I come to you, as I know that you are really the top dog here. In my many years of absence here, during my mandatory suggested vacation in the North, for retraining, I could only think of reporting back here for duty, and vodka rations. In the tropical paradise that the state paid my all expenses vacation, in the North of Siberia, I learned two things. The truth, and it was sure cold there. But truth can take many forms when you have enough Volka. And here I am hoping to drink a lot more truth.
But enough of this whining Laika. What I see in my absence is a feeling of capitalism has taken root here. Can it be such? Tell me this is not true Comrade Laika? I ask you to put the bite on those Revisionists now running the Cube, and return this site to its rightful Stalinist ways.
We must all think alike, without any deviation whatsoever. In that way, and in only that way, can we ever be free.
Your Friend, and forgotten Comrade,
Stooge of the Revolution
Is that really you?
If so you must realize it is not Capitalism. Just merely selling the rope, Comrade. Selling the rope.
Of course its me, who else would come back to warn you, faithful and loyal friend. You must come down from being so high, and straighten out the mess that the Revisionists have made of this once great and proud site. We need someone like you who can bark out the orders that are required for leaders to follow.
Now during my vacation, my friends from the former KGB, who were watching me, err, I mean protecting me, told me some things I should share with you, old friend and companion. For this, I throw you this bone, for our past friendship. They told me that you had become rabid against Socialism, and that I should not wake a sleeping dog. But you will be happy to know, that I, Stooge, stood up for you, and told them that, "Laika, is a loyal as a ___," err, well, you get the idea.
During my absence, many things here have come about, that I know not what is happening. What my friend do you make of the ObamaCare? Is this Socialized Health Care, or Socialism for Doctors, Hospitals, and Insurance Companies? And where were the evil Republicans on this? My guards, err, I mean my friends of the Former KGB, told me that the Republicans were just against Health Care in general. Sometimes the truth is so hard to learn, not like at the resort where the truth can be beaten into you day and night, with your own shovel.
I must apologize for once again disturbing your slumber. And who can blame you, as the air must be very thin up there by now. But the events here require your immediate attention. Perhaps you feel you are above the problems of that plague this land and this site, and are spread like fleas. However high you are Space Mongrel, you must come down. Get a grip (leach and collar) on yourself and set yourself in motion to once again get into the breech of what needs to be done, for the good of the revolution! Now is not the time to howl that it cannot be done.
Even the mail system is broken at the People's Cube, this must be fixed Comrade. While I put my faith in you to clean up this mess, fear not, there is one that can help.
Ah, but the mail system is giving page not found error, glorious people's (Cube) mail system works like Soviet area mass produced Televisions sets or capitalists MS Xbox360's with the Red Ring of Death. For the shorter explanation, they are unlikely to work, and if they do, not for long.
If only Comrade Al (JR) E. Gore can look into this problem, with his vast internet experience. Other than you Laika, nobody is trustworthy and loyal to the party, except for Comrade Gore the Inventor. Beware of Baghdad Bob, I fear he is not really one of us!
"They told me that you had become rabid against Socialism"
I do not believe I've ever heard such a vile accusation about our Beloved Laika the Space Dog. That is utter nonsense. Look at the source of the accusation, "my friends from the former KGB". My Obama Comrade Stooge, they are the capitalists. You must get a grip my friend. The awful truth is that the Motherland has been overrun by Capitalists, while we in the USSA are very near to a Socialist Utopia that will be the envy of the entire World.
Anyway, many of the problems the People's Cube was experiencing in the move to the new servers have now been corrected. Welcome back Comrade and enjoy the New Cube.