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E-mail itNobel Committee Rescinds Arafat's Peace Prize
 | Nobel Committee Rescinds Arafat's Peace Prize, Gives it to Hamas (STOCKHØLM) The Nobel Peace Prize Committee has acted to rescind Yasser Arafat's Peace Prize effective immediately, and to give it to Hamas, the Palestinian Sunni Islamist organization currently governing the people of the Palestinian National Authority. |
"They have it anyway," said Jander Skølfin, Third Executive Director to the Vice Chairman of the Nobel Prize Committee. Skølfin was referring to Hamas's acquisition yesterday of Arafat's 1994 Peace Prize during Hamas's exploratory sortee of Arafat's premises.
Although the Committee had heard undocumented charges that Arafat had siphoned billions of dollars of humanitarian aid meant for the Palestinian people, that fact "came home," as Skølfin phrased it, after the world witnessed the Palestinian people swipe Arafat's widow's clothes and shoes. "One day the world will know just how much Hamas really cares," he added. In making their decision, the Nobel Peace Prize Committee also cited Nobel Peace Prize winner and former US President Jimmy Carter, who, in January 2006, stated, "There have been no complaints of corruption against Hamas's elected officials."
Hamas joins other groups, rather than individuals, who have received the granddaddy of all awards. These include The Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, the International Labour Organization (I.L.O.) in Geneva, and International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War located in Boston.
Submitted by Fit To Print News
<clapping> Now that the Hamas had total power over Gaza, we can further bring about peace throughout the region by finally dealing with the terrorist (Zionist)!
He he. I like the picture of the terrorist in the x-ray machine, but wouldn't that give him cancer from the radiation? We need to make places for them so if they do attempt to kill hundreds of people, they will be able to do so without further injuring themselves. As they say, no one deserves cancer.
It looks like a bag scanner to me, maybe we should give them special cards so that they don't have to sneak round anymore and kill people (as you said), without harming themselves.
X-ray machine, bag scanner, who cares? It's the same thing, the bag scanner uses x-rays to scan bags. But I don’t know what is on the view screen with him in there....
An idea! We should take out the screen. What if the terrorist has something personal on him/her/itself? Privacy is the key! It is unethical for the terrorist not to have privacy. I mean, what if he/she/it wishes something not to be seen, like, say, I don't know, a gun, bomb, or any other tool of peace for freedom?
Exactly! The minorities that have been oppressed by the evil kkkapitlaists have every right to keep those personal items to themselves. However those kkkapitlaists that have been oppressing the peace loving freedom fighters have nothing to hide because they will not be allowed to keep "personal items". Everything they have must be viewed and shared with the public.
We should get the peoples inventor Al Gore <may he and the all knowning weather rock be blessed> to invent a machine that will scan the kapitalist, but leave the peace-loving minorty freedom fighters of Islam alone and personal.
Nobel Peace Prize? It's a scandal. I should have received one years ago, but I will accept one posthumously. Not that I'm bragging or anything, but I brought peace to vast areas of the USSR and surrounding countries. All of those areas were very peaceful once all of the noisy, trouble making peasants, kulaks, and other enemies of the people were - uh - that is - they became unalive during my successful five year plans and collectivization. And my Siberian jobs program was an unqualified success for years.
All that girly-terrorist Arafat did to get his Nobel Peace Prize was kill Jews. I killed more Jews in a day than he did in his whole suck-up-to-Jimmy Carter-career, not to mention, intellectual, Ukrainians, and my own generals. I demand justice! I demand a Nobel Peace Prize! I deserve it more than Arafat and Carter combined!
All that girly-terrorist Arafat did to get his Nobel Peace Prize was kill Jews. I killed more Jews in a day than he did in his whole suck-up-to-Jimmy Carter-career, not to mention, intellectual, Ukrainians, and my own generals. I demand justice! I demand a Nobel Peace Prize! I deserve it more than Arafat and Carter combined!
Premier Betty
He he. I like the picture of the terrorist in the x-ray machine, but wouldn't that give him cancer from the radiation?Yes it would – and if it doesn't we will just say it will. That freedom fighter DESERVES free healthcare as soon as possible! Lenin forbid if he develops cancer while shooting at innocent civilians while hiding in that X-Ray scanner! How will he, a fighter for The People, ever afford such treatments?? How I ask?? Answer: he can't... and that is why we have to step in and foot the bill for him with tax-payer dollars. And while we're at it, we also need to remove X-Ray scanners from airports so that other freedom fighters will not develop the same life threatening illnesses.
GIVE 'EM FREE HEALTHCARE!
Chairman M. S. Punchenko
Premier Betty
He he. I like the picture of the terrorist in the x-ray machine, but wouldn't that give him cancer from the radiation?Yes it would – and if it doesn't we will just say it will. That freedom fighter DESERVES free healthcare as soon as possible! Lenin forbid if he develops cancer while shooting at innocent civilians while hiding in that X-Ray scanner! How will he, a fighter for The People, ever afford such treatments?? How I ask?? Answer: he can't... and that is why we have to step in and foot the bill for him with tax-payer dollars. And while we're at it, we also need to remove X-Ray scanners from airports so that other freedom fighters will not develop the same life threatening illnesses.
GIVE 'EM FREE HEALTHCARE!
Surely you're not serious comrade!!! FREE HEALTHCARE, as we can see in England and Cuba, means rotting teeth, lobotomies, and cockroach-laden clinics --not to mention certain death from the next virus you get once you turn 65--for the ordinary so & so, although it would of course mean luxury spas, supervised high-nutrient diets, priemiere medicine and expert care for us, the elite. (The latter of course just references the Cuban variety of free healthcare. British free healthcare is just bad for everyone).
