Human rights group, Human Rights Right This Minute! (HRRTM) has condemned what it calls "inappropriate remarks bordering on racism and bigotry" that came from an English journalist Joe Snuffy as he was beheaded on a recently surfaced Al Qaeda video. The official transcript of the tape attributes to Mr. Snuffy the following statement: "Islam and Mo..." While the rest of the message was censored by Western news agencies out of respect for non-Western religions, human rights watchdogs at HRRTM claim that with the help of hired lip-reading and body-language experts they reconstructed Mr. Snuffy's statement, which appears to contain inflammatory hate speech. "Just as we had suspected all along," says spokesbeing for HRRTM Sarah Fulano.
A reaction to this gruesome discovery was a series of condemnations throughout Europe.
"Joe Snuffy is an embarrassment to journalists throughout the world," stated press-release issued by a Paris-based international group Reporters Without Purview.
"We will not have peace in the world as long as Westerners feel free to insult other peoples' cultural expressions," said British Foreign Secretary Eugene McFulane in an official statement as British parliamentarians called for stricter hate speech laws.
British MPs are currently working on a new bill that will require all non-Muslim children to undergo sensitivity shock therapy. The revolutionary new treatment will have children fastened to specially wired chairs and shown pictures of ethnic representatives around the world engaged in various activities, from banking to upper extremity removals. Shocks would be administered until the subject reacts equally to all activities.
In the United States, the most notable reaction came from former Vice President Al Gore, in a speech before the Committee for Low Ocean Levels (CLOL). "Is it any wonder why people hate the United States and George Bush? When he heats up the rhetorical environment as much as the Earth climate, he builds more than CO2 levels, he builds resentment," Gore said.
When reminded that the journalist was a Brit, Gore responded, "To them, every Western head they remove is Bush's head. And who can blame them? Not me. "
So was Kilinfidel, Kiljew, Kilchristian, Kilgay, Kilhindu, Kilbuddhist, Kilshia, and Kilsunni.
I suggest we open federally funded Noggin Liberating Euthanasia Sensitivity Workshops and have schools across America teach classes with kids pulling off baby doll heads (this will help get the youngsters acquainted to CHOICE! as well).
But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name.
And the Jews say: Uzair (Ezra) is the son of Allah; and the Christians say: The Messiah is the son of Allah; these are the words of their mouths; they imitate the saying of those who disbelieved before; may Allah destroy them; how they are turned away!
See? Indistinguishable! Well, except for the fact that the quotation from John constitutes hate speech while the passage from the Koran constitutes free speech.
A purge may be in order here... this man is slowly losing his usefulness.
RedtheProgressiveFoxHow dare they insult them and their religion while they are cutting his head off! ... Let’s also get someone who has had some sensitivity training and send them over there, preferably a white American business man.
Chairman M. S. PunchenkoI think we should have a chat with Mr. Michael Moore about going around telling folks that Al-Qaeda terrorist recieve better healthcare at Gitmo than the average American citizen. ... this man is slowly losing his usefulness.
Am I the only one who thinks that the logic here suggests sending Mr. Michael Moore to negotiate with al-Qaeda in Iraq? He can use Hillary's approach: "Let's chat, let's talk." I'm sure it'll work out just great for all the parties involved.
a) he's one of their most useful idiots
b) it's too much effort to hack through his fat neck
We need to be thinking about how to solve "interesting" problems like this when that glorious day comes where we The Party™ are in control. And, therefore, it will be time to purge the useful idiots like Michael Moose and Rosie O'Dykell.
Zampolit Boris Sukavich Blokhayev
Judy WallaceNever argue with an idiot for he'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Also let's not forget that Michael Moore and Rosie perform the valuable service of eating food that would poison a dump.
Alright, I want everyone to stop talking about this loser who got his head sawed off and start worrying about the REAL problems that are facing our country, for instance: I want everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, to start thinking of ways we can get these terrorist or whatever they call themselves these days OFF THE NEWS.
Joe gerbil stuffing Stalin, we just bought the Amnesty Bill, people! GET WITH THE DAMN PROGRAM AND THINK!
BTW - I can't make out your avatar, Blogunov. What is it?
Oh, no, Nansky, sorry. I see what you mean. Entirely too believable. What about this?
The New York TimesPresident George W. Bush looked funny at a puppy in 1972. Al Sharpton addresses crowd of one million men about President Bush's hate-puppy crime, saying it is proof that President Bush did not pay attention to weapon information in Iraq because he was consulting with Nieman Marcus about the size and position of the diamonds to be sewn on his Klan robe.
In a related event, at a gathering at Lilith Fair, Rosie O'Donnell mounts the stand and gives a 30-minute oration, and ends with a chant
Rosie O'DonnellI'm hungry and my snatch hurts
which the crowd repeats. The dancing Rosie O'Donnell causes the stand to collapse beneath her and she and Bill Maher lead a march to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue to demand that President Bush do something about her painful bush.
I know Katie Couric would believe that one and while reporting on it would squirm in her chair, making wet, sucking noises, just as she did when interviewing Bill Clinton in 1992.
And Betty, we have, in our enlightened plane, all agreed that appliances have feelings--recall Meow's popup tart wife, the toaster Helen? I hear he is absent owing to a recurring bout of separation anxiety. Meow, god love him, hasn't quite figured out that the Party doesn't have feelings. Only lusts and desires.
NancyBTW - I can't make out your avatar, Blogunov. What is it?
It's inspired by the worker and farmer statue (scroll down a bit), except the keyboard is in place of the hammer held by the worker. It's a reminder to our struggling cyber-comrades that with the hammer of our blog we shall prevail in the inevitable revolution!
