Comrades, if one does not sign on here in this thread, on this day, I can only assume you are one of those irrational people celebrating a mythical birth. That being the case, I will feel it is my sworn duty to confiscate all OPM I can get my paws on, and denounce you to the proper authorities, which of course includes me.
I was just
May I be allowed the privilege of walking within the shadow of The State forever.
I thought we resolved that "mythical birth" conundrum when the Birth Certificate™ was posted on the Internet?
Comrades, I for one was not shocked as one might expect, by the absence of so many of our alleged comrades who did not log in yesterday. Comrades whose very names have been known and whispered about from the beginnings of our revolution, yet we know through long experience that often times it is the very people who appear the most loyal, the most progressive, the ones that have the most to lose are the same ones that turn out to be the ones that most need to be re-educated, denounced, or even purged! Perhaps they felt they were entitled to a day off from the Cube, some down time from the work for the People. Comrades who put their family and friends ahead of the Needs of the Many, or perhaps even more distressingly, due to some misconceived reverence for a mythical "Lord" or "Santa", not seeing how these failures of character can make others feel discriminated against. Where is the diversity in such activities?
It is also understood that there may well be some valid reason why some of our comrades were unable to check in here on a timely basis. But what should be done about them? Simple. It is far better that a few innocents feels the People's Judgement rather than allow even a single guilty comrade go free. We must re-commit ourselves to the tried and true principle of Preemptive Punishment. For surely, even the most worthy comrade has no doubt had some lapse at some point in time, or they will in the future. Therefore, I denounce each and every comrade whose name did not appear prior to this post!
Glorious, simply glorious.
R.O.C.K. in the USSAComrade Marshal, you are truly the Czar of Guilt!
Glorious, simply glorious.
Thank you comrade, it is fulfilling to be recognized for one's work For the Children. In truth, being Czar of Guilt is not only a passion of mine, it is also perhaps the easiest of my many duties that I doggedly perform for the People. Polar bears, rising oceans, hunger, internal combustion engines, the prohibitive costs of contraception and the burden that places on Harvard Law school graduate students, the persecution of peaceful Islamic disciples, 1%er's failing to pay their fair share, an alarming number of fetuses allowed to come to term, republicans..... Needless to say I can go on listing all the reasons why you should feel guilty! What you say? You don't think you should feel guilty for all these things, that you have always done your best to fight these inequalities in life's outcomes? You have? Do you really think we could not get a confession from you comrade?
Yes Comrade, guilt is my art, my craft, my duty for the People! Of course being so intimate with guilt, I am of course free of guilt.
Commissarka PinkieGo ahead and denounce me, Pupovich! Maybe it'll work for me the way it's always worked for you, and I'll finally get a damned promotion.
Commissarka, seeing your
*silently and cautiously raises a talon in vote for Pinkies