With free healthcare, our poor freedom fighter would be worse off than if left alone in a cave if he ended up with cancer. Unless he's a close relative of premier Betty, then we'd have an excuse to set him up in one of those swanky spas.
The Tsarevna
With free healthcare, our poor freedom fighter would be worse off than if left alone in a cave if he ended up with cancer.Why YES! Comrade Tsarevna! Look at Comrade Osama bin Laden. Living in all those caves with diabetes and kidney disease all while eluding the imperialist AmeriKKKan/Zionist forces that are chasing him. And he is doing fine! My heart sings with pride everytime I see a new video of him. Knowing that he lives on fighting Zionists, AmeriKKKans, and Global Warming. (And knowing I may yet get my fondest wish of putting a .45ACP between his eyes.). Where is Comrade bin Laden's peace prize? I ask you ... Where??? In the future he will get his prize!
Algore Ahkbar!
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In the meantime, the boys are so excited. They're prakkkkticing a little skkkit (since everyone else's k key is stuckkkk too, I decided to get mine disabled so that we kould all be ekual) in anticipation of akkcepting the re-furbished Nobel Peace Prize.
http://www.julescrittenden.com/2007/06/17/good-grab/
Algore Akhkhbar, indeed, Kkkomrde Zampolit! May the Carbon Deficits be with you.
http://www.julescrittenden.com/2007/06/17/good-grab/
Algore Akhkhbar, indeed, Kkkomrde Zampolit! May the Carbon Deficits be with you.
The Tsarevna
although it would of course mean luxury spas, supervised high-nutrient diets, priemiere medicine and expert care for us, the elite.Greater equality has its privileges. The masses need to understand that.
Zampolit Blokhayev
(And knowing I may yet get my fondest wish of putting a .45ACP between his eyes.)Brother! Would not the prophet Algore, peace be upon him, admonish us to use a 9mm as it leaves a smaller carbon defilement?
Algore Ahkbar!
PS - Is it just a coincidence that you can't spell "ahkbar" without AK?
Comrades, do you not understand the success that we are having now that our Comrades in Congress have made hash of the Bushitler's plan in the Middle East? Unnoticed were the antiglobalization forces at the G8 conference in Germany. Now those are people we can depend on.
Their thinking is confused, and I like that. They can contradict themselves twice in a single sentence and I like that too. And they can get everyone pissed off over everything. I really like that.
These are very useful people, Comrades. Why do we bother squashing individuals when there is a whole heaving mass of hate-fulled humanity ready to pull the trigger for us?
We just have to make sure that we seem to care. And we have to say bad things about rich people. And we'll invite the leaders in for a meet-and-greet with the party faithful and give them the really good liquor and some ladies of easy virtue, or men, if your taste, or gender, lies that way. Easily corrupted, you know.
It's all anger management, and I don't mean that in the way it's traditionally understood.
Their thinking is confused, and I like that. They can contradict themselves twice in a single sentence and I like that too. And they can get everyone pissed off over everything. I really like that.
These are very useful people, Comrades. Why do we bother squashing individuals when there is a whole heaving mass of hate-fulled humanity ready to pull the trigger for us?
We just have to make sure that we seem to care. And we have to say bad things about rich people. And we'll invite the leaders in for a meet-and-greet with the party faithful and give them the really good liquor and some ladies of easy virtue, or men, if your taste, or gender, lies that way. Easily corrupted, you know.
It's all anger management, and I don't mean that in the way it's traditionally understood.
What about Appliance-Americans, Theocritus!? My taste lie with the Appliance-Americans! Ah yes, the shiny chrome, the cold metal, the knobs and buttons...ooohhhhh... not to mention the lack of banter, oh how I love the fact they can't speak (although I feel their pain, which is why they need more Appliance friendly social-programs!!!). Theocritus, I'm ashamed you would exclude our Appliance-American friends. I think they deserve an apology from you, yes, an apology followed by a trip to rehab! Ugghhh, I have to go now, John Conyers just wrapped up his 10 hour long speech on some crap or another.
Let there be peace between my le...err... the valley, I mean,
Nancy
Let there be peace between my le...err... the valley, I mean,
Nancy
Comrade Blogunov
Zampolit Blokhayev
(And knowing I may yet get my fondest wish of putting a .45ACP between his eyes.)Brother! Would not the prophet Algore, peace be upon him, admonish us to use a 9mm as it leaves a smaller carbon defilement?
Algore Ahkbar!
PS - Is it just a coincidence that you can't spell "ahkbar" without AK?
LOL!!! Comrade Blogunov! A 9mm cannot achieve the "Cranial Expansion" that a person of such importance and high regard as Comrade bin Laden deserves! A .45ACP will give him the "Cranial Expansion" he is entitled to and will only cost 1 carbon credit more. In the end we can make up the extra expense of this carbon credit by hacking his dead carcass up and letting the scavenging animals have at it. That way we do not spend extra carbon credits burying his mangy ass! :D
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ZB
Nancky, it may be misplaced pride, but when I hear you and Mr. Reno and Our Many Titted Empress talk about your, er, revels, I wonder what became of the Hildo Hydra 7.1? Does it consume too much power?
But I have a thought. When you fly around the world, on your missions of peace and loot, er, information gathering, why not just sit on a fireplug welded to the deck of your 757 and tell the captain to look for turbulent weather?
