In honor of Dan Rather, Komrade Kenneth will assist Dan in sending the signal. The frequency is now set. Dan, you may throw the switch and begin transmission:
Today Comrades, millions of socialists are taking to the streets of Amerika to advance the cause of the Welfare State! All borders shall be removed! The Mexicomintern Council has been working very hard with La Raza these past few months, blending fascism and socialism to come up a unique brand of progressive thought which is bound to destroy the Evil Gringo Bush and his capitalist knaves. Assimilation? No! Domination? Yes! Free stuff (hospital care) for everybody! We'll march today and get drunk on Friday, Cinco de Mayo! Even the Mexicans have kicked French Ass!
Another glorious year has passed in the triumphant march of Progressive Socialism! Many Great Leaps Forward have been made. United Google and China stand stronger than ever! Strange, hurtful words like democracy, freedom, human rights, and political prisoners have been purged and cleansed from the Internet in China with the courage and ingenuity of the engineers at Google. Bravo! The progressive world applauds Google for your stand against such outlandish ideas. It's a shame we had a little misunderstanding with you here at People's Cube, but we forgive you. The Order of Lenin has been sent C.O.D. to Comrade Brin. (Sorry about that Sergei, the Cube is a little short on cash; proletarians haven't been buying enough revolutionary t-shirts, and with the cost of vodka and caviar going up, sacrifices have to be made.)
While on the subject of appeasement, critical negotiations are in progress between the Democratic Party and Islamofascism. Hillary will announce that once sworn in as President of the United States in 2009, on the 70th Anniversary of the Nazi-Soviet Non-Aggression Pact, she will sign a Non-Aggression Pact with the Islamofascist World represented by Osama bin-Laden. Bells will ring and Moonbats will sing! Dean and Ahmadinejad will join. For now, ignore any hawkish talk by Hillary, she knows what she is doing...she had two great mentors, Adolph Hitler (PBUH) and Comrade Stalin (PBUH).
What more can we say about Hugo Chavez that hasn't been said already? Kind, caring, brilliant - you just name it! Che Guevara must be smiling down from Communist Heaven... oh wait, make that Communist Godless Heaven... you know what I mean. Fidel has been lonely for so long since Daniel Ortega was voted out, so now he has somebody to play dictator with in Latin America and isn't that grande?
Hooray for Hollywood! Hooray for Hollywood! Wow, what a year! Brokeback Mountain, Syriana, V for Vendetta, the list just goes on and on... The Culture War is as good as won. Thank you Hollywood and all of your celebrities who always answer the call of progress! You are Legion for you are many!
Cindy Sheehan? That name speaks volumes for itself and for itself and for itself and for itself and for itself. Casey did not die in vain, for without his death the world would never have known about Cindy. What's that Cindy? He did die in vain? Well I certainly f#%ked that one up, didn't I? I apologize. You can sit down now Cindy. Sit! I said sit down and be quiet. Can you do that for May Day? Just once? Will somebody from the Red Guards gag her? Just until I finish my May Day Communiqué and then you can let her off her chain. Thanks.
Refreshments will now be served at the Google hospitality suite, you can't miss it, it is right next to the NAMBLA children's day care pavilion we've set up for today's celebration if you brought your kids, especially little boys.
This year's food theme is "Viva Illegal Aliens!" Gobs of tacos and refried beans will be served with threats of a Mexican takeover in California, New Mexico, Arizona, Texas and the Upper Peninsula of Michigan... so watch out "Yoopers"! Compliments of La Raza - they've been cooking up their wonderful takeover schemes for weeks. Once more, 160 years of history proves nothing. Only tofu tacos will be served: meat is murder and we don't want to offend our vegan terrorist sponsors ELF and ALF.
We've got loads of Budweiser thanks to the Rev. Jesse Jackson and plenty of the hard stuff compliments of Teddy Kennedy. For those of you who don't drink alcohol, there's purple Kool-Aid and Bush flavored Haterade (the only flavor). Bill Clinton brought the "kind bud" so ask him to roll you one, just don't inhale. Have I missed anybody? If so, post a comment in the Cube.
It's been another great year, keep up the good work, and enjoy your one and only holiday!
The Hero Space Dog of Socialism,
Swamp RatViva La Raza! Happy May Day Laika!
Swamp RatViva La Raza! Happy May Day Laika!
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest
Rubiks & Rubik’s Cube ® used by special individual permission of Seven Town Ltd.
