIENTIFIK TEST!!! WE ARE OUTRAGED!!!565, so I suppose I'm suppose to be guilty or something...

 

400 points.
 

My original score was 220. Then I got re educated and now my score is -195. Now to socialize our scores!
 

570, if it can't be measured it can't be managed. I am surprised it is so low.
 

geoff

Guardian of Pravda

You have Sister? I hope not.

Sad to report, yes...I do have sister. However, she is far less guilty than I, weighs only 135kg (when not carrying RPG-7) and is SINGLE! Want her Obamaphone number, Tovarisch?


Thanking you for offer but I will be busy mining Beets in new Beet mine discovered in my current gulag.
 

NormB

615. Does this go on my permanent record?
Everything, including lies, falsehoods, innuendo just or unjust accusations goes into your permanent record.
 

I scored 540... guilty as charged.
 

Being new to this glorious site I was ordered compelled desirous to take this quiz. I have scored 550 mostly, I think, because I have my own shovel. I love potatoes, but do not like beets. I have been ordered, compelled, freely volunteer for shock therapy.
 

595, I am so humbly guilty...spit, spit....
 

545...
feeling like I'm marching guiltily shlepping in a pretty uniform Kollektive. FORWARD!
 

600 - As Third Jackboot From the Left, We have feelings of great remorse for our flagrant privilege accumulation! We will submit ourselves to the Palace of Corrective Detention!
 

Genosse Dummkopf

545...
feeling like I'm marching guiltily shlepping in a pretty uniform Kollektive. FORWARD!
As opposed to slouching to Gomorrah?
 

Guardian of Pravda

... As opposed to slouching to Gomorrah?
Borked!
 

Genosse Dummkopf

Guardian of Pravda

... As opposed to slouching to Gomorrah?
Borked!Quite
 

Dear Fearless Leaders and Fellow Proles, I hang my head in shame to report my 505 point guilt score. I fear I will need at least 2 shovels to labor for our great and glorious Kollective.
 

Comradelately

Dear Fearless Leaders and Fellow Proles, I hang my head in shame to report my 505 point guilt score. I fear I will need at least 2 shovels to labor for our great and glorious Kollective.
Ambidextrous. Wonderful comrade you can do twice the work.
 

As clear evidence of my dire need to be re-educated, I shamefully report the accumulation of 480 guilt points. Please, pity me and have mercy: I was subjected to a childhood of ease, education (indoctrination, as I can clearly see now), and accountability.

I'm sure I should rightly be sent to the glorious gulags. However, I vow to do my utmost to rely on the Karl Marx Treatment Center's thoroughly adequate resources to rid me of all my original ideas, privileged tendencies, and whatever notions about the so-called "happiness of freedom" and personal responsibility that my parents insidiously inflicted on me. I loathe and renounce my whiteness, maleness, lower-middle class affluence, post-graduate education, and any ability to seek any truth other than the Current one.