And Zampolit, do you hate scavenging animals enough to let them eat bin Laden? Even that nasty beast the hyena deserves better than that. Oh. I get it. Put him on the floor of the House with a sign that says, "Straight White Rich Man" and let the duly elected members do the work for us.
But I have a thought. When you fly around the world, on your missions of peace and loot, er, information gathering, why not just sit on a fireplug welded to the deck of your 757 and tell the captain to look for turbulent weather?
And Zampolit, do you hate scavenging animals enough to let them eat bin Laden? Even that nasty beast the hyena deserves better than that. Oh. I get it. Put him on the floor of the House with a sign that says, "Straight White Rich Man" and let the duly elected members do the work for us.
Commissar Theocritus
And Zampolit, do you hate scavenging animals enough to let them eat bin Laden? Even that nasty beast the hyena deserves better than that. Oh. I get it. Put him on the floor of the House with a sign that says, "Straight White Rich Man" and let the duly elected members do the work for us.Officer thinking, Dear Commissar! You're catching on quite well!!!
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ZB
Comrades, "to each according to his needs" (Marx). Arafat's widow Suha doesn't need those clothes that so abruptly became the property of the People. She lives in Tunisia, on the 8- or 9-figure pension that she took with her from Paris after that crypto-funeral at the highly secure French military hospital where her dear Yasser finally departed this earth.
The people's journalists (in the background) are now well protected by the Revolutionary Forces.
The Presidium will now take your questions.
The people's journalists (in the background) are now well protected by the Revolutionary Forces.
The Presidium will now take your questions.
Love those masks. I could have chosen a better fabric though, but the idea excites me. This means that I could take a weekend as say an assassin, just to keep my hand in, and maintain that I was somewhere else, sort of an October surprise idea, and also I would not be breaking the closed shop of the Brotherhood of Bomb Throwers and Child Killers, Local 879.
And I think that we're on to something here. If people only want to kill but don't want to get their faces in the news, like dear Comrade Che or Vlad or that cuddly old rascal Mao, then we won't have to contend with a bunch of Hollywood type egos, always elbowing others out of the way. These people just want to kill, and that's a good thing.
And I think that we're on to something here. If people only want to kill but don't want to get their faces in the news, like dear Comrade Che or Vlad or that cuddly old rascal Mao, then we won't have to contend with a bunch of Hollywood type egos, always elbowing others out of the way. These people just want to kill, and that's a good thing.
Zampolit Blokhayev
LOL!!! Comrade Blogunov! A 9mm cannot achieve the "Cranial Expansion" that a person of such importance and high regard as Comrade bin Laden deserves! A .45ACP will give him the "Cranial Expansion" he is entitled to and will only cost 1 carbon credit more. In the end we can make up the extra expense of this carbon credit by hacking his dead carcass up and letting the scavenging animals have at it. That way we do not spend extra carbon credits burying his mangy ass! :D--
ZB
Forgive me, comrades! To my shame and embarrassment I had briefly forgotten the party dictum I had just quoted - Greater Equality Has Its Privileges. Very well, then, how about a Barrett rifle to give this more equal struggling comrade the cranial expansion he deserves? The muzzle blast alone from those babies can knock plaster off the walls when fired from inside. Afterwards, we can dispose of the remains according to the enlightened Commissar's environmentally sensitive plan. Truly the judgment of God, Theocritus!
Comrades, I have another suggestion for bin Laden's carcass. I am having second thoughts about letting Congress feast on him--after all, what if there is something to the idea of transubstantiation of souls? As much as I love and respect and fear, and I mean fear our Many Titted Empress, do we really want her to have the input of bin Laden?
Let us rather use that German artist who makes plasticized bodies and make one of bin Laden and put him in the Berkeley Quad. That ought to cut down on the procreation of Party Members who might challenge our supremacy.
But Comrade Blogunov, by all means keep your Barrett rifle to hand. There are a few of the lesser Party Members who have not shown me quite the right respect lately and perhaps one or two might have their horizons widened. Pour encourager les autres, as the Froggie king said.
Let us rather use that German artist who makes plasticized bodies and make one of bin Laden and put him in the Berkeley Quad. That ought to cut down on the procreation of Party Members who might challenge our supremacy.
But Comrade Blogunov, by all means keep your Barrett rifle to hand. There are a few of the lesser Party Members who have not shown me quite the right respect lately and perhaps one or two might have their horizons widened. Pour encourager les autres, as the Froggie king said.
Comrade, I fear that some sort of transubstantiation or transmigration has already taken place (eg Comrade Edwards, "War? What war? I thought 9/11 was just a bumper sticker!").
In the meantime, Smersh and I will keep a sharp eye out for whoever first stops applauding your lapidary posts.
CB
In the meantime, Smersh and I will keep a sharp eye out for whoever first stops applauding your lapidary posts.
CB
Comrade Blogunov, I have since done some research on Senator John Edwards. It seems that Ron Perlman, head of Revlon, has formed a cabal to gain control of the world and with that in mind has engaged the scientists at Archer Daniels Midland, who feed mightily at the government tit, to make a hair gel which receives the brain-control waves broadcast from space.
The problem is that Revlon's satellite, Spudnut One, was not properly engineered--damn NEA engineers, where how you feel is more important than whether it works--and Laika's brain waves caused a beat frequency, which you can determine by a careful examination of every photograph above Senator Edward's head. Notice the slight nimbus that is out of focus?
But I have sent Mr. Reno over to reason with Mr. Perlman, and she is taking her crew of friends: Molly Yard, Molly Ivins (who is really not dead, or more so than usual), Rosie, and their cheerleaders, Senator Mikulski and Representative Waters. I am awaiting a report of their success.