Where is hill at? Where is my little snukum britches at?? <burrrrrrruuupppp> ahh. Mmm, where is the scotch dammit... mor scotch dammit... I need mo...scotch <yawn> Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz ZZZZzzzz
I didn't do anything to deserve this. Oh, I stole a few billion and went a week without telling the truth, but that's nothing to what Our Many Titted Empress has done.
Bruno! Bruno! Bring me a gallon of the Bombay Sapphire!
Just breathe Theo, just try to breathe, and will somebody put a towel or something over that festering pile of lard! Tell me when it's done because I don't want to look.
Can you hear me Theo? Can you see anything?
Where is Dr. Fuku when you need him?
But the problem was that Bruno was opening a can of tuna for the cat and that smell, along with Nancy's pendulous, withered dugs dragging the ground was what felled me. That that the leer on her face.
My picture of Mao fell to the ground, and you know what a wonderful progressive he was: he thought that if he screwed 1,000 virgins he'd live forever, and his doctor in a kiss-and-tell book said that Mao never washed his privates thinking it would give him immorality.
I'm sure the virgins never forgot it.
You know, that's an idea. If we could get lots of character actors to act like Mao and make the RepubliKKKans copulate with them, it would soften them up for the hard stuff, like H8.
And it sounds like Mao was one step ahead of Muhammad on the virgin thing. One could always die and go to paradise and get 72 virgins, but why die when you can do 1,000 and live forever! And in your spare time while being immortal, you could screw infinitely more virgins!
Sounds like another great talking point for communism.
But I'm getting confused here. When you compare commie babes with Rosie.
Oh. I get it.
hOW BOUT a song evrrybody! Dancing Queen, look at the dancin queen! only 17! jail baiting dancin quee......... Zzzzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzzzz Zzzzzzz
Nansky, how many times have I told you not to mix Ludes with Scotch? You know that at the best of times you have trouble with syntax, and just what got into you, praising that commie? Sure we all love 'em; I keep a volume of Hobbsbawm under my pillow at night, right next to Ward Churchill. But you can't say it, for God's sake.
And Nansky, I respectfully decline to use my Vaseline on your panties. I have a horrible feeling that if you were denuded, more would fall out than if I took off Bruno's jock strap.
My god! What's that on the floor? Sootikins? That's it, dinner coming up, and right now....thump...
....Party Action Code- 6A-SFCA-Operation SnuffDaBeyotch
TO- Comrade Commissar Theocritus, TPC/NFHS
FROM- Zampolit Boris Sukavich Blokhayev TPC/MCGI
All praise be to Lenin!!! This time, the camcorder WORKED!!! I now have the target on tape. I will store the tape in a safe place, should the time come that The Party™ is forced to purge the target. GREAT STALIN'S GHOST, THEO!!! That bitch sure can put away a SHITLOAD of scotch. 12 liters, man!!! 12 LITERS! WTF??? And I am not talking about the cheap shit! She need not worry about liver damage. SHE HAS NO LIVER!!! Never the less... job well done, comrade!!! Mission Accomplished!!!
Commissar TheocritusThat's why Our Many Titted Empress has paid me to harvest the pituitary glands of virgin girls in an effort for immortality.
Any luck with that?
What bothers me though is when she starts bathing in virgins' blood. Do you realize how many you have to slaughter to fill a wading pool? By the time you're sacrificing your 15th virgin, the shallow end has started to clot. I've tried heperin, but it takes so much that it dilutes the color and Our Many Titted Empress won't have that.
"Theocritus," she bellows, her tusks, before she had them removed, dripping with virgins' blood, "Just how in the name of Marx do you think I'm going to live forever, or at least until Bill's pecker won't stand up at every floozy that walks by, if you can't get me good virgin blood?"
I tried, Zampolit, I really tried. I flew on an SR 71--you thought they were all mothballed, didn't you--to Peking and had a meeting in a secret room in the Forbidden City and was given access to the re-education camps of people who bust out of the slave-labor, er worker's paradise factories in northwest China. I had access to the blood of every single person who knew the Roman alphabet. They hate those gaijin, you know.
And now that bitch doesn't want common 0 blood. No, that won't do for her. It seems that they did DNA analysis on Marie Antoinette's blood and she had a rare blood, and nothing but the best for Our Empress.
I swear if I didn't that she could lead the charge into the future, her snout down, her trotters digging into the turf, I'd make her into sausage and feed to Arabs and be done with it.
But, Heil Hillary H8!
Write it down on the back of your hand on your own blood.
I know how you forget things.
Maybe tie a rope around your neck too.
Let's talk. You're never going to get better virgin blood than I can provide. I've got chartered flights from prison camps that don't even show on Google.
And Dear Leader in North Korea thinks I'm the bees' knees ever since I gave him the tin foil left from the Christmas packages I gave to the orphans that I'm raising to go into white slavery. Do you realize just how many virgins there are there?
And here's a really good one. I've got things on DiFi and can get virgins from San Francisco. Not male ones, of course--that is to laugh--but think of all the female virgins there.
And if you're nice to me, I'll let you play with them first. They can service you and then their blood can can service you.
Oh. Bring along your Hildo Hydra 7.1. Janet broke the carborundum tip while she was here and ever since Bhopal getting that fixed is a bitch.
Quote:Oh. Bring along your Hildo Hydra 7.1. Janet broke the carborundum tip while she was here and ever since Bhopal getting that fixed is a bitch.
I guess I will have to send it over to Jiffy Lube. See People's Blog.