OFA admits its advice for area activists to give Obamacare Talk at shooting ranges was a bad idea
President resolves Obamacare debacle with executive order declaring all Americans equally healthy
Obama to Iran: "If you like your nuclear program, you can keep your nuclear program"
Obama: "I'm not particularly ideological; I believe in a good pragmatic five-year plan"
Shocker: Obama had no knowledge he'd been reelected until he read about it in the local newspaper last week
NSA marks National Best Friend Day with official announcement: "Government is your best friend; we know you like no one else, we're always there, we're always willing to listen"
Al Qaeda cancels attack on USA citing launch of Obamacare as devastating enough
The President's latest talking point on Obamacare: "I didn't build that"
Carney: huge ObamaCare deductibles won't look as bad come hyperinflation
Washington Redskins drop 'Washington' from their name as offensive to most Americans
Poll: 83% of Americans favor cowboy diplomacy over rodeo clown diplomacy
Obama administration gets serious, threatens Syria with ObamaCare
Obama authorizes the use of Vice President Joe Biden's double-barrel shotgun to fire a couple of blasts at Syria
Sharpton: "British royals should have named baby 'Trayvon.' By choosing 'George' they sided with white Hispanic racist Zimmerman"
Nancy Pelosi extends abortion rights to the birds and the bees
Hubble discovers planetary drift to the left
Obama: 'If I had a daughter-in-law, she would look like Rachael Jeantel'
FISA court rubberstamps statement denying its portrayal as government's rubber stamp
Every time ObamaCare gets delayed, a Julia somewhere dies
GOP to Schumer: 'Force full implementation of ObamaCare before 2014 or Dems will never win another election'
Janet Napolitano: TSA findings reveal that since none of the hijackers were babies, elderly, or Tea Partiers, 9/11 was not an act of terrorism
News Flash: Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA) can see Canada from South Dakota
Drudge Report reduces font to fit all White House scandals onto one page
Obama: the IRS is a constitutional right, just like the Second Amendment
Jay Carney to critics: 'Pinocchio never said anything inconsistent'
Obama: If I had a gay son, he'd look like Jason Collins
IRS targeting pro-gay-marriage LGBT groups leads to gayest tax revolt in U.S. history
Boston: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence'
Study: Success has many fathers but failure becomes a government program
Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy
This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester
White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras
Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse
Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school
Study: Free lunches overpriced, lack nutrition
Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: 'rapists and rapees should work together to prevent gun violence for the common good'
Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'
Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead
Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending
Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances
Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons
Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago
Karl Rove puts an end to Tea Party with new 'Republicans For Democrats' strategy aimed at losing elections
Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country
Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'
New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen
White House: when President shoots skeet, he donates the meat to food banks that feed the middle class
To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead
State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations
Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward
Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects
World ends; S&P soars
Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood
Greece abandons Euro; accountants find Greece has no Euros anyway
Wheel finally reinvented; axles to be gradually reinvented in 3rd quarter of 2013
As Santa's workshop files for bankruptcy, Fed offers bailout in exchange for control of 'naughty and nice' list
Freak flying pig accident causes bacon to fly off shelves
Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future
Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs
Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'
Study: Obama's threat to burn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties
Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years
Vice President Biden: criticizing Egypt is un-pharaoh
Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"
Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness
Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke
Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights
Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code.' Elsewhere rapists tout 'consent reductions in sexual intercourse'
Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't
Taking a page from the Reagan years, Obama announces new era of Perestroika and Glasnost
White House to impose Chimney tax on Santa Claus
Obama decrees the economy is not soaring as much as previously decreeed
Conservative think tank introduces children to capitalism with pop-up picture book "The Road to Smurfdom"
Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: "When you pray to God, do you always hear a response?"
Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!
Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: 'Come again soon!'
Obama to tornado victims: 'We inherited this weather from the previous administration'
People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies
Hamas: Israeli air defense unfair to 99% of our missiles, "only 1% allowed to reach Israel"
Voters Without Borders oppose Texas new voter ID law
Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond
Official: China plans to land on Moon or at least on cheap knockoff thereof
Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels
Poll: Progressive slogan 'We should be more like Europe' most popular with members of American Nazi Party
May Day: Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above
Midwestern farmers hooked on new erotic novel "50 Shades of Hay"
Study: 99% of Liberals give the rest a bad name
Obama meets with Jewish leaders, proposes deeper circumcisions for the rich
Cancer once again fails to cure Venezuela of its "President for Life"
Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory
White House: "Let them eat statistics"
Special Ops: if Benedict Arnold had a son, he would look like Barack Obama
I Own The World
It's Big Fur Hat
The Fine Report
The Looking Spoon
Sad Hill News
Looking at the Left
Red Planet Cartoons
Death By 1000 Papercuts