And by the way, do you know a good tanner? I need a new change purse and shortly Senator Edwards will be functioning with brass balls rather than real ones.
The problem is that Revlon's satellite, Spudnut One, was not properly engineered--damn NEA engineers, where how you feel is more important than whether it works--and Laika's brain waves caused a beat frequency, which you can determine by a careful examination of every photograph above Senator Edward's head. Notice the slight nimbus that is out of focus?
But I have sent Mr. Reno over to reason with Mr. Perlman, and she is taking her crew of friends: Molly Yard, Molly Ivins (who is really not dead, or more so than usual), Rosie, and their cheerleaders, Senator Mikulski and Representative Waters. I am awaiting a report of their success.
And by the way, do you know a good tanner? I need a new change purse and shortly Senator Edwards will be functioning with brass balls rather than real ones.
Comrade Blogunov
Forgive me, comrades! To my shame and embarrassment I had briefly forgotten the party dictum I had just quoted - Greater Equality Has Its Privileges. Very well, then, how about a Barrett rifle to give this more equal struggling comrade the cranial expansion he deserves? The muzzle blast alone from those babies can knock plaster off the walls when fired from inside. Afterwards, we can dispose of the remains according to the enlightened Commissar's environmentally sensitive plan. Truly the judgment of God, Theocritus!Barrett .50 cal!!! Heh Heh! ... Heh Heh Heh! Yeeeesssssssssssssssss.... MORE POWER!!!!! Oooops! Went a little nuts there just for a sec.
Indeed! Let our dear enlightened Commissar Theocritus' disposal plans prevail.
--
ZB
Commissar Theocritus
But I have sent Mr. Reno over to reason with Mr. Perlman, and she is taking her crew of friends: Molly Yard, Molly Ivins (who is really not dead, or more so than usual), Rosie, and their cheerleaders, Senator Mikulski and Representative Waters. I am awaiting a report of their success.They're in deeeeeeeep shit, now! Rosie alone is trouble, but Babs "Butch" Mikulski too! THE INHUMANITY, THEOCRITUS!!! ... It's brilliant! I LOVE IT!
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And by the way, do you know a good tanner? I need a new change purse and shortly Senator Edwards will be functioning with brass balls rather than real ones.ROTFLMAO!!! Who's going to polish them thar' new fangled brass balls for him? Barney Frank?
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Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev
Actually Bonnie Fwank is going to Mayo to see an oral surgeon and a proctologist. I gave him a beta version of the Hildo Hydra 7.3, but the Macintosh edition and it doesn't crash. The two parts met in the center and shook him like a terrier shaking a rat.
After I turned it off and pulled out with a most horrible sucking sound, before I poured him into Laurie David's Gulfstream V he was spitting out teeth and blood and muttering, "Beat me, whip me, make me write bad checks on the House Bank!"
After I turned it off and pulled out with a most horrible sucking sound, before I poured him into Laurie David's Gulfstream V he was spitting out teeth and blood and muttering, "Beat me, whip me, make me write bad checks on the House Bank!"
Last time I saw Bonnie was on C-SCAM with his arm in a sling... ming splainin', Theocritus?
That admits of an easy explanation. He was found with his head and shoulders so far up Our Many Titted Empress's ass that they had to use the Jaws of Life to retrieve him. Fortunately, for him at least, he's used to breathing methane.
That's why he never smoked, by the way.
That's why he never smoked, by the way.
Commissar Theocritus
That's why he never smoked, by the way.Too bad! If he had, as soon as he struck a match he would have vaporized himself in a 20 megaton explosion.
--
ZB
And how lucky we are that he didn't do that. As a planarium worm will make two worms if cut in half, imagine the world covered with bits of Bonnie Fwank, all rising up like the skeletons in Harryhausen's Jason and the Argonauts to crush the Evil Kapitalists.
An army of progressive soldiers from the exploded remnants of a pissy toothless queen! I love it.
An army of progressive soldiers from the exploded remnants of a pissy toothless queen! I love it.
We already have an equivalent.
The Nixon clones are still in training for the day when the revolution comes and the New Peoples Red Army can rise up to "assist" the masses in the transition from kkkapitalist oppression to glorious party approved freedoms.
The Nixon clones are still in training for the day when the revolution comes and the New Peoples Red Army can rise up to "assist" the masses in the transition from kkkapitalist oppression to glorious party approved freedoms.
I have a news flash. The Clones are all driving hybrid vehicles, or they are labeled hybrids. The batteries are really pods for people.
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The batteries are really pods for people.Ooh, you mean like in The Matrix? I can't wait for the day when the machines finally put all of humanity to good use and have the computer generated world be a communist utopia with us in charge!
Betty, the day is closer than we thought. Bill Gates has teamed up with Honda, whom make that anthropomorphic robot which walks, and with advice from Bill Clinton they have produced Paris Hilton. Take some plastic, a lot of vacuous talk, giggles, rolling eyes--very easy, ask Richard Simmons or your garden-variety Bug-Eyed Queen, oh, redundant, sorry--and have it animated by an 3GB Intel Core 2 Duo.
The only problem, which I will confess just between us girls, or you're not, and I'm not, although Jerry Falwell would think I were if he weren't being buggered by Tinky Winky now in hell, that our biggest problem is Our Many Titted Empress, the Demon Queen of Busy Body Hell. For with real pod people we don't actually need anyone to mind others' business, for we just sell them Service Packs.
