I have been selflessly orbiting ![]() |
It is no coincidence that We deserve a three-day weekend! |
For the great November Victory and the Hard Work of Protesting, Marching, Registering People to vote whose address was a park bench, for the Dallas Cowboys voting in Las Vegas, for taking glancing blows with rubber bullets and accepting Hope and Change, you deserve a three-day weekend! Imagine that! When was the last time you had a three-day weekend? I bet you can't remember! Not to worry though, soon all the proletarians will achieve the Worker's Paradise of the Permanent Three Day Weekend. You are entitled! Enjoy!
We shall now take two minutes for Blame-Bush Hate. Scream it at the top of your lungs!
Good, now take a deep breath, adjust your tinfoil, and let out a big sigh... We were going to have Obama speak this May Day but due to the Bush Economy there is not enough Evian water to go around for all the proles who "Got Faint".
I'm sure you all understand now why Obama shouldn't give a May Day speech. It's For The Women who will Faint and Fall and Hurt The Children™ His Excellency did not disappoint us though, for he has sent us none other than Fearless Leader as a substitute guest speaker. Fearless Leader needs no introduction. Fearless Leader:
Because of you, Moose, Squirrel, and Arlen Specter have defected to our side. Unfortunately, the evil Palin killed and gutted Moose shortly after Moose saw the glorious light of International Socialism. Unfortunately though also, we could no longer provide suitable "Republican" cover for Arlen, so we had to make the obvious... well... ummm... let's say "obvious". Life is much like that. Party lose Moose, Party gain hybrid Weasel/Vulture. Struggle continues. Yes Cubists! I salute you for helping Party Achieve Power! This is true! We have power but the struggle continues!
It is now true that 2 + 2 = 5! It is now true that printing 747 trillion dollars Numbers are just that... numbers, and just like what Comrade Stalin once said "It's not who votes, but who counts the votes" numbers are what we say they are. We are counting the numbers! If printing 747 trillion dollars will reduce the deficit, it will reduce it because we say so and will it so!
I have to go now. I'm very busy. I have to check the photos I took of the "man-made disaster" faces of the people on the ground while I was buzzing The Statue of Liberty with Air Force One. Now that is power!
|




Pinkie
But I would like to have shoes just like Michelle's--the ones that cost $540 and have cute sparkly pink toes?

Obama
So Pinky, you can look forward to a new bicycle helmet retro-fitted to your tinfoil hat soon and so can every other American citizen as we blaze a Green trail into the 21st Century!Zampolit Blokhayev
You're making me feel guilty, because I have a $200 pair of wing-tips. And there so many poor children in the world that do not have $200 pairs of wing-tips. I feel their inhuman suffering. This is so depressing...
Red Square
An excellent example is this pair of shoes made of prole feet. Comfortable in any weather and have a fun feature of turning blue when walking on snow or ice. Low in maintenance - just spray them with Odor-Eaters when they begin to smell and apply sunblock in the summer.








Commissar Theocritus
Comrades, we must all be willing to take decisive action for the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™. From each according to his ability, to each according to his need. Actions do not have consequences. And we have hate-crime, i.e., Thoughtcrime™ legislation.

Commissar Theocritus
Nothing should stall our progress toward perfect liberty.

Sister Massively Opiated
Comrades,
Sister Massively Opiated
Commissar Theocritus
Saul Alinsky
Comrade Commissar,Commissar Theocritus
Nothing should stall our progress toward perfect liberty.
Quote:
"It is true liberty is precious - so precious that it must be rationed"
Red Square
Sister Massively Opiated
Comrades,
Obama
I'm sorry Pinky O.Commissarka Pinkie
But I would like to have shoes just like Michelle's--the ones that cost $540 and have cute sparkly pink toes?
Quote:
Snoogie Woogums, in this the American navy is greatly behind the Italian one. How do you separate the men from the boys in the Italian navy? With a crow-bar.

Red Square
Speaking of shoes, just before the news about Michelle's sneakers broke out, we posted this:Red Square
An excellent example is this pair of shoes made of prole feet. Comfortable in any weather and have a fun feature of turning blue when walking on snow or ice. Low in maintenance - just spray them with Odor-Eaters when they begin to smell and apply sunblock in the summer.

Laika the Space Dog
Comrades!It is no coincidence that
May Day would fall on a
Friday this Glorious Year
in The Progressive World
of This Tuesday!
We deserve a three-day weekend!

Comrade Whoopie
Comrade Space Doggie, I found a picture of Michelle wearing more appropriate footwear, although I think they are still too extravagant. Back during Mao's Cultural Revolution we worked in the rice paddies barefoot. Afterward we'd lace up our toes and proudly march back to town.
Red Square
I think we have located Pinkie's long-lost mother.
mi
Red Square
I think we have located Pinkie's long-lost mother.
[/center]| Related Articles | Author | Replies | Views | |
Official May Day Address '05 | Laika the Space Dog | 6 | 104639 | |
Official May Day Address 2007 | Groupthink | 12 | 12440 | |
Official May Day Address 2008 | Laika the Space Dog | 21 | 17207 | |
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest
News
Site map
SitemapIndex
RSS Feed
Channel list
Rubiks & Rubik’s Cube ® used by special individual permission of Seven Town Ltd.
News
Site map
SitemapIndex
RSS Feed
Channel list
News Flash: Sen. Mary Landrieu(D-LA) can see Canada from South Dakota
Susan Rice: IRS actions against tea parties caused by anti-tax YouTube video that was insulting to their faith
Drudge Report reduces font to fit all White House scandals onto one page
Obama: the IRS is a constitutional right, just like the Second Amendment
White House: top Obama officials using secret email accounts a result of bad IT advice to avoid spam mail from Nigeria
Jay Carney to critics: 'Pinocchio never said anything inconsistent'
Obama: If I had a gay son, he'd look like Jason Collins
Gosnell's office in Benghazi raided by the IRS: mainstream media's worst cover-up challenge to date
IRS targeting pro-gay-marriage LGBT groups leads to gayest tax revolt in U.S. history
After Arlington Cemetery rejects offer to bury Boston bomber, Westboro Babtist Church steps up with premium front lawn plot
Boston: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence'
Study: Success has many fathers but failure becomes a government program
US Media: Can Pope Francis possibly clear up Vatican bureaucracy and banking without blaming the previous administration?
Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy
This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester

White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras
Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse
Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school
Study: Free lunches overpriced, lack nutrition
Oscars 2013: Michelle Obama announces long-awaited merger of Hollywood and the State
Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: 'rapists and rapees should work together to prevent gun violence for the common good'
Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'
Kremlin puts out warning not to photoshop Putin riding meteor unless bare-chested
Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead
Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending
Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances
Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons
Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago
Karl Rove puts an end to Tea Party with new 'Republicans For Democrats' strategy aimed at losing elections
Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country
Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'
White House releases new exciting photos of Obama standing, sitting, looking thoughtful, and even breathing in and out
New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen
White House: when President shoots skeet, he donates the meat to food banks that feed the middle class
To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead
State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations
Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward
President issues executive orders banning cliffs, ceilings, obstructions, statistics, and
other notions that prevent us from moving forwards and upward
Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects
World ends; S&P soars
Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood
Meek inherit Earth, can't afford estate taxes
Greece abandons Euro; accountants find Greece has no Euros anyway
Wheel finally reinvented; axles to be gradually reinvented in 3rd quarter of 2013
Bigfoot found in Ohio, mysteriously not voting for Obama
As Santa's workshop files for bankruptcy, Fed offers bailout in exchange for control of 'naughty and nice' list
Freak flying pig accident causes bacon to fly off shelves
Obama: green economy likely to transform America into a leading third world country of the new millennium
Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future
Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs
Modernizing Islam: New York imam proposes to canonize Saul Alinsky as religion's latter day prophet
Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'
Study: Obama's threat to burn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties
Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years
Obama attends church service, worships self
Obama proposes national 'Win The Future' lottery; proceeds of new WTF Powerball to finance more gov't spending
Historical revisionists: "Hey, you never know"
Vice President Biden: criticizing Egypt is un-pharaoh
Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"
Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness
Al Gore: It's a shame that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of polar bears
Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke
Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights
Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code.' Elsewhere rapists tout 'consent reductions in sexual intercourse'
Obama's teleprompter unhappy with White House Twitter: "Too few words"
Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't
Taking a page from the Reagan years, Obama announces new era of Perestroika and Glasnost
Responding to Oslo shootings, Obama declares Christianity "Religion of Peace," praises "moderate Christians," promises to send one into space
Republicans block Obama's $420 billion program to give American families free charms that ward off economic bad luck
White House to impose Chimney tax on Santa Claus
Obama decrees the economy is not soaring as much as previously decreeed
Conservative think tank introduces children to capitalism with pop-up picture book "The Road to Smurfdom"
Al Gore proposes to combat Global Warming by extracting silver linings from clouds in Earth's atmosphere
Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: "When you pray to God, do you always hear a response?"
Obama regrets the US government didn't provide his mother with free contraceptives when she was in college
Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!
Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: 'Come again soon!'
Obama to tornado victims: 'We inherited this weather from the previous administration'
Obama congratulates Putin on Chicago-style election outcome
People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies
Hamas: Israeli air defense unfair to 99% of our missiles, "only 1% allowed to reach Israel"
Democrat strategist: without government supervision, women would have never evolved into humans
Voters Without Borders oppose Texas new voter ID law
Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond
Obama blames previous Olympics for failure to win at this Olympics
Official: China plans to land on Moon or at least on cheap knockoff thereof
Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels
Poll: Progressive slogan 'We should be more like Europe' most popular with members of American Nazi Party
Obama to Evangelicals: Jesus saves, I just spend
May Day: Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above
Midwestern farmers hooked on new erotic novel "50 Shades of Hay"
Study: 99% of Liberals give the rest a bad name
Obama meets with Jewish leaders, proposes deeper circumcisions for the rich
Historians: Before HOPE & CHANGE there was HEMP & CHOOM at ten bucks a bag
Cancer once again fails to cure Venezuela of its "President for Life"
Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory
Secretary of Energy Steven Chu: due to energy conservation, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off
Obama Administration running food stamps across the border with Mexico in an operation code-named "Fat And Furious"
Pakistan explodes in protest over new Adobe Acrobat update; 17 local acrobats killed
White House: "Let them eat statistics"
Special Ops: if Benedict Arnold had a son, he would look like Barack Obama
I Own The World
Supercommissar Maksim
It's Big Fur Hat
Blur-Brain
Terry Colon
The Fine Report
The Looking Spoon
Sad Hill News
Professor Kurgman
kathy blog
FAQster
AWOL Civilization
BestObamaFacts.com
Looking at the Left
Red Planet Cartoons
Julia Gorin
Brain Terminal
Death By 1000 Papercuts
Zombietime