The only problem, which I will confess just between us girls, or you're not, and I'm not, although Jerry Falwell would think I were if he weren't being buggered by Tinky Winky now in hell, that our biggest problem is Our Many Titted Empress, the Demon Queen of Busy Body Hell. For with real pod people we don't actually need anyone to mind others' business, for we just sell them Service Packs.
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Bill Gates has teamed up with Honda, whom make that anthropomorphic robot which walks, and with advice from Bill Clinton they have produced Paris Hilton. Take some plastic, a lot of vacuous talk, giggles, rolling eyes--very easyWe could call it the Hookerbot v1! This could be huge, legal prostitution using robots. I'm sure we could get Meow's support for this little venture. We could make millions! I mean... "The Party" could make millions to fund the revolution.
Betty, your Freudian slip is quite permitted here, in camera. Of course I, er, we, could make millions. For after all, the Party diktat is that all are created equal but some are more equal than others. Poor Orwell, to have disguised it by putting it in the mouths of pigs.
And somehow it fits our Many Titted Empress, does it not?
There is one additional refinement which occurred to me last night as I frolicked in Donald Trump's bed--he won't be needing it--with someone who ought to have known better than to accept a drink from me, it's these big blue eyes, you know. We'll get some advice from Heinrich Vises and make a small one situate between the Parobot's legs which won't let go until we have drained the man of everything.
As an analog, I am currently working on sculpted beef trimmings from aged, well aged beef surmounted by a frizzy blond wig and a nose like a knife separating eyes so close-set that there is no hope of depth perception, and I'm going to call it the Fabio.
But will you tell me something? Just why do women find themselves attracted to a man with all that hair? Isn't that rather, er, what is perceived to be gay?
Actually it's not. If I ever find it needful to go into the closet the first thing that I will do is grow shoulder-length hair and wear a silk shirt. That's taking out an ad. Although at my stage of decrepitude with shoulder-length hair I'd look like one of those pathetic dirty hippies in Santa Fe, true victims, er, beneficiaries of the Revolution. Who once a year come into town to bathe at a car wash. And if Our Many Titted Empress wants to feel good about the merciless effects of gravity, she may observe the hippie women in Santa Fe scraping off a year's worth of dirt in a car wash under a high-pressure hose.
It would change you, Betty, it would change you.
And somehow it fits our Many Titted Empress, does it not?
There is one additional refinement which occurred to me last night as I frolicked in Donald Trump's bed--he won't be needing it--with someone who ought to have known better than to accept a drink from me, it's these big blue eyes, you know. We'll get some advice from Heinrich Vises and make a small one situate between the Parobot's legs which won't let go until we have drained the man of everything.
As an analog, I am currently working on sculpted beef trimmings from aged, well aged beef surmounted by a frizzy blond wig and a nose like a knife separating eyes so close-set that there is no hope of depth perception, and I'm going to call it the Fabio.
But will you tell me something? Just why do women find themselves attracted to a man with all that hair? Isn't that rather, er, what is perceived to be gay?
Actually it's not. If I ever find it needful to go into the closet the first thing that I will do is grow shoulder-length hair and wear a silk shirt. That's taking out an ad. Although at my stage of decrepitude with shoulder-length hair I'd look like one of those pathetic dirty hippies in Santa Fe, true victims, er, beneficiaries of the Revolution. Who once a year come into town to bathe at a car wash. And if Our Many Titted Empress wants to feel good about the merciless effects of gravity, she may observe the hippie women in Santa Fe scraping off a year's worth of dirt in a car wash under a high-pressure hose.
It would change you, Betty, it would change you.
I dunno. It seems like a lot of women are attracted to guys who look like women. It's kind of scary, but then again it's just more proof for The Party that gay marriage is natural and should be allowed everywhere.
Zampolit Blokhayev
Barrett .50 cal!!! Heh Heh! ... Heh Heh Heh! Yeeeesssssssssssssssss.... MORE POWER!!!!! Oooops! Went a little nuts there just for a sec.Indeed! Let our dear enlightened Commissar Theocritus' disposal plans prevail.
--
ZB
Comrade, click here and scroll most of the way down the page. The sooner we start practicing, the better.
I always wanted one of those, but just as I began saving $$$ for it, the stupid Govenator passed a law banning all .50's. DAMN YOU ARNIE, DAMN YOU!!!!!!
Arnie is a Democrat in Republican drag.
Betty, let me make an argument for if not gay marriage but for public recognition. People who undergo the isolation and, well, trauma, of coming out often get a taste for iconoclasm. So it should be no shock to find people acting like silly screaming queens. Why not? You've done the hard part. And part of it is revenge on the world that told you you're awful. And if you have to create yourself, you might do a bad job of it, because when we're young we don't have sense--and many people never do--and if you're grasping for something to follow when you're say 8, what do you do?
Remember Blue Lagoon. The kids have a baby and have no idea what to do with it, and it learns to nurse accidentally. And the birth is accidental. They don't know the facts of life.
I bet you anything that there will be more and more gay conservatives, like me, now that people are a lot nicer and understanding. Which they are. And as more and more normal people come out, it will show people that we're not all BEQs, and it will show kids that they don't have to be BEQs. It will cut down on the offensive behavior, which I probably hate more than you do. I'm not like that.
Imagine if you were black but people couldn't tell it by looking at you. And the only blacks that people knew of were Louis Farrakhan. See my point?
But this does not mean that I have to love Cher, or Rosie, or Barbra.
Betty, let me make an argument for if not gay marriage but for public recognition. People who undergo the isolation and, well, trauma, of coming out often get a taste for iconoclasm. So it should be no shock to find people acting like silly screaming queens. Why not? You've done the hard part. And part of it is revenge on the world that told you you're awful. And if you have to create yourself, you might do a bad job of it, because when we're young we don't have sense--and many people never do--and if you're grasping for something to follow when you're say 8, what do you do?
Remember Blue Lagoon. The kids have a baby and have no idea what to do with it, and it learns to nurse accidentally. And the birth is accidental. They don't know the facts of life.
I bet you anything that there will be more and more gay conservatives, like me, now that people are a lot nicer and understanding. Which they are. And as more and more normal people come out, it will show people that we're not all BEQs, and it will show kids that they don't have to be BEQs. It will cut down on the offensive behavior, which I probably hate more than you do. I'm not like that.
Imagine if you were black but people couldn't tell it by looking at you. And the only blacks that people knew of were Louis Farrakhan. See my point?
But this does not mean that I have to love Cher, or Rosie, or Barbra.
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Remember Blue Lagoon. The kids have a baby and have no idea what to do with it, and it learns to nurse accidentally. And the birth is accidental. They don't know the facts of life.ARRRRGGGGHHHHH! You'll pay for this Theocritus!
Remember? I've successfully REPRESSED that memory for 27 YEARS UNTIL NOW!
Premier Betty....do not watch that movie under any circumstances. It's so F@#king stupid it will leave you numb and lower your IQ by 100 points just for having watched it. I was dragged kicking and screaming from theater and needed a thorazine hypo, it's that gawddamn awful.
Theocritus, what kind of sinister, nefarious, evil plot are you trying to hatch just by mentioning that...that....ARRRRGGGH!
Laika, it is to share the pain. I am immerded with Realtors here, and I have found the following
The problem gets back to disposal of the carcass. Do we use the Congressional route which I have proposed, or do I drag it to Hudspedth County, south of Sierra Blanca, for the sludge dump from New York City?
I see a problem in that the dried shit of New York would rise in rebellion against the carcass of a Realtor or mortgage broker and a whirlwind of toxic pathogens would cover West Texas.
And I have you beat in psychic pain. In 1995 when recovering from sepsis in an Odessa hospital, in and out of intensive-care psychosis, with a trach tube, the nurses kindly brought me a television and VCR on a cart used to show patients what would be done to them. One of the nurses, meaning well, brought Forest Gump and only then, with a tube in my throat, unable to lift my legs, unable to call for help, did I watch it.
"Life is like intensive care in Odessa. Every few hours you shit in the bed."
And, Laika dahlink, remember that that was only a later outing of Brook Shields'. She was in Pretty Baby in which her mother was a whore in a New Orleans whorehouse, and her mother was Party Member, but one of THE party, Susan Sarandon, and her cherry was auctioned off. The house was run by an old whore who advertised to take all comers, and that would again change Meow or Zampolit.
At the end the bankers, who lent on a whorehouse proving anything is possible in Nahlins--well there was the House check-kiting scandal come to think of it--came to take the furniture and the old whore is turned out of bed, bottle of absinthe in hand, not knowing what is going on.
That has always been my goal. To so weaken the American public with free food and circuses, setting all against the other, making everyone stew in resentment, until they are defenseless against Der Tag.
Laika, shall I build an annex for you at Rancho Rio Grande de Teocrito?
Article 50(c)(6) Texas Constitution
Any abstracter may kill, once a year, any Realtor or mortgage broker without penalty, civil or criminal. Should any abstracter kill more than one Realtor of mortgage broker in a calendar year, said kill shall be carried over to the next year's allotment, up to a maximum of 3, at which time a fine of not more than $10 shall be assessed for any kill over the specified periodThe problem gets back to disposal of the carcass. Do we use the Congressional route which I have proposed, or do I drag it to Hudspedth County, south of Sierra Blanca, for the sludge dump from New York City?
I see a problem in that the dried shit of New York would rise in rebellion against the carcass of a Realtor or mortgage broker and a whirlwind of toxic pathogens would cover West Texas.
And I have you beat in psychic pain. In 1995 when recovering from sepsis in an Odessa hospital, in and out of intensive-care psychosis, with a trach tube, the nurses kindly brought me a television and VCR on a cart used to show patients what would be done to them. One of the nurses, meaning well, brought Forest Gump and only then, with a tube in my throat, unable to lift my legs, unable to call for help, did I watch it.
"Life is like intensive care in Odessa. Every few hours you shit in the bed."
And, Laika dahlink, remember that that was only a later outing of Brook Shields'. She was in Pretty Baby in which her mother was a whore in a New Orleans whorehouse, and her mother was Party Member, but one of THE party, Susan Sarandon, and her cherry was auctioned off. The house was run by an old whore who advertised to take all comers, and that would again change Meow or Zampolit.
At the end the bankers, who lent on a whorehouse proving anything is possible in Nahlins--well there was the House check-kiting scandal come to think of it--came to take the furniture and the old whore is turned out of bed, bottle of absinthe in hand, not knowing what is going on.
That has always been my goal. To so weaken the American public with free food and circuses, setting all against the other, making everyone stew in resentment, until they are defenseless against Der Tag.
Laika, shall I build an annex for you at Rancho Rio Grande de Teocrito?
Dahlink Comrade Theo
And, Laika dahlink, remember that that was only a later outing of Brook Shields'. She was in Pretty Baby in which her mother was a whore in a New Orleans whorehouse, and her mother was Party Member, but one of THE party, Susan Sarandon, and her cherry was auctioned off. The house was run by an old whore who advertised to take all comers, and that would again change Meow or Zampolit.I KNOW THIS WHOREHOUSE!!! I think? During Mardi Gras in 1981, I was quite drunk and naturally I went looking for a restroom to take a leak. I stumbled (literally) into a the open door of a whorehouse that was a few blocks off of Bourbon Street somewhere. Drunk to the point of damn near blind, ask the lady there (the madam, I think) "kkkkhhhhey! ya gotta a ressthrum?" She points and say "Raught that way darlin'." I use the restroom and while in there it dawned on me that I was in a whorehouse. As I leave and thank the lady, she asks "Anything else Ah can do for ya?". I went to Nawlins with $20 in my pocket. Back then it was no problem to get drunk as hell and not have to pay a nickel for it as Mardi Gras. I thanked her again, told too broke and too drunk and I stumbled back out the door. True Story.
Too bad Brook Shields was not in the employ of this whorehouse at that time. I'd would have paid a little over market value ... say ... $5, and had a bounce on the mattress with her.
When I got back home (Montgomery, AL), I still had $20 in my pocket.
--
ZB
In 1972 I was in Nawlins for the first and last time as one of the uber-geek attendees at the 23rd International Science Fair. I made friends with a boy whose name I cannot remember and we wandered up and down Bourbon Street. I pointed out that there was a discount for couples, to keep out horny single men. This fellow said that he and another man he met had tried to go in posing as a gay couple--very daring then--but were turned down. I goggled at him. "You did WHAT?"
Really. I suspect he was trying to tell me something. And Jeff Parks, a friend here, who lived in Nawlins and worked there, said that the street is now divided into straight and, er, not. One of the bars has a sign on the women's restroom door saying, "Women. AND WE MEAN REAL WOMEN!"
I have no trouble believing that.
Ah to have been there during Katrina, when the cops were not organizing busses or evacuations but evacuating Cadillacs themselves without the difficulty of buying them.
It is a heavily Democratic city, of course.
Really. I suspect he was trying to tell me something. And Jeff Parks, a friend here, who lived in Nawlins and worked there, said that the street is now divided into straight and, er, not. One of the bars has a sign on the women's restroom door saying, "Women. AND WE MEAN REAL WOMEN!"
I have no trouble believing that.
Ah to have been there during Katrina, when the cops were not organizing busses or evacuations but evacuating Cadillacs themselves without the difficulty of buying them.
It is a heavily Democratic city, of course.
Quote:
I made friends with a boy whose name I cannot remember and we wandered up and down Bourbon Street.No Sh!t Shirley, who would have guessed?
Quote:
horny single men.No Kidding? Boy, er... I mean man....aw sh!t, never mind....we're solving the mystery now.
Quote:
posing as a gay couple--Quote:
It is a heavily Democratic city, of course.And your point is?
Er, perhaps I did not set the scene well. This was 1972. The place was filled with young people from all over the world, and those from AmeriKKKa were dressed in the high fashion of respectable proto-geek, for in those days geeks bit the heads off chickens. This meant high-heeled two-toned leather shoes with plaid laces, and red, white and blue blazers, and a hounds' tooth salmon-and-white polyester shirt. And collar-length hair. And with utterly no idea of anything whatsoever in the world--this was 1972 for Stalin's sake.
Such was the naivete of those days, a lot in this crew and certainly in me, that I would have believed that a bar had working girls in it if there were a sign out front in neon saying, "Blow job: $15."
Bars? Licentious behavior? Public drunkenness? Preservation Hall? I actually had a hurricane punch at Pat O'Reilly's with an ID card my sponsor, still a friend 36 years later, forged for me.
At my advanced age, having done rather a lot since then, I'd smile with indulgence, and a touch of envy, at the bumpsen and become inflamed at government corruption, that I wasn't getting a part of.
Such was the naivete of those days, a lot in this crew and certainly in me, that I would have believed that a bar had working girls in it if there were a sign out front in neon saying, "Blow job: $15."
Bars? Licentious behavior? Public drunkenness? Preservation Hall? I actually had a hurricane punch at Pat O'Reilly's with an ID card my sponsor, still a friend 36 years later, forged for me.
At my advanced age, having done rather a lot since then, I'd smile with indulgence, and a touch of envy, at the bumpsen and become inflamed at government corruption, that I wasn't getting a part of.
I have friends that have whined about buying new Nike shoes and going to "Nahlins" for Fat Tuesday only to have to throw away these brand new shoes because the stomach acid from the vomit ate away at the leather and destroyed them.
Piss and vomit.
Plus stupidity.
And the locals leave town....Just like Munchen and Oktoberfest.
Piss and vomit.
Plus stupidity.
And the locals leave town....Just like Munchen and Oktoberfest.
Every day is Oktoberfest nextdoor at my Opa's house. Yes, I can hear him right now doing the chicken dance.
I know people from Jena, LA; Ricky would drive through Nawlins at 4 AM en route to work on an off-short oil platform and he said that if he saw anyone at a red light, he'd run it for fear of car-jacking. He and his wife thought the biggest waste of taxpayer money was rebuilding it.
Which is a view not shared by cities who took in their human debris; Austin and Houston set up a jobs fair of sort, and scheduled buses to come to pick up people. One person showed up.
A friend Ron and his girlfriend Mary were staying in Fort Worth and the hotel was filled with Nawlins children who'd been there a year, who tore the hell out of everything. Motel owners tried to bill FEMA for the destruction of their property but FEMA said no, that's your problem.
Most of the money to maintain the levees which broke was stolen by local politicians. Do we have their cell phone numbers? Perhaps they could give us pointers.
Ray Nagin, the mayor who presided over the utter non-performance of the city at Katrina was re-elected. No shock; corrupt cities, of a different complexion, do that in West Texas.
Edwin Edwards, now spending time in prison, was forced out of the governor's house after his second term owing to some silly Constitutional law. After his one term out let him be eligible again, he boasted, "I'll be governor again unless they catch me in bed with a dead girl or a live boy." He was.
Such corruption. How can I get a piece of that?
Which is a view not shared by cities who took in their human debris; Austin and Houston set up a jobs fair of sort, and scheduled buses to come to pick up people. One person showed up.
A friend Ron and his girlfriend Mary were staying in Fort Worth and the hotel was filled with Nawlins children who'd been there a year, who tore the hell out of everything. Motel owners tried to bill FEMA for the destruction of their property but FEMA said no, that's your problem.
Most of the money to maintain the levees which broke was stolen by local politicians. Do we have their cell phone numbers? Perhaps they could give us pointers.
Ray Nagin, the mayor who presided over the utter non-performance of the city at Katrina was re-elected. No shock; corrupt cities, of a different complexion, do that in West Texas.
Edwin Edwards, now spending time in prison, was forced out of the governor's house after his second term owing to some silly Constitutional law. After his one term out let him be eligible again, he boasted, "I'll be governor again unless they catch me in bed with a dead girl or a live boy." He was.
Such corruption. How can I get a piece of that?
Was he caught with the dead girl or a live boy... but since he is a democrat (I assume) I will ask the question: was he caught with both?
Ah yes, Meow. Consistency is not a Democrat's virtue, save consistency in minding others' business and wallets. My eyes tear up at the thought of decades of sheer grasping greed and bossiness. How do they keep their edge? Why, after I've stolen a few million I'm just plain tired and these people keep on going and going and going.
I think that Edwards was caught with his hand in the till, not a catamite or fille de joie. Hope I got that right. Oh who cares? The froggies don't love us any more. Screw 'em.
I think that Edwards was caught with his hand in the till, not a catamite or fille de joie. Hope I got that right. Oh who cares? The froggies don't love us any more. Screw 'em.
Froggy only likes us when they hear German boots marching their way. Oh well, I think we can get by without Fwance.
But you know how hospitable they are, to have planted all those trees on the Champs-Elysées to shade the Germans as they marched in. And how many of their women were happy to consort with the SS officers, who could provide them with luxuries.
And then after Paris was liberated, despite the best efforts of farmers overturning carts to block American advances, those women had their heads shaved, whether to shame them or for lice I do not know.
But it is not this way in Normandy, where they love Americans and tend the cemetery well. And fly American flags.
And then after Paris was liberated, despite the best efforts of farmers overturning carts to block American advances, those women had their heads shaved, whether to shame them or for lice I do not know.
But it is not this way in Normandy, where they love Americans and tend the cemetery well. And fly American flags.
Commissar Theocritus
But it is not this way in Normandy, where they love Americans and tend the cemetery well. And fly American flags.Many years ago, while I was ... er ... in the employ of the USSA gov't, I was sent to west central France to a little town on the Loire River (I won't say the name of the town) to "deal with" a counter-revolutionary fugitive from the Democratic Party. What a beautiful place that area of France is! And they LOVE AmeriKKKans. I found that the further one got away from that shithole they call Paris, the more the people love Americans. Even the people in this town hated the Parisians. And for the same reason we do... because they're ASSHOLES!
--
Yes, they are, although in 1979 I found it useful to drag my feet and drawl French in a Texas accent, all the while remembering that Bob Strauss, one of the very few good Democrats, said, "Just because we talk slow don't mean we think slow."
Interesting to think that in the last 100 years Texans have been more important to the civilization of the world than the French. But then that's not much bragging, is it? But I agree with you about the Paris. Lovely city, wonderful museums, and they had, in 1979, finally gotten the public pissoirs off the street.
But who knows? There may be hope. Just recently the Ecole Nationale d something, which graduates only about 90 people a year, provides nearly all the people who run France. They've left Paris.
Too bad that les Froggies who run, or ran--Sarko is an unknown--in Paris look down their noses at the onset of Sharia law, which will happen, and some arrondissementes, I've heard, are utterly run by Muslim thugs. In typical leftist appeasement fashion they shriek and shout and point fingers and don't have the balls to deal with it. And their foolishness will hurt the decent ones.
Just as the foolishness on the East and left coasts hurt other places too. But then they're insulated from their folly by the system which they subvert. Funny, isn't it, that they would have paid by now under any other system.
Interesting to think that in the last 100 years Texans have been more important to the civilization of the world than the French. But then that's not much bragging, is it? But I agree with you about the Paris. Lovely city, wonderful museums, and they had, in 1979, finally gotten the public pissoirs off the street.
But who knows? There may be hope. Just recently the Ecole Nationale d something, which graduates only about 90 people a year, provides nearly all the people who run France. They've left Paris.
Too bad that les Froggies who run, or ran--Sarko is an unknown--in Paris look down their noses at the onset of Sharia law, which will happen, and some arrondissementes, I've heard, are utterly run by Muslim thugs. In typical leftist appeasement fashion they shriek and shout and point fingers and don't have the balls to deal with it. And their foolishness will hurt the decent ones.
Just as the foolishness on the East and left coasts hurt other places too. But then they're insulated from their folly by the system which they subvert. Funny, isn't it, that they would have paid by now under any other system.
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